章節 22: To be hers

When she awoke, the first thing that greeted her was confusion. The second thing that greeted Dahlia was a scent of vanilla and citrus. Her body screamed in pain, but far less than she had anticipated. There was warmth encapsulating her that made her feel so comfortable that it all felt like a dream.

She tried to open her eyes, but couldn't fully manage it. Unlike before where she couldn't even feel what was happening, now she could at least tell that her eyes were responding to her. Her eyelids struggled to move and resisted opening, but a sliver of light made it in. Unfortunately, that's all she could see. Everything was blurry and only an ambient light could be made out.

Between the soft light, decreased pain, beautiful smell, and comforting warmth, she quickly jumped to a conclusion.

'Oh. So I actually died. That's… really unfortunate. I promised her that I'd wait. I finally found someone and I couldn't even live long enough to join them.'

Tears began to well up and sting her eyes and as her thoughts progressed sobs started to wrack through her body. It hurt. Every sharp gasp flared a deep pain and every shuddering breath made her entire body ache, but what else could she do? Grief gripped her like a vice as regrets and a sense of loss overwhelmed her.

'I'm just a disappointment huh? All I had to do was live and I couldn't even do that.'

Then that comfortable warmth shifted. A weight on her chest she wasn't even aware of receded before some sounds of rustling were followed by the weight being replaced by a gentle warm pressure.

'Am I… being held? Is it like an angel comforting me in death? I… I don't think I deserve this.'

She felt a gentle caress of fingers running through her hair and then a woman's voice making gentle soothing sounds in her ear. It was low, melodic, and beautiful. The most precious sound she could imagine. It reminded her of something, but at the time she was still so enveloped in her grief that she couldn't recall what.

"Shhh, it's ok sweetheart, you're going to be ok. Cry as much as you like and as much as you need; I'll never let you feel this way again."

The words were said with so much tender affection that it only brought more sobs to Dahlia. She felt so lost. She felt like her life had been lost and wasted while this affection she now received only reminded her of who she left behind. It left her whimpering and choking out words between sobs.

"I'm so sorry! I just wanted to be happy, I didn't know that it wouldn't be allowed… I just wanted to be hers and to feel love but… I guess I was asking for too much…"

The hand stroking her hair paused for a moment, seemingly caught off guard by what was just said. It was only a brief pause before the hand started to move again however, and as it did, the arm wrapped around her tightened. The gentle voice spoke again, this time there was some hesitance and a hint of curiosity.

"You wanted to be 'hers'? Do you think there's anything wrong with the desire to love and be loved? Don't you dare think for a second you did any wrong. Never fear being too greedy, you could ask for the world and I'd find a way to give it to you."

A residual anger had snuck into her voice and a faint growl could be heard mixed in with what she said. For someone else it may have been threatening or frightening, but when Dahlia heard it memories resurfaced. Although tears continued to pour from her eyes, the sobs slowed and she managed to catch her breath.

"Y-your Grace? Is that really you? What happened? Why are you here? Did we…"

She was about to ask 'Did we die' but couldn't imagine it. First of all, the thought of the Archduchess dying was heart wrenching and felt impossible. Secondly if they were together then maybe, just maybe, all those irrational fears she had earlier were unfounded and the vampiress had really come to retrieve her.

As if to confirm those thoughts, the hand continued to caress her and she felt a forehead press against her own. A warm breath could even be felt and that proximity made a tingling sensation run through her body.

"Don't worry, I'm here. I won't let anything like that happen to you again. You've had far more pain than you ever deserved. We can go into the details later, but for now just know we're at my castle and you're safe. There's not a thing to worry about and all you need to focus on is recovering."

She paused for a moment but then briefly added, "You don't need to call me Your Grace or anything like that. My name is fine. Hell, you can call me whatever you please. Heh, I know I'll do the same."

There was a slight teasing joy in her voice as she said that and Dahlia suddenly felt her face go red.

'She… she called me sweetheart. Oh gods, and she's holding me like this! Is this really ok? It feels so nice, but I'm hoping for too much… Maybe I should get up, or is that rude? Shit, I don't know what to do!'

