章節 1: Chapter 1: Death And Beginning (edited)
'Well, for whoever is hearing this, that would mean that I have died and now am rotting in front of my apartment door with a neck that went with a loud snap, kind of like eating one of those hard tacos on a Sunday afternoon, yum.'
'I know, right, that it's quite pitiful to say on an off day like this Sunday evening, but just wait until you understand how it all ended for me in the first place.'
'I mean seriously, of all the times I could go outside and make it to my family's grave with flowers that I so carefully 'picked out,' there had to be a FUCKING banana peel waiting for me as soon as I got out through MY!! Apartment front door;
(A/N: newsflash: he stole those flowers from somewhere)
'Also, P.S. - To the person who so randomly put a DAMN banana peel of all things to the front of my doorstep, I have three words for you, buddy' "GO FUCK YOURSELF." 'Angry sighing!!'
'And now that's out of the way, all I can see now is nothing but ne- I mean darkness, and moving around feels completely impossible for me at the moment. Well, now I have to wait and..... accept this very moment and hope to see the faces of my loved ones again and tell them just how much they mean to me. Maximus Adolf out.'
(Unspecified amount of waiting)
'Throughout this very moment… hoping that this would be a wonderful reunion with my mother, father, and sister after six years of being unable to be with them, there had been nothing but this starless abyss surrounding me. I mean, is this all there is for me???' Maximus has never felt so betrayed by his own beliefs of heaven; the only chance he thought that could bring him to his loved ones was just a scam, a church that he has been helping out for four years and learning from and acquiring those beliefs, gave him hope to see in a second life.
Now, he even began to wonder if he had done anything to deserve this torment by staying in this darkness, deprived of the light he once unknowingly enjoyed.
All he ever wanted was to live the life that would have made them proud. He tried to keep spending time with his dear sister. He also wanted to see the faces of his parents, who had showered him with love and affection.
He dearly wanted to see their proud looks as they saw their son pass college. He cursed that banana peel, as it would rue the day of ending his pathetic life.
(A/N: maybe you shouldn't have stolen those flowers and bought them from somewhere else, you lazy fuck!?)
As Maximus was wallowing in his self-destructive thoughts, an ominous dark green glow slowly shaped itself and transformed the abyss, changing it into the same color as that dark green. What formed after was a humanoid figure glowing with unadulterated power and boundless intensity. It emitted an eerie atmosphere as its eyes shined with an otherworldly light...…. 'It looks so unbelievable, but...….. why the hell is this thing hitting the griddy while moving to me?!!???!?'
"I SAID RIGHT FOOT CREEP, OHH, I'M WALKING WITH THAT HEATER LOOK AROUND, STAY LOW, MAKE SURE THEY DON'T SEE YOU CATCH'E!!!!!...." The entity was immediately interrupted by a scream that sounded like an asylum patient who had forgotten to take his meds for five months straight.
"AHHHHHabahhhhah!!!!! GAAD DAMN IT ALL TO HELL, WILL YOU PLEASE STOOP SINGING THAT BLASTED SONG YOU SICK FUCK, I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY, THAT IF I WERE TO DEVELOP HANDS THAT I SEVeRely LACK HERE AND NOW, I WOULD START STRANGLING MYSELF SO THAT I COULD DIE AGAIN!!!!!!!!". When Maximus finally ended his little temper tantrum, the entity began to ask Maximus calmly as if his tirade was nothing significant.
"Did that make you feel better, young Adolf?" The entity's voice held a calming presence that Max hadn't felt for so long in his past life; it made him feel at peace even during times with his family, which was confusing for Maximus. Yet he was still able to gain back a bit of his composure and started with a simple question.
"W-Where is this place, and who are you??" The entity didn't have a face and only had green eyes, yet it could be felt that he was condescendingly smirking.
"Well, this place should be defined as the Inaccessible Cardinal, which should have killed you instantaneously. And also, I never had an actual name because a name has been unneeded for me." After the entity dodged his last question and only talked about the cardinal, it fell silent for a while, letting Maximus get a hold of whatever sanity he had left while trying to wonder what the hell is the inaccessible cardinal.
"Now, now, Mr. Adolf, let me make this explanation simple for you to understand. Here is a comparison between an entire omniverse, considered a grain of sand. And here is the Inaccessible cardinal, which will be considered this entire space." And what appears before Maximus was nothing at all. Maximus wanted to ensure he understood everything said, so he had to ask.
