章節 21: Beat, Fall, Buckle
He had been looking for his rival.
Not for a fight, of course. It was too soon.
Issei Hyoudou had potential, but he had started way behind Vali. It would be years before he would be fun enough to challenge.
More than that, Ddraig was simply not the mountain he once was. Albion's rivalry remained, but Vali had a different goal.
Still, that didn't mean the Red Dragon Emperor wasn't worth noticing. Vali had only gotten a distant look at the boy during the Kokabiel incident, so getting a better understanding of the reincarnated devil was worth some time.
Besides, Vali was bored.
Azazel was wandering around town, making a nuisance of himself while waiting for the conference, and Vali had time to kill.
So he had gone looking for his 'destined rival.'
Instead, Vali found a boy on a bench.
It took a long second to realize what he was looking at.
Who he was looking at.
Long black hair that reached past the boy's shoulders. Pale and thin, the boy's clothes hung off his frame loosely. Thick white bandages wrapped the top half of his head, covering everything from the bridge of his nose to his forehead. Those unfamiliar factors threw Vali off.
Then he saw the cane with its two stylized wings as the figure turned to face the White Dragon Emperor.
"Hello, Vali."
Vali saw red.
The half-devil seethed, launching forward and punching the boy across the jaw with his full strength.
Eren's jaw shattered. Teeth, bone and blood exploded as the enter bottom half of the boy's head was torn from his skull.
He went flying, body spinning with the force, as he was thrown from the bench to crash into a nearby tree, shattering it and the two others behind it.
Vali did not let up. He chased.
He was on the boy in an instant.
How dare he.
Vali continued to hammer into the insate body below him.
How fucking dare you be here. Here!
[Vali!]
After everything he did, he didn't get to just show up! [Vali!] He was going to tear this bastard to pieces! Today was the day's final kick his ass.
[VALI!!!]
"WHAT?" Vali growled as he continued to pummel away.
[Look at him!]
Albion's voice cut through the haze of rage, and Vali looked at the boy below him.
Vali hadn't focused on hitting one place in particular but rather on hurting the boy in any way he could.
Eren's shirt was gone, and his chest was a bloody smear along the ground, a hollow bowl in the shape of a torso. Delicate human organs had pulped and ran with bone in a disgusting slurry. His arms were bent in unnatural angles, bone peaking out through the skin.
He didn't look alive.
"What?" Vali asked in disbelief, stumbling away from the body. He was covered in blood and viscera. "That... this is fake. It has to be. Where are you, Eren!?" He shouted, looking around the woods. "Very funny. You tricked me again! Now come out here and fight ME!"
[Vali,] Albion said, his voice gentle. [That is him. It wasn't a trick.]
"It has to be," Vali insisted, even as he looked at the bloody mush that was starting to waft steam. "If it wasn't, he would have stopped me. He would have... done something! This has to be planned. A trap."
[It could be,] Albion said, but Vali heard the doubt in his voice. [Some sort of long play. The Titan is good at that.]
"Right," Vali took a deep breath, regaining his calm. He smelled the gore. "He better have a plan. Or I really will kick his ass."
Vali ignored the seed of fear in his heart.
Instead, he walked back toward the pile of blood and bone in the vague shape of a man, grabbed the head by the hair and roughly dragged it back toward the bench.
If he bumped into roots and rocks along the way, well, accidents happen.
With a careless throw, he dropped the carcass in the sunlight as he took a seat on the bench.
It was incredibly uncomfortable.
It was like the wood and nails were all positioned to make it as annoying to sit on without hurting people. Grabbing the cane from where it had fallen, Vali drew the sword.
It was a fresh blade, he could tell. Eren had changed it recently. But apart from that, it was the same as when Eren first got it. The same crossed wings painted white and blue. The same hidden trigger to eject and replace the blade.
Vali sat there, idly playing with the cane as the bloody body reknit itself into something vaguely human-shaped. Steam continued to billow, dissipating in the morning sun.
It took a while. Over an hour.
That was much too long.
The seed of fear in Vali's heart grew, but he ignored it. He was wrong. Vali had to be wrong.
It was lucky that nobody came to investigate. The devils were still in school, and the security forces had already combed this area, or they would have seen what looked like a brutal murder scene.
A finger twitched against the dirt.
"Why didn't you use Touki?" Vali demanded instantly as soon as Eren's jaw healed.
"Hello Vali," Eren rasped, voice gravely as he lay on the ground. With one trembling hand, he reached over and re-broke his other arm, lining it up so it would heal correctly.
"Answer the question." Vali's hand tightened on the cane.
