24評論
3.31
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寫檢討
So much potential at the start but the author got lazy or something with their translation really quickly and made it a headache to read due to the frequent use of idioms that have no meaning in English.
Мне понравилось, хотя герой и слишком мощный. [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
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if you are looking for lowkey mc this is not one of it, ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bro how can you make such a perfect plot twist from nowhere?And make the creation of the "system" logic in the limits of a fanfic?
20.02.2023 Hello, I decided to take a break from the story. Even though I know how to progress in the story, I have difficulty writing. I will not leave the story unfinished, but I plan to write another story for now and finalise the novel after completing it. Thank you for reading and for your support.
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
I really like it, but I didn't like the dying part. It doesn't fit well with the story and I don't care about a plot twist you are planning at the end(It's just a guess for now). Just stick with harry potter if you can please. I never liked authors who tried to add their own plot twists, most of the time I don't even finish them, people who go to read fanfiction like it because of the the franchise itself, we definitely don't like it when the story is changed or modified. In your case it's okay - the story is the same, but characters act differently. You could say the movie is all about Harry's perspective.
I'll overlook the grammar. But seriously? The thing you did with Dumbledore was way too much, all you did was create an unnecessary drama to early.
It wasn’t bad until chapter 25 then the author just went off the rails and ruined his own book with some dumb stuff.
just one big plot hole oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I could have overlooked the grammar or the MC being an edgy loner that bottles up his emotions because he has trauma But what happened with dumbledore was just too much If you wanted to you could have just gone the occult route instead of pitting dumbo and the MC against each other
揭示劇透
Llegue al cap 10 y lo deje ¿Porque? El mc avanza a pasos agigantados y no se le da una razón para esto o almenos no una más desarrollada y coherente. Con mi experiencia leyendo fics esto va camino al abandono ya que llega un momento dónde el protagonista es tan op que no cabe en el propio mundo, lo vuelven más estúpido o crean personajes más op lo cual llega un momento que aburre. Quizás si buscas una lectura muy casual cerebro apagado te sea útil
lot of grammar mistakes changing Pov's 3 times in 1 paragraph Mc creating his own fking ai/sytem with 0 knowledge about it too many plotholes mc broken without any reason etc
Magical oaths, it is foolish to make them thinking that they are infallible, in addition to reducing the importance and level of danger when used as a cleansing spell. The protagonist seems to have had a taste of reality, but I think you should add a warning when starting chapters with explicit scenes. And it wouldn't be bad to explore other places and meet normal and abnormal people (magical beings). It's a bit boring that the protagonist only knows Hogwarts and some alley shops.
What a magnificent turn of events, it really brought me a sudden urge to want to read your story, before I wasn't enjoying it very much. keep it up!
It great nice plot twist and unforeseen situation that dumbledore really evil here and want to take another body and mc dying and having another second chance to see his failure because of arrogance in the first reincarnated life he had before being caught and tortured by dumbledore very nice
Why would you write in English if you cannot understand English all that well. Why not use grammarly or even a Word Processor to help with the spelling and gramar. Bruddah, find da wae.
There's a lot of things the author is trying to do, most of which are failing terribly. There is terrible grammar that makes it difficult to understand the story. Magic oaths are being thrown left and right, there was a reason why that it isn't used often, you open up to plot holes or have to BS to get out of them. In 5 years he develops Occulumency better than everyone else's based on shoddy physics and anime, so strong the sorting hat backs off even though it's buffed by the magic of Hogwarts and the founders. Not to mention he broods and looks down on everybody, acting like a loner while acknowledging Dumbledore is manipulative and would probably be on the lookout for that kind of thing, opening up the MC to getting ganked by the headmaster. Good luck to the author and people who wanna read this, I don't enjoy it and think it's plot holes and garbage, but maybe one of you will. Oh, and it has a self-made system, for all the system haters.
Hello, I will publish new fan fiction. The novel is named MHA: TITAN. You can also access the novel from my profile. On 05.06.2023, it will go on air at 00:00 and ten episodes will be published at 00:50. In addition, I will first publish the story on my Patreon account, you can read about 30 chapters of the novel from the patreon page is named Dyspromen. The first ten chapters were published for free on Patreon. If I talk about this novel, as my first writing experience, I can say that it is quite amateur and inaccurate. I stand by my promise, this novel will be finished, but I have decided to rewrite the novel, which will be after the novel I am currently writing is completed. Thank you for your interest and support.
