章節 99: Chapter 96
I glanced at the number once more, unsure about what to say. It felt like ages since he had come over to the store, and I couldn't believe that I had almost forgotten about that. Perhaps because I had assumed it would be a one time thing before he went back to his normal life.
" Kyle, you there?"
I cleared my throat and looked around. I wasn't fully awake yet, I could still feel that sleep in my eyes, a testament to how tired I had actually been. Maybe my friends were right and I did actually do too much.
" Stevens?"
" I'm here. Hi, "
" Hi. "
He asked me whether I was working and I told him I wasn't, and when he said that was too bad, I frowned, wondering what he had intended to do. Probably come by the store again.
I actually liked him, in a normal and friendly way of course.And deep down I did feel a bit proud because come on,he was a famous singer, one that I loved,and he actually wanted to spend time with me. And had I been at the store I wouldn't have had an issue with him passing by because I had seen it on his features the last time how troubled he actually was. The world was a cruel place, I knew that first hand. When I took a moment to think about it, I found myself wondering how twisted and shallow it could be. Perhaps not the world, but the people in it.
Some of them atleast.
In my personal case, being judged because of who I was and who I chose to love was the equivalent of being judged based on other things,such as my height, or my eye color...or my age even. A majority would surely not understand, they'd think it was something I was making up or a role I was playing for sport. But the simple truth was that I had absolutely no control over that aspect of myself the same way I couldn't control the other natural things. And I could force myself to be someone else, but I would just end up feeling as if I'm living in another person's skin. It's why I said I was the happiest when I was with Austin. He understood, I knew he did.
And it was also why I was okay with helping out Reign in any way I could. Because I knew what that felt like, that lone feeling of seclusion. Of being alone even if you were in the largest of crowds. Even if he "fixed" every other part of himself and portrayed what people wanted to see, he was never going to actually feel like he was okay. Being caged in by your own personality was the worst kind of prison. You were the only one capable of getting yourself out, so if you were clueless about how to do it, you'd inevitably suffer in a silent battle.
" You don't have a problem with me calling you or anything, right? "
I suspected my silence was making him have second thoughts.
" Because if you do then--"
" No! It's fine, really. It's just that I was taking a nap, guess I haven't completely woken up. "
He chuckled.
" Yeah?"
" Mmh. "
" Sorry for waking you up then, "
" It's cool. Anyways, how are you? Is there anything you need?"
" I was hoping you were at the record store so I'd drop by. I kinda like talking to you. "
Forcing myself not to overthink and to simply take things plainly was a bit difficult. Reign had made it clear that he wasn't interested in me like that, and I had no reason to doubt him. And I'm not only saying that because it was technically illegally with me being underage and all. It's just that when he had been sharing his troubles with me, I could tell he was being sincere about them,and afterwards,he had seemed a lot more relieved. He smiled differently. Like he had been searching for someone to talk to and was glad he had finally found one.
" I won't be there till tomorrow, sadly. "
" Very sad indeed. "
" We can still talk over the phone though, if you want that is. "
" I would want that. "
I nodded even though he wasn't there, sitting more comfortably and placing a pillow on my lap, then I put him on speakerphone and placed the phone on the pillow since it would be less tiring.
" Oh, I listened to your new songs by the way, "
" Yeah? What do you think?"
" I really like them, BluePrint never disappoints. "
" Thanks, do you have a favorite one among the three?"
" Echo! Definitely!"
He gave out a short laugh. I was getting more comfortable talking to him and I liked that. Last time the tension had been extreme,but he had a way of making it easily fade away. I especially liked how he talked as if we had known each other for ages. And he was so open as well, he said whatever was on his mind. But I suspected he only did that with me because normally he always seemed so closed off.
" Slowly... gradually you fade away, baby our memories are like an echo..."
I was left a bit dumbstruck, even over the phone his voice was something else. Like warmth and softness, he had perfect control when it came to harmony. That one line had been stuck with me since I first listened to the song. I wanted him to sing a bit more but I didn't have it in me to ask.
" How can you just do that?"
" Do what?"
" Sing like that, " My tone was humorous, but also filled with genuine shock and curiosity.
" I'm flattered. That means more coming from a loyal fan. "
I smiled and combed a hand through my hair. Realizing that for some reason I hadn't washed up yet. I really was feeling lazy.
" Where are you now?"
I wasn't even sure why I asked. My "loyal fan" mind just really wanted to know. It's not everyday. you got the chance to talk with your favorite celebrity singer over the phone like it was the most normal thing in the world.
" My hotel room, why? "
" No reason. "
I heard him make this thoughtful sound from the back of his throat,as if he were contemplating something, and I hoped he wasn't thinking too much into why I had asked him that. I didn't want there to be any weirdness between us. Especially since I already knew so much about him because once he decided to share, he really followed through with it.
" Can I ask you something? I'm purely just curious I swear. "
I narrowed my gaze, then I told him to go ahead and ask.
" That day at the concert, in the washroom...you and your friend were talking about someone.....was he right? Do you like that guy?"
The question was weird no doubt, but I liked ignoring things and issues that I didn't want to think about, so I ignored the voice in my head telling me he sounded too interested. And because I wanted to make things clear, I decided to just tell him the reality of how things were. I suppose the more I got used to telling people the easier it would be.
" That guy's actually my boyfriend. We're dating. "
A short silence.
" Oh wow, really?"
" Yeah. "
" I'm happy for you then, and I wish you both the very best. "
" Thanks. "
" So does anyone know or are you keeping it hushed?"
When I told him that we were open about it, I could practically fill how amazed he was from the other side. And he got even more interested in the subject. He wanted to know how I felt and what it was like ,whether it was tough. And he even asked me whether I regretted making it public. His fascination was real. And as I replied to his questions, I could tell it was something he personally wanted to experience first-hand. He was talking about it like it was a strange phenomenon that could never occur to him. I had researched about him a bit more than usual. And I had come to learn that he had been working in the music industry since he had been fourteen. On TV shows and things like that. He had completed in several talent awards and had won about two of them. So in other words, he had always been in the limelight. Things cooled down for him when he joined the band, but he still couldn't be himself. With his reputation, it would definitely be a lot harder for him to make such a revelation to the public.He asked me how Austin and I had met, and it was as I was explaining our history that I also got curious about his.
" Have you ever liked someone..or dated anyone?"
If he dared mention CJ or any of the other band members I was going to go legitimately insane. But instead, he laughed in that light way of his again, leading me to think he hadn't, but then he said...
" I've had a few crushes, but nothing too serious though. Plus most of them were straight and in happy stable relationships. "
" What if you meet someone and you both mutually like each other?"
" I think I'd prefer it if that never happens. "
Hearing him say such a thing broke my heart. It didn't have to be like that, for anyone.
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