章節 39: Chapter 39
School started again. The second semester that would include very little time, and a lot more exams.
Which was why Gakushuu was once again hiding away at Karma's place to finish up his reports instead of doing them at school.
He slowly stroked the cat sitting on his lap as he reviewed one of the festival requests that had been given to him by an over enthusiastic class rep.
Karma was out getting groceries and Gakushuu was far too busy as usual. So he was undoubtedly surprised when the front door slammed open loudly.
"Oh, there's my baby boy!" A woman squealed loudly as she walked into the house like it was her own.
Gakushuu jumped almost a foot up in the air in surprise. He had been far too used to getting the peace he needed in Karma's house.
So what the hell?
"And who might you be?" He asked, letting his cat run away without a protest. He was being quite polite for someone being rudely intruded on.
The woman gasped loudly when she saw the cat.
"Honey! Karma got a cat!" She squealed loudly in delight.
"What?" A distinctly male voice came from outside. Gakushuu blinked in surprise to see a red haired man wearing glasses enter the house carrying a huge suitcase. "No, we don't keep animals. We don't want the flea situation to repeat again, after all."
He took a look at Gakushuu, blinked a few times, looking mildly disturbed.
"Honey, I thought our son was a redhead?" He asked, his voice quite loud in the empty room. The woman let out a fake laugh as if to cover up the words.
"Shut up, Fū-kun. He probably dyed it. He's a teenager. They make silly decisions all the time!" She whispered back.
"But the pictu-" the man started saying when the woman stamped on his feet abruptly. He yelped in surprise.
Gakushuu felt a headache forming.
"My apologies, but-"
"Oh darling, our son is so polite to us! Don't worry dear. We might have been gone a while so you didn't recognise us. We're your parents."
Well…
Fuck.
Gakushuu internally cursed at the revelation even though he had been suspecting just the same since the moment he saw the father. He was pretty similar to Karma.
Except the man was wearing glasses. And he seemed like someone who got led around…hm, actually, wasn't Karma the same too?
Gakushuu got distracted by an image of Karma following Gakushuu around like a puppy and felt like giggling. No way would Karma ever do something like that.
This man seemed far more normal at first glance than Karma ever was.
But the most awkward part of it was-
"So, Karma honey. How about you help mommy get her luggage to her room?" She asked him sweetly.
Double fuck.
"Uh, actually-" he started trying to explain again when the door opened far more gently.
"Did one of your friends drop by, Shuu? A taxi just passed me by and I could swear it came from…here-" Karma looked up after taking off his shoes.
He held a bag of groceries in his hand and was staring at the two people in the living room, clearly recognising them at the first glance.
"I see you invited a couple of strangers, Shuu." Karma smiled flatly. "How nice of you, but shouldn't they be on their way home now?"
Gakushuu winced. Then sighed as his parents gaped at their son, and said son ignored them to go keep the groceries in the kitchen.
"Hello," he faced the two with a wry friendly smile. "My name is Asano Gakushuu. I'm a friend of Karma's."
The couple blinked at him. The mother got an irritated expression as she stated at the back of her son, and then at Gakushuu.
"Would you like some help getting your luggage to your room?" He offered. Karma came to the living room and snorted.
"They can just live in a hotel. Like they've always done," he said coldly. "The rooms aren't cleared out anyway since I had no idea you were coming."
"Well," the woman stuttered. "Karma, honey. We sent a letter telling you we were coming!"
Karma looked at the two, his face the picture of confusion.
"A letter? People still use letters these days?" He asked almost innocently. The man got angry.
"Don't behave like that to your own mother, Akabane Kama!"
"Karma!" The woman hissed, correcting the name. Karma's lips twitched up, a disgusted expression on his face. Gakushuu wanted to face palm but he also didn't want to hear the awkward silence that would come from realizing they were airing their dirty laundry to someone else.
Then he realized a way to get this over with. Of course the answer was to play pretend.
"Since the rooms aren't cleared out, how about I recommend you a hotel? I know someone who owns a hotel nearby. I'm sure you'll be quite happy with their suite and the facilities they offer. Should I call a car for you?" He led them back towards the door.
The woman's lip twitched downward unhappily.
"Is it a five star?" She asked, flipping her hair back, with an irritated look. She took out sunglasses from somewhere and put them on. "I'm not good with places below a five star."
Gakushuu shot Karma a look. Karma smirked back at him, giving him a merry wave.