"You took me by surprise." It was Eren's usual voice. Dead. Void of emotion. Even as he took his properly healed arm and realigned the other, he emoted no more than usual.
Vali closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had been right.
Satans, damn it, he didn't want to be right.
"How is that possible?"
Eren didn't answer, steam continuing to waft from his body as he healed. With a painful effort, he sat up and rose to his feet.
Vali got a good look at him then.
His long hair was matted with dirt, blood, and wood from tree fragments. Eren was still taller than the half-devil by an inch or so. He still had muscles, meaning he hadn't let himself go completely, but they were much thinner than they used to be.
His skin was also paler, like he wasn't getting enough sun. The bandages around his eyes had shifted, revealing the deep groves in his skin below them. They were half dyed with blood.
Eren adjusted the bandages to cover his upper face again as, with slow steps, he walked to the bench and fell back on it with a grunt.
Vali asked the second question, the one he hoped Eren wouldn't answer.
"How long do you have left?"
"Less than a year."
The same matter-of-fact voice.
"Damn it," Vali cursed, standing from the bench and starting to pace. "Damn it!" He punched another tree, rendering it to pulp.
He was very careful not to damage the cane.
"Clean that up before you leave. And I told you already," Eren said, and for once, there was something in his voice. It was softer. Almost kinder. "When we first met."
"That doesn't make it better!" Vali snapped. "You're the Satan-damn Titan! You don't get to die of some fucking sickness! You don't get to waste away alone! There has to be something we can do. Anything!"
"There isn't," Eren said simply. "It is not something that can be cured. As soon as I was born, I had an expiration date."
"Let me tell Azazel," Vali urged. "He'll figure something out."
"No," Eren denied simply. "He won't. What's wrong with me is not something this world can handle. And if you tell him, the plan fails. Tell him everything else, but not about me."
"Screw the plan!" Vali denied. "I will get my revenge myself. The bastard has lasted this long. He'll last long enough for me to grow stronger. But you aren't allowed to die. Not before I can beat you."
"I told you," Eren repeated, his voice almost amused. "You'll never beat me."
"I thought you were bragging," Vali laughed hollowly, collapsing on the bench. Still damn uncomfortable. "That you were stronger than me. I wanted to punch you so damn hard."
"You just did," Eren said. "Count that as your victory."
"No," Vali spat. "If I can't beat you at your best, it doesn't count." Taking a deep breath, the White Dragon Emperor recentered himself for the second time in as many hours. Eren could always get under his skin. "Why are you here, Eren?"
"This bench is where I'll die," Eren said.
Vali bit his lip, forcing himself to not snap again. Instead, he threw the cane at the boy.
It hit him in the leg and clattered to the ground.
Watching Eren paw around for it hollowed out Vali's heart, and he had to look away.
"Kuroka cried."
The cane clattered to the ground again behind him.
Those two words hurt Eren more than every punch Vali had landed, but they needed to be said.
"Is that so," Eren said softly as he bent to pick it up again. "You've been taking care of her?"
"'Taking care of her?'" Vali repeated sarcastically as he whirled and stomped back to the older boy. Grabbing Eren by his bloody shirt, Vali snarled down at him. "Listen, you blockhead. You don't get it both ways. Either you care about her, in which case you shouldn't have disappeared for OVER A YEAR!" Vali took a deep breath and said the rest quietly. "Or you don't. In which case, you can go die alone! You clearly want to. But you don't get to hand her over like a used tool. That's not how love works."
Eren didn't say anything, but he sagged in Vali's arms.
"I know," Eren eventually said, his voice mournful. "I just... she deserves better than I can give her."
"That's not for you to decide," Vali said, releasing his best friend and sitting on the bench beside him. "It's her choice who to love. And I know she would rather spend what time you have left with you than try to move on."
"I suppose I thought it would work like last time," Eren sighed. "I should have known Kuroka is different than..." Eren trailed off.
Vali knew he was thinking about the woman he used to love. The one a world away. Eren never talked about her or his former best friend, but they weighed on him.
Even after all these years.
"You could give her what she wants," Vali said, shifting the topic slightly. "Even if you die, she'll have something to remember you by."
"No." Eren denied firmly, snapping out of his funk. "I will never have children."
"Will not? Or don't want to?" Vali asked.
This was an aspect he always wanted to ask about. How much did Eren see? Despite what some might think, he wasn't perfect, and there were clear limits to his power, but there was no denying his abilities.
Where did the boundaries lie?
"Both," Eren said gravely. "I am the only one in the Path. There will never be another of Ymir's descendants in this world. And there shouldn't be. When I die, I will take this curse with me. If I did ever have children, I know what would happen. I will not allow that."
