章節 110: Emotional Discovery (18+ Light NSFW)
I had been sitting on the roof of the central tower considering my actions and own problems. You could equate my teleporting away as a sulking session and you would be right... For some reason their pissed off lecturing just sent me spiralling. I sighed deeply as i felt the sunlight absorbing into my skin, my skin becoming slightly luminescent. Feeling that i had done something wrong to them I slowly stood up my feelings still mixed and my heart still hurting somewhat. 'Why do i have to be so useless sometimes?'
I teleported down into the residence that we all shared. I tried to stabilize my facial expressions but admittedly i didn't have much confidence in my attempts. Appearing in the kitchen i quickly noticed a darker more mood lit room. I frowned slightly at the situation as i then began to hear the footsteps of someone walking down the hallway.
Turning my head i quickly noticed Jean dressed up nicely in a beautiful rose embroidered white dress that draped down to the floor and glided across the soft 'wooden' floor.
"Emelia... I am sorry for before." She swept up to the front of me before softly embracing me, her curves being cloaked behind the white dress leaving a lot to my imagination until her decently large breasts pressed into my own bringing a faint heat to my body.
It was at this moment that i felt a spatial opening forme behind me. I turned to looked and saw Illyana dressed purely in a grey cloak of energy that softly drifted around the main parts of her body. She hugged my back and softly snuggled up to me.
'What the fuck? Wasn't i in trouble earlier, what the fuck is with this sudden change?'
"It is because we realised the mistakes we have made... We took for granted your protection and kindness and have been too selfish. Our relationship is a back and forth, we need to support each other and now, we will make up for our earlier mistake."
Oceana walked out from the balcony of the room, her body completely naked and framed by the light of the sun, the coolness of the room bringing her nipples to attention as her bright cyan eyes stared me down as a lustful smile emerged from her.
"Yes, we have to make it up to you... Please let us..." Jean whispered into my ear as Illyana started to lightly cup my breasts from behind.
"Mmm, let us help you relax and feel better about yourself."
I was sweating internally as heat began to build within my navel, electric feelings radiating from my breasts as Illyana massaged them.
"B-but wasn't it my fault?"
"Emelia... When you came back we were emotional... We didn't want to hurt you at all, it seems we affected you quite a lot."
"Yes, we let our insecurities become your burden, we don't want you to stop being you."
"Mhm, we don't want our sweetheart scared of doing anything because of us... You are way too capable for that to happen."
The three of them tag teamed a speech as they began to delicately explore my body, softly kissing my neck and body as they slowly and methodically guided me towards the bedroom.
'Me? Capable? Wasn't i stupid for doing what i did? I was, definitely was.'
"N-no it was my fault i should be more considerate, you all love me and i can't throw myself into things without discussion and communication, especially since i tend to overthink things and not fully comprehend everything."
I saw a few saddened and sympathetic looks from my lovers as they cuddled and kissed me. It seemed that they took pity on me. 'I don't need pity, I don't deserve it.'
"Emelia... you are worth everything to me. You saved me from a living nightmare and the tortures of an insane man who was hellbent on turning me into some evil force to suit his plots... You are worth every bit of love and affection and deserve our unconditional trust."
I looked at Illyana as she hovered slightly, her face right next to mine as she finished her words, her next action being a deep kiss on the lips.
"Emelia, i may not have had a long relationship with you in comparison to Illyana or even Oceana... But, you saved me from an entity that was for all intents and purposes way above your level. You willingly sacrificed your well being for a woman that you were merely courting. From that moment you had my love and trust, unfortunately i betrayed those feelings the moment i snapped at you for your achievements... I hope you can forgive me and accept my eternal vow to never betray those feelings again."
"N-no! don't do that because..." I trailed off as a white-blue light cascaded from my now permanent Rinnegenkugan eyes, binding her words to my Virtue of Honesty. Jean cocked her head and smiled cutely as the light passed through her and then returned to sit within her body.
'Too late... Am i really 'that' worth it for them? Aren't i a failure, didn't my mother say i was a failure?'
The thin veneer that was my inner insecurities at the time slowly became visible to me as the relief washed over me at the discovery of what had been so wrong within me all along. I felt an urge to purge the problems with my spell but that was quickly disrupted by Oceana.
"Big sis... You and I always had fun in our minds, joking, communicating, having jabs at each other... But out of all this I couldn't see the obvious signs of your hurting despite being right there, until you came back and disappeared, when we unknowingly hurt you. I am so sorry Big sis, i never noticed your insecurities and problems, until it was too late and we had exacerbated them. I swear, on my life, that i will forever be on your side... No matter what you do, what you want to do or how you do it, till death do us part."
Another flash of white-blue light washed over my Oceana, my little sis from when I was struggling. A dull pain was being poked at as my chest hurt from all of this sudden upheaval in my emotions. Flashes of being bullied at school for being tomboyish, the rush of hatred being projected onto me from my own mother who was suffering from my father's lack of attention. The feeling of inadequacy and lack of care, as i considered doing a final leap, only to be diagnosed with cancer days later and stopped from making that leap by the very mother who saw me as nothing but a blight. Forced to sit in a bed, incapable of ending my suffering, it broke me and i hadn't even realised the problem until now. The stupidity, the going with the flow, the blatant lack of survival instinct within myself, it was all my mental sickness and trauma, something that i had wanted to help other people with through my spells but never considered that I'd need it because i thought what i had went through was the norm.
"M-maybe I-I'm not useless...?"
Like the flashing of that light in the vision a pulse of feeling hit me, a deep seeded pain, washing through my body. Tears came to my eyes and refused to stop as I basically dropped into the hold of my women's arms. The pain was dreadful, more so than the physical pain of my ascension. I relived the worst moments in my life, the abuse, the criticism, the self hate and the suicidal thoughts i had sheltered and kept alive in my new life. I was broken. I could acknowledge that now. I needed to heal and they were offering me the chance. Using my spell i could get rid of this pain, these emotions and make it so they don't affect me but i felt that if i were to do that i would lose myself, them and my new life, forever... And i wouldn't let anything do that.
"I love you all... Please never leave me!"
Torrents of tears streamed down my face as I dropped to my knees, the trio following me down to the ground and showering as much love as they could onto me. I simply cried and could not stop.
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Decided to do this chapter to help alleviate the boredom of waiting... Hope you enjoy... (I know it gets a little emotional and possibly cringey but i wanted to fully reveal the depth of her personality somewhat, or at least as i see it and showcase some of why she acted the way she did in the beginning and throughout the story.)
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