201評論
4.36
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
After reading a few comments today, it made me realize something. Sorry, but this story is not for you. It doesn't matter whether you read it or not. I don't care if you drop it. All I want to say is that I write this story because I love One Piece. And, I am writing fanfiction. If you don't like the idea then you can easily drop it and clear it from your library. But those who like it should stay whether it is the best moment of the story or the worst moment of the story. Because every moment matters. So, I am going to delete any kind of review if you just give it based on your feelings rather than understanding the story. Because I don't believe that if you understand the story or are willing to wait for more to understand it better then you wouldn't remove a star unless it is for writing quality. I can assure you that.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO UPDATE?!?!??? IT'S BEEN MORE THAN HALF A YEAR!!! CAN'T YOU JUST RELEASE A FEW 100-200 CHAPTERS NOW?! PLEASE?! NOT ALL OF US ARE RICH ENOUGH TO PAY FOR YOUR PATREON MANN!!! JUST UPDATE ALREADY
That's why I don't like 1 star. I'm not going to explain the reasons.!. .!..!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!.
It really great One piece fanfiction!! I love It!!! It have a very great plot/storyline and great english/translation.. The grammar is great too... I like how MC/Liam use his knowledge very great.. He make Strawhats Pirates more stronger.. And his power is also so broken.. Especially he can bet to back to health as soon as possible (bet vitality), and also can steal other people devil fruit.. Love it.. Love it so much your story author sama.. Keep up the great work :D
Hgfhphgldglzglxhlxlhbcchlfu hlclhcnclhcllhfylchlchlyhhgs hfdunnjdjdjfjfifn jgmfmfncbdjfjgigo Bbvvjnb jvghbfunv Job hbuhfbihf hnvyign if not
Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update
Please update, your story is great 👍 please continue your story don't dropped this story 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
- The personalities, speech, and thoughts of the characters differ from the show. The author has not accurately captured their personalities, seemingly putting them together based on observations. - POV in the Marine: Garp always seems to be laughing at incorrect times, which does not align with how Garp would laugh. - Nami and Vivi fall in love with the main character even though he did nothing romantically to warrant their affection. They are not shallow enough to fall in love just for looks. - Sanji's reason for having conqueror's haki is weak: "to be the guardian of the crew." In the next panel, Zoro now then doubts his place, feeling he isn't strong enough, the he also becomes the guardian to protect the crew, man you are ruining the depth of characters of the crew. - MC's Knowledge isn't being questioned. I'll just assume the crew is loyal enough not to ask how he knows even the smallest details about Luffy, like Sabo and his amnesia. - Sanji acquiring the lightning-lightning fruit is an odd power-up, considering he already has the Germa blood, this would be better suited for NAMI as she isn't a power house and she could just run fast and additionally she has some science knowledge she may be able to put this in better use - Even with questionable power-ups, the author fails to present a reliable argument within One Piece logic. - After the Alabasta arc, Vivi is forgotten like Tenten, despite having the desert fruit. - Numerous missing sentences disrupt the reader's focus. - The comical punch from Nami is overused and poorly timed. - Another Buggy joins the Straw Hat fleet. Based on Buggy's personality, he would not join another pirate fleet as he now wants to lead his own. He might join an organization but not submit to another pirate fleet. - Man, author, did you not plan on how you would do this? I don't know if this is for another fanfic I've read, but as I read this again, it seems like it's missing the part where he confesses that he knows the future adventures of the crew.
............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Very Good Story. It is just that the posting of chapters is irregular or at times nonexistent so I hope you can change that and atleast have frequent uploads at least weekly.
The story is very good, the only negative thing is the DF which I don't quite understand, that is, I understand the concept of luck and the luck bar that fills up...but honestly, that's not luck, because conveniently the The author writes whether to give him good luck or bad luck, I hope it is not like that, but giving an example, the MC losing and by luck he manages to become stronger than his enemy, it would be said that it was because of the luck bar but it is not like that, the author decided to wish the MC good luck. I loved that the author wanted to innovate with a new DF because it is tiring to read the same stories with Logia DF or zoan DF, but I think the concept or the DF could have been much better. So far I have read up to chapter 54, I will continue reading and if I see that the DF improves I will give a better review
揭示劇透
Mc and Luffy: [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=fp][img=faceslap][img=fp][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
Não liguem para as críticas negativas, quem reclama que a fruta do protagonista e uma armadura de trama e simplesmente burro, ele como e Fruta da Aposta e os idiotas agem como se ele tivesse comido a fruta da sorte.
