章節 3796: Chapter 2915: Chaos of Bats (Part 2)
It was inopportune, to say the least, that in such a situation, the only one bold enough to speak up was that son-of-a-bitch.
"Must be nice," they heard him say, "it sounds like you're not too busy, having so much time to spend with the kids. I'm less fortunate, juggling multiple roles, those little bastards have been left to run wild."
Batman raised an eyebrow and said, "How many children do you have? Judging by your age, Tim shouldn't have arrived yet, should he?"
"No Damian," Bruce replied. "But Dick, Jason, and Tim are all here."
Batman was visibly surprised and said, "Are you serious? How old are you this year?"
"I've mastered the art of staying young," Bruce said with a smug look. "You definitely won't believe me if I say I'm under 30, but I think it's a subjective matter. In order to achieve my goal of obtaining a PhD before turning 30, I am, as of now, 29."
He spoke in a madcap manner, somewhat incoherent, but Batman was still intrigued. "Indeed, you look quite young. I guess you have a skincare routine. But I can't bring myself to do what Talya described, something like lying on a surgery bed. Maybe looking a bit older adds to the gravitas, right?"
"Perhaps," Bruce nodded and said, "Ever since these punks started high school, they stopped seeing me so much as a father. Just the other day, Dick was asking me for relationship advice."
Batman's eyes widened and he leaned in to ask, "Your universe's Dick is in a relationship? Who with?"
"A female wizard," Bruce recalled. "What was her name... Rachel, I think?"
"Not Barbara?"
"Unfortunately, in our universe Barbara hasn't been born yet," Bruce said. "Gordon has only just won back his girlfriend. I think they've still got a long way to go."
Batman seemed genuinely shocked and said, "You mean to say that in your universe, Oracle might end up being the youngest kid?... My god, she would make your best sweetheart."
"I don't think so, I have a daughter, and sweet is not quite the word I'd use for her, she has never really been sweet-hearted since she was born," Bruce shook his head, sighed and said, "Her name is Aisha, you might run into her later."
Batman's eyes lit up and he leaned even closer, saying, "Really? You have a daughter? Your own flesh and blood?"
"As blood-related as can be... Don't ask me who her mother is, for now, just pretend it's Selina," Bruce cut off Batman's line of questioning.
"Got any pictures?"
Bruce pulled out his phone and began to flip through it, which wasn't much necessary since it was mostly filled with pictures of Selina and Aisha.
"Wow," Batman let out a genuine exclamation of awe, and all the Batmen couldn't help but look over.
Aisha and Bruce were cut from the same cloth, especially as she got a bit older, they looked identical. Nobody would believe she wasn't Bruce's if someone said otherwise.
"Looks like we'll soon be welcoming a new heroine," Batman said with a smile. "Hopefully not a world-class thief."
"Thieving's a bit too complicated for her."
"Well, she is still so young."
"...My point is, she has more direct methods," Bruce added thoughtfully. "If you ever run into her, make sure to have several armors ready."
The other Batmen dismissed his words as more madness, but the Primary Universe Batman couldn't help but think of his Robins' gear and armor, marked by not-so-friendly teeth imprints.
"Did you just mention graduating with a PhD?" Batman looked somewhat interested. "What's your major? You haven't graduated yet? I recall having two PhDs by the time I was 18."
"That's different," Bruce waved his hand dismissively. "My field of study is a bit..."
"...Quite ordinary," the Primary Universe Batman had somehow slipped into their conversation from the shadows. "Nothing but psychology."
Bruce narrowed his eyes slightly and said, "Do you have a PhD in psychology?"
"Don't you?" replied the Primary Universe Batman.
"I... Of course, it's coming up soon."
"How much longer will you be postponing it this time?"
"That's not postponing!" Bruce nearly jumped up, his voice rising in defense. "Just a minor miscalculation of the required course hours!"
"Miscalculation of an entire year?"
"Batman, are you asking for a fight?!"
The Primary Universe Batman withdrew his gaze and said, "It seems you haven't realized the crisis you're in now—how long do you think your Robins have before earning their PhDs?"
Bruce froze in place, and the Batman next to him started calculating. "Dick doesn't seem too fond of studies; he's unlikely to pursue a PhD. As for Jason, it's hard to say; although he's impatient with school, if he's free, he might go for something like a degree in literature or history. Tim is bound to have a high education; perhaps he'll earn a double PhD in finance and management."
"Four years for an undergraduate degree, three years for a master's, another three for a PhD... I think they'll graduate around age 27 or 28 since these fields are always easier to produce scholarly works in. Didn't you just say you're already 29?"
