章節 25: CH 25: Fluff
<I'm going to rant a bit. I'm really, really sorry, but I am. You know how there are somethings that are really, REALLY fucking annoying in most Chinese written Douluo Dalu fanfics, right? I'm not racist, but these people are the ONLY people that do that! I'm going to rant a bit at three of those.
1) Making the entire world look shit just for MC to look like hot shit.
2) Overall power of this cultivation system which these bitches underestimate so fucking much.
3) The amount that people are able to lift.
1) First of all, we've all seen it. It's pretty self-explanatory. Author makes it look like titled douluos of anybody and everybody else at that look like hot garbage just so MC can seem badass. Which honestly just pisses me off.
2) Second of all, so if you've read Douluo Dalu fanfics, especially those that are written by Chinese authors and are MTL (Machine Translation), seriously fucking underestimate the power system.
I've seen people say that this world's cultivation system is one of the weakest there is. There was even a dumb fuck that wrote god level soul master aren't even equal to high level cultivators in Battle Through The Heavens!
Do you know how retarded that is?!
Let me tell you just how "weak" this world's cultivation system is. So you know God-Kings, right? The top dogs of this world second to only Supreme God-Kings? Yeah, those. Do you know what power level they are in canon?
5th-Dimensional beings!
It's canon, and it's even in the fucking Wiki! Obviously, I wouldn't be surprised if most of you don't know what that is. It's okay, I'll explain. One sentence is needed to explain their power.
Pretty much if they can think it, they can do it.
5th-Dimensional beings are nigh-omnipotent entities that can manifest into anything they desire!
You know Emperor Joker? That fucker became so powerful thanks to taking Mr Mxyzptlk's, a 5th-Dimensional Imp's powers!
You know Alien X? I read somewhere that he was AT LEAST 5th-Dimensional!
You know Darkseid? I read somewhere that he was AT LEAST 5th-Dimensional!
Yet these dumbasses say that these fuckers, beings that can destroy universes, and are literally fuckin lords of their own higher-dimensional universe, 2 dimensions higher than 5th, are actually fucking weak!
I deserve to rant about their stupidity! Normal gods are also 4th-Dimensional beings, and 1st Class Gods are at the fucking top of the 4th-Dimensional Hierarchy! You're telling me that is weak?! Or that a being that can grow to that strength is weak?! You dare say that Douluo Dalu's cultivation system, which can make them literally Nigh-Omnipotent, and possibly Omnipotent at Supreme God-Kings rank, is actually fucking weak?! Fucking retards.
Also, for your information, you see those fanfics where the MC goes against the gods while not being a god, and heck, not even being a titled douluo and maybe even weaker? And the deep shit actually managing to hurt or even kill them?!
Yeah, that's bullshit. This is copy-pasted from the Wiki :"As a 4th-Dimensional being, they are not affected by anything a 3rd-dimensional being can do and requires one to be on their level of existence and be unbound by lower and their own dimensional effects to affect them. It's also impossible to calculate and plan against a god unless you are at a similar level or higher, since it won't have any effect on them."
Fuck you, any author that tried to put up a challenge for MC after realizing that making the entire world look like shit was one of the DUMBEST things to do.
3) Third of all, this pisses me off even more than the fact that these retards call Nigh-Omnipotent weak. If you've read other Douluo Dalu fanfics, you'll know, these bitches did not have good grades in school.
Almost all of them will have the MC go for the "training with weights" path, and they will try to make the MC look like hot shit by weakening the entire fucking world. I am currently reading a Douluo Dalu fanfic, and you know what it said?
MC equipped weighted clothes and whatnot, which was around 2,000 kg. Not tons, JUST kg. And do you know what the author said? "For titled douluos and spirit douluos, they wouldn't have a problem at all. But a soul emperor would have the speed of a turtle if they had it on."
Oh wow!! MC can lift 2,000 kg!! Can you believe that?! Do you know how heavy 2,000 kg is?! He's a genius with a heavenly body!
-_-
How much is 2,000 kg? Don't let that thousand bullshit fool you. That's only 2 tons. Most cars weigh around 1.5 and 2.5 tons. You mean a soul emperor wouldn't be able to lift a damn car?
Do you know how much of a bullshit that is? Spider-Man can lift 20 tons. Fucking Scorpion can lift 15 tons! You're telling me these guys are only two or three steps away from literal godhood and Nigh-Omnipotence?!
I wanted to drop the damn story so fucking bad. But unfortunately, it's one of the few good ones where MC chooses the smart move of joining Martial Soul Hall at the beginning -_-.
I'm sorry for ranting, now you can continue. As compensation, this chapter is mostly fluff and casual time with Bibi Dong>
------------------------------------
"(Hmhmhm, hmhmhm. Hm hm hmhm hm hm hm. Hm hm hm? Hm, hm hm. Hm hmhmhm hm hm hm hm, hmhmmm! (Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Can't do whatever a spider can. Can he stand? No, he can't. He's paralyzed from the waist down, look ouuut!) Ah Li hummed nonchalantly, a small smile on his face as he walked while holding hands with Bibi Dong... Such a lewd, shameless and slutty act... We get that you're an Incubus, but holy shit is this slutty!
"What are you humming?" Bibi Dong smiled down at him as they walked through the streets. With a nonchalant smile, he just shrugged :"Eh, nothing, just humming a little tune."
"Hahaha, okay. Hey, wanna eat anything while we're out?" She chuckled softly, smiling tenderly :"I'll buy you whatever you want. Snacks? Fruits? Or is there something that catches your eyes and attention?"
"Hmm... Then... Can we buy some of that?" He pointed at a stall in the distance, causing Bibi Dong to look as well :"Oh? Boiled corn? Sure. Let's buy a few extra for Xiao Xue and Nana too."
