章節 28: Card towers are meant to fall down (5)
「"Fifth daughter."」
I remember a conversation I had with my father.
「"Why do you write stories?"」
At that time, I answered…
「"I want to write a story that can save someone."」
「"Don't just say the first thing that comes to your mind."」
After a few seconds, I had repeated myself.
「"I want to write a story that can save someone."」
Then, father had shaken his head.
「"But you are too weak to save someone."」
I had frowned.
「"Stories have nothing to do with strength."」
He had stared at me for a while, his eyes revealing no emotions.
Then, he had looked into the distance.
「"I am not speaking of physical strength."」
Compelled by rare curiosity, I had pressed him for answers.
「"What do you mean then?"」
My father always had strange opinions.
I guess that was logical given his job.
He didn't tell me the obvious things written in textbooks and repeated by the adults. On the contrary, he taught me to see the world differently.
「"Nothing is free in life."」
He taught me that a 'price' didn't only refer or apply to material things.
「"People often say that 'free kindness' doesn't exist."」
Of course, others may have a different opinion.
Some may think that we can be kind without expecting anything in return, so no price will be paid.
However, these people are wrong.
Nothing is free in life.
「"Do you know why there is no free kindness in this world?"」
And a 'price' is exacted even in a situation where someone is kind without expecting anything in return.
「"It's because if others don't pay the price, you are the one who will have to pay and take responsibility for it."」
Imagine you are kind to someone.
Don't others usually like kind people?
If you help someone without asking for anything in exchange, in most cases, you will receive that person's trust or be seen in a good light.
If you are kind again, these feelings will grow, it can also become dependance or affection if it increases.
In other words—get your manipulative thoughts out of your head and put yourself in the shoes of someone without any ulterior motives and only pure intentions, guys—if you are continuously kind, people can get very attached to you even though you didn't intend it.
Your words will have weight to them or could hurt them very easily.
You will end up having no choice staying with them because you assured them you wouldn't leave so that they wouldn't worry (even if you regret it and really want to get away from them now) and you know leaving them would break them.
They may brand you as 'kind' and expect you to act in that way, like a hero burdened by people's expectations who has to save the world.
If you are kind, you have to bear the consequences of that kindness—the responsibility that comes with it.
After all, a price always has to be paid, and if it isn't borne by others, then you are the one who has to bear it.
My father said kind people are pushovers.
After all, if one indeed has the personality to help people without expecting anything in return, their debt will accumulate. A lot of people may then expect that person to be kind and ask them for services in priority, while the person in question is unable to refuse out of kindness, for example.
A lot of people may come to like them which could create conflict between others and cause more harm than good.
Kindness may hurt someone later when it wasn't the intended effect.
Of course, I'm not saying there will necessarily be bad consequences. It depends on the personality of the ones concerned and these problems aren't common. But still.
People who remain ignorant aren't harmed due to their lack of knowledge, but instead hurt others because they are ignorant, while people in the know are hurt themselves instead.
That's what I don't like about this world.
「"Do not be kind unnecessarily."」
It's unfair.
「"Of course, I'm not saying you shouldn't be kind at all, but saving someone is part of the heavier debts in life."」
If one saves someone out of kindness, one has to bear the corresponding responsibility.
If the story you write saves someone, you are forced to continue writing it to keep them alive. Even then, if you don't write it good enough, maybe they could also die.
The life you saved becomes your responsibility.
Even though it shouldn't be the case and nothing forces you to, since you saved them and their life depends on your actions, you'll feel that it's your fault if they die.
Life and death are heavy matters.
「"You are too weak to carry that responsibility."」
Supporting me, Norwood put my arm around his shoulder.
"Climb on my back."
Not complaining, I did so.
I never expected my jest when coming here would come true, especially not in this way.
As Norwood carried me while searching for a safe spot, his endurance obviously far higher than mine, I observed our surroundings.
…Actually, it was all a blur in my head.
I frankly didn't care.
There were some buildings, some broken houses, some pools of blood where someone had previously died…
All I know was that we had to get away from this place to not become some monster's meal.
Finally, deeming us safe enough at the moment, Norwood put me down and looked at my ankle.
Then, he took out an healing potion identical to the one I received in the first scenario and poured it on my injury.
I don't understand.
Watching my ankle being healed, I opened my mouth.
"Why are you doing this?"
Why are his wasting your strength? It would be easier for him to survive if he didn't carry me.
And why was he using such a precious ressource on me?
I frowned.
"Why don't you leave me behind?"
Norwood stared at me, a calm expression on his face, and replied without hesitation.
"It's because we are friends."
I paused, watching Norwood's nonchalant attitude.
Dazed, my gaze fell to the ground, lost in thought.
"Friends, huh…"
We are friends.
***
After a while, we began walking again. Staying in one spot would only make it more likely to get surrounded by monsters again.
Thankfully, we didn't encounter many monsters on our way.
"Are you alright?"
I tilted my head at the profiler's question.
"Yes."
Norwood stared at me for a few seconds before looking forward again.
「"Author-nim, aren't people attacked by monsters too often recently? It's getting repetitive again."」
"Don't worry, we only need to hold on until tomorrow. Afterwards, the scenario will be over."
Listening to his words, I noticed a thin fog forming around us.
「"But, reader-nim…"」
As the fog thickened, I grabbed Norwood's sleeve before we could get separated.
「"Isn't it such a convenient excuse?"」
I didn't know why I was thinking of this now.
Raising my gaze, I saw his dazed eyes staring in another direction.
「Brother!」
And a voice appeared in my head.
「You were late again!」
I supposed that's what he was hearing now.
