30評論
4.02
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- 故事發展
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- 世界背景
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寫檢討
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The only reasonable and consistent thing is the writing, with few to no grammatical errors. Keep it up. While the rest is going downhill by the chapter. Maybe it's me but it starts to get boring fast. Whatever it is keep doing you. [img=recommend]
1st 4 chapters were promising but after that it's like the author changed and a perverted idiot took his place and everything went downhill (i read till chap 18): 1. Nobody is questioning how a 6-8 yr old is writing p*rn books or how he came up with the fast food restaurant, hamburger ideas and is soo mature/knowledgeable for his age (and personally i hate Mc's that act too mature/smart when they are below 10-12) 2. He is child grooming women even if it's unintentionally. 3. Lots of cringe moments especially chap 5 and 17 (his interaction with women and ino) 4. The prostitute arc was just weird/unnecessary 5. It's hinted soo far that a 21 yr old prostitute is probably crushing on a 6-8 yr old mc 6. This depends on the reader but it looks like it's gonna be a slow harem ff (due to slice of life). Since in 17 chapters Mc already has 3 potential LI who are: A. An Oc that i forgot her name (amber hair girl) B. The prostitute C. Ino
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This is a unique take on the Ninja world we are familiar with. I enjoy the story and would recommend it. I personally enjoy the whole burger business add in.
It's a great Naruto fanfiction!! 👍👍 It have a good translate/grammar.. I hope he can make a different, not just follow the plot (hope he can save many who can be saved), it fine if it just a little different (so he still have his knowledge)... I like MC/Yasui character, he's smart, sly, etc.. But it infuriating to see he make a fool sometimes (when he reject Tachibana and Ino, he said so pitiful reason), it's not fit with Uchiha persona, who quite and calm, he's not Naruto who loud and say non sensed sometimes.. 😒😒😅 I like his idea to write a book (maybe not only smut/porn book, but other genres too).. I also liked how he open restourant in Naruto, it's a very great idea.. But I think his strategy to give free food when he's overwhelm is not good.. His strategy to ask Naruto to use Multi Shadow Clone is good, he can help make and sell only burger (not free though).. He can give discount for grand opening, but not free 😁😁 Can't wait to see next chapter.. Keep up the good work author san 😁😁👍👍
Love it so far! Especially the newest chapter! 😂😂😂😂 Gotta admit that it might not be for some people with weak hearts xD. But for others, it's a good read.
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good fanfiction👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
if i was reincarnated as an uchiha on the day of uchiha massacre,i would try to kill sasuke just to spite Itachi. :)😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Well, this is interesting and boring at the same time, 27 chapters and they barely have any equipment, also there are several chapters in which the plot doesn't advance, apart from that the character interactions are fun but there are several inconsistencies.
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An Excellent read. What! I'm too lazy to write more, just read the 1st chapter to know whether it is for you or not.
Read at you own risk. It starts good i will give it that but soon after it becomes cringe.
The writing is above average. The grammar is fine but the character itself is too mixed of a personality. Sometimes he acts smart sometimes Impulsive and reckless to absolutely cringe. Interactions seem a bit forced but that is because it seems incomplete. Like you wanted to start but got trailed off. The update stability is fine. The world background is also nicely done. Hope you continue writing. Fic is good.
Great story. I see a lot of potential. The writing qualtiy is also really good. Really recommend this fan-fic.😎
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Very good. Great writing quality updates, story, character design, and how the author has used information from naruto which is a mix of stuff from the novel and anime so I would say give it a try.
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
if i was reincarnated as an uchiha on the day of uchiha massacre,i would try to kill sasuke just to spite Itachi.
Yes it is good recomend a read Hiruzen is like this moneky in this novel he taking all the money lol
I recommend this fanfic to you since the Mc is not an a*ssh*le or an emo 🖤 and the author does a good job for the writing. I just hope that the author will not abandon this story like many naruto fanfics that never ended on webnovel.
Can't wait to see what happens. The flow of writing is pretty good. Personally, I would like to see some good romance scenes. Crossing fingers.
[img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update] more more more more
mc's decision makes me give up. he didn’t think about the consequence of his action.
