47評論
3.47
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
are you going to make this a different story or are young going to dropped this fanfic because this fanfic has been dropped by the author of the Chinese novel
hello everyone if you want to read the i suggest you to go to mtl novel and search 'The Rise of Malfoy at Hogwarts' there is complete story to read
world building is kind of good, as author had added his own elements to the hp world, but character, and writing quality vise, it has much to be desired. the first 4 to 5 chapters had close to zero dialogue between characters, there wasn't any interaction between the characters it was a complete long monologue for the lead, it felt like a report of events, not a story, character dynamics were dull and uninteresting. for writing quality, there were some points that the author kept repeating, and there were sometimes that author explains something and goes on a tangent about another. the story has a generic plot, where the hyper competent lead chase after power, to protect himself in the dangerous world.
I enjoyed the first chapters as it seemed to be fast tracking it to the actual start of the story, but then I realised that this was how the whole story was gonna be written like. Seems almost like a check list or someone telling you detailed spoilers for each chapter. There also no talking at all, just I did this, they are cool, I'm doing this.
hello author where is sytem did it get lost in its way to world of harry potter or did it slept in so its rushing now to MC because im loaking left right up down in front and behind even loaked in past and present only future remains so is it in future??? because I dont see it anywhere else ecept amongs the tags
things just happen and theres not much personal relationships between characters, theres little to no extra world building and no new or original concepts, it's not terrible per say but I don't think it worth reading for me at least.
romance? [img=thinking][img=thinking][img=thinking][img=thinking][img=thinking][img=thinking][img=thinking][img=thinking]
🤩🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍😆😄😍🤩😄😍🤩😆😍🤩😍😆🤩🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍😆😄😍🤩😄😍🤩😆😍🤩😍😆🤩🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍😆😄😍🤩😄😍🤩😆😍🤩😍😆🤩🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍😆😄😍🤩😄😍🤩😆😍🤩😍😆🤩🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍😆😄😍🤩😄😍🤩😆😍🤩😍😆🤩🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍😆😄😍🤩😄😍🤩😆😍🤩😍😆
The translation is full of garbage. Talk about ruining my immersion and this fic is up there. Clearly the author couldn't be bothered to check whether things lined up.
Thank you for bringing us this story....This story seems very interesting........ The ony problem I see is in the translation....... I hope the author would focus on the names as even some inconsequential names can interrupt the flow of reading and ruin the beautiful experience..........Foe example Guruni should be translated to Ancient Runes.......Please consider it....
Alright, two chapters in, everything seems fine. But there's something I want to know. An OC that's the twin of an established character is a popular trope that I've often seen in HP fanfics. Have you read Hermione and the Genius Magic Formula? You're not going to go down the same route, are you?
So far everything in the story is good and the concept are interesting so the enjoyed the first two chapters and hope to see more of this story
though the romance is a little to early and the MC is getting way to powerful for a 12 year old Wizard. I still love the story and concept. (written after reading 23 chapter)
are you going to make this a different story or are young going to dropped this fanfic because this fanfic has been dropped by the author of the Chinese novel
hello everyone if you want to read the i suggest you to go to mtl novel and search 'The Rise of Malfoy at Hogwarts' there is complete story to read
world building is kind of good, as author had added his own elements to the hp world, but character, and writing quality vise, it has much to be desired. the first 4 to 5 chapters had close to zero dialogue between characters, there wasn't any interaction between the characters it was a complete long monologue for the lead, it felt like a report of events, not a story, character dynamics were dull and uninteresting. for writing quality, there were some points that the author kept repeating, and there were sometimes that author explains something and goes on a tangent about another. the story has a generic plot, where the hyper competent lead chase after power, to protect himself in the dangerous world.
I enjoyed the first chapters as it seemed to be fast tracking it to the actual start of the story, but then I realised that this was how the whole story was gonna be written like. Seems almost like a check list or someone telling you detailed spoilers for each chapter. There also no talking at all, just I did this, they are cool, I'm doing this.
hello author where is sytem did it get lost in its way to world of harry potter or did it slept in so its rushing now to MC because im loaking left right up down in front and behind even loaked in past and present only future remains so is it in future??? because I dont see it anywhere else ecept amongs the tags
things just happen and theres not much personal relationships between characters, theres little to no extra world building and no new or original concepts, it's not terrible per say but I don't think it worth reading for me at least.
romance? [img=thinking][img=thinking][img=thinking][img=thinking][img=thinking][img=thinking][img=thinking][img=thinking]
🤩🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍😆😄😍🤩😄😍🤩😆😍🤩😍😆🤩🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍😆😄😍🤩😄😍🤩😆😍🤩😍😆🤩🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍😆😄😍🤩😄😍🤩😆😍🤩😍😆🤩🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍😆😄😍🤩😄😍🤩😆😍🤩😍😆🤩🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍😆😄😍🤩😄😍🤩😆😍🤩😍😆🤩🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍😆😄😍🤩😄😍🤩😆😍🤩😍😆
The translation is full of garbage. Talk about ruining my immersion and this fic is up there. Clearly the author couldn't be bothered to check whether things lined up.
Thank you for bringing us this story....This story seems very interesting........ The ony problem I see is in the translation....... I hope the author would focus on the names as even some inconsequential names can interrupt the flow of reading and ruin the beautiful experience..........Foe example Guruni should be translated to Ancient Runes.......Please consider it....
Alright, two chapters in, everything seems fine. But there's something I want to know. An OC that's the twin of an established character is a popular trope that I've often seen in HP fanfics. Have you read Hermione and the Genius Magic Formula? You're not going to go down the same route, are you?
So far everything in the story is good and the concept are interesting so the enjoyed the first two chapters and hope to see more of this story
though the romance is a little to early and the MC is getting way to powerful for a 12 year old Wizard. I still love the story and concept. (written after reading 23 chapter)