/ Celebrities / hollywood system: art
摘要
What would you do if you had the chance to travel back in time? For the protagonist, Billy Carson, the day his father took him to see E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial in the movie theaters, he realized that maybe he wasn't in a fuzzy dream and maybe he was in a life that sent him with a system of suns, an art system, that will allow him to make history above the masses.
I like anxious readers who question, I have some people who follow the story and because of them, I have learned a lot, if you are new, keep in mind that I am also new to writing, and I want to finish this story even if it has many errors, for all the stories unfinished.
English is not my main language. But I do what I can, good day.
this is my Patreon, I'm usually 20 chapters ahead, I hope you like this series, good day. patreon.com/vin_modeus12
(Disclaimer: Everything described in this series is science fiction)
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你也許也喜歡
4.11
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寫檢討It's a rough but good start of a series. While the writing has grammar errors, this due to the author writing this in Spanish then translating it, it has gotten better. Cheers.
sorry I don't speak English, I'm using a translator, this story has the potential to be one of the best stories, with a Hollywood theme in my opinion, the plot about the creation of companies (comics, games and animations, and the purchase of teams sports, I hope he buys Manchester United) is good, but the part about being an actor leaves me discouraged (I even jump), and the lack of interaction with the world seems like he just works, has no friends, doesn't know how to interact Well, he's an adult and he behaves like a spoiled child, he also trusts his father a lot, I don't know if it was just me but when he asked to exchange shares in another company with him, I was like there's a problem, but all that doesn't matter but what makes me upset is he's worth millions and wants to be a SHIT ACTOR, I don't understand why the author still insists on this shit, the guy has companies to run but he keeps acting, and that's ruining the story. But other than that good work.
揭示劇透This novel needs an editor. The author, tense up and read your novel. Then you will understand. And start new paragraphs more often. It is not clear where the day ends and where it begins.
The spelling has some errors, but the most obvious thing is that there are sudden changes in setting and the paragraphs are not separated so as not to get confused when reading the chapter. You could use: ---- or *** to separate paragraphs that have different scenarios.
it's all good, it's just that I don't like your MC, bro. Billy is too workaholic, even though he has many subordinates who will handle everything. Just hand it over to the subordinates, he just needs to control from behind and please, don't make him an actor, because for me it's just a waste, considering he's a billionaire with a big company that he owns. An actor's income is not much compared to being a millionaire, who always makes a profit every month.
I think overall is fine except conversation that make me confused by the way I write this when i read about 5 chapters so he might already improve
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Good side characters with interesting quirks and distinct dialogue, annoying story progression and main character. Read if you want to be depressed and anxious about how humans suck and relive the social anxiety of your youth.
It has improved a lot from chapter 1 to 200. I hope to read more stories 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
This is a great story. possibly your best story. Though he is talented in art, he should use his company artist for drawing and focus more on daily life. The story should control the timeline carefully because it is only 1994 year and 200+ chapters have been done. 21st century will take 2k chapters. It will take 5/6 years in that case.
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作者 rollo1019to
Review of chapters 1 to 197. I can say that the novel is good, it contains parts that bothered me but overall it remains positive, I'll try to give some tips and spoilers ahead, At the beginning, it's very strange how the author is new and probably doesn't have English as his native language and he chose a different writing system from what I think would be the standard, he uses (-abc- so far the only way to know if the character is speaking or thinking is when he describes it after the speech) this doesn't help much and at least the first 20 chapters are a mess until you get used to it and their quality isn't good, it seems like there's missing information sometimes you don't understand who is speaking, which improved when the author added who is speaking after the message. I recommend using ("abc" for speech and 'abc' for thoughts, other types of messages or systems depend on your preference [ABC] or {ABC} etc...). A tip with a slight spoiler if you're like me and when you get attached to a character (girlfriend), then the author decides to change her, it's not to get attached to the first girl he meets at school from what I read he won't end up with her and the author creates a boring drama around it because she won't disappear from his life, be warned. Another thing is, don't consider the MC as a reincarnated, nothing is shown about his "past life," consider him as a person who received memories from the future or from a parallel reality, this fits much better with what has been shown so far and some problems that I'll talk about later. A problem I felt is that the MC seems to have two personalities, sometimes he's all-powerful running his company, making investments, and signing contracts here he seems like a reincarnated, but in other times especially when it involves relationships or his family he becomes a rebellious teenager making mistakes, arguing with his father, falling in love with every girl that crosses his path, and other things. This bothered me, it seems like two completely different stories. About the system, the MC can buy abilities or knowledge from books, movies, anime, manga, comics, etc., with points he earns when someone feels emotion reading or watching his work, this is explained in the first chapter I recommend reading but it didn't help me much. Problems and spoilers. I feel the lack of some more concrete rules for the system I don't know if I didn't understand the first chapter but I think it was very vague what some things do, and it also doesn't help with a lot of "omitted" information that should be shown for a more believable system but they don't appear, so I can only deduce that the author just generates numbers in his head and puts them in the system when they're necessary. Like releasing a movie or comic and the MC would have to earn points for the reactions they cause in people but the author never shows these numbers, how many people watched the movie, how many liked it and earned points, the system seems to be in fourth or fifth plan zero priority. Continuing on this part about the movies and comics he makes and these points, a lot of information is omitted which in my opinion should be shown like he starts releasing comics and you rarely see numbers, one chapter or another they appear and as I said before the author must generate them on the spot there's no logic behind them, when the MC starts selling thousands of comics and there's zero evolution in the system part the MC only appears with abilities and the knowledge of some stories without even showing when he bought or how much it was (numbers without previous logic they just exist), there's no visible store to the reader, not that I want a giant list of movies but nothing appears the MC only opens the status in some chapters