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The only reasonable and consistent thing is the writing, with few to no grammatical errors. Keep it up. While the rest is going downhill by the chapter. Maybe it's me but it starts to get boring fast. Whatever it is keep doing you. [img=recommend]
1st 4 chapters were promising but after that it's like the author changed and a perverted idiot took his place and everything went downhill (i read till chap 18): 1. Nobody is questioning how a 6-8 yr old is writing p*rn books or how he came up with the fast food restaurant, hamburger ideas and is soo mature/knowledgeable for his age (and personally i hate Mc's that act too mature/smart when they are below 10-12) 2. He is child grooming women even if it's unintentionally. 3. Lots of cringe moments especially chap 5 and 17 (his interaction with women and ino) 4. The prostitute arc was just weird/unnecessary 5. It's hinted soo far that a 21 yr old prostitute is probably crushing on a 6-8 yr old mc 6. This depends on the reader but it looks like it's gonna be a slow harem ff (due to slice of life). Since in 17 chapters Mc already has 3 potential LI who are: A. An Oc that i forgot her name (amber hair girl) B. The prostitute C. Ino
[img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
This is a unique take on the Ninja world we are familiar with. I enjoy the story and would recommend it. I personally enjoy the whole burger business add in.
It's a great Naruto fanfiction!! 👍👍 It have a good translate/grammar.. I hope he can make a different, not just follow the plot (hope he can save many who can be saved), it fine if it just a little different (so he still have his knowledge)... I like MC/Yasui character, he's smart, sly, etc.. But it infuriating to see he make a fool sometimes (when he reject Tachibana and Ino, he said so pitiful reason), it's not fit with Uchiha persona, who quite and calm, he's not Naruto who loud and say non sensed sometimes.. 😒😒😅 I like his idea to write a book (maybe not only smut/porn book, but other genres too).. I also liked how he open restourant in Naruto, it's a very great idea.. But I think his strategy to give free food when he's overwhelm is not good.. His strategy to ask Naruto to use Multi Shadow Clone is good, he can help make and sell only burger (not free though).. He can give discount for grand opening, but not free 😁😁 Can't wait to see next chapter.. Keep up the good work author san 😁😁👍👍
Love it so far! Especially the newest chapter! 😂😂😂😂 Gotta admit that it might not be for some people with weak hearts xD. But for others, it's a good read.
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good fanfiction👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
if i was reincarnated as an uchiha on the day of uchiha massacre,i would try to kill sasuke just to spite Itachi. :)😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Well, this is interesting and boring at the same time, 27 chapters and they barely have any equipment, also there are several chapters in which the plot doesn't advance, apart from that the character interactions are fun but there are several inconsistencies.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
An Excellent read. What! I'm too lazy to write more, just read the 1st chapter to know whether it is for you or not.
Read at you own risk. It starts good i will give it that but soon after it becomes cringe.
The writing is above average. The grammar is fine but the character itself is too mixed of a personality. Sometimes he acts smart sometimes Impulsive and reckless to absolutely cringe. Interactions seem a bit forced but that is because it seems incomplete. Like you wanted to start but got trailed off. The update stability is fine. The world background is also nicely done. Hope you continue writing. Fic is good.
Great story. I see a lot of potential. The writing qualtiy is also really good. Really recommend this fan-fic.😎
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Very good. Great writing quality updates, story, character design, and how the author has used information from naruto which is a mix of stuff from the novel and anime so I would say give it a try.
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
if i was reincarnated as an uchiha on the day of uchiha massacre,i would try to kill sasuke just to spite Itachi.
Yes it is good recomend a read Hiruzen is like this moneky in this novel he taking all the money lol
I recommend this fanfic to you since the Mc is not an a*ssh*le or an emo 🖤 and the author does a good job for the writing. I just hope that the author will not abandon this story like many naruto fanfics that never ended on webnovel.
Can't wait to see what happens. The flow of writing is pretty good. Personally, I would like to see some good romance scenes. Crossing fingers.
[img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update] more more more more
mc's decision makes me give up. he didn’t think about the consequence of his action.