"It's a five star," he reassured, as he called for a car. He led them through a conversation on things they liked and soon the couple were laughing cheerily as they got in the car.
Gakushuu called the hotel and asked them to take extra good care of them and offer them every single amenities they could aside from any kind of transportation.
Then he went back to Karma, giving the other boy a hug.
Clearly from the surprise on Karma's face, he haven't seen the letter, but his mother seemed like the kind of anal woman who wouldn't mess up a simple letter sending.
He let Karma take a few minutes to just breathe in his arms.
That was far too abrupt and seemingly unreasonable an appearance. It sounded like a terrible version of Karma's own habits so it seemed normal, but his father had said something that sounded like 'picture'.
He needed to look for the letter and hope it wasn't lost in transit somewhere instead of simply misplaced.
"I can't believe they came back," Karma mumbled against Gakushuu's neck, the venom in his voice far too obvious. Gakushuu pulled Karma along to the couch, and curled around him, stroking his back comfortingly.
Karma kept his head down, against Gakushuu's shoulder. He wasn't crying, just breathing. Gakushuu's lips twisted into an ugly frown.
What was he thinking?
That evening, Gakushuu and Karma cooked together, their voices remained quiet but there was never silence. When Gakushuu left, he left Karma an address and an embrace.
The worst part of being young was always the way he couldn't fully protect the people he wanted to.
Ren, Hinata, Karma, and many more. So many people had problems with their guardians that couldn't be solved as easily as he liked.
And then there was his guardian. The one who loved to create the most number of problems.
Gakushuu's breakfast with his father was a slow affair that his father dragged out until Gakushuu was forced to grit his teeth with annoyance to not scream.
He glared at his father as he ordered a second round of coffee, and kept Gakushuu there for no reason.
Gakushuu spent the whole time glaring at his father, feeling impatience building despite all efforts not to. Gakuhou, sensing it, laughed to himself.
Gakushuu's temper snapped.
"You're so petty!" He slammed his hand on the table, making sure not to spill coffee, even in his irritation. His father took coffee far too seriously.
Gakuhou's eyes flicked from his paper to his son then back down again. He calmly took a sip from his cup of coffee.
"Control your impatience, Asano-kun. It doesn't suit your demeanor as the Student Council President," he reminded. Gakushuu scoffed, taking a picture out of his jacket and throwing it on the table.
"Then how about you choose between being a Principal or father already?" Gakushuu placed his hands on the table and leaned over it, beyond angry and holding onto reason by a slim thread. "Is that you being my father or class E's principal? Because it sure looks to me like you're not holding yourself to the strict standards you used to."
"That has nothing to do with me," Gakuhou denied, sipping his coffee again. Gakushuu sneered.
"I bet. And his parents suddenly coming back in the middle of the mess has nothing to do with you either, right?" Gakuhou paused at that.
" 'The mess?' " He quoted, his eyes focusing on Gakushuu with an intense focus. "What mess exactly are you referring to?"
Suddenly it was like Gakushuu got drenched in cold water by that question. Ice slipped down his spine, and suddenly it was fear that filled him, not the heat of protective anger.
He slipped up.
Gakushuu's lips twisted wryly.
"Exactly what you think it means, father . I knew what I was getting into. But did you? So, what are you going to do, give up your son to be mind wiped?" He smiled cruelly, feeling like he was throwing himself off the cliff himself instead of waiting for his father to do it for him this time. "Wasn't I your greatest student, father? Will you discipline me for knowing too much now?"
Gakuhou placed his cup down with a clink and Gakushuu had to suppress the trepidation he felt. He was already fucked. He might as well go down swinging.
"What's next? I get too good and you'll put me down?" Then Gakushuu hid his smile behind a hand mockingly, "Oh wait, you've already done that."
Gakuhou smiled placidly, and Gakushuu twitched, falling silent. Then in spite of himself, he made himself form more words. He wasn't a doll to be controlled by habits.
"And so? Will you tell me or should I continue going about my day already? Because I will."
"Go," Gakuhou said instead. Gakushuu paused, irritated.
"That's it?" He asked, grabbing his bag.
"What more would you like to hear, Gakushuu?" He asked, a smile in his voice. Gakushuu clenched his teeth.
"Something would be nice," he turned around to face his father, " something that tells me that you're not just meaninglessly trying to control and ruin my life!"
To his horror, Gakushuu felt the first sting of tears as he spoke. He stopped, taking a breath, turning away. He would never let himself cry in front of this man.