Vali wanted to ask what would happen but held off. Instead, he asked about something else.
"Why did you decide to stay here," Vali asked, running a hand to comb his hair back as he regained his usual cool. "It was a smart move. We never thought you'd hide near Shirone."
"I didn't decide," Eren shrugged. "I stopped by here to check up on her before I went looking for this bench. When I found it, I decided to stay."
"But why this bench specifically," Vali asked and then elaborated before Eren could speak. "I know you said you die here, but why is that?"
Eren remained silent for a long moment, idly rubbing his fingers along the twin wings on his cane. Eventually, he spoke.
"The Path," Eren started, then stopped and started again. "My power comes in two forms. The first is what will happen. It is me, sending my memory back to myself of what will happen. It is ironclad. Nothing I do can change. The act of sending those memories back is what determines that future. But..."
Eren struggled for words before continuing.
"My other ability connects past, present, and future. I live in all those times. It is more... open. Combined with the first ability, I see what will happen and what can happen. Both are limited to me. I cannot see anything not connected to the Path. I am the only thing connected to the Path, so I can only control my actions and might not see their consequences."
"Isn't the second ability... redundant?" Vali asked. For years, he had asked Eren about his foresight and never got an answer. Now, he couldn't help himself. "If you know exactly what will happen, why look for what can happen?"
"Because I still get to choose the future," Eren sighed, and Vali couldn't help but notice that it was almost joyful. "These two abilities were never meant to be contained within one person. And certainly not without... someone else to regulate them. It wasn't until I was reborn in this world that I could wield the second as I wished. Usually, it is limited to one bloodline that I am not a part of. I choose which future to walk and live in and then send it back to myself so I will make the same choices. A loop of my choosing. A way to determine the future of my own choice."
"So when you say there is no cure?" Vali felt despair creep up his heart.
"There isn't," Eren nodded. "No matter what future I choose, I always die. The Path ends. There is no saving me."
Vali bit his lip and turned back to the original topic.
"So coming to this bench to die is the best future?"
"It is."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"You... don't know?" Vali asked in disbelief. "You just said you see the future. Twice over!"
"I decide what I see," Eren sighed. "I have to send the memories back. If I don't, I don't know. The other part, the... Coordinate isn't optional. I always live it. Except when I am on this bench."
Vali wasn't the most accomplished devil regarding magic or enchantment. Kuroka, Le Fey, and Azazel were much better. Still, even he should have been able to feel something from the bench if it was able to prevent Eren from using his powers.
He didn't feel anything.
It was just a bench. An uncomfortable bench, but just a bench.
Instead, Vali tried to puzzle out what Eren meant when he said he wasn't seeing the 'set in stone' future.
"So, by hiding your memories from yourself, you are ensuring that future happens?" Vali guessed, and Eren nodded. "How do you know it's the best one?"
"I don't. I have to trust that my future self made the best choice. And..." Eren paused, debating whether to tell Vali something, then sighed. "In that future, I die alone. But... I am smiling."
Vali stared.
He had known Eren Yeager for almost a decade. Had seen him do things that should have been impossible. Yet, not once had Eren Yeager ever smiled.
"I am chasing that smile," Eren admitted as if confessing a sin. "Why do I look like that? I have asked myself that question for almost thirteen years. And I still don't know. I can't know. Because if I do, it will never happen. I don't know what half my actions will accomplish, but I do them anyway. All for that future. I hurt you, I hurt Kuroka, and I will hurt others just because I am trusting that future and that smile. I have to trust it. It's the only way I can move forward."
Vali felt... he didn't know what he felt.
Angry? He had every right to be angry. One of his best friends had disappeared for a year, and he didn't know why.
Should he be hurt? Was all their time together worth nothing compared to a future Eren couldn't even see?
Sympathy? There was no doubt Eren had gone through and been forced to do terrible things. He was going to die young. Eren deserved happiness.
In the end, Vali was worn down. This emotional roller coaster was not what he expected when he decided to tour Kuoh. He usually kept his emotions tightly lidded, portraying a calm, confident exterior. He wasn't cut out for these sorts of emotions.
Vali wanted to fight something.
Having regained his calm, Vali leaned back on the bench, arms spread casually as he stared at the sky.
"If I ask you to transform, will you? I could really use a good spar."
"I can't," Eren sighed. "I only have two shifts left. Each time I shift, my time shortens. Sorry."
"Damn it," Vali cursed again, but there was no heat to it. "And asking you to never shift again won't work. You're on that 'path' of yours."
"I need to," Eren nodded sadly. "If I don't, I can't keep my word to you, Kuroka, or any others. And yes, that is part of the future I want. If the plan fails... Not all the futures I see are good ones."
