章節 13: Escapades of the drunken spider! Part 2
AN: —Warning this chapter contains gore—
Having finished with my mental musings I went to the desk. Spotting an empty chair a bit to the side I decided to take it. After sitting down on my newly acquired seat, I looked towards the bartender.
He was a gruff looking man with wide shoulders and a scar over his right eye. He kind of looked like someone who would work for the mafia. He was giving me an unimpressed look, like I was some ignorant tourist doing something stupid, that every local would know not to do.
Well to be fair if I had been a normal person this would definitely not be a safe place to be. But considering the fact that I am very much capable of killing everyone within the bar with my bare hands. Not to mention I have the entire place surrounded by an unseen army of arachnoid monsters. Oh and did I mention I am bulletproof? Yeah I don't see normal humans being able to do much of anything against me. I mean unless they managed to use my weaknesses against me of course. But you know, there's just a tiny little problem with that… The sun has already set. Honestly even if I end up drunk, I could still send a grown man flying with a casual swing of my arm. It might actually be a good thing that I am in a bar full of criminals, considering my absurd strength I could easily see drunk me injuring someone by mistake… Okay so maybe getting drunk is a pretty bad idea, considering my strength and all… meh you only live once!
I gave the bartender a confident grin and said "give me your strongest"
He looked at me like I was an idiot. Then he shook his head a bit, but nevertheless still reached down under the desk and pulled out a bottle. He held the bottle and said "You got money" in a stoic voice that sounded like someone who was just about done with everyone.
Not gonna lie I was a bit stunned at that display… The spiders in my hoodie on the other hand, had already grabbed the required money and transported it to my hand through my sleeve.
Upon seeing the money move out of my sleeve on its own, the guy looked a bit confused. Shrugging to himself he took the money, found a glass and poured the stuff from the bottle into it. Then he placed it in front of me and said "Igor's homemade" in his stoic voice.
The liquid smelled very strongly of alcohol. It was to the point where I felt like you could actually get drunk from the fumes alone. I have no idea who Igor is, but the homemade part didn't really give me much confidence. I felt like this drink might not be entirely safe for human consumption… But then again I am a demon so it would probably be fine right?
I could feel my spiders giving me small nudges from inside the hoodie. It felt like they were playfully egging me on to try it, which in all honesty I was almost 100% sure they were. Well I guess I did tell them I wanted to get drunk, so I can't really blame them.
I could also see how some of the other people in the bar was staring at me in challenge. Like they were daring me to drink it in one go with their stares.
My old body was something in between a lightweight and a heavyweight. I wonder how much my new body can take? Well there is one way to find out!
Feeling the stares grow heavier, and the nudging from my spiders grow more intense, I carefully grabbed the glass. Then I slowly raced it towards my mouth, feeling the tension growing, and smelling the strong alcoholic fumes. I readied myself, and as the tension reached its height, I chucked it in one go.
It tasted very strongly of alcohol, and left a burning sensation in my mouth. At the same time I heard a loud sound.
"HEY" The folks who had been looking at me gave me a loud cheer, in respect? Admiration? Solidarity? Whatever it was it gave me a warm feeling inside… Or maybe that was the alcohol?
As I was getting ready to order a new drink, a guy set down next to me. We shared a look, and in some unspoken agreement we both got the same drink. With a look of pure determination, we lifted our glasses and emptied our liquor in one go. Having emptied our glasses at the same time, we put them down on the counter, and gave each other another challenging stare. Then we ordered a new drink and got ready to out drink each other.
~Two hour time skip brought to you by impromptu, but oddly intense drinking contest~
"*Hicc*" I could feel my head spinning a bit, but I'm not drunk. I'm not okaaay, just a bit dizzy. The other guy looks way more drunk! I am perfectly sober? Soup? Soap? Which ever one that means I'm not drunk!!!
Hold on a moment, I feel like someone is staring at me?
I looked over to my side to see my impromptu drinking buddy staring at me, or more specifically my hair, with an absolutely gob smacked expression.
"Yooooo your hair is turning white, is that like some new drugs or something?" He says in a slurred nearly unintelligible voice.
"nahhh my hair is just cool like that" I answered.
"That's sick yooooo, how you do that?" He asks.
"Hu, never really thought about that?! How did I actually do that again?" I say a bit confused
"It just kind of happens, you know *hicc*? Like how you just kinda wanna move your arm, and it moves". I say while wildly swinging my arm.
"Crack, AAAAAAAA, Smack" hu, did I hit something? I feel like I did… nah, it was probably nothing.
