章節 18: We Need Raj
Sheldon, Leonard, and Howard were sitting on the couch, eating the Chinese food they ordered every week. The silence of the meal was interrupted when Sheldon put his chopsticks down on the table with a look of discontent.
"This is completely unacceptable."
Leonard glanced over, already sensing what was coming. "What is it now, Sheldon?"
Sheldon pointed to the plates on the table. "These portions were prepared for four people, but there are only three of us eating."
Howard shrugged and commented, "Then eat a little less, Sheldon. It's not the end of the world."
Sheldon stared at him, incredulous. "Not the end of the world? We're talking about a system collapse. These meals are balanced for four individuals, distributed precisely to maintain harmony in our eating pattern. Raj's absence is introducing a factor of chaos. And chaos is the first step toward anarchy."
Leonard: "Sheldon, it's just food. We can simply divide it between the three of us. It's not a big deal."
Sheldon shook his head. "Divide? Leonard, we've been through this. Dividing unevenly compromises the cycle of calories we consume throughout the week. And when the routine is broken, we quickly fall into a spiral of disorder. Believe me, the last thing we need is a spiral."
Howard rolled his eyes. "You're saying our health depends on Raj being here to eat with us?"
Sheldon answered immediately, without hesitation. "Exactly."
Leonard looked at Howard, then back at Sheldon. "And what do you suggest? We just stare at our plates waiting for Raj to come back?"
"No, of course not, Leonard. The most rational thing would be to call Raj and demand that he comes over, even if he's late." He turned to Howard. "And, Howard, you should be the one responsible for this task."
Howard frowned, confused. "Why me?"
"Because, out of all of us, you have a relationship of… let's say, eccentric affinity with Raj. He trusts you more to share trivial conversations. Also, you're the only one he talks to about his questionable hobbies, so he's more likely to answer your call." Sheldon shrugged.
Howard made a face but recognized the logic. "Questionable hobbies, huh? Thanks for the compliment…"
He picked up the phone and dialed Raj's number. After a few rings, the call went to voicemail, and Raj's voice message echoed through the room:
"You've reached Rajesh Koothrappali, future Nobel Prize winner and hopeless romantic. Leave your message, and if you're a supermodel, consider this an invitation to dinner. If you're Howard… you still owe me twenty bucks. Bye!"
Howard hung up and shook his head. "He's still stuck on those twenty bucks."
The next day:
Sheldon, Leonard, and Howard were playing video games together. Sheldon, visibly annoyed, suddenly paused the game, interrupting the session. Leonard and Howard sighed in unison.
"Again, Sheldon?" Leonard complained.
Sheldon looked at them with a serious expression. "This is the second consecutive day we're playing a game designed for four people, and there are only three of us. This is beyond acceptable."
Before Sheldon could continue, Howard raised his hand and interrupted him. "Yes, yes, I get it. I should call Raj because I have more affinity with him. Because I always talk to him, we have questionable hobbies in common." He shook his head sarcastically. "You know what? I'll do it right now."
Leonard chimed in. "Or we could ask Penny to join us."
Sheldon looked at Leonard with indignation. "Penny? In the video game? Leonard, we can't compromise the integrity of the experience by involving someone who lacks basic skills. That would be a complete disaster."
Howard already had the phone in hand. "Okay, I'll try Raj again."
He called, put it on speakerphone, and, as expected, the same voicemail message echoed: "Hello, you've reached Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali. At the moment, I'm too busy to answer, probably because I'm exploring the mysteries of the universe… or looking at dog pictures on the internet. Leave your message, and maybe I'll get back to you. But don't count on it!"
The three left Leonard and Sheldon's apartment and headed straight to Penny's apartment.
Penny: "What's going on? You guys look like you're up to something."
Sheldon: "Penny, we need you to restore the symmetry of our game. Raj isn't here, and it's vital for the group's balance that we have a fourth player. Given your physical proximity and our lack of options, you were the most logical choice."
Penny blinked, trying to process what she had just heard. "So… you want me to play video games with you?"
They all nodded in unison.
Penny laughed and shrugged. "Ah, why not? But I'm warning you, if you think I'm going to understand all of Sheldon's crazy rules, you're dreaming."
Leonard smiled. "Don't worry, Penny. It's just for fun."
Sheldon looked at Leonard, clearly not satisfied. "For fun? Leonard, this is about maintaining order. Fun is a byproduct of perfect symmetry."
Penny playfully tapped Sheldon on the shoulder, laughing. "Okay, okay. I'll play, but I'm not promising I won't mess something up."
[Some Time Later]
Penny let out a loud laugh after taking down Sheldon's avatar in the game. "Man, that was awesome!"
