14評論
3.37
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寫檢討
imagining all those f**kers steal and be with one piece girls isn't that good for me . don't look at me like that , i know everyone of you feel the same and somewhat don't feel right in the stomach when you think about it . . . .[img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp]
Poorly disguised "God gives me 10x wishes" story. Very cringe. ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... .......
The initial idea was interesting but executed poorly. Like the genra of powers available to the character seems interesting but is a recipe for disaster. Like why even choose one piece to begin with. If the first mission happens on earth. The power the people have are so crazy, do they even need devil fruits and haki. And why have them see each other powers. This defects the fun of the hunt to me. There is no mystery since everyone knows each other and also their powers. Why is a 6-year-old so powerful these people are from the earth they are not ninjas training from a young age. At least start the story when a character has a chance to grow into their power cuz u hinted they need to train to use it. 6 months and he's ready to do adult stuff tf. It's funny reading this dude was bullied to the extent they wanted him dead for no reason. Also just because he's the villain why would your friend abandon him for a wish. Why they don't even kne what the wish can do. Is that how easily friends of kids are broken. This story has so many discrepancies it was a brain drain reading.
please don't stop posting this story i loved every part of it i will help you with what i can and thanks for creating this story author-sam
Hmm, the concept of the story sounded interesting, so i was willing to check this story out. But, i am severely disappointed. Grammar is horrible, it feels like he wrote non stop and didn't go over it. His sentences are all mixed up, missing, repeated, a or jumbled around the chapter. His MC is an idiot. He sounded cool and calm minded at the beginning, but now, he feels all dull and emotionless. His backstory is insane. An 8 years tries to commit suicide after getting abusively bullied by kids his age, who later torture him with pain amplifiers, for who knows how long
揭示劇透
No idea what I was getting myself into with 6 chapters. Writing quality: the writing quality seemed fine within the first 3 chapters but swiftly went downhill for me. I thought it was going to be well put and written since it does seem like a first of its kind fan fiction, and only so in idea, the quality is like other fan fictions on this app... seems to be written by a 13 year old child with a bloodlust for action and adventure, as well as face slapping banter. Grammar on the other hand is better than most fan fictions. Story development: i can't say much since there was a sudden 6 month time-skip from the world transmigrated to and the protagonists original world all of a sudden. Once returned to the other world I had to drop it. Character design: Character design got a low 2 simply for the fact of sudden changing in attitude and emotions from, needing to train and get stronger, and then shift to blood thirsty and cold blooded killer. Also barely any introductions to any other character other than "izumi". Updating stability: 8 chapters in 9 days, pretty good. not sure if it's going to be stable and keep at this pace. world background: not much of explanations on where specifically anything is or the current events happening. No context clues to follow for this :( overall, could be better but not the worst.
the story is really intense and well made bruh.. it's a new concept of returning to the home world and there's this suspense what'll happen to the villain's family now as they can be targeted by the other classmates
More more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more
So far it's all good. I hope author doesn't drop it anytime soon. ...................................................................................................................................
Haven't read it yet but THIS is new, atleast for me, I would totally raise my hand if I was one of em, 3 wishes? Obviously yes. Haven't read it yet but THIS is new, atleast for me, I would totally raise my hand if I was one of em, 3 wishes? Obviously yes.
Judging from the synopsis, this fanfic has an interesting concept but I expected more for the story.
Nice fic bruh dont drop it..................................................................................................................
Sometimes your ideas are crazy like an 8-year-old boy who commits suicide and uses painkillers but However it still entertains me and doesn't bore me so you should still be enthusiastic
imagining all those f**kers steal and be with one piece girls isn't that good for me . don't look at me like that , i know everyone of you feel the same and somewhat don't feel right in the stomach when you think about it . . . .[img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp][img=fp]
Poorly disguised "God gives me 10x wishes" story. Very cringe. ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... ....... .......
The initial idea was interesting but executed poorly. Like the genra of powers available to the character seems interesting but is a recipe for disaster. Like why even choose one piece to begin with. If the first mission happens on earth. The power the people have are so crazy, do they even need devil fruits and haki. And why have them see each other powers. This defects the fun of the hunt to me. There is no mystery since everyone knows each other and also their powers. Why is a 6-year-old so powerful these people are from the earth they are not ninjas training from a young age. At least start the story when a character has a chance to grow into their power cuz u hinted they need to train to use it. 6 months and he's ready to do adult stuff tf. It's funny reading this dude was bullied to the extent they wanted him dead for no reason. Also just because he's the villain why would your friend abandon him for a wish. Why they don't even kne what the wish can do. Is that how easily friends of kids are broken. This story has so many discrepancies it was a brain drain reading.
please don't stop posting this story i loved every part of it i will help you with what i can and thanks for creating this story author-sam
Hmm, the concept of the story sounded interesting, so i was willing to check this story out. But, i am severely disappointed. Grammar is horrible, it feels like he wrote non stop and didn't go over it. His sentences are all mixed up, missing, repeated, a or jumbled around the chapter. His MC is an idiot. He sounded cool and calm minded at the beginning, but now, he feels all dull and emotionless. His backstory is insane. An 8 years tries to commit suicide after getting abusively bullied by kids his age, who later torture him with pain amplifiers, for who knows how long
揭示劇透 No idea what I was getting myself into with 6 chapters. Writing quality: the writing quality seemed fine within the first 3 chapters but swiftly went downhill for me. I thought it was going to be well put and written since it does seem like a first of its kind fan fiction, and only so in idea, the quality is like other fan fictions on this app... seems to be written by a 13 year old child with a bloodlust for action and adventure, as well as face slapping banter. Grammar on the other hand is better than most fan fictions. Story development: i can't say much since there was a sudden 6 month time-skip from the world transmigrated to and the protagonists original world all of a sudden. Once returned to the other world I had to drop it. Character design: Character design got a low 2 simply for the fact of sudden changing in attitude and emotions from, needing to train and get stronger, and then shift to blood thirsty and cold blooded killer. Also barely any introductions to any other character other than "izumi". Updating stability: 8 chapters in 9 days, pretty good. not sure if it's going to be stable and keep at this pace. world background: not much of explanations on where specifically anything is or the current events happening. No context clues to follow for this :( overall, could be better but not the worst.
the story is really intense and well made bruh.. it's a new concept of returning to the home world and there's this suspense what'll happen to the villain's family now as they can be targeted by the other classmates
More more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more
So far it's all good. I hope author doesn't drop it anytime soon. ...................................................................................................................................
Haven't read it yet but THIS is new, atleast for me, I would totally raise my hand if I was one of em, 3 wishes? Obviously yes. Haven't read it yet but THIS is new, atleast for me, I would totally raise my hand if I was one of em, 3 wishes? Obviously yes.
Judging from the synopsis, this fanfic has an interesting concept but I expected more for the story.
Nice fic bruh dont drop it..................................................................................................................
Sometimes your ideas are crazy like an 8-year-old boy who commits suicide and uses painkillers but However it still entertains me and doesn't bore me so you should still be enthusiastic