"So you are telling me that no matter how much sand with each grain, it would be considered an "OMNIVERSE!!" It will never, and I mean never, fill the entirety of the cardinal?" The being shook his head, yes.
"...….." no words could describe how much bullshit was spoken during this conversation, and the entity had to throw even more salt into Maximus and his already increasing panic.
"And what makes this even more confusing for me is that your soul was even able to bypass this place of all things, and no amount of power-setting of infinities would be even capable of constructing this cardinal, which is why it's inaccessible, and what makes this cardinal unique is that it is boundless in its truest sense. Unless you are me, but I have always been here in the first place, so that makes you unique, and even calling you unique feels insulting." At this point, Maximus was trying hard to keep control of himself. It
"Is there any way for m-me to get out of here?" When he asked, that made a bellowed laugh.
"EHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!" as he ended his laugh, albeit impossible to tell what else he was thinking about because it had no face and those piercing eyes, he finally said to Maximus with an audible sigh.
"Now, that is a straightforward thing to do, but I feel that there are some other things you want to ask me before leaving here, isn't that right???" The energy-based entity beckoned Maximus to stay a bit longer, and Maximus couldn't help but ask.
"M-My family, w-why couldn't I join t-them?!" He had to ask while still having that desire to join them.
"Well..... now here's the thing about your family, they were never dead in the first place and were isekai'd to another world to save that world kingdom, and also.... if your soul were to land into heaven, everything there would cease to exist and you would have gave Jehovah an aneurysm, and you would have to face a rage that can only be seen from even before the old bible testament."
As soon as Nirrotho dropped that bomb on Maximus, who had to live by himself for the past six years, living an everyday life that he never truly enjoyed, the rest of his family were out in another world, probably adventuring and fighting with their cheats They probably have with them, but... Maximus still wanted to ask if they were alright out of his shaky attachment towards them, and he now believes that maybe heaven wasn't for him after all...….
"Are...… are they ok, Mr.??? What should I call you?" Now, Maximus thought it would be rude not to give this entity a name for better communication.
The entity formed a demented smile on its face, and its original green color transformed into the deepest color of black. The initially green scenery turned back to its original void setting, forming around the entity akin to a thick grey fog.
The only thing that could be seen from the entity was a set of deep red colored eyes that made Maximus flinch for the very first time in his life...… finally through the moment of unnerving silence. The entity said, "Well, I do have many nicknames. You don't honestly see me, but I am here... and I know that you are looking for answers to your questions; you are looking for knowledge, and not just the knowledge of your family.
You genuinely want to have infinite knowledge, and if it is not knowledge that you are looking for, it is power or maybe even both. Ever since you gazed upon others for your desires, you have been thirsty for power. These two notions are only words like any other, such as love, infinite, death, life, and thought….
You who believe yourselves to be all-powerful when you gain all of those desires make you consistently poor for these ignorant people....
Poor, unreal things that consider themselves to be absolute don't even know that logic has never existed because, in the end, you say you are all-powerful when gaining it.
Still, in the end, your existence was created without your knowledge by a simple human named author, and you follow without knowing your role given by this one. I'll tell you what I like about it.
It's watching you, reading you, or creating you while delighting in a word called "ignorance."... But you may contact me, Nirrothos, if that makes you more comfortable." Now after listening to Nirrothos for what felt like an eternity for poor Maximus as he tried his best not to piss his nonexistent pants or even nonexistent body out of fear.
Our flawed character isn't doing fine right now after Nirrotho's theatrics, as he hasn't met anything sentient for who knows how long, and the rest he had met were accidentally murdered through what he calls 'accidents.'
(A/N: please insert trollge picture here as Nirrothos not only dissed the entirety of fiction protagonists, he also scared Adolf, too)
Everything was back to normal; the green atmosphere came back, his Eyes and body were green again, it was just as if nothing happened, and
Glossing over that this moment might've given Maximus a life of trauma within 25 seconds, Nirrothos coughed and said. "'COUGH'... Well, about your family, you may want to, um, be ready for what you will hear and try your best to stay calm, alright? It's a pretty long explanation and view….." Nirrothos was interrupted again, THE audacity to not only interrupt him once but twice, truly either mad-lad or someone suicidal..... I'll have to go for the latter.
"JUST…. TELL….. ME….. EVERYTHING!!!!" At this point, poor Maximus has truly lost so many brain cells and feels like he needs to die again at this juncture, not want but a necessity for him, so screaming at the omnipotent being would probably help in creating an assisted suicide.....Right?