揭示劇透
It's awesome and amazing and good character development and the story is going without boring plot and good devil fruit and development good planing
Historia entretenida toca esperar que si continúen la serie ........................................................ ........................................................ ........................................................
story got completely forced and bs by this useless dog licking trash mc who licks this luffy like a w or b in heat.
Need more chapters [img=update] this story is good 👍😊 honestly it's one of my best
проду проду проду проду история затягивает где найти продолжэние проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду
Great story! Glad it's not your typical OP from the start MC. He starts off really weak but is progressing at a nice pace. Also cool that he's encouraged the rest of the crew to train more too. Particularly Nami and Usopp. They've got so much untapped potential that is literally waiting to burst out. Only thing that I've found a bit iffy, and they aren't even too big, is 1. Why's bro keep calling Luffy captain? Like, I get he's your captain, but he's also your friend. Call him Luffy in normal situations, but call him captain in serious ones. And 2. I feel he's giving out too much information. I know he's set up a background where it would make sense, but that background is a pretty weak one which could be easily popped, and doesn't explain why he's knows so much about certain individuals. Some things I suggest for your story, which aren't really too involved with your character as I like him. 1. Add onto his "backstory". 2. For close combat, when you reach Skypeia, have Usopp implement dials into his Hammer for close range. Maybe also have him get those bouncy boots from the Shandians (Can't remember too well, it's been quite a while). 3. Make them spar and learn off each other. By now I feel at least Robin, Franky, and Brook should've unlocked some basic haki. We've got 4 masters of it on board the ship now, there aren't much excuses. It would be cool if SH were like a Rocks second coming, although on a much smaller scale. Where all the Strawhats in their prime are atleast 3rd Commander level. And last 4. Please add in some wholesome canon chapters. Where it's not all about plot, and it's just the crew getting up to their same old shenanigans. That's all from me, sorry for the word vomit. Just wanted to get across to you how good your story is and possible things to consider. I know you've already gotten a lot of comments on it, and you've already responded, but I just wanted to emphasize how much you can't drop. Thanks!
After reading a few comments today, it made me realize something. Sorry, but this story is not for you. It doesn't matter whether you read it or not. I don't care if you drop it. All I want to say is that I write this story because I love One Piece. And, I am writing fanfiction. If you don't like the idea then you can easily drop it and clear it from your library. But those who like it should stay whether it is the best moment of the story or the worst moment of the story. Because every moment matters. So, I am going to delete any kind of review if you just give it based on your feelings rather than understanding the story. Because I don't believe that if you understand the story or are willing to wait for more to understand it better then you wouldn't remove a star unless it is for writing quality. I can assure you that.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO UPDATE?!?!??? IT'S BEEN MORE THAN HALF A YEAR!!! CAN'T YOU JUST RELEASE A FEW 100-200 CHAPTERS NOW?! PLEASE?! NOT ALL OF US ARE RICH ENOUGH TO PAY FOR YOUR PATREON MANN!!! JUST UPDATE ALREADY
That's why I don't like 1 star. I'm not going to explain the reasons.!. .!..!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!. .!.
