章節 191: Shopping with Nami

Cherry really didn't give two hoots about some losers pretending to be the Straw Hat pirates, but their presence here was sure to attract the marines and that would be annoying to deal with.

Unfortunately, Life Sense wasn't any good at finding weaklings in a sea full of weaklings, that was like finding a needle in a needle stack. Well, she could probably find HER weaklings, that being Usopp, Nami, and Franky, if she were to focus hard enough. Franky was technically in that group, too, having so little of his meaty bits left over and Cherry considered the robot parts to be a hollow kind of strength even if she'd never say it out loud.

Not that she needed to look for them in that manner with her custom Vivre cards.

Anyways, Cherry left the investigation to Robin as that was one of her best skills anyways. When she found information on where to locate them all in one place, Cherry would humiliate- no, "educate" them about the consequences of identity fraud.

'I wonder if they've got a fake "Cherry" too. She better be real sexy or they're going to have a doctorate in the science of 'Don't piss off Harpin D. Cherry'-ology by the time I'm done with them.' Cherry idly thought to herself.

Cherry went shopping for "education" supplies and found a blacksmith so that she could make some custom "lesson" materials for her eager "students".

Robin came back to the ship in the morning of the next day to give the rundown of what she learned.

"It seems they plan to have a big get together in a few days for their recruiting efforts. That'll be the best time to find them all together probably," Robin said.

"Perfect! That means there'll be an audience!" Cherry said joyfully, fiddling with her blacksmithing project from the day before.

Robin widened her eyes once she got a good look at it. "Is that- ?"

"Yes, it's exactly what it looks like," Cherry said, filled with a menacing chuckle.

"I'm glad I'm in your bed and not on your list of grudges…" Robin sighed, leaving Cherry to her sadistic hobbies.

…

Cherry just so happened to be drinking heavily overpriced liquor in Shakky's Rip-Off Bar when Nami arrived to check in.

"Would you look at what the cat dragged in! She dragged herself in, I suppose?" Cherry exclaimed, raising a bottle of rum in a toast before draining it.

"It's good to see you too, Cherry." Nami rolled her eyes with a smile.

"Why are you dressed like that? Are you trying to give Sanji a heart attack? Not that I'm complaining…" Cherry observed.

She was referring to Nami's current choice of outfit, being a pair of tight blue jeans and a bikini top that was just a bit too small for her now much more ample bosom.

"He'll just have to learn to deal with it. I'll dress however I like," Nami said, choosing to ignore the last remark.

"You say that now, but knowing Sanji he might actually have some adverse health effects, hehehe! He wouldn't die of blood loss from his nose like a massive tool, would he?" Cherry found the notion to be amusing, absurd, and highly unlikely.

"You're the sixth to arrive, Nami. Rayleigh has already gotten started with the Thousand Sunny's coating for the journey. It'll be done by tomorrow afternoon at the latest." Shakky interjected to give the ship's navigator a status update.

"That's great! Please give Rayleigh my thanks if you see him before I do. I'll be going out shopping for supplies, I definitely can't trust anyone else to get everything we'll need." Nami said.

"What about me?" Cherry asked with false hurt feelings.

"You're worse than the idiots are." Nami stated bluntly.

"Hmph! Are you trying to say we need more than booze, meat, and sugary treats?!" Cherry shouted in 'outrage'.

Nami rolled her eyes. "I'd be inclined to trust Robin, but a certain someone might distract her. No, better to make sure the job gets done myself."

Nami pointed at Cherry. "And you're going to carry it all. That way I can save a few Beri from the luggage bubbles."

She was referring to the soap bubbles that the locals sold for a nominal fee to help with carrying things.

"But I'm just a weak and pitiful woman! Look at my noodly arms!" Cherry complained.

Nami grabbed her by the ear and dragged Cherry out of the bar. Cherry grabbed her last bottle of rum off of the counter before it was out of reach, muttering complaints between swallows.

Cherry was relieved to find that shopping for supplies didn't feel nearly as troublesome as shopping for clothes was.