Vali realized then. The price Eren paid to choose his own future. He had to see what could be.
If Vali could see anything and everything that could happen to himself, would he be able to handle it?
If Vali could see the future where he failed, where he died, where those he loved had atrocity after atrocity inflicted on them, could he remain sane?
If he was always aware of how close he was to failure, and its price, could he do anything?
The memories of his mother already tore at Vali. Seeing that every day, every second, would he be able to walk forward?
[You've changed, Titan.] Albion said, manifesting the white wings below Vali's clothes to talk with the boy.
"In what way?" Eren asked with a tilt of his head.
[You are softer.] Albion answered, but it didn't sound like an insult. [When we met, you were like a dog on a leash. Rabid, wanting to tear the world apart. But directed. The rage I felt isn't gone. But it is not everything anymore. Even if you do not have the smile you want, you are more emotive than you ever were before you left. A year ago, you would not have told us all this.]
"It is the bench," Eren nodded. "While I sit on it, part of my power is limited. I can't see anything. Not the past or the future. While I sit on the bench, I am blind."
"That's how I surprised you," Vali grinned. "Not going to lie, that felt good. You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."
"I think I do," Eren said dryly.
[You are like Ddraig and I.] Albion rumbled. [It is only when we were confined within our prison that we were able to let the haze of rage dissipate. It will never leave us, but we now see a world we were blind to.]
"I am not..." Eren paused as if Albion's words surprised him more than Vali's attack. "You are right. I have changed. Thank you, Albion. You just answered one of my questions about my Path."
[Just remember your promise.]
Vali felt his Sacred Gear retract, leaving him alone with Eren again.
They sat there in companionable silence for a long while.
"You will stay here?" Vali eventually asked.
"Until it is time," Eren nodded. "I still have a meeting to wait for."
"I'm going to tell Kuroka." Vali watched Eren's face for any sign of disagreement. If Eren tried to stop him, he would punch him again. The other boy simply nodded. "That won't mess up your 'path'?" Vali asked sarcastically.
He still wasn't over the fact that Eren had left them for over a year.
"I honestly don't know," Eren said with a shrug of his shoulders. "I can't see anything while on the bench. I don't know if I will do something to destroy my future myself, or if meeting you here already did that. But I don't think trying to stop you telling her will ruin anything."
"Why not? You won't let me go to Azazel."
"Because the leaders of the three factions can't know about my abilities. That would ruin the plan and accomplish nothing," Eren said softly. "But if you truly did that, I wouldn't stop you. I simply offer a choice. I will never fight for a future where my friends aren't as free as I am."
"Even if it will ruin your plan?"
"If the only way for you to be free is to stand against me? So be it."
Vali did end up cleaning his mess with a spell before he left. It was easy for the Lucifer descendent. The little park looked as pristine as he found it.
He also gave Eren one last punch for good measure.
Then he left.
He'd see Eren again when it was time.
Until then, he had no desire to watch the man he considered a big brother waste away on the bench.
創作者的想法 
ReadingDangerously
ReadingDangerously Hoo boy. I think the last chapter was the single most divisive thing I've ever written. I sure got a lot of responses. I will stick with it, though. Unlike other writers, I only publish something once I know how it will end. I appreciate feedback, advice, and even ideas, but by the time a story is released, I generally do not change it based on fan response. That way, it maintains cohesion.
I am not surprised by the response. Mikasa is an increadibly divisive character, perhaps even more than Eren. I won't give my thoughts one way or the other here, but I will say: One, I don't plan to drag things on; two, just as Eren is post-Rumbling, so is Mikasa from after the ending. As I mentioned in the first chapter, this story follows canon as closely as possible. Including the parts some people will not like. That is the only way it can be the continuation and closure I want from it.
About this chapter, I admit to leaning a lot more about later volumes of Vali's character. He simply doesn't get much characterization in the early seasons/light novels. Also, the explanation of the Attack Titan and Founding Titan is incomplete; it is just what Eren wanted to tell Vali. More will be explained later.
Though the ability to see 'possibilities' is canon. That's how Eren saw what the cabin he'd share with Mikasa if they ran away together. The Attack Titan works on memories, so it is what 'Will Happen,' because they've already happened, there is no escaping it. The Founding Titan sees what 'Is Happening and Has Happened,' not the future. Only when they are combined (in Ymir and Eren) do you get the omniscience and timeless view that trapped Eren. Otherwise, all of the Founder's hosts would have been able to see the future of the Rumbling.
Anyway, I hope this has answered a few questions (and given a few more) and I will see you next time on the bench.
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票