"Alright, okay fine Jesus why don't you take some Xanax to calm down a bit, because I feel this bad vibe around you right now." again he doesn't have a mouth but if he had one he would be giving an ever loving shit faced grin at this moment.
(A/N: don't take drugs unless prescribed by an experienced doctor or professional, and f*ck you Nirrothos)
"....." Maximus has been wondering if this entire conversation was some sort of karma aimed towards him because of something he did in
his past life, and yet at this time he could only stay quiet and wait while only using the power of his last two survival brain cells which is pushing at its limit. And finally, Nirrothos answered.
"Ok, so let me be blunt here and narrate all the important junk. So, in the beginning, your family had been isekai'd to another world, your basic, generic dnd style world of swords and magic, but the power scale in that world is similar to WH40K, so you would expect power levels to be bullshit, and they were sent to that world with decent cheats.
Still, even with those cheats, it will only be enough for them to survive there and beat basic demon kings for a few years while trying to become stronger to save that small kingdom from a demon king and let's just say that in your world a kingdom over there would be the size of Russia from your world.
They were also trying to find their way back to their original world, and as time passed, their research came without any luck. They never found anything close to helpful for them to go back to their original world, which led them to believe that the priests who teleported them away from their original world could also do so in reverse, sending them back. So they worked hard to win against the demon king.
Still, the longer they stayed, which is six years for you, being without them would be twice as much for them, which is twelve years, see now I also do quick maths too...…. And now I'm already changing topics too...… 'sigh.' Within five years, they decided that you were better off without them and focused on their new home, and oh yeah, on an unimportant topic, your father was cuckolded, or NTR'D like some of you degenerates would call it, which was a wife and daughter duo action and the guy who cuckolded your father was stronger, as that world they are in would have plenty of powerhouses which is kinda fucked up in its way. All of that was after the death of the demon king and during the ceremony."
Throughout that long-winded explanation, Maximus had never been so flabbergasted in his entire life. Nirrothos even tried to sweep his father's cuckolding under the rug—like that wasn't a huge deal?!??? Right? It was like being flash-banged fifteen times on repeat! Maximus had to voice something out because he couldn't hang on anymore mentally.
"AYOOOOO!!!!!! WOAH WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!!! WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!!!!!! OH, HELL NO, YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT AND END IT THERE WITHOUT ANY FURTHER CONTEXT!!!!!! WHAT THE F*CK!!!!!" Nirrothos also spoke up and added
"Well, if you want to know about that, then I'll tell you, but why aren't you bothered about the part that I said that they decided to permanently stay in another world without your say in anything, even if you both were in separate worlds that would still be a huge wack in the face right?? because throughout everything to only thinking about joining them to heaven you only thought about them I'm just wondering what changed??" When Nirrothos said that, Maximus pondered for a bit and said
"I mean, yeah, that hurts a lot, and if it was back when I was eighteen, my reaction would have been much, much, MUCH worse, but throughout my self-reflection over the past six years and becoming an adult at the age of twenty-four, they could do whatever they want as long as they are happy, because it's their life, not mine, and also is was it consensual or is it exactly like one of those times NTR doujin???" Nirrothos finally started to give out more answers after receiving that response.
"It was a mix of both? I mean, your father couldn't relieve or pleasure her during one of those bedroom exercises if you know what I mean, right….. right….. ri…."
"Could you please stay focused... 'Sigh.' Also, I feel like I am hearing one of the most generic NTR plot-based stories to ever be conceived in internet history." Maximus felt that Nirrothos needed help staying focused because he was just starting to realize that this being was just a walking, talking mass of ADHD. I mean, having omnipotence and ADHD together, now that's something to think about… a horrible migraine to think about if you ask me.
"Wait a minute, I feel that someone just said something rude to me. Who the F*ck was that???? Nirrothos looked at the boundless cardinal to see if his goofy ass could see who was making fun of his inexistent hairline... heh.
"GO...….. back to the story, Nirrothos." Maximus gritted his teeth and tried to direct Nirrotho back to his story.
"OH, that's right!? I totally forgot about it, so where was I 'cough'? The wife or your mother seemed to become more and more depressed until she met a young prince. This prince was from one of the bigger kingdoms, and that prince could have obliterated the demon king all by himself. But remember this: it wasn't even him who killed the demon king.
