章節 7: 7
I admit that there hadn't really been a time in my life before where I'd cared much about my family's past.
Maybe some of that came from how I'd grown up. It was definitely true that Seraphina and I were shielded a lot in our younger years. Even though I'd had nightmares and strange dreams since I could remember, I'd never had to deal with real threats in my life. Yeah, I knew that different creatures had shown up from time to time around Madison, but we'd never seen them or had to deal with them. Our parents and grandparents dealt with whatever issues they might've caused.
There also never seemed to be any real issues within our family, just the usual disagreements at times over little things. Our family dynamic was always close, and we all liked the feeling from that. Even with my conflicted feelings about what I was and my ever growing dislike of my mostly ideal home life, at least I felt some comfort being with them.
But now that things from the past were starting to come out, I was realizing that there was always something a little darker lying just under the surface of this normalcy we'd come to know and take for granted. No one really talked about the past before we'd been born. Now I suspected that there were very serious reasons why, and I also wondered if it went even further back than the horrific deaths of Missy and her mother.
This was what had brought me up to the attic in Michael's house shortly after my parents had left to get Seraphina. I'd asked his permission to go upstairs before he'd picked up the phone to call his brother Raphael, and him and Sara had allowed me. I'd be safe as long as I was there in the house.
I was feeling very frustrated as I walked up those stairs. Not only had I landed myself in trouble that morning with my parents, now everyone was worried about me because I was more than likely being haunted by the spirit of my murdered grandmother. All of this meant that I wasn't going to be able to escape being watched over for quite a while.
And that meant that I wouldn't be able to see Lenore anytime soon.
Thinking about that brought pain into my chest. My beautiful Astarte was going to be alone, and she probably wouldn't understand what happened. I needed to figure out a want to contact her to at least let her know what was going on and that I wasn't abandoning her. There had to be some way to do it. I'd give it some serious thought once I was able to get home and have some time to myself.
The attic of my grandfather's house was very big, expanding over the entire top floor. Most of it had been done as an art studio, which showcased Michael's paintings, drawings and photography. I loved coming up here whenever I visited and seeing his work. Him, Mia and Seraphina were amazing artists.
The paintings up there that Michael had recently done were of the landscapes and waterways around Madison. I took them in, almost feeling like I was there. It was incredible how lifelike his work was.
One of a meadow and trees in particular caught my eye, and I thought about asking him if I could have it for my room. It was so serene looking that I felt like it brought peace to my soul. Damn if I didn't need more of that right now.
I looked around me, my eyes finally landing on some boxes and chests that were placed against the wall on the furthest side of the room. There they were. I knew they had to be somewhere up here.
I'd come up there with the idea of searching for anything that might be connected to our family's past and Missy Renaldi. Since she'd been Michael's first wife, I'd reasoned that he might have kept things from his time with her, not to mention brought things back from that house where she'd been living when he'd helped clean it out after she died.
I was searching for something, anything, that might connect the dots about why she'd be haunting me. I didn't believe that all of this was just for the family connections involved in Missy's death. I couldn't explain why, but I was certain that there was something more to it, something that was connected to what happened to me when I was arguing with Mia earlier. I thought that if I could find more information about her and our family's past, then maybe I could piece together what that something was.
There weren't many boxes there, and most were marked for the holidays. I turned to the two chests that were sitting near these boxes. Both were large chests, more of the older type that had a place in front to padlock them. Neither were locked. All I had to do was click open the tabs on the sides and lift the top.
Both chests were big and deep, and the first one I opened didn't appear to have much to offer. There were mostly different little trinkets stored inside of it, a few of which I recognized as seasonal gifts that Seraphina and I had made for Michael and Sara. Some of the others were older, and I noticed my mom's initials on them. They must've been things she'd made in her childhood for Michael.
I felt a smile cross my face as I looked at them, imaging my mother as a little girl. I'd seen pictures that she had of when she was growing up, and yeah, she was always very cute and pretty. Even though Seraphina was a red head, I liked thinking that she looked a lot like her, especially now. Of course, it was also a given that I'd always think that my mom and sister were beautiful, Nephilim or not.
