章節 28: From Innocence to Experience: A Journey of Self-Discovery in Love, Lust and Pain
Ever since I had practiced that little deception on Miss Rozy by attributing to her embraces the evident distraction I was in on the day of Mr. Kalson's return, she had increased her pressure on my person and could not help but feel my stiff prick throbbing against her thigh while she closely pressed my body against it with her arm.
I often noted the increased sparkle of her eyes and changes of color on her face when she kissed me, and I put up my hand and caressed her cheek.
At times she would push me suddenly away and beg me to resume my seat; frequently she would quit the room in an agitated manner, till this led me to suppose that an internal conflict was going on and that passion urged one course, reason another.
Remembering the wise advice given to me by my loved and beautiful mistress, Mrs. Kalson, I resolved to play the part of an innocent ignoramus and let her own passions develop and produce the result I so longed for.
I doubt if I could have held out, but for the relief I found in dear Suzy's embraces, who, each time we could manage to meet, became more and more attractive and more capable of giving and receiving pleasure.
We had some difficulty keeping Shine blind to our actions.
At last, Suzy agreed to initiate her into gamahuching and to tell her I did so to her when we shut ourselves up together, and that if she would keep the secret, I would do the same to her, but that it was necessary that one should keep watch while the other amused herself with me, for fear Miss Rozy should have a chance to come.
Suzy proceeded to gamahuche her, which delighted Shine beyond measure; indeed, although a year and a half younger, she speedily showed a development of passion superior to Suzy.
At first, I only gamahuched her, letting her play with my prick as I did so, but not attempting to instruct her in the art of insertion into her charming little quim, which already showed symptoms of a hairy growth on her well-formed and very prominent mount.
When I had done enough in this way, Suzy, who had previously been fucked by me, returned, and Shine took up the watch while I appeased in Suzy's deliciously tight cunt the thirst that gamahuching Shine had raised.
It was thus that I could more coolly await the gradual approximation that Miss Rozy's evident passion for me was bringing about.
That she struggled against it was evident, but passion was gaining the advantage, as was shown by her nervous tremblings and sudden clutches, drawing me up to her parched lips and sometimes pushing me away with a shudder that shook her frame and paled her lovely cheeks.
I fancied that nature had been too much for her on these occasions, and that in reality, the sudden clutching was the approach of love's crisis, and that when she shuddered and suddenly repulsed me, she was discharging.
It was evident this could not continue. At last, the happy day for which I so longed arrived.
Mamma was going to go to the town, taking my two sisters with her, to get something or other for them.
She invited Miss Rozy to accompany her, but the latter declined on the excuse of an alleged headache.
In truth, the violent nature of the conflict going on between her passions and her prudence had visibly affected her health; she had become pale and anxious-looking, and my mother was somewhat uneasy about her.
She told her not to occupy herself too much with my lessons that day and only give me work for an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon, and begged her to take a quiet stroll in the garden and rest as much as possible.
On leaving us, she cautioned me to be as gentle and obedient as possible, as Miss Rozy was poorly and out of spirits.
Mamma and the girls departed.
Miss Rozy, almost as pale as death and quite visibly trembling, falteringly begged me to go to our study room and study the lesson she had given me the previous evening, saying she would join me shortly.
I went, but no lesson could I do that day.
The evident agitation and apparent illness of Miss Rozy distressed, if not alarmed, me; I was still too inexperienced in her mind.
It was a phase of women's nature that I had as yet no knowledge of.
I had merely a vague kind of idea that it all tended to the ultimate gratification of my libidinous hopes, and I only held off to a certain extent in obedience to the counsel my loved Mrs. Kalson had so wisely impressed upon me and was waiting in lively hopes of the result I so ardently wished for.
At last, Miss Rozy joined me; her eyes were swollen and red as if she had been weeping; my own were filled with tears when I saw her, and I approached hesitatingly and said,Oh, my dear governess, I am so grieved to see you look so poorly.
Oh, do nothing today, and I promise to work twice as hard tomorrow."
At the moment, I really felt quite distressed by the sad expression on her face.
For an instant she smiled languidly, then, by some compulsion of feeling, she seized me in both arms and, drawing me to her bosom, covered me with kisses; her eyes became almost perfectly brilliant.
"Oh, you dear, dear, darling boy, I love you beyond expression.
Kiss, oh, kiss me! my darling! and comfort me, because I love you all too well."
Then, again, there was a change; she seemed to fear she had said too much and turned away her head, and tears started to her eyes, but her arms did not relax the embrace in which she held me.
I was deeply moved by her evident agitation. I thought she was really ill and suffering greatly, so I threw my arms around her neck, kissing her tenderly and weeping myself.
I tried to comfort her in my inexperienced way, sobbing out.
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