章節 82: Bridges Burnt, or Mended?
Jackson had grown used to tackling his school days with his crutches. A lot of the time he didn't even have to think about it, traversing the halls and rooms was somewhat natural to him now. A crowded staircase was the only thing that really gave him trouble anymore.
His mind and eyes drifted to his leg as he made his way through the halls between classes. He stopped and lowered his foot to the floor, pressing down with it until it hurt. His brow furrowed in annoyance and he lifted his foot back up.
Before he could resume his travel, he was approached by a couple of familiar faces. 'Yo, how you been, man?' Marcus grinned at him. Sachin came over and dapped him up.
Jackson smiled, but it wavered slightly as he saw Eddie wasn't with them. 'Hey, what's good? I've been doing as well as I can with these.' He jostled his crutches.
'Bruh, when can you get rid of those things?' Sachin asked.
'Not soon enough. What's up?'
Jackson's two friends looked at one another, then back at him. 'Oh uh, nothing really, man. Just, we wanted to let you know of an upcoming track meet, thought you might like to come check it out this Friday.'
'Oh! Well, yeah! Of course. Is it the first meet this season?'
'Ehh, not exactly but you know that's not important, man. I'll text you the deets later, but uh yeah, we just thought it'd be nice to have you there, cheering us on, seeing how we suck now.' Marcus laughed quietly.
'Yeah, and it'd just be nice to hang out after it,' Sachin said.
'Right.' Jackson nodded. 'Eddie's gonna be there too, right?'
Marcus rubbed the back of his neck. 'Well … yeah.'
Sachin whacked him on the shoulder. 'Bruh, just tell him. Ugh, I'll do it.' He turned his attention to Jackson. 'Look, Jackson. We know you and Eddie have been weird ever since your accident—'
Jackson twitched at the word.
'—but you guys need to squash whatever beef has gotten between you. Like, bruh, it's been over a month now, come on.'
Jackson sighed and looked down. 'Yeah, you guys are right … it's stupid, and we shouldn't let this shit get between us and keep us from being friends. But I mean, it's really up to Eddie, he's the one who—'
'Man don't feed me that shit,' Marcus said. 'It's going on with both of y'all. Y'all need to air this shit out and that's a two-man thing. 'Cause this shit's mad awkward and it's making US feel weird so I can't even imagine how fucked up it must be for you and Eddie. But whatever it is, it ain't gonna go away until y'all talk about it.'
'Marcus is right. Just, during the lunch break, yeah? There's this food truck on the back street behind the school, we'll go there. Then you and Eddie can clear up whatever the fuck is going on.'
'Alright, alright. I get it. I'll talk with him if…'
'Don't worry, man, we'll make sure he talks with you too. Y'all need to end this shit now. We ain't little kids anymore, we can't just get mad over little shit and stop talking to each other … for months.'
Jackson smiled slightly. 'Thanks, guys. I'm sorry we haven't hung out as much recently.'
'Hey, that's on us too, man. When that leg of yours is better we need to start hanging out more like we used to.'
'Yeah, I'd like that.'
'Good good. … yo, lunch break, food truck, behind the school, don't forget yeah?'
'Yeah, yeah, I won't forget, we'll talk more then.'
Marcus and Sachin both dapped up Jackson and then went on their way to class. Jackson sighed softly, regathering his thoughts before he hobbled off to class as well.
Just as the lunch break started and Jackson began making his way towards the back of the school, he ran into Jasmine in the halls.
'Hey Jackson.'
'Oh! H-Hey Jasmine…' Jackson stared at her, forgetting what he was doing for a moment.
Her smile grew. 'Hehe, what's up?'
'Huh? Oh uh, a-actually I was just about to go and meet some friends… well, a former friend maybe, I'm not really sure… we haven't spoken a lot in a long time.'
'Everything okay?' She tilted her head.
'Oh, yeah, yeah it'll be fine. … I hope.'
'If you want I could come with you, offer some emotional or moral support, whatever works best.'
'Oh … no, no that's fine. Thank you but … I think this is something that's better handled between us. We just need to hash this shhh….stuff out. It's nothing you need to worry about.'
She put a hand on his shoulder. 'You're my friend, Jackson, so I'm going to worry about you either way. But, okay. I don't want to impose, and I'll give you some space and let you do this on your own if that's what you think is best.'
Jackson's cheeks burned red. 'Y-Yeah… th-thanks.'
'Good luck.' With a last, stunning smile, Jasmine went on her way.
Jackson stood there, stunned for a while longer before he snapped out of his stupor and hurried to the back gate.
Once there, he found Marcus waiting for him. 'Oh, Marcus, what's up?'
'Yo man, nothing, just here to make sure you know where to go. Sachin's with Eddie still. I just said I forgot something in my locker.'
'Oh, right, right. Well uh, best not keep them waiting?'
'Riiight.' Marcus started leading the way to the food truck.
It wasn't too far away, and it was a nice little Mexican joint, run by a couple of big, friendly-looking dudes. It was pretty popular by the looks of it with how many other students were lined up, or gathered around it waiting for their food, or already busy chowing down.
The tantalising smell of the food filled the air, and a low drone of chatter drowned out the ambience of the city. Already, Jackson was salivating.
Marcus brought Jackson over to where Sachin stood out in the line—Eddie was right beside him.
Eddie looked over, spotting Jackson. 'What the fuck?'
Jackson looked around in a bit of a panic. There were far too many people around for his liking. They weren't expecting him and Eddie to clear things up here, were they?