So much potential at the start but the author got lazy or something with their translation really quickly and made it a headache to read due to the frequent use of idioms that have no meaning in English.
Мне понравилось, хотя герой и слишком мощный. [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
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if you are looking for lowkey mc this is not one of it, ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bro how can you make such a perfect plot twist from nowhere?And make the creation of the "system" logic in the limits of a fanfic?
20.02.2023 Hello, I decided to take a break from the story. Even though I know how to progress in the story, I have difficulty writing. I will not leave the story unfinished, but I plan to write another story for now and finalise the novel after completing it. Thank you for reading and for your support.
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
I really like it, but I didn't like the dying part. It doesn't fit well with the story and I don't care about a plot twist you are planning at the end(It's just a guess for now). Just stick with harry potter if you can please. I never liked authors who tried to add their own plot twists, most of the time I don't even finish them, people who go to read fanfiction like it because of the the franchise itself, we definitely don't like it when the story is changed or modified. In your case it's okay - the story is the same, but characters act differently. You could say the movie is all about Harry's perspective.
I'll overlook the grammar. But seriously? The thing you did with Dumbledore was way too much, all you did was create an unnecessary drama to early.
It wasn’t bad until chapter 25 then the author just went off the rails and ruined his own book with some dumb stuff.
just one big plot hole oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I could have overlooked the grammar or the MC being an edgy loner that bottles up his emotions because he has trauma But what happened with dumbledore was just too much If you wanted to you could have just gone the occult route instead of pitting dumbo and the MC against each other
揭示劇透 Llegue al cap 10 y lo deje ¿Porque? El mc avanza a pasos agigantados y no se le da una razón para esto o almenos no una más desarrollada y coherente. Con mi experiencia leyendo fics esto va camino al abandono ya que llega un momento dónde el protagonista es tan op que no cabe en el propio mundo, lo vuelven más estúpido o crean personajes más op lo cual llega un momento que aburre. Quizás si buscas una lectura muy casual cerebro apagado te sea útil
lot of grammar mistakes changing Pov's 3 times in 1 paragraph Mc creating his own fking ai/sytem with 0 knowledge about it too many plotholes mc broken without any reason etc
Magical oaths, it is foolish to make them thinking that they are infallible, in addition to reducing the importance and level of danger when used as a cleansing spell. The protagonist seems to have had a taste of reality, but I think you should add a warning when starting chapters with explicit scenes. And it wouldn't be bad to explore other places and meet normal and abnormal people (magical beings). It's a bit boring that the protagonist only knows Hogwarts and some alley shops.
What a magnificent turn of events, it really brought me a sudden urge to want to read your story, before I wasn't enjoying it very much. keep it up!
It great nice plot twist and unforeseen situation that dumbledore really evil here and want to take another body and mc dying and having another second chance to see his failure because of arrogance in the first reincarnated life he had before being caught and tortured by dumbledore very nice
Why would you write in English if you cannot understand English all that well. Why not use grammarly or even a Word Processor to help with the spelling and gramar. Bruddah, find da wae.
There's a lot of things the author is trying to do, most of which are failing terribly. There is terrible grammar that makes it difficult to understand the story. Magic oaths are being thrown left and right, there was a reason why that it isn't used often, you open up to plot holes or have to BS to get out of them. In 5 years he develops Occulumency better than everyone else's based on shoddy physics and anime, so strong the sorting hat backs off even though it's buffed by the magic of Hogwarts and the founders. Not to mention he broods and looks down on everybody, acting like a loner while acknowledging Dumbledore is manipulative and would probably be on the lookout for that kind of thing, opening up the MC to getting ganked by the headmaster. Good luck to the author and people who wanna read this, I don't enjoy it and think it's plot holes and garbage, but maybe one of you will. Oh, and it has a self-made system, for all the system haters.
Hello, I will publish new fan fiction. The novel is named MHA: TITAN. You can also access the novel from my profile. On 05.06.2023, it will go on air at 00:00 and ten episodes will be published at 00:50. In addition, I will first publish the story on my Patreon account, you can read about 30 chapters of the novel from the patreon page is named Dyspromen. The first ten chapters were published for free on Patreon. If I talk about this novel, as my first writing experience, I can say that it is quite amateur and inaccurate. I stand by my promise, this novel will be finished, but I have decided to rewrite the novel, which will be after the novel I am currently writing is completed. Thank you for your interest and support.