She supposed that was the case because Nami wasn't wasting time deciding which shade of blue she liked better or some nonsense. The haggling might have been a bit easier with Cherry scowling at merchants who didn't give up quickly enough for her liking.

Cherry carried several crates and barrels all strapped together with rope on her back, the mass of them enough to crush twenty men. People tended to give way at the sight of it, making their pace increase a bit rather than slow down from the burden.

"This is much easier than normal. I can't trust the idiots to carry that much without dropping it or running off, even if they could handle the weight just fine." Nami said.

Nami didn't hear a response so she turned around to see Cherry peering through a showroom window. Walking back over she saw a large, shiny harpoon gun. Looking at the price tag, she winced.

"No, we can't afford it." Nami said.

That wasn't true, it was more that she's a penny pincher who hated fun. At least that was Cherry's impression of her at that moment.

Cherry could just buy it with her own money, but why on earth would she do that when she can spend someone else's money?!

"You know, there's a lot of Sea Kings at the bottom of the ocean…" Cherry spoke darkly.

Nami froze in her tracks and turned to look at Cherry with a hint of fear on her face that she was trying to hide.

"T-that won't matter. You and the boys can take care of Sea Kings easily!" Nami said, trying to convince herself more than anyone.

"Hm, that may be the case, but do you think the bubble will be able to take it? This harpoon gun here is specifically designed to minimize its impact with the ship coating bubble," Cherry said, reading the placard beneath the price tag.

Nami was shaken by her reasoning, but she couldn't give in! "Aha! What about Takako?! Surely your pet Kraken can handle the Sea Kings!"

"That's true. It's a shame that there's no way in hell that Luffy won't care about that at all. On the other hand, Luffy will probably be happy to play with a brand new harpoon gun, won't he?" Cherry countered.

Nami squinted her eyes and ground her teeth. Cherry gave her the smile of a devil that already knew that she'd suckered some poor soul into a deal.

…

Cherry and Nami made it back to the Sunny in the evening. Cherry had a small hill of various necessities and miscellaneous goods.

Among them was a large crate inside of which was not just one, but TWO brand new harpoon guns and a healthy sum of harpoons that Cherry had personally inspected for their quality.

Nami was in disbelief that she had somehow been convinced to buy two of them, despite how expensive they were.

The argument Cherry had used was that they needed one to distract Luffy AND one for Usopp to use since Luffy had terrible aim.

"Hey there, Miss Navigator. Did Cherry give you a hard time?" Robin greeted.

"Yes…" Nami answered truthfully, giving Robin a hug.

"There there, it's all over now." Robin comforted her as if she'd been through some harrowing experience.

"Hey Franky! Check out these sweet harpoon guns! How hard do you think it'd be to modify them to reload automatically?" Cherry said, pretending not to notice the bemused, but judgmental glare Robin was directing at the back of her head.

"That's a SUPER idea! It'll be SUPER easy with the help of your devil fruit I think!" Franky answered, actually oblivious to the 'drama' between the ladies.

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章節 192: It's Just a Prank Bro

The promised date of the Straw Hat's reunion.

"Ehhhhh?! Robin?! But I saw you get kidnapped by world government agents?!" Chopper cried out in confusion when he ran into Robin, Nami, and Usopp.

"Did you now?" Robin giggled.

"That wasn't Robin, Chopper. That was one of the fake Straw Hats that have been impersonating us," Nami explained patiently.

"Really?!" Chopper felt very flustered. "I suppose she didn't really smell like Robin…"

"Oh, what do I smell like?" Robin asked curiously.

"Like old books and coffee," Chopper said, sniffing at Robin's shoulder.

"Now do me! Do me next!" Usopp exclaimed.

Chopper sniffed at him. "You used to smell like rubber and gunpowder, but now you mostly spell like strange plants."

"That makes sense, I've mostly shifted away from gunpowder ammunition in favor of my pop greens," Usopp nodded his head.

Chopper sniffed at Nami. "Nami smells like oranges and… Nami do you have a problem you'd like to tell me about? There are many ways to curb addictions to illicit substances that I can help you with."