As they walked towards the stall, they saw an old woman sitting behind it :"Miss, four boiled corns please." But just as she ordered, Ah Li spoke up :"Five please! I want an extra."
"Hahaha, alright, you little glutton. Five boiled corns please." The milf of a Pope chuckled in amusement, changing her ordering.
The old lady was a little surprised by the Pope's appearance at her little stall. But didn't overreact and just nodded with a kind smile :"Right away, your highness. Just a moment."
After carefully picking up a few boiled corns from the water, she placed them in clean bags before handing them to the busty woman :"Here, your highness."
<There were actual microphones, TVs and flying platforms in the anime, so I don't really think this is confusing... Other than the whole TV and bullshit that somehow exists even though this is an ancient world...>
"Thank you. How much will that be?" Bibi Dong spoke calmly after grabbing the bag and handing it to Ah Li. But the old and sweet lady just shook her head with a smile :"No need to pay, your highness."
Bibi Dong frowned as she shook her head :"How can I do that? I've bought these, so of course I will pay for them as well. Just tell me the price. Money isn't something for me to be worried about."
Hearing her, the old lady looked a bit distressed :"You are the Pope of Martial Soul Hall and the person who has brought it to such heights. How could I take money from you? Please, just consider them as a gift and a token of gratitude from an ordinary folk."
"But still..." Bibi Dong insisted, but Ah Li decided to interrupt :"Master, just accept the gift. After all, this is this grandma's business and her livelihood. Since she wants to give these few corns, just accept her token of gratitude. She doesn't seem to be willing to back down either."
"Hahaha, the young lad is right, your holiness." The old lady chuckled :"We old folks are very stubborn if we want to. Please just accept them. They're only a few corns anyway, nothing much."
"Well... Sigh, alright. Thank you then." The voluptuous milf nodded with a small smile as Ah Li also smiled brightly :"Thank you, granny!"
"Hahaha, you're welcome, your highness, young lad." The old grandma nodded with a kind smile before the master and disciple duo walked away.
"Master, please hold onto this." Ah Li said, gaining his master's attention. As she grabbed the bag, the red eyed boy took out one of the boiled corns. But didn't take the bag and just started to eat, causing Bibi Dong's gorgeous face to twitch before she just held the bag and kept walking :"Are you just going to eat it now?"
Ah Li, biting the boiled corn :"Yeah. Why?"
Bibi Dong :"Aren't you going to wait so you can eat together with me, Xiao Xue and Nana?"
Ah Li :"Hell no. Those two will definitely try to snatch the extra corn."
Bibi Dong :"... I don't think they'll do that."
Ah Li :"Oh believe me, they will. There's no friendship when it comes to food, master."
Bibi Dong, shaking head in amusement :"Hahaha, now you're just being overdramatic, little guy."
"No, I'm not." The black haired boy rolled his eyes before smiling mischievously :"Heh, maybe master is just too old to know the world of young people- Oww!!"
<Guess his balls also have the Ultimate Strength attribute, huh?>
But his sentence was interrupted by Bibi Dong pinching the back of his hand harshly with a threatening gaze :"What did you just say?"
"What, didn't master hear me?" He said, still grinning mischievously :"Is your hearing getting weaker because of your age- Ow ow ow!!"
While glaring threateningly, Bibi Dong pinched his hand even harder :"Xiao Li, if you don't watch your tongue, I'll bend you over my knee and teach you a thing or two."
'Jokes on you, I'm into that shit! ... If our positions are swapped! ... Or not, I'm a switch anyway. I can be satisfied with being both a dom and a sub.' He sighed inwardly as he winced outwardly :"Okay, okay! I'm sorry, geez!"
"Hmph." The voluptuous pink haired woman snorted in annoyance as she stopped pinching his poor and delicate hand :"I should focus on teaching you about what to say and not to say to a woman for a while."
Not being able to rub his hand or blow on the red spot, he just hissed in pain. With a gentle snort, he decided to get back to eating his snack instead :"Now who's being overdramatic?"
"I'm being overdramatic?" Bibi Dong raised an eyebrow at him :"How about you say that to Xiao Xue of Nana to see if you'll get out of it with a simple tickle torture? Hmph, everybody knows that you should never talk about a woman's age and weight. That's common knowledge."
When she saw him opening his cute mouth with a mischievous grin while looking at her stomach, she squeezed his hand in a threatening manner while glaring and speaking through gritted teeth :"I DARE you to say something stupid. See if you'll be able to sit right for days."
"..." Hearing her threat and feeling her fingers squeezing around his hand, Ah Li gulped in fear as he dug back into his snack with a whisper :"I'll just keep my mouth busy with this corn..."
"Hmph, good." His sex-on-legs master snorted with annoyance :"Xiao Li, a woman's wrath is one of the deadliest things in existence. Make fun of a woman's age or weight, then you'll find out what arouses that wrath."
'Hmph, I'll see if you can bring out that "wrath" when you're jumping that "fat" ass on my dick in the future.' He snorted inwardly with an annoyed pout, but not dating to speak up. After all, he was crazy, not stupid. And besides, he could only speak and think. Puberty hadn't reached for him to become best friends with his dick who he would spend hours with every single day.
And that was just in his past life. Now that he was an Incubus, he honestly didn't think he'd be able to leave his dick alone after hitting puberty. He could just imagine his dick saying "I'm tired boss" if it could speak.
Good thing he could get stronger and his cultivation speed would increase because of sinful and evil auras. And lust being one of the seven main sins, it could actually be really useful.
At least there was some benefit to his unending horniness.
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票