Looking down at my hand, there is some red stuff on it… mhhh this smells really good. I wonder if it tastes good? "Slurp, mmmmhhhh" oh yeah that is the good stuff. "Slurp", holy hell I could get addicted to this stuff, It tastes amazing!
"Ayo you some kind of vampire?!" My drinking body asks.
"The f**c did you just do to my buddy, you crazy bitch" someone shouts in the background. I guess someone is having an argument, not my problem. Instead I decide to answer my drinking buddy.
"nahhh I'm a demon, we are way cooler! Why do you ask?" I said a bit confused about the whole vampire thing.
"bitch I don't care if you're Satan himself, I'm gonna *** your ***** ******* so hard you f*****g **** you stupid fggguugk" the angry guy shouts, while stomping this way. Honestly I think I'm just gonna sensor everything he says from now on.
"Well you just d-"my buddy says, but he is cut off midway, by the angry guy literally sticking his head into our conversation.
"Fguufgghhyggbhjh" angry guy says, and tries to roughly grab my shoulder.
"Rude!!!" I nearly shout, and grab his face with my hand, and effortlessly drag him down to eye level.
"listen here you little shit, don't go interrupting peoples *hicc* conversations you got that?" I say to angry dude.
"Now what were you saying, Steve?" I say well looking at my drinking buddy, who is currently sporting an odd expression. It sort of looks like a combination between awed and annoyed, with the addition of a twitching eye. He nevertheless shakes his head and replies.
"Drinking blood is sorta vampires whole stick right yooo? Also my name is Joe, not Steve" he says.
"Mph" angry guy says while turning kind of blue. He has also grabbed onto my arm with both hands and is trying to pry it off, not that he is having much success.
"*Hicc*, yeah but what does that have too do with me, Steve?" I say to the Steve in denial.
"My name is Joe! J,O,E. Joe! Not Steve! *Hicc*" He says, but he is clearly a Steve, he just doesn't know it yet.
He starts saying something more, but I was a bit distracted because angry dude was trying to punch me.
"Sorry give me a moment, Stevie boy *hicc*" I say to the newly appointed Steve, and turn my head towards angry guy.
Angry guy throws a punch directly at my face, which I lazily catch right before it hits me. Looking at the hand close-up like this, I wonder if it taste good?
"Mphmph" angry guy shouts, murmurs? Murmur shouts??? meh, whatever I'm just gonna take a bite. I augment my jaw to be larger, and grow forth multiple large sharp teeth within. Meanwhile angry guy desperately tries to pry his hand away from my morphing mouth, not that he has any success. With a satisfying crunch, angry guy can now become Captain Hook.
"MhPppumpphhhb" angry guy lets out a weird muffled scream. But more importantly, this hand it tastes absolutely amazing. It has just the right amount of crunch to it! Thanks for your donation angry guy!
"Mis killing is not allowed in the bar, take your victim outside" an incredibly stoic voice says. I wonder who that is for? I mean killing someone in front of everyone just like that? Who would ever do that?
"Yoooo, do demons like, eat people or something?" The Steve asks.
"Meh something like that *hicc*, Steve" I answer the confused Steve.
"That's sick yoooo *hicc*. Also my name is still Joe" the Steve says.
"Whatever you sayyyy, Steve" I answer.
"You're really not gonna drop that Steve thing, are you?" The Steve says.
"Nope , you are a Steve now *hicc*" I say while giggling uncontrollably.
"Sigh, whatever *hicc*" the Steve says, which clearly means he has accepted his destiny, of becoming a Steve!
"Hu?!" I say as I feel my spiders vibrating a bit, almost like they are trying to say something? Oh I know, they want adventure!!!
"Steve!!! The spiders have spoken *hicc*, they crave adventure!!!" I shout to the confused newly self accepted Steve.
"Wha!?" He says somewhat startled.
"*Hicc* is that like the voices in your head, or something?" He asks. Which is sort of silly since they're clearly in my hoodie, not my head.
"What do you mean!? *Hicc* they are right here in my hoodie!" I say while opening my hoodie to show him my spiders. He looks very eager to see the spiders, then as I show them he seems confused.
"Yoooo, why you have spiders in your clothes? *Hicc*" he asks in a confused tone.
"Whaaaat!? You don't *hicc*, but they are so nice!" I say to the silly Steve. Why would you go anywhere without your spiders? Silly Steve indeed! Wait there was something I needed to do? Oh yeah, adventure!!!
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