It was YOUR family that did it. And I will let you think about it on your own because I just realized just how generic this is, even after all the hardship that a family of yours had to go through.
Now, this feels even more disgusting because your father is unadulterated, bonified..... DISGUSTING CUCK!!!!!!.... I MEAN YOUR FUCKING FATHER HAS ABOUT THE BIGGEST HUMILIATION FETISH I HAVE EVER SEEN AND NOT ONLY DID YOUR FATHER ENJOY HAVING HIS WIFE BEING FUCKED, HE EVEN ENJOYS IT MORE IF ITS BOTH HIS DAUGHTER AND WIFE IN A FREAKING THREESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nirrotho was having the greatest meltdown in the entirety of his existence.... although I do have to agree as that reaction is completely acceptable in this case. Now I feel bad for Maximus having a father like that, and his mother and sister aren't any better, but that dad of his is on that freaky demon time, truly scum.....
"I- I feel like I do have to let them go...… I mean, as long as they all enjoy it." Max felt like he was going to puke, and he didn't even have a body at this moment. That will be one of Maximus' biggest mysteries. And with this moment, maybe disowning his whole family feels like something that Maximus should be doing right now and running away as fast as he can.
He is even hoping that he was adopted after hearing everything that transpired over to that world, as they are completely different from what he knew when they were all together, and this leads Maximus to believe that his family was worse than he was when he wasn't with them during the original world answers that should be left unanswered...… It's only for the best.
"Now that I got to know how my family has been, 'shiver' now here is my final question 'angry noises that sound like a feral raccoon somehow????' WHO PUT A GOD DAMN BANANA IN FRONT OF MY APARTMENT DOOR!!!!!!!!!" My god Maximus sounded batshit insane at this moment.
"Oh, ah, I mean, sure, of course, THAT person's name is Timmy Turner. He was the one to put that banana in front of that doorstep as a random pranking contest to see who could prank the most with his stupid friends!!...….." Nirrotho said that as he exaggeratedly pointed his finger upwards to the green sky.
"I SWEAR I will have MY REVENGE UPON THEE TIMMY TURNER IF THAT IS THE LAST thing I DO, including EVERY TIMELINE, REALITY, OR EVEN UNIVERSE!!!!!!!" At this very moment... Timmy Turner had unknowingly fumbled hard as he created a lifelong enemy that can never be wished away like the rest of his problems….. and this enemy had pettiness that was on the levels of Eobard Thawnes's absurd insanity for Barry Allen... Rip Timmy and his infinite versions of himself... Amen.
(A/N: Or..... maybe he will realize that the person he wants to tear apart is only a kid and he shouldn't do anything horrible to kids... Right?)
"'Sniff sniff,' why do I smell that someone is trying to cope? Well, I hope he can cope harder for me..... Now, before I send you out of here so that you can go on your way, how about I give you a few wishes on your way to wherever you're going to because that enemy of yours can also use wishes to his advantage, but unlike him, I can turn these wishes into its truest reality, the wish I can give has absolutely no upper limit whatsoever, so don't waste the wish like one those dumb protagonists from some of the fan-fiction novels, I mean you could ever wish for my death, or you can wish to become even stronger than me as I am at this moment!!!
Finally, you could even be as detailed as you want with these wishes, making it seemingly more than one wish, but in the end, it will still be considered as one. But sadly, unlike those fairies of his, I can only grant 3 wishes for you, and you cannot wish for more wishes, but that doesn't matter because it is EXCITING to let your imagination fly as far as you want!!!!!...… at this very moment now wish for anything you desire Max!!!!!" Nirrothos, was beyond exhilarated in imagining just how much chaos Max could cause and to someday become something more than just strong, but to become insanity incarnated...
Added to the fact that Maximuse's already f*cked brain was now only running on two functional brain cells that were slowly deprived during his time of being stuck in this void listening to Mr. ADHD run his mouth all this time throughout, and the space meth-fueled entity just had to give Maximus the biggest trauma of his life...….. the only thing that is keeping his sanity is the fact he has an idea for what wishes he wants.
"DAMN IT, I SENSE IT AGAIN!!!...…. NOW WHO THE HELL IS TRYING TO DISS ME!!!!!! I AM SURE THAT IT'S THE SAME F*CKER FROM LAST TIME!!!!….. WHERE IS HEE!!!!…" Nirrotho called out to the void pounding his chest to show his dominance, but nothing called back, so finally, his short attention span has redirected back to Maximus, but damn... His senses do be on point, though.....