「I'm fine now.」
Maybe I should've stopped him.
However, my thoughts were overlapping with the voice in his mind.
「"Aren't people attacked by monsters too often recently?"」
「Come here.」
Norwood pursed his lips, entranced by what he was seeing.
I could distinguish a feminine figure standing in the distance, extending her arms toward him.
A figure shrouded in darkness, its shape unstable, making it impossible to see more details.
My head getting dizzy, I snapped out of it.
"N… Norwood! We entered the illusion monsters' area again, we have to leave now."
「"Aren't people attacked by monsters too often recently?"」
I pulled his sleeve, trying to make him regain his senses.
Since the fog wasn't too thick yet, he should still be able to think and act rationally.
「"Aren't…"」
I could feel it.
Norwood knew it wasn't real.
Yet, I could also feel his sadness.
He knew it wasn't rational.
He knew he shouldn't do this.
He was aware that she wasn't here, and couldn't be brought back.
Yet…
Norwood's pupils shook as he gazed at the smiling figure.
He really wanted to see her again.
「He's not attacked by a monster if he goes into the monster's arms himself, though?」
Shut up.
Norwood put his hand on my head, awkwardly patting me, and I froze, letting go of his sleeve.
Then, I tried to grab him again, realizing my mistake.
However, he had already walked away.
He advanced toward the monster and stopped in front of her.
「Brother.」
Tears filled Norwood's eyes as he saw that familiar face.
「You're here.」
Was Norwood especially weak to mental attacks?
Or was I not shown any personal illusion since reality was enough to hurt me?
I ran toward him, to stop him.
Yet, I realized once again something too late.
I still didn't know what Norwood's skill was until now.
I hadn't known Leraje's, no, Luca's skill either, nor Lou-Ann's.
I still wasn't observant enough.
I still wasn't careful enough.
Bang!
Norwood extended his hand toward the figure while I was stopped by an invisible barrier.
I couldn't help but remember this sentence.
「From now on, your friends are going to die one by one.」
"Norwood. Snap out of it."
Friends are important to me.
「"It's because we are friends."」
Maybe it was fate?
Agitated, I tried to break it, or to go around it.
I didn't have much time.
"This isn't real."
A profiler affiliated with the police.
He had to find players in the second scenario to keep them in check.
However, he was also a player.
He didn't denounce me either.
There were many ways to assemble these pieces of information.
Did the police know he was a player?
What is Norwood's goal?
"This isn't…"
However, I didn't have enough strength to break Norwood's barrier, nor did I find a way around it.
Norwood embraced the figure, even though it was a monster.
His body was pierced by long spikes coming out of the dark figure.
Then, Norwood's barrier disappeared.
The illusion as well.
I ran toward him.
Somehow, I thought this was a very pointless way to die.
Aren't you supposed to be killed while risking your life for others?
Shouldn't you sacrifice yourself instead? Shouldn't your death amount to something and at least save someone?
Shouldn't you avenge that person you care about so much?
Yet, it was also very sad.
In a way, it was a reasonable end.
Because we aren't in some drama or shakespearian tragedy.
It isn't a novel either.
We are in 'reality' right now. A place where deaths are often devoid of meaning and pointless.
And I really, really hate this reality.
I hate it for making you die.
Norwood fell down, but I was unable to catch him in time.
「At that moment, I think something inside me broke.」
Isn't it supposed to be my novel? Then why can't I do anything properly?
Why does it have to be so realistic that I can't even catch him because I'm so slow?
I should've asked him about his ability sooner.
I got on my knees in front of him, the big hole in his stomach right in front of me.
First, it was Luca, and now you too?
You should've left me behind.
What did I do wrong?
There were too many moments when it could have gone wrong so I didn't even have an answer to this question.
I stared at him, bleeding in very large amounts.
It must be painful.
I opened my inventory, but it was empty.
If only I hadn't used my healing potion.
If only he hadn't had to use his on me.
"You know…"
I stared at him with dull eyes.
"…you're supposed to stay alive to clear the scenario."
Norwood chuckled, his strength leaving him.
His skin was already turning pale at an alarming rate.
"I…"
I stayed beside him, unable to do anything else than watch him die.
I didn't know what I could do for him.
Moving him around would only increase the bleeding and there were only monsters around us—no safe place was near.
"…am so stupid…"
I remained silent, neither affirming nor denying it.
He curled his lips weakly, making a wry smile.
Even if I was able to bring him to a camp before he died of blood loss, I doubt he would be able to hold on until the end of the scenario. He needed clinical treatment.
Should I bandage him?
Who knows, I could also come across someone who possesses a healing skill?
「"I quite like the Tale of the 73rd Demon King."」
I heard monsters approaching, likely attracted by the smell of blood.
Actually, I knew what I should do.
「"It's because we are friends."」
It was very simple.
In a daze, I stared down at Norwood.
His hand was cold.
I didn't want to check his pulse.
「I wanted to save him.」
Blinking slowly, I felt a drop falling on my lap.
It wasn't raining though.
He was someone who had liked one of my novels.
My reader.
My friend.
I broke out into a smile.
A soft smile, a helpless smile, or maybe a resigned smile.
「"Are you alright?"」
I wasn't alright.
I hadn't told him yet that 'Ena' was my true name either.
「"It's useless. Others have already tried to pass through but failed."」
I thought of Lou-Ann.
「From now on, your friends are going to die one by one.」
I'm tired.
Raising my head, I saw DHB approaching us.
What perfect timing.
「"But you are too weak to save someone."」
I've got no choice but to bear that price though, father.
「"You are too weak to carry that responsibility."」
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