Her desire to remain held battled with her fear of burdening others and eventually she decided to try and make some space. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, Valentina wouldn't have any of it. The moment Dahlia began to shift away the vampiress pulled her in tighter and a slight growl came from her throat.

"You don't get to escape that easily~ I saw how comfortable you were a moment ago so don't go deciding what's right or wrong without hearing my opinion first. Just… just stay here. With me. I thought you were dead when I found you and, I'm sure you won't believe this, but I felt lost. I need you here so please stay with me."

Despite her overwhelming desire to keep close, Valentina didn't maintain a firm grip. She slackened her hold and came to terms that, if Dahlia truly felt uncomfortable, she should be allowed to leave. The Archduchess didn't want to force herself on the girl no matter how much her body begged her to remain close.

Much to her dismay, Dahlia didn't immediately accept what she said. The girl pulled away slightly and stopped moving. Though Dahlia couldn't see it, Valentina's face clearly displayed her distress at the thought of having to separate. She was holding her breath and keeping herself still. Every part of her wanted to reach out and deny the escape attempt, but she held back.

On the other side, Dahlia was terribly confused. She wasn't pulling away and making space due to her own discomfort. Rather, the idea that the Archduchess could want her to stay was mind boggling. Even after all was said, Dahlia felt like it must have been a lie, like the sky was falling and pigs were flying. For someone to worry about her. To care and want her near… it was unthinkable.

But.

And this was a very big but. But what if she was being honest? What if it was the truth and the Archduchess actually wanted her here. Butterflies awoke in her stomach and a flicker of unimaginable hope danced in her heart. She felt breathless and she hid her face as an astonished and excited smile broke her lips. The question was repeated over and over, hammering away her defences.

What if?

It was too tempting of a possibility and with that she finally approached back towards Valentina. She couldn't see her but felt her warmth and quickly brought herself into it. The breath Valentina had been holding hitched in her throat as the girl drew herself in close. It was almost like a switch had been flicked in Dahlia's head and the scared little bunny she was acting like just moments ago now shoved her entire frail body tightly in towards the Archduchess.

Releasing her breath and smiling brightly, she pulled the girl in tightly to her and began to coddle her. The sudden confirmation that she was comfortable and happy like this was sending fireworks off in her head. She wasn't even thinking clearly at this point, just grinning stupidly as she got to hold her love.

Both lay there and relished the moment. Every second that passed was being treasured and had value far higher than the fairest gem on the continent. Valentina was on cloud nine as she had returned to caressing Dahlia, only for the girl to practically purr under her hand. At that moment, both of them only thought one thing. This was addicting and there would need to be more. Much, much more.

Time passed by as the two indulged in the other's presence. Dahlia was eventually the one to break the comfortable silence but even then she didn't pull away, nor did Valentina show any signs of stopping her pampering.

"Uhm, this might be a dumb question but… what exactly is all this? What does it mean?"

A bit of fear had crept into her voice as she asked and she took a bit of a shuddering breath before continuing.

"I heard… I heard that you do this with others. My mom told me a bit about your ehm, history. She said you treated me differently but, well… I just want to know what's actually happening. Am I like some sort of concubine or something? Am I… am I keeping you away from someone else who's waiting for you?"

As she asked, her voice cracked and she struggled to get the words out. She was terrified to feel love only to be tossed aside for someone who was actually worthy. In her mind, it didn't make sense to be the primary focus of someone's affection. Even receiving it secondarily felt like it was beyond what she deserved.

All she could do is to try and ignore the painful tugging of her heartstrings as she asked the question. A small laugh tried to cover her nerves, but it merely sounded self depreciating which, for all intents and purposes, it was. Valentina glanced at her and scowled. This wouldn't do. Not one bit. She tried to force some neutrality to her voice.

"Does it bother you that I've been with so many people?"

"No! Of course not! How could I blame people for falling for someone like you…"

Dahlia's voice had reduced at that point to a small tremble. The image of a scared little bunny rabbit popped back into the Archduchess' head and she let out a sigh.

