章節 7: SIX
ELOISE
I got home late in the afternoon. That was after I had been spam called and texted a hundred times by my adoptive parents. I did send them a message urging them not to involve the police and promising that I would be back very soon to explain things. I had switched off my device for their sakes soon after. The bus dropped me a few blocks away from my house and as I highlighted the vehicle, I observed our house. There was no blaring siren or ominous black car. Not a crowd in sight too. That had to mean good news. Placated, I walked briskly to the door and shoved my spare key into the keyhole. It didn't budge of course. Not when another key was already in. I swore under my breath as I slowly but inevitably knocked the door. I heard mom's voice first.
"There is someone at the door!" She practically yelled. Her voice was apprehensive. A tell tale sign of the explanations I would have to provide soon enough. "Honey, go check."
I heard loud footsteps. It took only a moment. The key behind clicked and the door flung open. I had my story prepared. Agitated parents would believe anything after all. I would acknowledge that they were right and I had gone to Marblefay to do some wishful thinking. But all those excuses fizzled out of me when I made eye contact with the man who had opened the door. Clay Carter. My brother.
"Clay..." I tried to speak only to be immediately greeted by his palms. My cheeks burned from the strength of his assault.
"What is wrong with you!" Clay yelled at me. "You worried them sick and you know very well that mom's health cannot handle your tantrums. Why do you do this Eloise? Must you be the center of attraction every damn time?"
I couldn't answer. I was still reeling from the slap. My face still burned and all I could was clench my fists and rein in the tears threatening to pour. I knew that Clay hated me. He had never shown it this publicly. It was always subtle but I was not stupid. I used to catch the revulsion that overwhelmed me when I was close. It had been that way for as long as I remembered. Well, up until Clay moved out to focus on his small business. We were also never really close even with that space and distance. The bond we shared was merely one in paper. I was his adoptive sister to the world and nothing else.
Mom ran towards us soon after. She must have heard the slap. She must have seen the shock in my face. She pushed her son out of the way and hugged me. "Where did you go Eloise?" She didn't even wait for an answer. Not sure she was even expecting one. She pulled me inside, shut the door and faced Clay. "Why the hell would you slap your sister?" She demanded. "That was cruel. You have no idea what she has been through. Can you just be supportive brother your sister needs for once."
That look peeled his fine features off. Revulsion. Scorching hot hate directed at me and me alone. I could almost taste his sting before he even conjured the words.
"Except Eloise is not my sister. She isn't even my half or step sister. Not only do we have different skin colors, we clearly have distinct coping mechanisms. I don't give you guys panic attacks and downright paranoia when I have a meltdown. No! But Eloise is a different ball game. She craves it. Don't you, Eloise? The attention probably makes your blood rush. Especially when you can blame it on that silly traumatic experience your sorry little self had to suffer at the tender age of six."
"I hate this guy." My wolf immediately snap and I felt malicious rage overwhelm me. How dare he talk about my experience like it was something I just had to get over? Clay still had his parents. He had a privileged life. He didn't suffer from insomnia and the dreadful and pungent thought that a monster of a father who probably still roamed a free man after his short stint in prison was lurking and waiting for the perfect time to strike. I would kill to be well adjusted.
"You are right." I finally broke the toxic silence emanating from all four corners of our house. Clay's racist and victim blaming statement had left both our parents in a state of utter shock. "We are not biological siblings. I am black and my coping mechanism are unhealthy because they are rooted in something no child should ever have to witness. My dad killed my mom Clay. He would have killed me too. There are just somethings you don't forget."
"Get over it Eloise!" He screamed back. "It has been fourteen years. You are safe. You have a wonderful family now. You are fucking safe!"
His finishing statement had barely left his mouth when Mr. Carter walked over and whacked the words right out of his son's mouth. "How dare you Clay?" He demanded. His voice hissed like broken glass in tar. "How dare you talk so insensitive to your sister?"
A single tear stained Clay's cheek. I see his eyes survey the room. His eyes flew from the unforgiving glare of his father to the disappointed gape of his mother. Those same eyes travelled my way and I watched those big brown eyes drastically change. What was once filled with dismay now burned with insidious rage.
Clay scoffed as he smeared away the single drying tear from his cheeks. "Why do I even bother?" He began. "I leave my work to help you guys and you still paint me as the enemy. Not that I am surprised. This is always how it has been." Another tear escaped his eyelid but he quickly wiped the damned thing before it could pour. He remained where he was for a few moment. As if expecting an answer or contemplating something. The silence was thick. I didn't know how to react to his reaction. We truly did not have a close relationship. Truth be told, I wasn't even sure we had one but I couldn't let the air remain this lethal. It was my fault after all. If I hadn't done those drugs with that blasted Beta, things would have been different. I was so troubled in my own thoughts that I almost missed Clay picking up his keys and walking towards the front door.
"Clay," I called out at the last minute. He froze. That reaction alone caused me to continue speaking. "You are right about one thing. I shouldn't have been so selfish. I know you care about mom and dad. I care too. They are our parents after all. I should have carried them along with my plans..."
"Enough Eloise," Clay retorted, finally turning back to face me. A gut wrenching sob tore through his chest and the tears he had managed to rein in for so long came pouring in waterworks."Enough. I have lost my parents. I lost them the unfortunate night we found you. Oh, innocent broken little you. That is all they see in you. It's why they see the need to save you. It didn't get better from there though. Your tragic sorry self never healed. Even now. You needed love. All that my parents had to give. Therapy, Presents. None for me of course. I on the other hand was well adjusted. So well adjusted that my parents saw no need to keep treating me like the child I was. I had no time to be a child. I had to become an older brother to you, a fortress you could lean on. I had to grow up long before I even wanted to. I thought...maybe when she grows a little, she will come to realise that she is safe but your attention seeking game only heightened. I never got my parents back from you. While I scoured the mountains and beyond to make them acknowledge me, you only had to do the bare minimum. I thought maybe when I grew enough and moved out, I wouldn't have to deall with you anymore. Boy, was I wrong. You dominate my thoughts and heart every moment. It has taken me time to realize that I am not wrong to hate you Eloise."
"You...hate me?" I stammered.
"Yes! And I am not a monster for saying it. So hear me when I say this Eloise, I hate you with every fibre of my being for stealing my childhood and my parents."
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