章節 31: Deliver us from madness

There were certain things about being part of a religious institution designed to keep children , that were nice and others were not so nice . On one hand , the children recieved free education , housing and food . They would never have to pay the orphanage back with money or with worldy possessions . But on the other hand , their lives were strict , orderly and disciplined . The freedom and joys of youth were to be crushed like a sapling before it even buds was the belief of those who looked after them . And for the care they received , the children were expected to devote their lives to their caretakers .

To respect and revere them as their saviors , those who saved them from the destitute existence that would have taken them on the streets . They were reminded of this everyday . That they should always be grateful for what was done for them . Always obey and respect those above them . And most importantly , because it was a religious institution , to seek solace in prayer .

That is why Henric was on his knees , infront of the first pew , in the almost empty chapel . It was almost empty because sisters moved through the room , checking everything for the late night Mass to come soon . They paid the boy on his knees no attention . He might aswell have been a piece of furniture . Actually , now that one thinks about it , they probably would have given him attention if he was furniture .

Henric was on his knees , with his head downcast and his eyes closed . His lips moved , uttering a silent prayer between him and his God . Sweaty beads had formed on his forehead , but he ignored them , his mind focused on speaking his heart out .

" I beg of you , God , Father , please spare me this torment . " He prayed , " I have always tried to be good , to follow and obey . And yes I have been tempted but this temptation you bring before me ... I do not believe I can conquer it . Please spare my soul , my heart and mind from the madness and sinful wishes of my flesh . I beseech you , I plead and beg before you , your humble child . The one saved by your daughter , Sister Cali , please save me . Save me from this suffering. This sinful wish that my mind has been plagued by , remove it . Free me from it ."

{ Freedom ? There is no freedom here . I have heard many zealous priests pray to gods and goddesses . They do nothing . This one is no different .} The voice of the mirror spoke inside Henric's head but he ignored it and continued to pray more vehemently .

" Temptation tries to pull me , Father . The devil whispers in my ear and is trying to sway my soul . Please save me , guide me with your will and your strength . I do not wish at all to forsake you or all that i have been taught . "

{ You've been taught ? Taught to be a fool . As are all priests . And why do you refer to me as a devil ? Have you no heart ? } The voice said sadly and Henric swallowed heavily .

He must continue , he thought strongly but before he could, the voice spoke and it's words gave him pause .

{ You detest me . You detest my actions , the ones from last night . Which means you will never let me out of my prison . You will be my captor now . }

" What ? No , I would never wish to improson anyone . " Henric whispered .

{ Laughter . You lay here on bended knees , praying to your deity for my removal . You are right , you do not wish my eternal imprisonment ... you seek my destruction .}

" No , listen . I fear I am going mad . Talking to a spirit or whatever you are . Being the only one to hear you . I can not take this anguish , this fear in my heart that you might be an illusion . Created by my mind or by a devil . " Henric said as he felt his soul break with his feelings . Truly he was afraid he was going insane .

{ Henric , why do you torment me ? Why do you seek my suffering ? } The voice said and Henric frowned in confusion .

" How are you suffering ? " He asked it .

{ Weeping . Weeping . I have been trapped for millennia , wishing to be free . As the first person to ever try to free me in years , I am grateful and sorry for your anguish . I truly have no desire to hurt you . } The voice said and Henric felt a slight brush on his cheek , { Your pain , it pains me . Your anguish , hurts me. Your tears , wound me . But ... your hatred of me , that kills me . }

" I do not hate you . " Henric said instantly .

{ But you fear me . You have been saying as much this whole time . What one does not understand , they will fear and what one fears ... they hate and seek it's destruction . } The voice continued and Henric opened his mouth to say something but was silenced by the ringing of the chapel bell . He looked around and saw it was already time to begin Mass . The children would be expected outside and he needed to join them . But as he got up and walked towards the door , he carried on talking to the voice .

" You don't know me well . I would never seem harm on anyone . Even if I did not understand them . " He whispered .

{ Words . Words . They mean nothing to me . I have heard such before . But it does not matter . } The voice said resolutely .

" What does not matter ? " Henric asked as he touched the door handle .

{ You may choose to not destroy me , as is your right and your choice . But one thing is certain , and this , neither of us can change . } The voice said and Henric heard it change from its monotonous tone to the nice voice of the boy , { I am your prisoner and you , my captor . Neither of us chose this and neither can we change this . But one thing I will change is this ; you will not suffer anguish alone . }

" What do you mean ? " Henric asked softly as he stepped into the back of the line . The other children had already come and stood outside the door .

{ Soon , I will reach out and find others who will share this burden with you . Then you will not be alone . Your suffering and anguish will shrink in size .} The boy said in Henric's mind and then he felt a touch on his shoulder and a warm breath on his ear , { I will not let you cry if I have the choice to stop it . I will help you , like you tried to help me . Maybe then ... you will be happy when I do this . }

Without warning Henric felt a warm kiss on his right cheek and he stopped breathing . The kiss was brief , but so strong , Henric almost would have believed someone was next to him , if he didn't already know there was nothing but air .

{ I will return . } The boy said and a gust of wind blew through the chapel . But instead of coming from the windows or the door , it seemed to blow from inside the room and exit throughout the openings .

The candles blew out and a Sister cried out in alarm when the room became darker . Everyone looked around themselves confused , except for Henric who stood looking at the door with his hand on his cheek . He had fear in his heart again because the sinful desire was back . He'd never felt this way before , until that ' voice or being ' kissed him last night .

What was wrong with him ? Did he need more prayer ? Would it help ?