章節 1: 1. Amazing Grace.
Charles looked at the clock. It did not seem to go anywhere. Ever since it is what happened again with Damon and Mimi, causing Damon to make them all divorce her, dump her and he had ripped flank organ and collar out of her, he was no longer her vampire husband anymore, Charles had felt this pain in his soul. And now, recently, it had gotten so much worse. He felt hopeless, like there was no way to get Mimi back and he just did not understand where this feeling came from.
He had hoped that this crisis would not take another seven years for to Damon get some sense to him and this time he felt nothing for Mimosa or Shadow, not even Mariella. He had just this awful feeling that something horrible had happened. Something that would break his heart and he did not want to know, but somehow he knew that the truth would come out.
He had not spoken about this to Adam or the boys. They had gotten into a different house. Somehow Ireland's castle was no longer for their safety. Charles knew that if this would lead to something that he did not want to even think of, he would never forgive Damon or want to be in that pack.
He suddenly noticed that his phone beeped. It was Magnum informing that he would come to give him some delivery, no questions. Charles swallowed. He hoped that this was nothing so bad as it felt and as Damon had ripped Mimi out of their souls, he could feel this pain in his soul. It just has been awful in time for Mimi to get many of these painful wounds in her soul.
He saw soon that Magnum drove up to the yard. Charles went to see him. Magnum stopped his big jeep, left it running, got out, and took the big box from the backseat. Charles could see that his friend was distraught, but it was not his business to ask nosy questions.
Magnum came to him, gave him the box, and said, "Here. I am done now. I hope..." his voice broke.
He turned away and get off his car, wiping his eyes. Soon he drove off. Charles felt that his heart was racing and he so much hoped that this delivery would have nothing to do with Mimi but same time, he knew it had everything to do with Mimi.
He carried the box inside and took it into the living room. They were at Pennsylvania Manor, and Adam and the boys were in the kitchen making food. Charles looked at the box. No writing. He opened it and there were smaller boxes inside, each of them was written one name.
One box for him, one for Adam, one for Lepard, and one for Demon. There were envelopes on top of each box, their names, with Mimi's handwriting. Charles took a deep breath and lifted his box with his name on it. He carried it to the sofa, sat down, and took the envelope. It smelled like Mimi. He opened the letter. It was a few papers, Mimi's handwriting. He started to read, his heart shattering into dust same time.
He read the letter, his tears dropping into it as he read it.
My love, this is the hardest thing that I have ever done. Saying goodbye to you, to our lives. Know that I loved you till the very end. I hope you can feel it. Don't blame Damon. He is and was Weathervane. He can't help it and Nick set me up. I brought this to myself as I wanted to save this pack.
He was not aware of what I was doing. But I got the hint that Nick was about to wake Damon's maker, Annaliese, one woman who might have a hold over him. She would have destroyed our pack, so I had one last white oak stake, I had split it into tiny sticks and I went to the motel where Nick was, subdued him, and almost killed him with those sticks, I got him back off and not wake Annaliese up. He set me up, Freya called and gave Damon that hint about me.
Nick, he is insane. He got mad, when Damon then found my heartbreak vault, lost his nerve, and dumped me off that trip, Nick got me, he had Angelus with him, as well as Krycheck and a lot of fear demons, all sorts of nasties, he tried to make me into the breeding machine, but I kept my hormones low. Not working and escaped, but the damage had already been done. They broke my mind into dust; I used my rage, making it into the fabric to hold myself until I was free. I was not gonna stop existing in there.
But my fabric is not strong enough, my love. It falters, and my mind is slipping away. I am saying goodbye; I know I do have not much time and I wish that there was something that I could do, to stop this but there is nothing. I have given Magnum a hard task to deliver this box to you, for all of you. There is the letter where I have given orders on what to do. Please do as I ask. You know it is for the best.
There is also the time when Damon will learn the truth, that I do not exist anymore, my mind does not exist and he will break, they all will and I will hope that you will stick as a pack, but if it is too hard for you my love, leave the pack, make with boys and Adam your own pack, and try to live without me. I know it is a hard ask, the difficult thing for you to do, but you have no choice.
As you read this letter, I am already gone. You must feel it and I am sorry for causing you so much pain. There are memorial stones for each of you and I have tried to pour as much me into them as possible, so you would have something to hold on to before time will help you cope and move on.
Be happy, my love, my heart, that you have not my memory, but time will heal you some. Take care of the boys and Adam, too. I know that my five, Wulfe, Colin, Magnum, Murdock, and Dexter, will be very broken too. I hope someone will look after them.
There will be time to remember me, and it is up to you if you want to make the world know that I no longer exist or will you let me just fade away into legend, part of history as the woman who might have someday existed? And if there comes a time that you will forget me, my voice, my face, don't be upset, just let me go, move on, and find happiness. I am so sorry that I could not give you the eternity that you deserve, my eternal love. I wish I could write a book about how much you meant to me. I tried to pour it into those stones because my time is limited and I need to write a few more letters still. Yours forever, Mimi.