'Relax. We can grab some food and then go somewhere a bit quieter so y'all can talk it out,' Marcus said, moving in to stand beside Sachin and Eddie like everything was normal. Jackson awkwardly stood on the other side of Marcus, keeping his eyes down.
'I don't think I'm hungry anymore.' Eddie turned to leave, but Sachin's large hand on his shoulder kept him in place.
'C'mon, bruh. It's just talking. Just wait right here for a bit.'
Eddie glared up at the larger boy, but Sachin wasn't moving and his grip was like iron. Eddie sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. 'This is retarded.'
'If anything's retarded here it's both of y'all acting like this,' Marcus said.
'Bruh. Leave it. Food first, talking later.'
The air was tense and heavy, but the boys settled into silence, impatiently waiting as the line slowly moved forward.
Then, after they ordered, they stepped aside and waited in more awkward silence for their food to be ready.
Eventually, it was, and they all took their burritos and choice of soda can, and walked away from the food truck and the others crowding around it.
They found a bench and table to sit at. Marcus and Jackson took one side, Eddie and Sachin the other.
'So now what?' Eddie said.
'Bruh, why are you so mad?'
'You want to know why I'm mad? Jackson knows, why don't you ask him and he can tell you.'
'Hell nah, I asked you. Why are YOU mad.'
Eddie clenched his jaw and turned his gaze upon Jackson. 'Because he's lying.'
'What?' Both Sachin and Marcus were confused. 'The hell are you talking about?'
'He's lying, he's always lying to us, and he's been lying for… for I don't even know how long. Go on, Jack. Tell us how long you've been lying, for how long have you been lying every time you said you were "okay".'
Jackson blinked. 'Wh-What?'
Eddie slammed his fist on the table. 'Don't play dumb! You know what I'm talking about. You know what you did, and only you know how long you've been lying like that.'
Jackson was taken aback. His chest felt tight, and his mind was racing. 'I…' He had to stop and think, to get his bearings.
'You hurt yourself on purpose, tell them!'
'Oh my god.' Marcus rolled his eyes. 'Not this shit again.'
'Give it up, bruh. Jackson would never do—'
'I did!' Jackson blurted.
Marcus and Sachin stared at him.
'…Why?' Eddie finally said.
'W-Were you trying to get yourself killed? What the hell were you thinking, man?'
'No! Fuck … no I would… I'd never do that. I—'
'Then why?'
'Let him talk.' Sachin placed a hand on Eddie's shoulder, but even he looked pale at the revelation.
'I just… I didn't want to play football. I didn't think I was good enough, and I was too much of a coward to say anything.'
'You didn't … but you love football, why would you wanna stop?' Marcus said.
'Because I wasn't good enough!'
Marcus flinched back.
'Was it because we left you?' Eddie asked.
'What? No that's not…'
Eddie's shoulders shuddered and he laid his head in his hands, palms pressing into his eyes. 'Why couldn't you just tell us? We're your friends… how did we let it get so bad without seeing anything?'
'Eddie…' Jackson could see blame weighing down Eddie's shoulders. 'It's not your fault. I promise.'
'But we left you behind. We were a team in middle school, and then we all parted ways and left you while we chased after our own selfish dreams with track. We're not even a team there anymore.'
'I decided to focus on football alone.'
'But we're your friends.'
'So what?!'
Silence hung over the table. Eddie stared at Jackson through watery eyes.
'Just because we're friends doesn't mean we need to do everything together. And it doesn't make you responsible for everything that happens to me. It's not your fault, Eddie. None of you are at fault.'
'Yo, Eddie are you crying?' Marcus muttered.
'Shut up.' Eddie roughly wiped his eyes.
'But… why? Why didn't you think you were good enough, you were always the best,' Sachin said.
'Yeah well, not anymore.' Jackson looked away and clenched his fists, holding back a shiver.
'You should've said something,' Eddie said.
'I know that now.'
'Friends don't lie to each other like that! How are we meant to help you if you bottle all this shit up to yourself and never tell anyone?'
'Like you've been bottling up your anger?'
They went quiet again.
'Okay … well, I think we all know that now. We should always be open with each other, right?' Marcus said.
The others nodded.
'I'm sorry I didn't see how you were hurting,' Eddie said.
Jackson shook his head. 'It's not your fault. I'm sorry I didn't say anything.'
'I'll do better in the future.'
'Me too.'
'So are y'all gonna be friends again, now?' Marcus looked between them both.
They both nodded again.
'Hahaha. Yo, I think you guys need to hug it out and make it official.'
Both Jackson and Eddie didn't say anything.
'C'mon bruh, don't make me force you over there.'
Eddie snorted with laughter. 'Alright, alright I'm getting up… fuck, bro.' Eddie stood up and moved over to Jackson's side.
Jackson stood up. Then the two embraced tightly.
They held each other in silence for a while before Eddie said: 'I'm sorry.'
'Me too.'
'Best buds?'
'Always.'
Eddie let go and stepped back. Jackson sat back down. 'Hey uh, Marcus and Sachin told me about your meet coming up this weekend.'
'Yeah?' Eddie moved back to his seat as the others began eating.
'Yeah, and uh… well I was thinking of coming out to watch you guys.'
Eddie looked across at Jackson and then smiled slightly. 'I think I'd like that.'
Jackson smiled as well. Both boys looked as if there was a little less weight holding them down.
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