"Right. So that isn't a problem. And say I kept sleeping with them or I have a main partner already, what then?"

There was a long pause before Dahlia could finally find her voice to speak.

"...T-that would be fine as well. I… I'll do my best no matter what. I promise I'll be good and fulfil my role to the best of my ability!"

Dahlia's voice was shaking terribly at this point. She sounded as though she could break down in tears but at the same time there was so much desperation that it was clear to see how things were. Valentina clenched her jaw as she listened.

'She's that desperate? She hates the idea of it all, but she wants to stay with me even if she'd hate her position? This is wrong. I can't let her dwell on this or think about these false possibilities any longer.'

"Well, I appreciate you willing to compromise, but I don't think you need to worry. While the first part is true and I've had countless flings, I don't have, and have never had, a real genuine partner. I've stayed far away from becoming close to others for ages. Dahlia, you're special and you need to know that, alright?"

She looked to see the girl who was once again holding herself tight to the vampiress' chest. It was like she was using the body to hide her face. Valentina could still feel her trembling and breathing rapidly though and the fear of separation was still plain to see.

"I don't expect you to believe me right away. You hardly know me and I don't plan to force you into anything, but… If you were willing to be a concubine and stay even if I had a partner already, I'd like it if you would consider being my partner instead. Not a fling. Not a concubine. My one and only. Ok?"

There was a tiny nod that came from the hidden face and Valentina just chuckled as she resumed petting the girl. She let out a sigh as she came to realise some of the issues they'd be facing together. Dahlia had self esteem issues that made it difficult for her to be honest, meanwhile Valentina was struggling to keep things comforting as opposed to tearing off the girl's chemise and kissing and biting her…

Yup. Lots of problems.

Nonetheless, that torture she was putting herself through felt well worth the reward. Simply being together like this felt so much better than anything she had done before. Her libido may be building up by the minute, but the sense of apathy and loneliness she once constantly felt had been dashed away and replaced with the most wonderful warmth.

A few more minute had passed and Dahlia had finally relaxed and was once again pressed happily into the Archduchess' body when Valentina leaned over and whisper int her ear.

"I'm not perfect, you know. I have a terrible temper, can be impulsive and am altogether far too self centred to make for a good ruler. I'll stumble and make mistakes, but I promise you. I'll do all I can to make you safe and happy."

"Whether you've come to terms with it or not, I plan to make you mine and I will go to the ends of the world for you if need be. It's sudden. It's a lot. But I can wait until you can accept me because no matter what and no matter how long it may take, I will always accept you"

With that, she lay a gentle kiss on her cheek. Then another. And another as she started to trail down, heading to the neck and collarbone where she had kissed when Dahlia was asleep. With each soft kiss, she'd glance at the girl, always reading her expression and mood before continuing and much to her delight, with each kiss Dahlia seemed to be even more eager, not less.

Her kisses began to speed up a little and get a little less soft as well, but before any more could happen a knock came from the door and a man's voice came out.

"Your grace, I apologise for any interruption but the healer and physician are here and they said for a proper recovery they need to adhere to a specific schedule."

Rorik clearly sounded distressed that he was bothering the Archduchess, but who knows when she would come out again. Setting his mistress aside, he had been instructed to treat Dahlia better than royalty and that was precisely what he would do.

Valentina let out a small growl as she pulled away from Dahlia. Hearing the girl whimper when the kissing stopped almost made her tell the medics to leave right then and there, but she managed to hold onto a shred of reason.

"Fine, come in, just make it quick. Also, I want a full report on if anything is wrong or if there are complications."

And with that, a small collection of experts immediately came through the door, and the beautiful and affectionate time the two had together abruptly came to an end.

創作者的想法
AngelAsphodel

Hello~ I did the last minute editing on my phone from work, which Ive never done before. I'm hoping the formatting didn't get all messed up!

Moving on to more important things... I hope you enjoyed the fluffy chapter, as well as the bit of a tease at the end, hehe.

I really am inexperienced with writing, especcially romance, so if anything ever jumps out to you, I always welcome feedback and hearing your thoughts.

And as always, I hope you're having a wonderful day~

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