章節 18: Chapter 16
Apparently the teacher's name was Mr. Caddel, and I had been right about him being a compassionate soul who wished to find out the reason behind my attitude problem as he put it. He had realized that I had another lesson to go to and had let me go after five or so minutes of advice and unwanted counseling, but he had made me promise to look for him after that day's classes. I had promised of course. I was willing to do anything to get out of there, but there's absolutely no way I was going to hang around for more of his fucking pep talks. And it was a Friday, I was sure that by the time next week came by he'd have already forgotten about it all. And if not then I'd just tell him I had forgotten, or I had searched but hadn't found him. Whichever lie would fit best, I really didn't care.
When I got to my second class, Mrs. Fisher was about to walk in, I stood by the door and gestured for her to go in ahead of me. A sarcastic smile ony face which she didn't care for. I heard her scoff as she went through the entrance, that teacher did not like me and she wasn't trying to hide it. I rather liked the transparency. My eyes fell on Stevens the second I walked in, he was seated at the front, as usual. And for the first time he didn't pretend he hadn't seen me. And there was none of that spite he usually liked throwing my way. He just seemed casual, I walked to the back, it seemed as if the seat was usually preserved for me. The last time Mrs. Fisher had had asked me what happened to my alleged eye problem. My response had been a very earnest.." What eye problem?"
I placed my backpack on the desk and leaned back against the seat, liking that I was next to the window and there was an actual view of the outside. I wouldn't have to waste my time pretending I was listening. And I was still very drowsy, all I needed was sleep and for every school in the fucking state to burn down. It also wouldn't hurt if a few teachers were in them.
I took out my phone with the intention of going through the gallery as I normally did whenever I was bored out of my mind,but Mrs.Fisher eyed it and narrowed her gaze in warning at me. So I could do anything else that implied I wasn't paying attention but using my phone was where she drew the line? How very hypocritical.
I put the phone away and went back to staring out the window, but then a while later the kid seated Infront of me turned and placed a piece of paper on my desk, on top of my backpack. I wanted to ask him what the hell it was but he quickly turned around. I reached for the note. It seemed to have been ripped off a page. And when I unfolded it I immediately registered who it was from. I glanced at him but his attention was on whatever crap was being said.
" Stop it, will you? You could at least pretend to be paying attention " the note read. Smiling, I tucked it into the pocket of my denim jacket, but I didn't do as he asked. I didn't see any reason to pretend, if I didn't wanna be there then I didn't. There was no need to act like I was concentrating just to make little Mrs. Fisher feel better about waking up early to go to work.
But the mere fact that he had even bothered to pass over the note made me happy. I recalled the look on his face last night, when he had seen the things I had bought, I'd still been outside the store, watching from a distance to see whether he'd at least cheer up a bit. A part of me had feared that he'd place the things aside... maybe even toss them in the trash, but he'd done the exact opposite. And the way his face had automatically lit up, it made everything completely worth it.
It was crazy how many details of him I still recalled, there wasn't a thing about him that I had forgotten. All his likes and dislikes were glued to my brain, his reactions and the reasons behind his expressions. I probably knew Kyle Stevens better than even he knew himself. The bell rang eventually, I wondered whether there was another class in there after ours, if not I was going to use that space to take my long needed nap. Stretching, I felt my sleep take over. It was a wonder I still managed to keep my eyes open, I had slept less than two hours in the previous two days. I waited for everyone to move out, I'd just wait and see if other students came in. Hanging my backpack on the back of my seat, I placed my head on the desk's surface and closed my eyes. If there really was another class then I'd just leave when got there.
I hadn't even closed my eyes for a minute when someone tapped me, I concluded that there really was another class. Blowing out a frustrated breath, I looked up.
" Stevens,"
He was standing right next to me. Rubbing the sleep off my eyes, I took in the sight of him.
" Morning, " I casually said as I attempted to sit up straight, but I felt too lazy so I just stayed put, my head still rested on my arms. The desk wasn't the most comfortable piece of furniture but I had once ran away from home and ended up sleeping on my mom's grave when I was fourteen. I could manage it.
" You look tired, " he commented. And was that genuine concern I heard in his voice? Shrugging I told him I was good.
" Don't you have class to get to?" He then asked, and afterwards he turned to the exit where a couple of students had walked in. I inwardly cursed.
" Nope, free period, " I briefly explained. Then I sat up and stared back at the students who kept eyeing us with the most suspicious glances. They wouldn't drip it.
" Should I make you a fucking album? You can carry it around everywhere and look at it coz you clearly have nothing better to do, "
My tone wasn't mean when I said that but the level of hate that developed in their stares afterwards was almost shocking. But on the bright side, they stopped staring.
I turned to Kyle and found him staring at me like a stranger.
" Don't give me that look. "
" Was that really necessary?"