"I have never tried to ruin your life," Gakuhou said, his voice sounding honest. Gakushuu quivered before he took a deep breath.
"I wish I could believe you," he said quietly before walking out.
He didn't walk towards the school, instead turning away from the direction. With Karma's place off limits, Gakushuu had lost another one of his escapes.
He stopped in the middle of a street, taking deep breaths. His eyes stung, his throat hurt from the words he was suppressing. His heart felt heavy.
Maybe he was simply being dramatic, but it was hard to feel like something was truly his anymore.
His shoulders dropped, the heel of his hands dug into his eyes, granting him no relief. He ducked away and changed into casual clothes.
He just felt tired. Chiho was too much effort and he didn't want to always keep making excuses all the time to every single guy who approached him when he looked upset.
He walked by a park and just sat on a bench under a shade, dropping a hand over his eyes. Then he closed his eyes and let himself drift off in his mind.
Sometime after the sun rose higher, he sensed someone sitting down beside him. He wanted to ignore them, but he could feel the way the person's attention was fixed on him.
He sighed and opened his eyes blearily.
An oddly shaped man in a suit was sitting beside him. His face was oddly circular and his body seemed far too fluid.
Koro-sensei , he thought.
"What do you want?" He bluntly asked instead. The man made a startled noise.
"Ah, I should have introduced myself. I swear I'm not some kind of creep!" The man defended himself with futility.
"Makes you sound more like a creep," Gakushuu told him, planning his hand over his eyes again. He let out a tired breath.
"Ah, can I ask what you seem so tired of at such a young age, young man?" He asked Gakushuu, curiously.
"Has age ever been a proper indication of what a person had gone through?" He answered with another question. The other man laughed.
"That's true, but youth is the time to make mistakes and grow from them. Even if there is suffering, it is the time you grow from it the most!" Gakushuu hid his face in his elbow at those words.
"I want a refund then," Gakushuu complained uselessly. His voice quivered at the end and he shut up again. He wanted to sigh again.
It just wasn't his day.
Why was he so emotional suddenly?
The man laughed.
"No matter how much older you get, problems never really go away. You just get better at dealing with them. Face things head on, or maybe slip by them. You can always find new ways to live," he told Gakushuu.
His voice was gentle, like he was trying to coax a hurt animal.
"I'm just getting tired of the same old problem again and again. The answer isn't even in my hands anymore, it's in someone else's, and every time, I just have to get through the backlash of someone else's choices," Gakushuu tried to explain his predicament.
Every time he did anything, it felt like he was always losing control. Control over things, people, situations. Everything.
And it was his father doing something or the other. Making a mess out of things. He just wanted time to stop and breathe. He wanted a proper escape, and not just a way to stall.
It had been enough, once, but it wasn't anymore. He just…needed a way out now.
"Sometimes, instead of trying to hold every single variable in your hands, it's easier to just go with the flow," the man put a hand on Gakushuu's shoulder.
"If you burden your mind with thinking about every problem you have to face, you will end up missing the one right in front of you. Slow down and enjoy what you have. Take the days one at a time. Take a deep breath and look at what you have. Solve the problem that comes at you, one at a time," he pressed down on Gakushuu's shoulders, like he wanted the understanding of the words to seep into his skin, and reach bone deep.
But Gakushuu actually felt pretty damn good about it. He…had never actually gotten any kind of reassurance from people.
He knew he was capable, and everyone around him did too. But the thing was, no one actually treated him like someone who was still figuring out a way through life. They treated him like he had all the answers to every problem in existence.
Sometimes, all you needed was someone to just acknowledge that there was, in fact, a problem.
Gakushuu could solve them himself, but even in the midst of all the self-confidence in himself, he needed some sort of support from a guardian, or a parental figure too. Or maybe more so, because he was always venturing out to do things himself.
How many times had he put himself at risk to gain even more in return? How many times had he had only his mind to keep him going? How many times had he made it out of a tricky situation by the sliver of a thread?
Gakushuu wasn't inhuman. He wasn't omniscient, or omnipotent. He was born a little special, made to work a little harder, and maybe yearned for things that were a little out of reach.
He didn't need the push his father always gave him. He just needed a hand to hold him steady instead. He could find his own path forward, and not the one his father wanted for him.
When Gakushuu opened his eyes again, his shoulders far more relaxed than they had been before, the position of the sun had changed and the man who sat beside him wasn't there anymore.
Gakushuu smiled to himself, acknowledging the word that popped into his head with no small amount of irony.
"Thanks…sensei."
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票