The Salvatore Hospital, Day 30ish, or something like that.
I was lying in bed when the whole damn pack decided to pay me a visit. I was angry, pissed off, and it seemed like every little thing was setting me off. Seeing Mariella hanging all over Damon made me sneer, lifting my upper lip in disdain.
I rose to sit and said to them, "Oh, so the pack has come to see me, the lowly idiot. Too bad there's no begging, pleading, or any kind of humiliation on my part for you. So Damon, sorry to disappoint you, but you don't get to be the stern pack leader and tell me that this is all for my benefit. You're all just a bunch of idiots."
Damon looked at me and said, "I understand that you're upset, Mimi, but you should eat more and have some coffee and Coke. My staff is trying to help, and lying in bed all day isn't really helping. Try to cooperate a bit."
I rolled my eyes, thinking, oh, what an idiot. He had no idea, and I wasn't going to tell him. Let him assume what this is all about. My paranoia made me see something in the faces of the pack members that probably weren't there. Or how the hell would I know? I looked at Magnum, who was standing next to Damon, looking at me solemnly.
I took a few steps and asked softly, "How many times have you slept with Mariella already? She's willing and I'm not. I'm stuck in here, feeling like a damn crazy person. You have your needs, I'm sure. But then again, I've seen you go without sex for long periods. But now that she's throwing it in your face, you surely don't decline from that eager pussy, do you? Are you in the process of becoming one of them, a mere fucking machine, the man with no brain but just dick with legs?"
Magnum looked at the floor, then raised his gaze but not looked at me in the eyes and said, "Yeah, you're right. She's willing, and now I'm much more hot-blooded. I don't see myself just as a fucking machine, though I have to admit, it is one thing that I have done quite a lot in the past."
I didn't want to listen. My state kept me feeling more and more enraged. Paranoia flooded my mind like wildfire.
I looked at Mariella and asked her, "How many of my five have you slept with? Who's next? Wulfe? Oh, no, you must have had him already. Maybe it's Dexter or Murdock. They're both good-looking men who care about me."
Damon stepped in and said, "Stop that, Mimi. There's no need to make this personal. We're trying to help here."
I looked at Damon, squinting my eyes, my mouth forming a tight, thin line. My rage was building, but it was in a form that he couldn't feel or consume.
My rage was ignited, and I found a whole new way to express it. Or perhaps it was my faulty brain that found a way.
As I sneered at Damon, my voice filled with anger, "Oh, the knight in shining armor saving the day? Always defending poor little Mariella. Well, tell me, how many have you seduced? What the hell is wrong with this world that I can't have anyone? You and Mariella always have to take everyone from me!"
My voice became shrill. Damon kept his expression neutral. He looked at me like he would not bother to answer my questions.
Wulfe stepped closer and softly said to me, "You haven't lost me, unicorn. I'm still here. You still got me. "
I looked at him and replied, "You're right where you want to be, next to Mariella, ready to serve. I lost you the moment Mariella noticed our bond. You just came in to see your little saving project, poor little Mimi, in need of Wulfe to save the day once again. It must be amusing for you to see me in this state, utterly powerless while you and your pack hold all the power. No more force of nature but just one more nutter trapped goddamn asylum! Tell me, do you want to give me again one bout of your cryptic advises or am I too far gone to deserve them?"
Wulfe swallowed and said, "It's not like that. You're not just a project to me, I do care..."
I interrupted, "Care? Please, I'm nothing but a freak. You get to help and feel good about yourself. Your feelings for me vanished the moment you started living in your new house. I can still smell it, the stench of the castle in Ireland, meaning you've been living there for weeks. Stop lying to my face and face the facts. I mean nothing to you, old creature, just a mere project you can spend your time on. And since I've gone crazy, you've found your true family, a family of magical creatures, other wizards and witches. They're the ones you truly consider your family, not me."
Wulfe fell silent, pain clear in his eyes, but I refused to acknowledge it or care anymore. My mind was not okay, and I was not okay, but I knew what to say and how to say it to make it hurt. I simply smiled coldly as I witnessed his pain.
As Wulfe remained silent and refused to look at me, Number Four stepped closer and sternly said, "You're out of line, missy. Remember, it's up to us whether you ever step out of here."
I sneered at him and retorted, "Oh, look who's talking. The one who was supposed to be Damon, the one who loved me. But in all the years you've been around, I haven't seen that guy actually exist. It's just you, a parody of him, trying to be something you're not. When, in reality, you're just one more guy for Mariella to use and manipulate."
He shook his head. He did not look me in the eye either, but I could see from his body language that my barb had hit home and properly.
Charles, was the one who could see that I wasn't okay. He still had the instinct and I could see a certain expression on his face.
He stepped closer and said softly, "Honey, you're not fine. I can see that something else is going on, and I don't blame you for saying those things. We need to get to the bottom of this."
I could see that he was getting in there. Little part of me wanted him to reach it, but then again my nasty side, it did not need anyone to care about me. As I was no one worthy of caring.
Damon said to Charles, "Don't bother, Cornick. There's nothing wrong with her except her stubborn refusal to acknowledge her problem and ask for help."