It really great One piece fanfiction!! I love It!!! It have a very great plot/storyline and great english/translation.. The grammar is great too... I like how MC/Liam use his knowledge very great.. He make Strawhats Pirates more stronger.. And his power is also so broken.. Especially he can bet to back to health as soon as possible (bet vitality), and also can steal other people devil fruit.. Love it.. Love it so much your story author sama.. Keep up the great work :D
Hgfhphgldglzglxhlxlhbcchlfu hlclhcnclhcllhfylchlchlyhhgs hfdunnjdjdjfjfifn jgmfmfncbdjfjgigo Bbvvjnb jvghbfunv Job hbuhfbihf hnvyign if not
Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update Please 🙏🏻 update
Please update, your story is great 👍 please continue your story don't dropped this story 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
- The personalities, speech, and thoughts of the characters differ from the show. The author has not accurately captured their personalities, seemingly putting them together based on observations. - POV in the Marine: Garp always seems to be laughing at incorrect times, which does not align with how Garp would laugh. - Nami and Vivi fall in love with the main character even though he did nothing romantically to warrant their affection. They are not shallow enough to fall in love just for looks. - Sanji's reason for having conqueror's haki is weak: "to be the guardian of the crew." In the next panel, Zoro now then doubts his place, feeling he isn't strong enough, the he also becomes the guardian to protect the crew, man you are ruining the depth of characters of the crew. - MC's Knowledge isn't being questioned. I'll just assume the crew is loyal enough not to ask how he knows even the smallest details about Luffy, like Sabo and his amnesia. - Sanji acquiring the lightning-lightning fruit is an odd power-up, considering he already has the Germa blood, this would be better suited for NAMI as she isn't a power house and she could just run fast and additionally she has some science knowledge she may be able to put this in better use - Even with questionable power-ups, the author fails to present a reliable argument within One Piece logic. - After the Alabasta arc, Vivi is forgotten like Tenten, despite having the desert fruit. - Numerous missing sentences disrupt the reader's focus. - The comical punch from Nami is overused and poorly timed. - Another Buggy joins the Straw Hat fleet. Based on Buggy's personality, he would not join another pirate fleet as he now wants to lead his own. He might join an organization but not submit to another pirate fleet. - Man, author, did you not plan on how you would do this? I don't know if this is for another fanfic I've read, but as I read this again, it seems like it's missing the part where he confesses that he knows the future adventures of the crew.
............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Very Good Story. It is just that the posting of chapters is irregular or at times nonexistent so I hope you can change that and atleast have frequent uploads at least weekly.
The story is very good, the only negative thing is the DF which I don't quite understand, that is, I understand the concept of luck and the luck bar that fills up...but honestly, that's not luck, because conveniently the The author writes whether to give him good luck or bad luck, I hope it is not like that, but giving an example, the MC losing and by luck he manages to become stronger than his enemy, it would be said that it was because of the luck bar but it is not like that, the author decided to wish the MC good luck. I loved that the author wanted to innovate with a new DF because it is tiring to read the same stories with Logia DF or zoan DF, but I think the concept or the DF could have been much better. So far I have read up to chapter 54, I will continue reading and if I see that the DF improves I will give a better review
揭示劇透 Mc and Luffy: [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=fp][img=faceslap][img=fp][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
Não liguem para as críticas negativas, quem reclama que a fruta do protagonista e uma armadura de trama e simplesmente burro, ele como e Fruta da Aposta e os idiotas agem como se ele tivesse comido a fruta da sorte.
揭示劇透 It's awesome and amazing and good character development and the story is going without boring plot and good devil fruit and development good planing
Historia entretenida toca esperar que si continúen la serie ........................................................ ........................................................ ........................................................
story got completely forced and bs by this useless dog licking trash mc who licks this luffy like a w or b in heat.
Need more chapters [img=update] this story is good 👍😊 honestly it's one of my best
проду проду проду проду история затягивает где найти продолжэние проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду проду
Great story! Glad it's not your typical OP from the start MC. He starts off really weak but is progressing at a nice pace. Also cool that he's encouraged the rest of the crew to train more too. Particularly Nami and Usopp. They've got so much untapped potential that is literally waiting to burst out. Only thing that I've found a bit iffy, and they aren't even too big, is 1. Why's bro keep calling Luffy captain? Like, I get he's your captain, but he's also your friend. Call him Luffy in normal situations, but call him captain in serious ones. And 2. I feel he's giving out too much information. I know he's set up a background where it would make sense, but that background is a pretty weak one which could be easily popped, and doesn't explain why he's knows so much about certain individuals. Some things I suggest for your story, which aren't really too involved with your character as I like him. 1. Add onto his "backstory". 2. For close combat, when you reach Skypeia, have Usopp implement dials into his Hammer for close range. Maybe also have him get those bouncy boots from the Shandians (Can't remember too well, it's been quite a while). 3. Make them spar and learn off each other. By now I feel at least Robin, Franky, and Brook should've unlocked some basic haki. We've got 4 masters of it on board the ship now, there aren't much excuses. It would be cool if SH were like a Rocks second coming, although on a much smaller scale. Where all the Strawhats in their prime are atleast 3rd Commander level. And last 4. Please add in some wholesome canon chapters. Where it's not all about plot, and it's just the crew getting up to their same old shenanigans. That's all from me, sorry for the word vomit. Just wanted to get across to you how good your story is and possible things to consider. I know you've already gotten a lot of comments on it, and you've already responded, but I just wanted to emphasize how much you can't drop. Thanks!