章節 122: Chapter 119
" Hey, Miles, have you seen Austin lately by any chance?"
Three classes had already passed, and I now knew for a fact that he wasn't actually at school. And it bothered me more because he had in a way assured me he'd be there. I didn't get him at all. Miles shut his locker and turned around, then he leaned against it and casually nodded.
" Yeah, I gave him a ride today morning, "
" A ride to where?"
" The gas station, his bike ran out. I left him there. "
" Did he tell you where he was going?"
Miles frowned in clear confusion, then he looked around and chuckled.
" School? Why?.. isn't he here? "
I told him he wasn't and he narrowed his gaze in thought. Then he shook his head and stood up straight.
" I don't know dude, he said he'd find me at lunchtime since there's something we had to talk about. Had his backpack and everything. "
I took out my phone to confirm whether there had been any texts from him even though I knew there weren't. He had lied. And I got even more angry at myself because I had really been looking forward to seeing him. Even if I had no plans of getting back to how we had been, I had hoped I'd get to talk to him at least, and he had made me think he was actually going to show up.
" I'm sure he's fine. You know how he is, school really isn't his thing. "
I forced myself to nod, I was still trying to figure out how Austin's mind worked. How was he so damn capable of forsaking all his responsibilities like that and not really caring at all. His absence wouldn't go unnoticed, and he had already gotten into trouble over that a few times. He was surviving on second and third chances and he just didn't care. And if he didn't then I was also going to prevent myself from doing so. I really wanted to both call and text him but there was no way I'd let myself do so.
It had gotten to a point where it was easier to let him learn the hard way. He needed to learn that the world didn't actually revolve around him. I wasn't going to keep wasting my time trying to get him to follow the line, it was exhausting and I had to set my priorities straight.
And he could have at least told me he had no plans of going to school. He just wanted me to keep on losing my mind over him and I was seconds away from going completely nuts. I switched off my phone throughout the rest of the day. And while Max and I were walking home afterwards, he suddenly asked me whether he ought to ask Kira out because he really wanted to. It was the first time he had dared to initiate that specific conversation. I had always assumed he'd keep his feelings to himself for eternity.
I however, had no response to his question. He claimed he didn't want to lose her friendship, but that it was getting harder to be around her and not have her know. I knew that as a friend, I should have probably urged him to go ahead and confess. But from my observation over the last years, Kira didn't really like him like that. I knew there was no way to be completely sure since she was her own person,but I just knew. And if Max went ahead and confessed, then things would definitely change between them. Even if they still continued being friends, it wouldn't be the same as it has been before.
In the end, I asked him to really think things through before he declared his feelings for her. And it also didn't help the situation that Kira was currently interested in someone else. A guy she had met at a toy store while she was watching over her siblings. She had told me about him over the phone some days back. And it was the very first time she had sounded actually interested in someone for reasons other than his physical attributes.
" God! Why does this have to be so fucking hard?!" Max asked me and I pressed his shoulder. In a way, I knew exactly what he was going through in terms of love and disappointment.
We changed the subject, and he chose to talk about the one person I was trying not to think of.
" Why doesn't your boyfriend just drop out? Not like he has anything to lose, guys been to school as many times as I've passed my chemistry test. "
Max had never passed his chemistry test. Which was exactly his point. I didn't make any remarks on that issue because I just didn't feel like doing so. And the more time passed, the more I realized that love truly was blinding. Because of it, I had ignored all the things that were wrong with Austin and I. I ought to have sat him down and made him realize just how much he was messing up, but I had been too occupied with looking at his goddamned eyes!
Max and I eventually parted ways. I went home first, there was nothing for me to do there but I just felt like spending some time in my room. It wasn't even about getting time go think,that was the opposite of what I was aiming for actually. I just wanted to close my eyes for some time and disappear because despite how much I aimed to not be affected by his absence, the truth was that it was stealing the air straight from my lungs.
I only switched my phone back on when I got to the store. But there was still nothing from him. It especially sucked when I realized the psycho was online but was just choosing to remain quiet. So I figured that two could play that game.
Miles texted to tell me that he had met up with Austin and he was fine so there was no need for me to keep worrying. Even told me where they were,which was some park close to their home, I thanked him and that was the end of it. An hour before my shift ended, he called, I watched the phone ring without doing a thing. It was hard because I really wanted to pick it up, but I didn't feel like he deserved it. I didn't care whether we had already landed on the childish category. He called me three times before giving up. I also heard some texts coming in and I was certain they were from him so I didn't bother looking....at first that is. But then my curiosity got the best of me and I checked.
There were nine of them, all from him.
It was just him apologizing and trying to explain that 'something urgent ' had come up. Then he asked me to stay at the store since he was on his way to pick me up. That was the only one I chose to respond to. And my response came in the form of a short, " Don't bother. " And because I knew him way too well,I decided to close up earlier than required. There really was no need for him and I to get into another argument and I felt as if we would. But I heard his bikes engine just as I finished closing up. I ignored it and began walking, inwardly cursing when I realized it was following me. Then suddenly he was right beside me, his pace slow in an attempt to match my steps.
" I really was planning on going to school today, " were the first words he spoke. I knew how to tell when he was being honest, and this was one such moment. But it didn't change the fact that he hadn't shown up.
" It's your life,you can do whatever the hell you please, " I told him.
" Don't talk like that, "
" Like what?"
" Like you're fed up with me. And can you please stop for a second?"
I'm not even sure why he asked me to stop since he blocked off my path with his bike. I hadn't even intended to stride away but the first thing he did was reach over and hold my arm to keep me in place.
" I really don't understand why you're being like this, "
I scoffed and gave him a passive glance before looking away.
" What urgent thing came up? Is your family okay?"
That to me seemed like the only thing urgent enough to capture all his attention. So when he told me it wasn't about them, I nodded and waited for the other part of that explanation, but it never came.
" I have to go Austin " I informed him before trying to gently pull my arm away from his hold. But despite how slight it was, I wasn't able to pry free.
" Come on, just quit being like this already. I fucking miss you. "
I wasn't being 'like' anything. He just sucked when it came to both listening and owning up to stuff.
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