and you see what changed or was added. Continuing on movies and others since I only talked about the system, as I said the numbers are vague I expected more details in this part especially in a novel with Hollywood in the name, it's only shown him creating the works struggling to receive money when he receives the money disappears in external investments or in the company itself which is quite realistic(Money in the bank generates more loss than profit), if this didn't drag on for 190 chapters all the money he receives disappears into some investment the only difference is that it goes from thousands to millions but he never has much money on hand, which makes sense I won't lie since he buys a lot of shares, by around chapter ~190 he must have billions invested, but as always with the lack of information about these numbers we have to accept or try to guess them occasionally and it's shown how many shares the MC has but this information isn't complete. Another problem with stocks is just saying how many he have bought and not how much they're worth telling me that he owns 400 thousand or 1 share in Microsoft doesn't make much difference if I don't have the value of each share at the time and constantly opening Google to try to find that number doesn't help which should be up to why the author doesn't give them but it would be good for them to exist, another problem is the percentage that these shares represent in the company which is also not shown I only saw 1 paragraph in the whole novel that showed this and it was very vague, since this is an important number if I have 51 percent of a company, I own it, the other shareholders can hardly do anything against me unless I commit a crime or harm the company. About the MC and his "reincarnation," I personally don't see anything that shows that he is a reincarnated after all he acts like a teenager, it's the famous excuse that authors use of teenager hormones appear here too, it doesn't make sense to me that a person over 30 is affected by teenage hormones to the point of doing teenage stupidity. A little more of that adolescent part and indecisions of the novel and that the mc makes a bet with his father that if a basketball team wins he goes to acting school(His father wants him to go to business school), he wins after all he knows the future and still makes a lot of money with it, but a while later this bet reappears again as he needs more money and his father will not simply let him bet after all his father does not know the future he makes the same proposal and wins again, as he had already decided to finish school 2 more no's earlier than usual, He decides to go to the business university saying that later he will go to acting, after all he signed a contract with a company and that company used a loophole in the contract to win over the MC's company with plans to suppress the MC and make him sell his company that is starting to make money. This loophole was not well explained and this company even sued the MC to suppress him even more alleging another loophole, but this I already thought was exaggerated drama because it was clearly written in the contract In my view, there was no loophole. Another thing about movies they only start being shown from chapter 100 or 120, before that it's just the MC writing comics making investments, and improving the company to start making movies, and about acting in the movies which is an MC goal also starts at the same time that could start much earlier, like chapter +-180 the MC accepts a movie that would pay 300 thousand for 3 years when he should make one to two million in one day with the company and his investments. Pulling from this part what bothered me the most in the whole novel is the "romance" that the author is developing, unfortunately it didn't work for me and when it did the author abandoned the girl with a stupid reason and to create drama after all she simply becomes the MC's sister his father out of nowhere decides to marry her mother which until the part that was shown, that was not shown anything that indicate this, I won't lie one scene can give clues but what was shown of her mother's personality previously makes this unlikely, so from my point of view this only served to add drama. Another thing related to the paragraph above is that the MC only socializes with women, I didn't see him having a male friend outside the company since in the company these friends are his employees. First he's at school this first girl approaches him and pulls him into the theater group which he already wanted to do but only goes after she talks to him and he ends up dating her and she introduces him to a group of girls, further on she moves to Germany because her mother (who fled from Germany with this girl's grandfather, but when her mother got married she didn't like her husband, and when the Berlin Wall came down she decided to come back because she didn't like the United States) , but they keep in touch. On a trip to the Italy cup they stay spend more time together and then he returns to the United States and she goes to Germany (here that's the scene where the MC's father gets too close to his girlfriend's mother), the MC continues to interact with his girlfriend's group of friends and one day he receives an angry call from his girlfriend (I don't know the reason, apparently it was because she found out about the affair between the MC's father and her mother and got angry combined with the pressure of being in a new country and having difficulty with the language) and they practically break up which already annoyed me (the reason I mentioned was only shown about a few chapters later) the MC continues to hang out with the group of girls, the ex calls apologizing some time later and explains the reasons, but our "reincarnated" decides it's better to break up, he goes to a party with the group of friends and ends up with one of them, shortly after he goes to dinner at this new girlfriend's house but her parents don't like him because he brought alcohol to the party I mentioned (from this point on I practically ignored the romance in the novel I stopped reading the chapters that showed it I just skim through), some time passes and suddenly the ex shows up at the house with her mother saying that their parents are going to get married and this was also one of the reasons she called arguing with him, but now it's too late and it seems he will end up with this friend of hers (or will he not) after a while (around chapters 130 to 150) he gets a role in a movie and out of I don't know how many actors he becomes friends with a woman (clingy too, friendship goes from 0 to 100 in two sentences), the MC almost starts to like her but they end up the recordings and he stops seeing her but she must return in the future, then he gets a role in another movie and again has a group of female actors throwing themselves at the MC looking like teenagers but I think they're older than the MC who will be 16, remembering he's still dating his ex's friend, I can only talk until here because it's where I got to the most recent chapter. With all this development there the romance of the work didn't catch me if I look at it as a whole it's not bad but when I read it made me angry and I'm no huge fan of romance much less of this plot of constantly changing girlfriends, it may be realistic but it doesn't please me. Final notes. Final notes even though I have these problems with the novel they are mostly opinions that I don't agree with so they're not wrong I just don't like them and I won't force myself to like them, I recommend you to give the work a chance, overall the balance is positive, Author, I recommend rewriting at least the first 20 or 30 chapters it's too messy and lacking in information maybe it will attract and keep more people if you correct them and change to the "standard" writing system.