"...." Maximus has learned that gaining any more answers on why Nirrothos had a manic breakdown would be pointless and rolled with it. "Alright, now all of that is out of the way. My first wish is for All the abilities and powers from Pennywise, more likely known as IT from the Dark Tower Universe, and scale his tier list from the omniversal fandom, which would be tier 0, which would mean that this IT would have new abilities added on to make it more deserving for a tier 0 being as in being able to travel can be a possibility for the new and improved pennywise." At least Maximus can use his last surviving brain cells to the fullest.
".....NOW...….THAT...IS...…..PERFECT!!!!!!. But why Pennywise, of all things?" Nirrothos had to ask because having IT's ability set didn't seem to make any sense, and he meant personality-wise. For those confused as to why an omnipotent being doesn't know why Max chose the option, it is because he would become bored all over again. Max's soul is just as insane and seemingly boundless as his, so the effort of using clairvoyance would only be a chore.
"...…That is a personal reason.... and also, I am trying to create a little theme for me because of how cool I think it is." It was not because of the traumatic experience caused by the goldfish in front of him truly..... I mean, trust me.....
"And also, the sound of scaring people with his new and improved powers sounds like fun for me because I have a feeling that this wish is perfect against ₮ł₥₥Ɏ." Oh lord...… Does it look like our inter-dimensional crackhead Nirrotho had awakened something in 'Adolf' that I hope will not further mess up this story?
"Alright my next wish is All the abilities and powers of the weaver from the world of darkness except for its gender, instead of female it will be male, and not have that insanity trait that she had because I already am having trouble with my own right now...."...…. Now, that wish will bite Maximus in the back someday, and I will make it happen….. it will either be a blessing for Maximus or a literal curse for Maximus, and it will solely depend on his reaction at that moment..... And those who don't understand one word will help you understand 'Yandere.'
"Is it me, or do I feel someone's blood pressure rising somewhere?" Nirrotho, honest to his faulty shenanigans since the very beginning of his existence, truly had no idea where to place this sixth sense of where that poor lad's blood pressure was coming from. What a poor bastard.
"Ok, Now, Maximus, on to your third and final wish." He snapped back to granting the next wish.
Nirrotho couldn't help but realize what theme he was trying to create for himself and said, "Ah hOh, I see what you're trying to accomplish here, and I can't wait till this is over, Mr. Spider lad. Now go on and ask for your third wish, you CYOA nerd!!" He said that not because of the readers.
(A/N: This feels like I am writing a terrifying crack fic the more I write. and CYOA means to choose your adventure where you have set essences that would fit your character and they range from different characters or abilities)
My last wish is to have absolute condition, and with it, I could remove any unwanted personalities if there were any after, I could also have better control over the other two wishes so putting limiters on my avatars will be as easy as breathing and... And Is it normal to feel that something wants to hang me by a noose??"...Oh Maximus truly has no idea…..
"I also get those sometimes when I am trying to do something fun...… but never mind that... I guess this is the end of the road all of those wishes will be granted to you, to enact whatever grand scheme you concoct against Barry- I mean Timmy Turner… but I would like to tell you that you will be randomly teleported to a world, and there are a few worlds that you would be able to go to without causing a scene, having a bunch of boundless beings gangs up on you homeboy ain't a good thing for you even with all that power and little time with it..... So goodbye and see you next time have a good time!!" And Maximus was transported to [REDACTED]
"OH yeah... I seemed to forget that to make things somewhat fair, all of the boundless entities have gotten their power boosted too, LOL!" And at this point, if Maximus were to hear him say that, he would have another fit.... but he would agree with it...…. I think.
([REDACTED] National Park)
SCP-1006 is an organized collective of an unknown species of the genus Araneus. Individual members have achieved sapience through unknown means and have established a rudimentary system of government resembling Marxist communism. SCP-1006 is contained within a 213m radius and any relocation of SCP-1006 is strongly discouraged due to the fragility of individual members and their sensitivity to habitat changes. And sadly this peaceful civilization of spiders will have to face an unexpected end because they are still communists, and their end will be caused by one of their 'own kind'.
創作者的想法 
Saptarasura
Saptarasura Good job to whoever actually finished reading, this chapter felt fun to write but looking at it subjectively I felt like the wishes were too much…….. but I do hope it was a fun read for you on a pass time, and I do think that this could have been executed better.
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票