章節 2: EPISODE 2
I WALKED to work in anger directed at Parker as always, he'd decided to play one of his foolish tricks, where he riled me up and turned the tables around to play innocent, just how much of a dickhead was he?
Liam hadn't come to school for three days, I was really kinda worried, fought the urge to go to the school administrator and ask why. I prayed he was okay or if he didn't pull through, happy with whatever he did. I felt his absence on the rooftop but I'd get over it soon, I'm used to being left and alone.
I got to work, took a shot of tequila to calm down and went to change out of my uniform. My boss was gay and proud of it. It was a Thursday, friends night, when he invited his friends, who I guess shared the same sexuality as him over. We always tried to make the night a memorable one for him, so I put on my practised smile and turned the sign around to closed --they loved their privacy.
"OMG. I still can't get why all the cute guys prefer themselves." May, one of the girls I worked with whispered while I filled the glasses on their trays up to take into the private room.
"Yeah right. I really wonder what they do in there." Amber added. I wondered too sometimes, but I had other things to worry about to bother finding out like how much my cheeks hurt from smiling too much.
"Obviously fuck themselves." Leo shrugged and they gasped.
" Ewww__why'd you say that? May made a face of disgust.
"A gangbang? They're like 10 in there." Amber was rather amused at the thought.
" Yeah I mean if I were in a room with cute ass girls that's definitely what I'd be doing. No offense."
"What do you mean? We ain't cute?" Amber gestured from May to her.
"Come on you girls are. I wouldn't mind if you're down." He winked at them then turned to me. "Will could get one while I get one__" I shook my head and he added. "Or I could do you both?"
"Ewwww__" May hit his head taking her tray away.
"Gross, you're not my type." Amber repeated May's action
"Oww__ oh come on you girls asked." He retorted going after them.
I sat bored by the counter, the boss let us get off work by now, once his friends were settled but I just didn't want to go home for obvious reasons, every second out counts. May and Leo had left earlier while Amber stayed to clean up. I scrolled through my page reading the new curses, one called me 'bean douche' they were really creative with their curses.
My boss walked out the private room holding his phone to his ear saying,"You're here?" In a rush to the front door.
Another one of his friends must've arrived, I heard the Christmas bell --we'd cared less to take off after three months had passed now serving as a door bell-- jingle. I should really get going, stroll the rest of the time off.
I looked up when I heard the footsteps from the door get closer, I called out, "Hey!" when I saw the familiar face before I could mull it over.
"Hey?" Kavien, my boss repeated. "You know each other?" He glanced from Liam to me inquisitively.
"No." " Yes." Liam and I blurted respectively.
" No." I corrected.
He was right, we didn't know each other, just going to the same school wasn't enough. We've only shared one sentence which he spoke. The rooftop relationship wasn't something to be proud of either, besides it was a public place though private to us.
"Huh. That's funny though. Your names__ nevermind. Just coincidence." Kavien simpered. I doubt any gay would resist him. Scrawny and effeminate. Two words to describe my boss. He subconsciously treated us more like friend than employees.
I hadn't expected Liam to be one of his 'friends.' He hadn't come off as gay to me not like it was written on foreheads but it'd been weird how a guy seemed to be well versed in fashion.
Whenever there was a school event, he always managed to dress hot --I could hear the girls commenting on it not like I cared-- even the every day school uniform,he'd made his cool, right now he still looked it. Sleeveless shirt showing off his forearm --I noticed a tattoo I hadn't known he hid underneath his blazer, just two words ML, must mean something to him-- he had on a simple blue short and trainees. His hair wasn't slicked back like in school, it was disheveled but still looked cool on him. His fringes almost covering his right eye. He had one hand in his pocket, the other constantly tugging the strands off his eyes.
He didn't look like either of the Liams I knew. Not overly sad or happy. Just a normal, queer, teenage lad. I realized how odd it was using those two words. Normal and queer, didn't quite sound nice, since gays weren't classified normal by society.
They worked to the private room, Kavien flashing me a smile and Liam looking at him bored. Maybe they weren't just friends, there may be a 'boy' before the 'friend.' I wondered if that was what they were doing in there 'a gangbang' like Amber said, well it's his life.
I stood up, cleaning the surface with a rag, locking up the cabinet. I was done for the night, gonna be a long stroll. Before I could leave, the door to the private room opened, I thought Kavien needed something, instead, Liam walked out still wearing that bored expression, alone.
He looked at me, holding my gaze while he strutted to the counter and took a seat. He didn't talk, just stared. I waited patiently to know what he wanted. I curiously wanted to ask how he'd been, I felt guilt for thinking he'd taken his life. Not everyone's as crude as me.
"Aren't you gonna ask what I want?" He shot trying to be rude which was a failed attempt.
I had a lot of comebacks like 'There's a lot in the room' or 'I'm done for the day.' but I humoured him and asked, "What do you want?" Opening the cabinets once again.