After another moment of letting myself enjoy these thoughts, I finally pushed them aside and closed the chest. I needed to keep searching, and I didn't have a lot of time to do it before I would end up caught.
"Focus Sevee." I told myself, "You need to keep looking."
I moved over to the next chest, opening the top and looking at what was inside. The first thing I saw was light blue fabric, which I quickly realized was folded clothing. I pulled the top one out, letting it unfold so that I could see what it was. It turned out to be a really nice looking sundress. Could this have been Missy's?
I didn't think so. Something about the design and color didn't feel like it fit who she'd been. The thought crossed my mind that it might've belonged to Michael's mother. That was pretty cool if it did.
I didn't know much of anything about my great grandparents. Mia had told me once that they'd both died a long time ago, and she didn't remember them either because she'd been so young. I wondered if I might be able to at least find a picture of them in here. That would be worth all this trouble too.
Yeah, it was also some distraction, but I didn't mind.
I carefully refolded the dress, not wanting to be disrespectful, and placed it beside me. After gently removing a few more pieces of clothing, some of which were a man's shirts and pants, I finally came to where several large books had been placed in the bottom of the chest. They looked like old photo albums.
Jackpot! This might be just what I wanted to find.
I sat back on my knees as I took out the first book. It was an older photo album, on the bigger side with pages that pictures could be stuck in. I opened the front cover, and was greeted with some older Polaroid photos. I looked closer at them, studying them. They were family photos of children; two little boys and two little girls.
It suddenly dawned on me who they must've been. The boys were both blondes, and the girls had auburn hair. All had light blue eyes except for the oldest, whose eyes were a darker blue. I couldn't believe it.
It was Michael, Raphael and Gabrielle as kids.
I was instantly fascinated. I'd never seen any pictures of them as children before.
Flipping through the album, I noticed that these pictures began from the time they were toddlers. There was a man and woman with them in many of the photos too, and some even had the man and woman by themselves or together. I was sure that they were my great grandparents. In fact, Michael and Raphael both looked a lot like the man, although I felt like Raphael resembled him more. He had the same light blonde hair and light blue eyes, and was incredibly good looking, just like them. There was no mistaking that he was their dad.
Their mom was very beautiful too. She had long hair much like my own mother, except that her hair was auburn, reminding me of Gabrielle's. Her eyes were also a pretty shade of light brown. Seeing her, I was a little taken back. While I'd thought that Seraphina looked like my mom, I could actually see more resemblance between her and lady. Their faces had a lot of the same features, and her smile looked just like my sister's.
Well, I probably shouldn't have been this surprised. She was technically our great-grandmother. The genetics were there.
But as I continued looking through the pictures, confusion began setting in. The only aunt I'd ever known was Gabrielle, but there were two little girls in these pictures. They were together in a lot of them, and they looked almost exactly alike. That was weird. Did I have another aunt? No one had ever said anything about that before.
"Sevee?"
Sara's voice brought me back to reality. I looked over my shoulder to see her coming into the attic.
"Oh hey." I greeted her, making sure to explain myself, "Sorry if I'm snooping. I just saw this chest over here and got curious."
"It's okay. I don't think Michael would mind." Sara assured me. She sat down beside me, peeking at the album in my hands, "Oh? Is that an old family photo album?"
So she didn't know about this either. At least, not with how she was reacting.
"I think so. You've never seen it before?" I asked her as I handed it to her.
Sara shook her head, "No, I haven't. Michael did tell me that he had one, but I've kept forgetting to remind him to show me."
"It's really interesting. I've never seen pictures of them as kids before. I wonder how far the pictures in her go into their lives." I continued.
"I'm not sure."
Curiosity got the better of both of us, and Sara flipped towards the back of the album. We saw pictures that looked like they were taken when Michael and his siblings were in their late teens. They didn't look much different than they did now. I betted this was around the time they began to awaken as Nephilim.
But scanning through them, I stopped at one in particular. It was one of Michael, and there was a very familiar looking woman standing with him.