Charles had not noticed that Adam and the boys had come in, seen his face, taken their own boxes and letters, and read them. Only raw pain in Lepard's cry woke him up and he saw him shaking, keeping the letter in his hand and he could not talk. Demon had taken his feline form. He was lying curled up, not wanting to move.
Adam did not say anything. He felt so raw rage toward Damon that he could not say a word. He wanted to teleport into him and show him this stinking letter, but Mimi had asked him to honor her wishes, not give in to rage and revenge, not for Damon at least. Adam could not think of any kind of memorial event, not even now, and he was in too much pain. His heart, and soul were crushed, and he had to work on trying to find a reason to go on.
He remembered Mimi's original plan to go into the coffin to hide and be there and damn; it felt like a good option. But he loved Mimi too much, not to do as she wanted. Maybe after this goodbye it would be time to rest, go into a coffin, and wither away in there for centuries so long until his memory would forget this soul-gnawing emptiness.
His gaze fell again on that letter, and he read it again.
Adam, my love, if there has been ever who has truly loved me, all of me, and wanted me it is you, from that very start you were the one who took care of me, you loved me, taught me, you have been my soul. My savior, my defender. I have been so honored to have lived with you.
Honor to call myself as your wife. I am sorry that I was never Mimi Hauptman, I should have to, Charles will know what happened to me, and why I stopped existing and I know that you have a strong bond, so you will know that too.
I love you with all I have and so much more. I hope that these memorial stones will help even a bit, but our love is so strong that you will be broken by the loss of me, but try to hold on to my love. I do not want you to become an empty shell just because you loved me. You can love, love someone else and you are truly immortal, you have time.
We did not have the time that I thought we had I should have to say to you more often that I love you, that you are the one for me, even though I had my ups and downs with Damon you have been one certain thing in my life. My safe. My shelter in this stormy world. It will be hard for you once again to let go of the one that you loved and you might feel you don't want to love anymore, but love anyway.
Remember how our love felt, it is my wish to you that you will love someday. If you someday forget me, that is just fine. Move on and enjoy life. Love, life, and see all those sunsets and sunrises. Even if I am not with you, I am not next to you, kissing you, but maybe someone else is someday, and then your soul can sing too.
I know you are mad at Damon for reacting all wrong, but there comes a time when he learns the truth; he feels it as he is a telepath and Adam, remember that week, but this time, it is permanent. My body will live, my mind is gone. There are instructions on how to deal with my body, in such a fashion that evil sark or anyone else naughty one can't get to it. It gives you time to then move on.
I will love you, always and forever. I hope you can feel it in these memorials and feeling stones that I have left for you, too. Just a little piece of me, what I could give to you as my one last gift. Yours, Mimi.
Adam said in a thick voice, "How in god's name we should go on? She is gone. I can feel it, and we have just left some damn rocks when horseshit Salvatore did it again. I hope he suffers as much as I."
Lepard did not say anything, only a thin stream of blood ran down from his nose.
Charles said, "Stop it, she is gone. That won't do any good."
Lepard sighed and passed out. Charles cursed to himself, checked him, and muttered to himself. He took the envelope and read Mimi's wishes. They were quite simple.
There would be viewing, the first few days for the pack, her five, and a few more close ones. Then Colin would kill her body and public viewing if they would want to do it. Three days, place of their choice so fleas could come and say goodbye. It would be good if pack would be there at the start, after those three days, her body which was in the special glass coffin, would be transported Moldovan castle cellar and in there coffins special feature would be used, that would burn her body to ashes. Then all the ashes would be collected in a special urn and there would be a placed spell preventing those few cells from multiplying. Wulfe could assist with that. The urn should be left in that cellar, and then they had to just move on without her.
Charles cried as he read the instructions. Somehow it was logical, but even though of memorial saying goodbye, and seeing her body, it felt too much at that moment he knew that the time would come when he would honor her wishes. One wish was that no one would say anything to Damon.
He would have only a card asking him to take part in saying goodbye to Mimi and he would think that Mimi had simply shut her body like she said that she would have done if Jake and Wulfe would not help her. And Damon would be given his letter just before that private viewing. There was a small box of stones for him too, but only given after that viewing.
Adam read those instructions too, the same did Mimosa and Shadow. Boys, too, did not want to be any more in human form, they could not bear to be. Mimosa had to be put to sleep for a week while men prepared to view. They had not gotten to see Mimi. Not yet. They just could not bear to see her body breathing, her eyes open, her body being alive, but her mind gone. They would see her when the time was right and then they hoped to be strong enough to get through this.
Do what Mimi wanted and then the hard task, the hardest, move on without her. Mimosa could not function. She desperately tried to see any little change to get Mimi back. Anything at all even spells that could change the past, or visit the past but finding that kind of spell was a very tiny chance, and even if that would find, they didn't have power, not even salvatores would have that kind of oomph.
Upstairs could do nothing, this was just random things, actions, and consequences and even Mimosa argued with god, she tried to ask anything, and he gave her nothing, and thus, men put her to sleep, her desperation seemed to make this all so terrible.
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