/ Teen / Young hearts
摘要
Julie Thompson just moved into the suburban town to live with her aunt's family and hopes to not have or make any friends at all because she disliked people but maybe liking just one won't hurt.
She falls for Uche, her cousin brother's best friend, without even knowing. Follow Julie through her first attempt at love.
...
I watched him as he stood there, leaning on the bridge's railing and eating ice cream. The breeze wasn't disturbing his hair today because he had parked it all backwards, he looked cute, I smiled drawing in some breath, satisfied with how today was going.
"What?" I heard him ask taking me off my thoughts.
"Huh?"
"You were smiling."
"Oh. I was...."
"Can I kiss you?" He asked looking at my lips.
"Here?" I asked now, my heart beating hard again my chest, our first kiss could happen now.
"Yeah?" He nodded, I could see his Adam's apple go up and down as he swallowed, I bit my lips, nervously. I smiled approvingly, almost getting up from the bench where I sat.
"No sit." He said coming closer to sit next to me. The bench was quiet small so we were so close to each other.
He leaned in and I could smell him more the closer he got to my face. His lips were now inches away from mine and the moment they touched I closed my eyes, I didn't know why but I did. He didn't put his tongue in my mouth, it was as simple as it could get, just a warm kiss and I as glad he didn't.
When he lips left mine, I opened my eyes licking my lips. He was smiling, I hadn't yet told him how much I loved his smile.
"You lied." I told him.
"About what?" He stopped smiling.
"You said you were a bad kisser." He laughed now with his teeth showing, those beautiful set.
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#genka3na
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寫檢討The story has great potential.... It will become a good story in no times... Keep writing till the end .... There is some grammatical error, I hope you can pay attention to that sector too, as it helps with the quality of story.
This work has great potential, I can view that from the synopsis although it's short. The first paragraph with the word 'lemme' confused me. It's only a few chapters but it's a good read but the author needs to work more in the grammars and paragraphs. Overall, it's a good read as I've mentioned
作者 genika3na2
I couldn’t help but falling in love with the writing! Great work! Carry on!