Sheldon put down the controller and stood up, adjusting his shirt. "This is ridiculous. The game clearly has a defect or failed to interpret the physics correctly."
Leonard glanced at him, already predicting the reaction. "Sheldon, relax. It's just a game."
Howard shrugged. "Or maybe Penny's just really good at blowing brains out."
Sheldon ignored them, still visibly disturbed. "This only reinforces the fact that we need Raj. Tomorrow, we're going to his place."
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.
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[Next Day]
Sheldon, Leonard, and Howard arrived at the entrance of Raj's building. The glass facade and the marble-lined lobby were polished to perfection. Leonard looked around, impressed.
"Wow… Does Raj really live in a place like this?" Leonard asked.
Howard, who had been there before, smiled. "Come on, the guy's loaded. You should've expected something like this."
The three made their way to the intercom. Howard, already familiar with the system, pressed the button and waited. After a few seconds, a male voice responded.
"Skyview Heights Residential. How may I help you?" the doorman asked politely.
Howard leaned closer to the microphone. "This is Howard Wolowitz. My friends and I are looking for Raj. Is he in?"
The doorman hesitated for a moment. "Ah, Mr. Wolowitz… Mr. Koothrappali is not in the building. He left two days ago and hasn't returned since."
Sheldon: "Clearly, he's avoiding the disorder he created in our balance."
Leonard tried to downplay it, "Well, maybe he just took a few days off, Sheldon. It's not the end of the world."
As they talked, the rumble of engines grew louder. Sheldon, Leonard, and Howard turned to see a group of motorcyclists approaching. They parked in front of the building, and the three friends froze as they realized what was happening.
"You've got to be kidding me," Howard muttered, wide-eyed.
Sheldon, incredulous, said, "This is absolutely unacceptable. A residential building being invaded by a group of noisy motorcyclists? These bikes clearly exceed acceptable noise levels in a residential area."
Leonard whispered, "Seriously, Sheldon? Now's not the time to debate noise ordinances."
Before Sheldon could continue his complaints, one of the bikers removed his helmet, revealing, to their surprise, Raj. He wore a black leather jacket with an eagle emblem, looking at his friends.
"Hey, guys! What are you doing here? Were you looking for me?"
Sheldon: "Raj, you've caused disorder in our routine that—"
Before he could continue, Leonard covered his mouth. "We came because you didn't answer our calls."
"Oh, right. My phone died. I've been kinda busy with something important."
"These are my friends. Jake, Tommy, and Mike. I met them a while ago. Good guys."
Jake got off his bike, took off his helmet, and approached the group with a friendly smile. "You must be Raj's friends. He's talked a lot about you."
Leonard waved back, a little intimidated. "Nice to meet you, too."
Howard, on the other hand, was eyeing the leather jackets the bikers were wearing. He stepped closer to Jake, visibly excited, and asked, "Those jackets… do you guys have one in a small size?"
Jake laughed, "First, you have to join the Eagles."
Howard furrowed his brow, not fully understanding. "Eagles? Is that some kind of club?"
Jake laughed again and replied, "Yeah, something like that." He gave Howard a playful pat on the shoulder.
Howard rubbed his now-sore shoulder, muttering, "That hurt…"
Tommy approached Leonard and Sheldon with a curious look. "So, do you guys work with Raj, or what?"
Sheldon looked at Tommy as if the question were almost insulting.
"Work with Raj? No. Raj is an astrophysicist specializing in detecting signals from distant planets, a task that, while fascinating for laypeople, is more like child's play when compared to my field of study. I am a theoretical physicist. While Raj looks at the stars hoping something will shine, I deal with the fundamental laws that govern the universe. In other words, if Raj were an astronomer watching a fireworks show, I would be the engineer who invented gunpowder."
Leonard, noticing the confusion in Tommy's eyes, tried to ease the tension. "What Sheldon's trying to say is, yes, we all work at the same university."
Sheldon shook his head in disapproval. "Reducing my explanation to something so simplistic is almost a crime against science, Leonard."
Meanwhile, Mike was still leaning against his bike, blowing smoke into the air, clearly uninterested in their conversation.
Jake, checking the time on his watch, said, "Well, guys, we've got to go. I'll catch up with you later, Raj."
Raj smiled and waved back. "Sure, Jake. Talk to you later."
Jake and the other bikers put on their helmets and sped off, disappearing down the street, leaving a trail of smoke.
Leonard immediately turned to Raj. "Okay, Raj, care to explain what that was all about?"
"Well…"
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A/N: I've been feeling kinda tired lately, probably from work stress. But I'll try to keep adding chapters regularly, though there won't be a set schedule. It takes me around 6 hours to write just one chapter. It's really time-consuming. With this chapter, I've erased and rewritten more times than I can count… Anyway, hope you enjoyed it.
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