"What?! No I don't!" Nami denied.

Robin giggled before speaking up to explain. "It's the money, Nami. People use Beri bills to snort… stuff. The Beri bills we get a hold of are even worse given how often they're in the hands of pirates."

"I guess I do spend a little too much time counting it… but Chopper, you shouldn't be saying stuff like this in public. What about doctor / patient confidentiality?" Nami complained with a pout.

"It's okay because I knew you weren't on anything. There's no way Nami would waste money like that, ehehe." Chopper laughed.

"Hahaha, Chopper has you all figured out, Nami!" Usopp mocked.

By the time the four of them had reached the ship, Usopp sported a new red bump on his head.

Chopper greeted Cabernet and Merry joyfully. They had a unique relationship amongst the crew, with Cabernet and Merry both being ships, Chopper and Merry being animals, and Cabernet and chopper being human zoan fruits.

Cherry had previously said that Luffy's fruit was a Zoan, but they weren't really sure if he had a human zoan fruit or something else. After all, none of them had ever heard of people with rubbery flesh that were immune to bullets.

"So where is everyone else?" Chopper asked.

"Luffy has yet to arrive as far as we know. Brook is doing some kind of concert. Zoro wandered off somewhere as always and Sanji went looking for him," Franky answered, coming above deck.

Usopp and Chopper squealed in delight at the sight of his "magnificent" cyborg form.

"Luffy has, in fact, arrived on the archipelago." Rayleigh said, walking over with Shakky behind him. "As for Cherry, she's up to no good I expect. She was drawing up some sort of blueprint for a contraption in the bar yesterday, and giggling menacingly all the while."

A shiver went down their spines and they asked nothing more about Cherry.

…

"I'm so disappointed in you boys. Don't you know it's rude to try to spoil a lady's fun?" Cherry asked rhetorically.

The marines she had caught spying on the meeting place of the fake Straw Hats couldn't respond through the gags in their mouths. They couldn't put up much of a fight either given that they were buried in the tree up to their necks, and quite firmly so.

One of the den den mushis that they had on their persons started to ring, so Cherry answered it.

"Report." A familiar voice commanded.

"Oh, it's Sentomaru! How nice to hear your voice again!" Cherry answered delightfully.

"Harpin D. Cherry." Sentomaru's voice said, the den den mushi frowning. "What did you do to my marine?"

"All 7 of your marines are just fine," Cherry said, causing the den den mushi's frown to deepen. "I'm sure you were planning to crash the fake Straw Hats' party, same as me, but if your men run in too soon they might get caught up in my surprise. That would be bad for both of us, so you should hang back and swoop in once I'm done, yeah?"

The den den mushi was silent.

"No sending in the pacifistas either. I know you brought a bunch of them with you. They're pretty expensive aren't they? It'd be a shame if I had to crush them all like tin cans," Cherry threatened with glee.

After having a good look at Bartholomew Kuma, Cherry came to the conclusion that only Kuma had any semblance of humanity left. The other pacifistas were basically robots wearing corpse suits so she had no qualms at all in annihilating them if necessary, just like Moria's zombies.

"My men and I will do as I see fit." Sentomaru answered sternly and hung up.

Cherry smiled victoriously. She was pretty sure Sentomaru would do as she asked, he just couldn't say that out loud. It didn't mean that Sentomaru would leave the real Straw Hats alone, but at least for now there was a ceasefire of sorts.

A gunshot and cheering was heard from the clearing the meeting was being held in.

"Time to go, the show is getting started. Oh, I'll be stealing this. You don't mind right?" Cherry said, picking up a camera den den mushi that one of the marines had in addition to the communicator. "I need pictures of the fakes to show the others later."

Cherry bounded up the tree into the branches, leaving the poor marines embedded sideways halfway up the massive tree.

Doing a quick Life Sense scan, Cherry discovered another interloper. One that was much more annoying to deal with than marines.

"Damn it, Luffy. Last I checked you were a couple of groves away. Why did you come here now?!" Cherry muttered angrily. "You know what? Screw it, it's your fault for ignorantly wandering into the strike zone of my evil machinations. Don't blame me."