"I'm only tentatively 29 years old! But I could also be 28, or even 27, and if I said I was 22 right now, who would dare to disbelieve?"
The two Batmen sized him up simultaneously, the Primary Universe Batman clicked his tongue, the other shook his head.
"You haven't realized that a person who has got a PhD can't pretend to be an undergraduate," the Primary Universe Batman pointed out sharply. "That kind of fatigue from academic pressure distinctly separates you from the innocent college students."
Bruce slammed his hand on the table, and the two Minifigures sitting on it cried out, "Hey, don't do that, Bruce. It's a normal life experience, there's no need for age anxiety. Isn't it normal to graduate with a PhD at 30 anyway?"
"The biggest problem is that he's definitely older than 30," the Primary Universe Batman said ominously. "Another downside of an unchanging appearance is that even if you're 50 now, nobody would know."
The other Batmen immediately cast surprised looks.
"I am not that old!"
"But you're always playing young," the Primary Universe Batman noted. "I have to say, your professor wouldn't be worrying about a doctoral thesis at your age, would he?"
Bruce sucked in a breath through gritted teeth; he sighed deeply, crossed his arms, and looking at the Primary Universe Batman, said, "It seems you've been quite idle lately, do you need me to find you some trouble?"
"Don't misunderstand," the Primary Universe Batman replied. "I just have a consistent distrust of Magic."
"It seems you two are old acquaintances," said the rather sunny Batman with a smile. "Would you tell me about it? I'm also interested in learning about the situation in the Multiverse."
"It's a long story..."
"I'll start!" Bruce glared at the Primary Universe Batman and said, "I'm best at making long stories short."
"Well, you go ahead," the Primary Universe Batman lifted his chin.
Bruce cleared his throat, and all the Batmen turned their attention to him.
"Recently in the Multiverse—nothing's happening! Meeting adjourned!"
Bruce raised his arm, heaved a sigh as if about to turn and leave, but none of the Batmen shifted their gaze.
"Why are you looking at me like that? I'm stating facts!"
"How do you know?" asked one of the Batmen.
"I'm the president of the largest dark organization in the Multiverse, how would I not know?" Bruce leaned against a nearby table, resting his cheek in his hand as he said, "Recently there have been no projects to invade the Multiverse, so doesn't that mean nothing's happening?"
"What about Heaven?" the Primary Universe Batman inquired.
"Same old, same old," Bruce rolled his eyes and said, "Angels shedding feathers, God missing, Holy Spring no bathing, Eden no nesting."
Realizing Bruce was beginning to spout nonsense again, the Primary Universe Batman cut him off and then asked, "Have you found your own cosmos in the replica? Are you sure it's now capable of withstanding an invasion?"
This topic made Bruce sigh again; he said, "That's related to my doctoral thesis, but you're right; the academic pressure makes me feel exhausted..."
"You only get one chance to reveal the truth," the Primary Universe Batman was not fooled by his banter, he said, "And I only give you one piece of advice, someone paid a big price for it."
Bruce raised his eyebrows, his eyes darting as if guessing who it was, and then he said, "Okay, I do need a bit of collaboration from you guys, I have a plan that's not entirely ready, you'll find out when it's time."
"If it's not entirely ready, then make it mature quickly," the Primary Universe Batman stated, "Otherwise, forget about your PhD ever maturing."
Bruce muttered something but still shook his head resignedly and left, apparently going to rush his thesis, while the Primary Universe Batman watched his figure and shook his head.
Beihan came over, nudged the Primary Universe Batman with his elbow, and then said, "What do you suggest we do with these bricks you brought back? Let's get one thing straight, I won't be using them to build houses."
"We have professionals," the Primary Universe Batman looked toward the Minifigures on the table. Brick Batman, chilled by his gaze, backed away two steps, saying, "What do you want to do?"
"You must be a master builder, right?"
Brick Batman, stunned by the blunt compliment, replied, "Sort of. Without false modesty, I might be the best in the cosmos."
"Good," the Primary Universe Batman scanned the room and asked, "Anyone else good at building with blocks?"
No one answered aside from Sunshine Batman; it appeared that most Batmen didn't share the interest.
"Then the two of you are in charge," the Primary Universe Batman said, looking at them. Then he turned to Mr. and Mrs. Wayne and said, "Could you two please go back to making spare parts? The Teleportation Portal will stay open for a while, which should be enough time to transport all the necessary parts."
"How about the construction blueprints?" a Batman asked.
"That's up to you," the Primary Universe Batman looked toward Brick Batman.
"It's up to you."
Inside the hamster cage, the brick Joker saw only a row of expectant gazes hovering overhead.
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