章節 14: I'll make my efforts worth it (Zhou Xian)
Three months later.................
It's only been like two weeks since we officially debuted. They say you need to work really hard in this field. But we kind of got easy fame, that is what everyone talking about. But only we know how much we had to sacrifice to debut. More than 8 hours of training, school, attending various show, performing at broadcasting stations and what not. Am I already regretting everything? Do I even have time for regretting?
"Ian, what are you doing? We're up next." Doyun yells.
"I'm sorry I'm just tired. We gave an interview just now. I'm sorry, I'm ready." Xian says.
We all get ready to get on stage. We start dancing to the music. Me, Jun hyung and Haru hyung we go to front for our rap part. But then suddenly everything around me gets blurry and dark. The last thing I remember before fainting was Haru hyung holding me before I hit the ground and Doyun hyung yelling my name.
When I finally open my eyes I find myself at a hospital cabin with a cannula attached to my hand. I try to sit up but my head feels so heavy. I feel so uneasy. I try to call for someone but words just won't get out of my mouth. Just then someone enters the cabin. My vision is still a bit blurry so I couldn't quite get who it is.
"Ian? Oh my god. You're finally awake." Doyun hyung says worridly.
"Doyun hyung? Is that you? What happened?" I try sitting up again but fail to do so.
"Wait let me up the bed and call the doctor. You've been out for 3 hours."
After examining me the doctor said I'm good to go now but told me to come for a weekly check-up no matter how busy I am also take few days off and rest because things might get real bad for me. Doyun hyung requested Eun hyung to request for my break even though I opposed. Eventually my company announced that very day that I'll not be attending any of the shows with the group for a while and will be on a break for a while.
Not everyone was on the same page regarding my break. People started calling me words such as 'Wimpy', 'Chicken', 'Disgrace', 'Baby', 'Softie' and so on. Reading those comments is making me feel like I really let my group down. I should've been more strong. I hate that I have this shitty condition. Not only my group I let everyone down. My family, my fans, everyone.
I've always been kind of a weak kid. Back when I was a kid I was home schooled. Because I constantly used to have bad headaches. As I grew older my condition got a bit better and my parents enrolled me in a nice private school. After passing the online audition for S.Z Entertainment, I told my parents about my wish to move to Korea for my career. My parents weren't in the situation to move countries and they didn't want me to move alone either. But they eventually gave in. I had a hard time living alone. I saw my fellow training mates giving up because it's too much pressure. But I just knew I can't give up. I chose this life. I sacrificed a lot for this, my parents sacrificed a lot for me. I just can't let them down.
Looking back I think I did let them down. I don't want to be like this. I want to be strong and be more confident. I want to be better and make my parents proud. But it seems like I'm just constantly failing.
After years I again log into my old acebook account which only a few of my classmates back in Shanghai know about. I start browsing and just then I receive a text from someone.
"Hey it's Zhou Xian from class 2 of AG Middle School right?" Says the text.
I am a bit hesitant to reply since we aren't allowed to have personal social media accounts. While I was debating whether to reply or not more texts comes from that account.
"I'm Jiang Mei. If you remember?"
"You suddenly left without saying anything."
"How are you doing?"
I finally decide to reply. It is true that I left school without informing my classmates, I didn't even told my closest friends anything. Not that I had many friends back then.
"Hey. Yes, I'm Zhou Xian. I do remember you. You were our class president." I reply
"I'm glad you remember. I heard from people that you moved to South Korea?"
"Yes." I reply shortly
"How are you doing? It's been years."
"Nothing much."
Somehow I ended up talking to Mei late into the night. After that day I kept in touch with Mei. But kept my identity secret. Talking with her I remembered where I started. I now remember my goal. I want to make my parents feel proud of me. I want to feel better of myself. I want to make my efforts worth it. And I'll make my efforts worth it.
It's been a week after that incident. And today we have another performance. I want to give it my all. I'll make sure my groupmates don't feel down because of me.
"You all ready to rock the stage?" Doyun hyung says as he stands up from his seat.
"I wan born ready." Jun hyung states.
"Can you do this Ian?" Dae hyung asks me.
"I sure can." I assure him.
We gave the performance our best. Even though we are quite famous, but we didn't get any wins. I stand there holding my breath, waiting for the MC to announce the winner.
"And for this weeks fans top choice and the champion song is 'Omega' by 'Megaverse'. Congratulations to Megaverse. As this is their debut song." The MC announces.
We all are taken aback by this. As being the leader Doyun hyung pulls himself together and walks up to the front to get make his speech. We all follow him behind. This is our first win as a group. And we will continue to grow together.
After that we even got the best debut song of the month and best artist of the month and kept on winning more awards. And I realized that I need to stop worrying about what others think of me. I need to stop dwelling on the past. I don't know what the future holds, the least I can do is hope for the best. But the present is what I have now and Megaverse is my present.
My constant headaches has become a lot better now that I go for a weekly checkups. I want to be better for myself, for my parents, for my groupmates, for my fans and everyone who's supporting me. And I will be.
TO BE CONTINUED ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●
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