Luffy was standing on stage with a massive backpack and a fake mustache, looking around in confusion. He asked "Zoro" and "Sanji" what was going on which made Cherry plant her face into her palms.

Cherry swiftly snapped her pictures of each fake Straw Hat that was present. Sadly there was no fake Robin, but the rest were here in their full glory.

The fake Cabernet was the most amusing, being a big burly man with bleached hair and fake black wings. The fact that he couldn't be bothered to shave was especially funny.

The fake Cherry was actually pretty good, easily the best look-a-like among the fakes. She was supermodel level smoking hot with a bodacious bod and curves in all the right places. Her sensual gaze caused men and women alike to faint when she met their eyes.

Clearly identical to her real self in the looks department. A shame that she was rotten on the inside, Cherry knew the type.

"Show time." Cherry pulled a rope.

…

Far below the canopy, the pirates excitedly shouted "Kill him!" towards the stage after the fake Luffy announced that he would punish the disguised real Luffy for offending him earlier.

"Huh?" The real Luffy stepped out of the way as a fist sized ball of sparkly goop fell where he was just standing.

His observation haki had warned him that something "dangerous" was about to hit him, so he was a bit perplexed to find that it was seemingly something harmless.

He looked up and his eyes widened. He didn't know what was dangerous about it, but it couldn't be good that so much of it was falling down from the trees. Luffy immediately booked it, intending to get far away from this nonsense.

Not a moment later the crowd and the fake Straw Hats were doused in a mixture of Bubble soap and glitter. There was a brief panic at the unknown substance, but seeing that it didn't hurt them, their fear turned to anger.

It would only be some time later that they would realize that the glitter was fusing to their skin. Cherry had worked very hard to make objects retain her devil fruit's fusing property for a short period after she was no longer in physical contact. Smaller objects, such as this glitter, retained it longer than larger ones.

"Who the hell thinks they can joke around with Straw Hat Luffy?!" The fake Luffy shouted angrily.

"Me?" Cherry dropped down directly in front of him.

"*PSSSSSSSSS* The sound of sizzling flesh.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Fake Luffy screeched in agony, clutching his chest as he doubled over to the ground.

Cherry turned to look at the other fakes with the visage of a laughing devil.

The custom made brand in her hand was then clearly seen by them and the crowd. A white hot claw mark, the very same that the celestial dragon's put on their slaves.

"That's Cheapshot Cherry!" A voice shouted from the crowd.

The silence was palpable. At least it was until Cherry vanished from her place and another scream, this time from fake Zoro, cried out.

Pandemonium was unleashed. It was very clear to everyone but the dullest of fools what was going on here. These Straw Hats were fake, and now the real Harpin D. Cherry had come to punish them with a damned celestial dragon slave brand.

They all had the same thought. 'Don't fuck with Cheapshot Cherry.'

Cherry managed to brand about half of the fakes when the marines stormed the clearing along with the pacifistas. That made it a bit more difficult, but Cherry was persistent and managed to get them all in the end.

Thankfully Luffy had run off instead of sticking around. Otherwise he might have even attacked Cherry for 'hurting their friends'.

As Cherry turned to make a retreat, a pacifista blocked her path.

"You aren't going anywhere, Cheapshot!" Sentomaru's voice carried across the battlefield as he charged towards her.

Cherry didn't stop, slow down, or even change directions in the slightest.

*Crunch!* *BOOM!!!*

Instead, she directly ran THROUGH the pacifista, leaving a Cherry sized hole in her wake before it exploded.

Between her Hasshoken, armament haki, and devil fruit, these mechanical soldiers weren't even worth the scrap they made them from in front of her now. If they could use haki, they might have proven to be a challenge, but these were only corpses without wills of their own.

As Sentomaru lamented the loss of a battleship's worth of funding destroyed just like that, Cherry shouted to him. "Sorry, I don't have the time to catch up! I hope we meet again, sumo guy!"

With that, Cherry accelerated to full speed and disappeared.

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