"Anything you like." He smirked. That in my opinion was a foolish reply, but I got him whiskey either way, filling his glass. "It's weird, isn't it?" He asked. I raised a brow and he added, " We've been together every day for more than a month but don't know each other." He was right. It was weird. I didn't even think he'd be talking to me. I had a reputation.
"Yeah__" I nodded. "But it was comfortable." I added honestly, placing both hand on the counter holding my body up.
"When you stopped seeing me, did you think I may have 'jumped'?" I understood what he meant.
"Yes." Honestly again, that got him laughing, it wasn't those spurious laughs he gave others but more like a throaty chuckle, not intending to hide the sadness in his eyes. He drank the whiskey, scrunching his face when it burnt his throat. "I thought about it a lot, jumping, at first but now, I just autopilot everyday."
He nodded. The unspoken understanding we shared. -- that was the answer to his question three days ago,-- "But, isn't that worse? Living?" He laughed that sad laugh. "How ironic." I almost asked what made him so sad, mine was all over the forum, the rumors though not the truth. "Well I decided to take your advice."
"Huh?" I refilled his glass.
"Make a scene." He replied. I never said that, but that was it again the silent conversations. "So, would you do it? With me?" He asked earnestly.
"Hey loon, I'm not about to commit suicide with you, I have some thing to live for." I shot praying he wouldn't ask what it was, cause I'll either tell a lie or the crude truth, I was sure it'd be the former.
He laughed again amused, this one reaching his eyes, "Relax mate." He croaked. "I have things to live for too, I'm not that depressed."
He couldn't stop laughing. I found myself laughing along. Weirdly, it wasn't uncomfortable, well with him nothing was uncomfortable. It felt like something I do everyday, like I was used to it. Laughing with this bloke. Liam.
"Ain't u gonna have that?" I pointed at the shot of whiskey.
"Nah, I hate that stuff. Bloody burns my throat." I looked at him like he'd grown a second head, why'd he order for it then?
"You're still paying for it though."
"Oh no I'm not," he grinned, "Kav said I could have anything." I noticed the endearment 'Kav.'
"Must be nice."
"You can have it." I took the shot and downed it not waiting for a second offer."Wow, kid got some balls."
"Who's a kid?" Yeah it burns but just for a while, having the drink course through my body was heavenly, but I wasn't taking a second, don't want that slag snitching on me.'ooh he came back drunk'
"You. I'm three months older."
"How'd you know?" He was right, the day of his birthday had been so noisy, everyone couldn't help but know.
"Saw your file. You're quite popular in school."
He saw my file? Wow. That's unexpected. "Yeah, bad popular. At least you know what it's like to be good popular."
"Don't get me started on that. It's irks me seriously, just want some quiet time to myself. Only get it during lunch cause I have to sneak out with dumb excuses. 'Gotta take a pee.' 'Going to the nurse.' So tired of those freaks." He groused, I laughed at his irritation. "So, back to the conversation starter."
"Why'd you look at my file?" I asked with a raised brow.
"Not that, but what's wrong with it?"
"A gay looking at my file? Doesn't sound weird?"
"Gay? Why'd u think I'm gay?" He leaned on the table as if inspecting me.
"You're one of Kavien's friends ."
"So all his friends should be gay?" He scoffed a laugh. Now he said it, I realized how it wrong it was, I just assumed he was gay. Oh yeah one of my dumb times. "But you're right. I am." It was my turn to scorn at him. "Okay, wanna make a scene with me?"
"What do you want?"
"A boyfriend." He laughed prolly at the shock on my face. "I need a boyfriend to come out."
"Why?" I found myself asking.
"It's best if you don't know." He smirked.
"What 'bout Kavien?" I was being nosy. Nosy one thing I never do.
"Kav? OMG, you think he's my boyfriend?" I nodded. "No. No. Not in a million years."
"Why? I mean you're both in the community. There's gotta be a possibility." I shrugged.
"Wow, I didn't make you out to be the curious type but, you won't get it, if you're not in the community."
I wanted to ask why I've never seen him on other Thursday nights, since he was one of Kavien's friends but I didn't push and let it drop.
"So are you in or not?"
"Not. I'm not gay." I declined.
I didn't say no because coming out as gay would add to my already tarnished reputation or him dating a heartless dweeb was bad for his own reputation. Or what my dad would say, none of that. I said no cause I saw the little pout his lips were forming and momentarily, just a flash thought it cute. One article I read sometime said, one stereotype of gays was to turn straights, gay. I knew I was straight, had a girlfriend once when I was fourteen but her parents moved, we couldn't keep a long distance relationship and broke up.
"Chill man. I didn't say you'd have to be gay," He laughed, standing from the chair, "But I really enjoyed your company this and the silent ones. See ya." He didn't let me reply and strutted to the private room.
I stood there staring at his back till he disappeared. I've fucked up my chances of being friends with him. Well, I didn't need friends, he had a lot that he called then freaks.
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