章節 116: Chapter 113
" I'm not asking you to move-"
" Good cause I wasn't going to. "
There was utterly no way I would have done that. The news was however shocking.
" Why did you decide to? All of a sudden?"
She told me that a friend of hers and who was a customer at the diner had offered her the position and there was no way she would have turned it down. That she was going to be getting three times what she was currently making.
" This way you won't even have to worry about college, you were planning on going...right?"
I studied her skeptically and slowly walked towards her, stopping a couple of steps away and crossing my arms. I suddenly got too curious, I just wanted to know what was actually going on. Perhaps she had something up her sleeve and that's why she was acting all caring and considerate. I just wasn't buying it one bit. It felt fake and I wanted it to stop.
" Okay, what's actually going on here?"
She acted all surprised and confused, as if she didn't understand what I was referring to even though I knew she did. I arched a brow and simply waited to hear what she had to say.
" What do you mean?"
" You know what I mean! What's up with you? Are you okay, is there something you want from me because if that's the case you could just ask, you don't have to act all affectionate. "
Her face fell and she looked away, looking all hurt and sad. It was a bitter truth, but the wedge between us was technically permanent. It was almost impossible for us to fix things.
" Look Kyle, I know I haven't been the best mum to you, "
Those words were a pure sign that she wanted us to engage in a very weird conversation. I didn't want us to talk about all her faults and for her to assure me that she had changed. If she had then that was great, but I just didn't wanna talk about it. There was no use reflecting on anything. I never let myself think of the things she had made me go through because they were too many. I almost couldn't look at her with any respect and I definitely didn't consider her someone to look up to. All I had ever gotten from her was pain, physical and otherwise. The fact that I had learnt how to hold my own against her didn't mean I had forgotten everything she had ever done to me. The simple truth was that she was a bad mother and an even worse human being. People didn't change overnight. It was only a matter of time before she relapsed again. And plus, she was going to Miami, it was well known for its spirited living. With the nonstop parties and everything. Hell! There were chances she was lying about the job and only wanted to go there for the enjoyment of it all.
And she was acting all loving so that I wouldn't suspect anything when in real sense she was indirectly abandoning me. Why else would she not want to go with me? That actually made more sense.
" I stopped drinking, " she said in a low voice. Almost as if she were speaking more to herself than to me. She had been drunk just the previous week so I didn't take her words seriously. But I wasn't going to argue, I just wanted to go to bed and sleep.
" I'm happy for you...and good luck on your new job, I mean it. "
I could tell she had a lot more to say, and she wished I would stay and listen, but I told her goodnight and hurriedly walked away. After the exhaustion day I'd had, there was no way I was going to sit there and listen to her false promises. I would take myself through college if that's what it took. And even if she left, there wouldn't be that much of a difference. Actually, as awful as it sounded, I'd finally be able to get some peace of mind. I wouldn't have to constantly worry about where she was and what she was doing. Whether or not she was okay, not to mention having to take care of her while she was drunk. I had been doing that for way too long and I wouldn't mind a break.
I hoped she was serious about the job, but if it was a lie and an excuse for her to live more wildly then the consequences would be on her. I wouldn't be there to clean up after her and ensure she was comfortable.
I heard her call out my name but I had already taken a turn so I decided not to head back. I didn't even do anything that night, I just checked my phone for any texts, then I went straight to bed.
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" Hey, where's your head at?" Austin asked before he started walking over to where I was seated on his bed. We had been in his room for about twenty minutes after he rescued us from a very uncomfortable situation with his dad and stepmom. They had wanted us to just stay in the living room and chat with them while lunch was being prepared, and with time we had run out of things to talk about and it just became awkward. Khloe actually made me more comfortable than Austin's dad. She was easier to talk to and her character was really likeable. Austin's dad had really changed a lot. It was like he was a completely different person from who he had been while we had been young. I recalled that he used to make causal jokes and laugh alone, or he'd just find new ways to annoy us until Austin became frustrated and flipped out. But it had always been in a cute and loveable way. Now he just wore a stern face and only smiled once in a while.
" Are you okay? You've been like that since you got here, " Austin commented as he got on the bed and sat behind me, stretching his legs on either side of me before he held my shoulders and pulled me back to lie on top of him. I chuckled, asking him what he was doing, but I still went along with it. His room was just as large as I had imagined it would be. And to my surprise, it was well organized. But I was sure that wasn't his doing. He had stayed over at my place a couple of times so I knew he was just as messy as he used to be.
I wanted to tell him about my mum moving, but I thought of a new way to deliver the news. It was a bit cruel, but I was sure had it been him he would have done the exact same thing.
" Do you remember how my mum was acting all weird?" I asked him and he told me he did, asking me what was up. I wasn't the best at acting so I had to really maintain my composure.
" Austin?" I called out, then I turned back and looked up at him, feigning a look of utter worry and disappointment.
" What? Is something wrong, she okay?"
I looked away and sighed, feeling his fingers absentmindedly tap on my chest.
" She's fine, it's just that..."I went quiet to build up his curiosity as well as the tension, and when he asked me what it was, I held his hand in mine and inwardly smiled.
" I don't want you to freak out, okay?"
" Well if you don't tell me what's up soon I definitely will. "
I could feel his desire to know. I thought of it fkr a second, then I cleared my throat and sighed once more.
" She got a job offer....in Miami, and she's pretty set on moving there..."
He immediately sat up, his hand gripping my arm as he shifted to kneel in front of me on the spacious mattress.
" What are you saying?" He immediately asked, his voice shaky and his eyes wide with obvious fear. I actually regretted having chosen to tease him like that. I wanted to tell him to relax but he just kept on talking, telling me I better not be planning on doing what he thought I was. He even warned me against it, but his tone suggested he was more scared than he was angry.
" Hey, listen to me-"
" You're seriously planning on moving? Again?!...No, I won't let you, not this time, "
" I never said-"
" You'll move in with us, it's no big deal. But why the hell do you keep doing things like this? Just tell her you wanna stay here, I could even talk to her if-"
" I'm not going with her! " I cut in, it was clear he had a lot to say so that was the only way to get him to stop talking. But I couldn't help but notice how undone and freaked out he had become. It was flattering, but I also felt bad for having put him in such a spot.
" You're not?"
I shook my head and assured him I wasn't. That I had already told my mum I'd be staying and she had no problem with it. He took in a deep breath and let it out, sitting back on his heels and running a hand over his face. I watched the relief as it slowly overtook the stress which had built up in the blink of an eye.
" Shit! My hands are still shaking, " he seriously stated,but I couldn't help but laugh at the strong reaction.
" Is that what has you so worked up? That she's leaving?"
I shook my head and told him I really didn't care that she was, then I told him about her sudden wish to change and become the ideal parent.
" What did you tell her?" He asked, I simply shrugged and explained everything I had done. I had known he'd understand. He knew better than anyone how difficult my mum had made my life, but instead of being understanding, he seemed to rather disagree with what I had done.
" I never thought I'd say this to you, but that wasn't cool, " he told me. I scoffed and looked away.
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