章節 13: WHAT IS MISSING (1)
Hasta's chest is getting tighter to breathe, seeing Hanin's attention that he can feel without being able to have it.
With an unblinking gaze, Hasta saw that Hanin had really prepared all his needs.
Hanin sat on the edge of the bed, after putting the shoes into their new shoes, Hanin arranged them in the suitcase that already had some of Hasta's clothes.
"Clothes, towels, shoes, toiletries, what else hasn't, sir?" asked Hanin while thinking of something.
"There's only one left, Nin, but for this one, I'll prepare it myself." Hasta said while looking at the clock on the wall which showed nine o'clock at night.
"What is it sir? let me prepare it." said Hanin sitting beside Hasta while wiping her sweaty face.
"No need Nin, let me prepare myself." Hasta said as he got up from his seat but Hanin's hand pulled him hard enough that Hasta couldn't balance and fell on Hanin's body until both of them fell on the bed with Hasta's body on top of Hanin's body.
They both fell silent and looked at each other with emotion.
"Mr. Hasta?" Hanin called in a low voice.
"Hanin." Hasta said with a look that didn't leave Hanin's face.
"Mr. Hasta's body is heavy, I can't breathe." Hanin said in an innocent tone making Hasta's face reddened instantly.
"I'm sorry Nin." Hasta said suddenly getting up and managing the pounding in his chest.
"Hasta, is everything ready?" asked Rahmat who had knocked on the door several times but no one heard him.
Hanin got up from her place then stood facing Hasta.
"So what is not ready sir, let me prepare it now." said Hanin who still insisted on preparing it.
With a long sigh, Hasta was forced to mention what was not in his suitcase.
"Panties." Hasta answered by rubbing the nape of his neck awkwardly.
Hanin's face turned red.
"Erm.. what is it.. should I prepare it, Mr. Hasta?" asked Hanin with her innocent look.
Hasta smiled happily seeing Hanin's face, which still looked innocent after insisting, now showing her innocent face.
"Rahmat, can you please get some black coffee in the back." Hasta said, always remembering to bring Minah's black coffee powder.
While waiting for Rahmat, Hasta took his underwear from the cupboard, and put it in the suitcase.
Hanin who saw it immediately turned her gaze to another place.
"Since everything is done, you can go back to your room Nin. Tomorrow morning you go to school right?" asked Hasta very proud of Hanin's achievement, who always won the class.
"No longer sir, just waiting for the diploma to come out. After that, all you have to do is apply to a nursing vocational university." Hanin replied calmly. It doesn't feel like he has lived with Hasta for three years and her life is very happy.
"You can register yourself, right, Nin?" asked Hasta, unable to accompany Hanin anywhere anymore.
"You can, Mr. Hasta, but I'm more calm when I'm with you." Hanin answered after being honest.
"I'll try, Nin, but now you're an adult and want to go to college, so you have to be independent, because I can't always accompany you Nin." Hasta said with his chest starting to feel tight again.
Hanin raised her face at once Hanin hugged Hasta tightly. For some reason Hasta's words were so deep in her heart that she suddenly cried.
"If I may ask God only one thing I ask for, sir, so that you stay by my side forever." Hanin said making Hasta hard to leave.
"Amen, may your prayers come true Nin." Hasta said smiling and gently caressing Hanin's face.
"Mr. Hasta, is everything ready? What should I bring to the car?" Rahmat asked, very happy to see Hanin hugging Hasta. Rahmat always hoped that Hanin could marry Hasta.
"Just this suitcase, for my briefcase, let me carry it myself." Hasta answered with a smile.
"Hanin now you sleep? I want to go." Hasta said as he let go of Hanin's arms, but Hanin tightened her arms even more.
"Can you not go out of town sir?" asked Hanin, looking up at Hasta's face, which looked handsome in Hanin's eyes.
"I have to leave Hanin, because this is my job," answered Hasta who almost melted with Hanin's sad look.
But when he remembers Hanin's words that he can't love her and can't live with her, Hasta's heart is hurting deeply again.
"Don't leave tonight sir, so I can be with you. Just a few hours is okay." Hanin said sadly.
"Hanin, haven't I been out of town a lot? what's wrong with you today Nin?" Hasta asked getting harder to leave Hanin.
"I feel, you will leave me alone. I feel afraid if you are not with me." Hanin answered honestly, not wanting to part with Hasta.
"Why should you be afraid Nin, aren't there still Jonathan and Rafka who are always there for you Nin?" asked Hasta who could no longer contain his jealousy with the two names of men in Hanin's heart.
Hanin again raised her face to look at Hasta's full face.
"Their existence cannot be the same as Mr. Hasta's presence in my life." Hanin said sadly because Hasta would still leave her.
"Of course my existence is not the same as the existence of the two of them Nin? the existence of Rafka as the man you love, and Jonathan as your friend, while my existence is nothing more than a father." Hasta said in a heart that hurts so much.
"I have to go Nin, take care of yourself okay? don't forget to achieve your goals in earnest." Hasta said with a look full of sadness.
"Don't go Mr. Hasta, I beg you." Hanin said with her crying voice.
"Hanin, don't be like this, I have to leave immediately." Hasta said in a choked voice. Really this separation made his heart hurt even more.
"Promise me to come back quickly, Mr. Hasta." Hanin said with a pleading look.
Hasta nodded his head slowly, then let go of Hanin's embrace which left traces on his skin.
With a wave of Hanin's hand and a sad face, Hasta left everything. Leaving Hanin and his deep love behind.
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