章節 60: Chapter 36: This one is for them short Kings!!!! Part 1
After the interview, I spent the rest of the day and the remainder of the week doing what I've been doing every waking second for the past few months: devouring books. Well, technically, I use the Gemini spell to create a double of the book, and then proceed to devour the book, but it's essentially me absorbing all that knowledge.
It's as tedious as it sounds, but honestly, the benefits are immense. I can proudly say that I'm probably the third most educated person in all of Britain as of now, and on my way to become number two. And unlike the top two, who spent decades accumulating their knowledge, I did it in mere months. Sure, my knowledge is a bit fragmented because no single book covers an entire topic comprehensively. Each book is just a glimpse into the larger subject I'm trying to master. Reading books only makes you book smart, not necessarily proficient in using that knowledge. But I've been training for weeks to at least be proficient in a few branches of magic that have piqued my interest.
As for which ones I have an interest in, well, anything that helps me mess with people, and I put great effort into finding which branches those are.
The part that really slows me down isn't using the spell, devouring the book, or even the training that follows. It's the integration of knowledge. Despite it being almost instantaneous, my head feels deep-fried after each book, and I need a few minutes to regain my focus before I start devouring the next one.
My only entertainment during this time is Slav'Dred, my hundredth house-elf. The little bugger has a special task: writing down the name of every book I've devoured and telling me if I'm double-dipping. As you might expect, putting an elf up to this task is extremely funny, and pointless. These little incestuous shitheads can barely talk, let alone manage to write anything coherent. But I love having him do it.
Why, you might ask? Well, it's not about it actually working; it's about watching him fail. The look on his expectant face after every attempt is so hilarious. And when I tell him he failed, it's even funnier. Only parents can probably understand this joy when their little brats come up to them, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, saying, "Look, Mommy, I did something!" and then you have to tell them they did something shitty. That devastated look is priceless.
So, there I am, absorbing knowledge at a breakneck pace, occasionally chuckling at Slav'Dred's hopeless attempts at literacy, and feeling pretty damn good about myself.
The other problems in my life are basically solving themselves right now. The vamps have set up a whole new system for transporting and selling drugs. The prisons are bringing in a steady supply of blood, and I've expanded that to include small villages and private schools, selling high-class blood and bio blood. I even decided to bottle it up in some fancy containers and sell it to the vamps. I mean, I'm paying them, renting them, feeding them, and so on, all in the good spirit of capitalism.
It's kinda funny if you think about it because they're bloodsuckers, but I'm the actual bloodsucker!
I've also managed to sneak Fang's pack out of the Forbidden Forest into the reservation. The tribe started the same way as Fang's tribe: werewolves had children, the wolves had children, but unlike their parents, the kids could transform back into humans again.
So, Fang's kids will have the power to transform back into humans just like the wolves in that tribe.
I made it part of the deal to bring all the wolves that live in the Forbidden Forest and build them a portal to travel between the two locations, basically creating a whole new tribe.
One more thing I realized is that the tribe has magic, well, like all squibs do, but I finally found a way for squibs to utilize magic. It's quite insane, to be honest—a feat that will have my name go down in history for sure.
I created the Witchers, a whole sub-genre of wixen kind, and not only Squib's can become Witcher's, but Vamp's and Wolves too. Early on, I suspected that squibs have the potential to become more, be it as vampires or werewolves, and my assumption was based on hard, cold facts.
Why do some vampires have powers while others don't? Why do some muggles become werewolves while others die? And how has the church managed to create their abomination of True Wolves unless they lucked upon a stupid squib every few thousand death people? They themselves are unaware of this fact, but I used this knowledge.
I had the Vamps bite some squibs to see if they developed powers, and indeed they did. I am the first person to know how to continually create Vamps with special powers, and I am also the first to know how to give them all access to magic.
Sure their magic is highly restricted into what they can and cannot do, but it is magic nonetheless.
And oh, mother of capitalistic fuckery, did I abuse the shit out of this knowledge. I have started to plan the set up of a whole new school, one for monsters and squibs!
If I want a new order, I need to re-educate society in how I want them to live with the new order in mind. The best approach is to educate their children, so I set up a school named Nevermore.
My only lacking step in creating my new world is that I have yet to find a way to do what Hogwarts has: a way to detect squibs and send them an invitation letter magically. But I am working on that one.
I even came up with an insane Latin proverb for my school! Why did I do that? Because Hogwarts has one, and so does every other school. But they can all go fuck themselves because mine is much better, or maybe it's not, but at least it's mine.
"Nos sumus occulta veritas." This is the school's motto, translating to "We are the hidden truth." And one may ask why I chose this one. Because it is the fucking truth.
I intend for this world to change and for us to live semi-openly among others, but as a leading class rather than as several ostracized societies living in the shadows. We will be the hidden truth amongst society, and I intend to raise this new truth.
So, there you have it. My grand plan is unfolding nicely. Who knew world domination could be so amusing?
As I'm contemplating all my ongoing projects, I hear footsteps. The next moment, my door is kicked open, and, as always, it's Gramps.
Despite being a noble, this old man has absolutely no manners. For some odd reason, he's pissed at me for killing the queen, taking over Britain, and becoming the de facto leader of the place.
I mean, sure, it was a spontaneous move, but what did he expect me to do? Bow to some muggles and become their bitch?
"Are you ready, brat?" he asks angrily.
"I am ready! What about you, old fossil?" I throw back with an equal amount of bite.
"Bastard!" he says through gritted teeth.
"Cunt," I mutter back.
"I should punch your teeth in, you ungrateful little twat!" he yells.
"I should rip out your saggy balls and shove them down your throat, spineless coward!" I reply. Just when we're about to throw punches at one another—
"Can't you guys just stop it?!" My grandma says angrily as she steps out of his shadow.
I remember the talk we had that day when I got home, and the old man threw forbidden curses at me. I threw some back, but we're both too fast for mere spells to land. Unless we overcharge the spell or chain it with other, faster spells, it's impossible to land a hit.
Seeing how spells didn't work, we started getting physical. Eventually, I had to transform too after he did his transformation. We started biting and clawing one another, but the old douchebag, despite being old and with one leg in the grave, put up a somewhat decent fight. Still, I wiped the ground with his wrinkly old arse.
Eventually, my grandma stepped in and used her position to negotiate peace between us. I agreed, even though I was the clear winner. But the sore loser can't just let it be and starts talking shit every chance he gets.
"He started it! Not enough that our family was some muggles' bitch, but this stupid ass is even proud of the idea to bow down to others!" I tell her angrily for the thousandth time.
"It's called tradition! One that your stupid ass doesn't appreciate enough! We could have taken over anytime we wanted, but we gave them the illusion of power!" he throws back my way.
"The illusion of power?! Are you an idiot!" I retort.
"Are you one?!" he snaps back.
"If I am, it's only because I inherited it from your stupid arse!" I throw back.
"I've fucked your momma's momma! You stupid shithead, you think I'm beyond fucking you?" he says angrily.
"Great feat, old timer! She was misled by your looks and didn't realize your rotten character!" I reply. While we're throwing insults, we don't see that Granny has taken out her wand and has an overcharged Cruciatus ready for both of us. Pain is a good mentor.
Never provoke a woman's wrath. But all this pain because the sack of old bones is stupidly clinging to something we should have gotten rid of centuries ago!
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票