" What? I enjoy my personal space. "
" Fine then,I'll get out of your 'personal space "
He started to walk away but I gripped his sweatshirt and made him stay put. There was no crazy reaction. Standing, I used the grip to pull him even closer, his eyes never left my hand, but seconds later he came back to his senses and stepped back, then he immediately glanced to check whether anyone had seen anything.
" I warned you to stop that!"
" Walk with me, "
Taking my backpack, I placed my hand on his back and started leading him towards the door. His spine was so stiff I felt it through his clothes. He was about to warn me to let go but I spoke before he did.
" People will only notice if you make a big deal out of it. There's nothing weird about it, "
It was just a hand, he had to chill and take a breather. When we got to the hallway he backed off, then he shifted to face me, but his eyes were focused more on the space beside me because he seemed to be allergic to looking into my eyes for notable periods of time.
I yawned and ran a hand over my face, deciding that I'd just head over to the bleachers where I had found him the other day and take a nap. It seemed like the best option since there wouldn't be anyone around to disturb me.
" Didn't you sleep well last night?"
Smiling, I reached over and laid my palm on his cheek, his skin was unexpectedly cold. But I wasn't surprised, he had always been weird that way, it didn't matter how the weather was, as long as it was morning he'd be cold, then things would change in the afternoon and his body would gain some warmth, only for it to turn cold again in the evening. I turned him to face me and he willingly did his eyes were however elsewhere.
" Still can't look at me?" I teased and he swallowed, holding my wrist and making me let go. More students appeared and he kept some distance between us, like the last thing he wanted was to be related to me in any way. And I don't know whether I was seeing things but the students were staring more at him than at me.
" Don't you have class?" I countered the question and he seemed hesitant to answer, it was a simple question but he was considering the response so much I immediately filled it up on my own.
" You don't. "
Otherwise he wouldn't have been standing there, and he didn't seem to be in a hurry.
" I just wanted to thank you for last night, and to assure you that you don't have to ever do something like that again. "
" You sound so sexy in the morning, you know that? "
He stopped talking and openly frowned,then he stared at me in utter horror as he tried to think of something to say, but he came up short and resulted to darting his gaze around.
" What's up with you?" He seriously asked.
" What do you mean?"
" You know what I mean! Look, I don't know what your intentions are but--"
" My intentions?" I chuckled lightly and shook my head.
" You're making it sound like I'm planning on taking advantage of you or something. "
He immediately shushed me since some students were passing by, then he looked around and started walking down the hallway, I figured he was heading to the exit so I followed closely behind him.
" Why are you so on edge?"
" I'm not!"
" Sure you are, I haven't done anything...you're just reading too much into things, as always!"
" Oh spare me the bullshit!"
I winced, then I wrapped my hand around his nape and fell into step beside him.
" Have I mentioned that I like this version of you even better? "
" Please let go of me, "
He sounded like he was in danger and desperately needed help, and the more he reacts like that the more I was tempted to go on. Those reactions only served to confirm what I had figured out ages ago.
We got outside and I immediately covered my eyes, not having expected the sun to be so bright.
" I really need a nap, " I said more to myself than to him. He turned to me and narrowed his gaze, he seemed to be studying me intently.
" Come on, " he said afterwards, then he lightly placed his hand on my arm and started leading me towards the direction of the bleachers. I don't think he even realized he was holding onto me, it was more of an action bred by instincts than anything else. I kept quiet, then we got to the bleachers and he stopped, I thought he'd lead me up the steps but he rather went below them. And there was this little nook there, where either side was blocked off from view by these thick steel sheets which seemed to be extensions of the lower part of the stairs. It was too dark for him to study in there, but it was bright enough for me to see him. He led me in and proceeded to sit on the grass, leaning against the steel. He didn't ask me to sit, he just took out his phone and pretended I wasn't even there, but he wouldn't have led me all the way in there if he didn't want me to stay. I glanced around, it was definitely better than a vacant classroom.
" Thought you wanted to take a nap, " he finally spoke. I smiled, then I went over to where he was and sat down next to him.
" There's more room over there, " he pointed to the other side but I shook my head.
" I prefer it better here. "
I placed my backpack aside, catching a glimpse of his phone and realizing that he was still studying. It was some sort of chemistry related notes.
" Hey! What do you think you're doing?" he complained when I laid my head on his lap while facing up.
" Getting comfortable, don't move around to much, cool?"
" No! Not cool!"
He was whispering for some reason, and even though we were the only ones there he still glanced around the dim space with a nervous expression. I shushed him and closed my eyes. Placing my hands on my chest and letting my body relax. It felt so good to be that close to him....too good. He had lifted his hands slightly higher to make sure he didn't touch me, and I could feel him as he stared down at me. But then I heard him as he took in a deep breath..and a while later I felt his fingertips on the skin of my neck. Unsure yet curious.
My heartbeat increased.
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