4評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
Normally I don't have anything good to say I don't say anything at all but this is one of the few fanfics I really do have to say that you really need to delete this and rethink your story it is completely terrible the chapters are too short the main character is nothing but garbage I really do not want to discourage anyone from writing but you need to go back to the drawing board completely and seriously think about how and what you're writing if you're going to do this badly
well the story progresses fast, maybe it would be better if it took more time in some parts, I almost thought he would mess with cersei, the mc seems like a beta who only knows how to be a follower and doesn't make his own decisions. For the rest it seems that everything that happens is very convenient for the mc and he just gets carried away.
揭示劇透
why is your MC so submissive ? is he an M. All I read so far was him being led by 14-15 year old girl, all he did on his own was to make a soap and nothing more, don't he have any kind of short term goal to a long one ?
man what is this.its like someone wrote a Japanese beta male mc isekai story but westoros as the settings . everything is the same as a trash Japanese isekai novel like everything is convenient for mc. he has a girl who is the man of the house. who can rob him blind but won't because she loves him which he is oblivious too. he even meet her on the very first day
Normally I don't have anything good to say I don't say anything at all but this is one of the few fanfics I really do have to say that you really need to delete this and rethink your story it is completely terrible the chapters are too short the main character is nothing but garbage I really do not want to discourage anyone from writing but you need to go back to the drawing board completely and seriously think about how and what you're writing if you're going to do this badly
well the story progresses fast, maybe it would be better if it took more time in some parts, I almost thought he would mess with cersei, the mc seems like a beta who only knows how to be a follower and doesn't make his own decisions. For the rest it seems that everything that happens is very convenient for the mc and he just gets carried away.
揭示劇透 why is your MC so submissive ? is he an M. All I read so far was him being led by 14-15 year old girl, all he did on his own was to make a soap and nothing more, don't he have any kind of short term goal to a long one ?
man what is this.its like someone wrote a Japanese beta male mc isekai story but westoros as the settings . everything is the same as a trash Japanese isekai novel like everything is convenient for mc. he has a girl who is the man of the house. who can rob him blind but won't because she loves him which he is oblivious too. he even meet her on the very first day