My soul sank as I realized that my chance of save had gone. Damon had blocked them, and I got really mad. Once again, he stuffed himself between me and Charles.
I looked at Damon and said, "Like I said, you brought this pack here to witness my growling and begging for mercy. But that's not going to happen. Fine, if you think you have some overwhelming grip on me because of this damn hive, let's make it redundant, shall we?"
My rage boiled over. He had once again blocked Charles from getting me, helping me. No more, time for him to learn his lesson.
He frowned and asked, "What are you talking about? You told me you can't destroy the hive, that it's dormant."
I didn't bother to say anything. Instead, I focused on all my hate and rage and directed it to the core of the hive. It burned away, getting weaker and weaker. A hot fiery power surged through my mind, causing immense pain. Damon tried to push back, trying to protect our bond, but the fire born from my unleashed rage was unstoppable. It mercilessly destroyed the bond, reducing it to ashes until there was nothing left.
I no longer felt Damon in my soul. Mariella sighed and trembled, her eyes rolling back as she fainted. She had been the first one to enter my hive, essentially my second in command, and now that bond was burned away too. It had been too much for her. She wasn't as strong as I had made her out to be. Damon had always struggled if the women in his life were too powerful.
The men groaned as bond after bond burned away. I no longer felt them in my mind, no connection, no sense of belonging. The last bond to burn away was the one between me and Wulfe. Even as it burned, Wulfe couldn't stop me.
He looked at me with hate in his eyes and whispered, "How dare you do this to me, you goddamn wench! You knew how important this was to me, and you had to destroy it! Fine, be yourself. I don't need you, and I won't give anything to you. No need for you to think of me, as I won't be thinking of you! You're not my unicorn anymore, you goddamn monster. It was all a lie, and you've been using me."
I no longer felt him in my mind, either. I didn't say anything. My face remained expressionless as I saw the pain and hurt on his face. He turned away and walked off.
Damon glanced at me, a small trickle of blood trickling from his nostril. He had attempted to save the hive, but I proved to be stronger, and now it was all lost. The bond between us was severed.
He uttered to me, "It's your decision, Mimi. It's your burden. I'm not certain if you'll ever be a part of my life, or if I even want anything to do with you. No need to beg. I won't assist you any longer. You're on your own. You must remain here until it's clinically safe for you to leave. Then you are free to go and live your wretched existence. I hope it's lonely, difficult, and devoid of any happiness for a long time. You truly have no heart or soul. Don't fear, I will never marry you."
I remained silent, unaffected by his words. I felt nothing, empty. As he turned and walked away, I returned to my bed and lay down, hoping that the nightmares wouldn't return. My body ached, and I knew I wouldn't have the strength to maintain my camouflage for much longer. But I had no fear that my former pack would want anything to do with me.
I knew I had destroyed something that could have brought perfection to my life. However, I also knew that I didn't deserve happiness or anything good in my life. What Damon had hoped for in my future, I knew, would be my reality. I had accepted it as my own. Damon and the pack would never understand me or the daily struggles I faced. Let them have their perfect lives, while I remained here until they deemed me fit to leave. I could still sense the echo of their footsteps as they walked away, even though I hadn't actually heard them.
I closed my eyes, my mind a dark and empty place, offering no comfort, hope, or salvation. I was eternally doomed, and even though humans imagined hell to be different, I knew it was a little different from my own existence. I would live forever, so there was no fear of getting trapped there. My life was a living hell at times.
The ceiling was made out of large slabs, and I could see fire alarms hanging over the plexiglass roof that enclosed me. The lighting came from spiral-shaped light fixtures that provided a gentle illumination, not too harsh on the eyes. It seemed like a hospital system. The air had a faint smell, almost nonexistent, and I felt numb, as if nothing affected me. I shivered as goosebumps rose to my arm for some reason.
The hive's neurotransmitters had burned Mimi's brain out, greatly diminishing her ability to feel anything. If she hadn't done what she did, she would have been able to retain her feelings for longer, but her tired brain, plagued by nightmares and there was no more good feelings left in her, had had it and it wanted to rest. Many factors had been affecting to that decision, but one being the presence of two ghosts, had driven her to this point.
Jake and Rob, her true soulmates who would love her unconditionally, were still with her, although Mimi couldn't perceive them as strongly anymore. They knew it wasn't their place to save her this time, but rather someone else who would initially catch her fall. All they could do was watch and try to offer her support. When it became clear that all she could feel were negative emotions, it was better for her to take a break from feeling.
So they whispered to her, urging her to burn away the hive, to burn away her feelings. The time would come when she would be able to feel again, but for now, she needed a respite, even if it meant sacrificing love. This lesson would be necessary for the whole pack. As the truth came out, they realized that Mimi wasn't the only one who was sick. Many of them were, and perhaps then they could start to move forward.
Jake stood next to her bed, reaching out his hand to touch her, but his hand passed through her as if she were made of air. However, her skin formed goosebumps, and she shivered slightly before closing her eyes, hoping for a deep rest with no dreams or nightmares, not that nightmares could even affect her anymore. But they left her feeling even more tired. She was exhausted from constantly feeling and being the one who had to endure the brunt of it all, taking hit after hit.