It was Missy.
I couldn't believe it. She looked exactly the same as that picture I'd seen in my dreams. She was maybe sixteen or seventeen years old, with long dark hair and expressive brown eyes. There was a happy smile on her face as she looked at him, and Michael looked just as happy. My eyes trailed down to her waist, and I saw the bulge in the middle of her white dress. It wasn't too big yet, but I could definitely tell that she was pregnant.
Wow, I thought. She's pregnant with my mom.
I glanced at Sara, who was also looking at this picture. There wasn't any hint of jealousy as she looked at it. Instead, she looked sympathetic as she gently touched Missy's image.
"She really was a beautiful woman. It's so sad what happened to her." she commented softly.
"You really don't feel jealous about her?" I had to ask.
"There's no reason for me to." Sara responded, "I didn't know Michael until your dad was fifteen years old, and I'd only recently lost Sage when we met. We both had others that we loved first, and nothing will change how we'll always feel about that first love in our hearts. Besides, I've always felt sad for Missy and what happened to her. She went through a lot in those years after Mia was born, and she died so tragically. No one deserves all that pain."
I looked down, "It's not like I hate her. I hate what she's putting me through, but I do feel bad for what I've heard about what happened to her." I acknowledged.
Sara gave me a gentle smile, "That's because you have a gentle heart Sevee, and I'm glad that you've been able to keep that even with all you've had to go through. Hopefully we can help you now, and maybe we'll also be able to help her move on."
"Maybe." I took the book back from her, flipping towards the front and stopping at a picture of the two little girls together, "Hey Grandma, you know a lot of the Renaldi family now, right? Do you know who this other little girl is?"
She looked at the picture with me, and I saw her eyes widened slightly.
"I didn't know there were pictures of her." she whispered.
"Who is she? Is she also Michael's sister?" I asked.
"Yes." Sara confirmed. She shifted a little, "I don't know that much about her, and I've heard that she died as a teenager. Anyway, she was Gabrielle's twin sister. Her name was Noel. I saw her grave before with Michael when we went to the church yard at Trinity, and he told me a little bit about her. She apparently had a very tragic life too. She was traumatized when she was eight years old after she'd been kidnapped and abused, and she took her own life when she was sixteen."
Are you kidding me? I thought. How many damned skeletons can one family have?
But I didn't voice that, even though I really wanted to. Noel had been dead for a long time if that was the case, and her brothers and sister were alive and well.
"Guess I could see why they don't like talking about that, and it was a long time ago. But do you really think they can help me now?" I asked her.
"I know we can. Michael won't stop until he does, and neither will rest of us. We love you too much to let you keep suffering like this. I just wish you'd told us a long time ago so that you didn't have to suffer for so long." Sara responded.
I sighed, "Yeah, I do too now."
I decided to put the stuff back now. There was nothing more I could learn from any of it. But as I held the book up vertically, a picture suddenly fell out of the very back of it. It looked portrait size as it laid face down on the hardwood floor.
"Oh, one of them must've come loose." Sara commented as she picked it up.
My breath caught in my throat as she turned it over. This picture looked much older, like maybe from the forties or fifties. It was a portrait of a beautiful young woman who was maybe around eighteen. She had black hair that curled just below her shoulders and light colored eyes. She was smiling as she sat on a porch swing, wearing a nice looking dress that reflected the fifties style.
But none of this was what had caught me so off guard. That was because this woman looked like one had had seen in other nightmares.
It hadn't been only Missy Renaldi who haunted my dreams in the beginning. I used to have dreams about this woman too. They were always fragmented and strange, but I got the sense that she was deathly afraid of something. There was something dark trying to influence her. But she was trying to fight it, even though it was pulling on what appeared to be her worst fears and memories. I didn't understand those that well, although I did remember the feeling of being trapped and terrified in a dark place, and seeing dark figures coming to hurt her as a child.
Sara looked puzzled as she looked at her, "That's odd." she muttered.
"You don't know who she is?" I managed, doing my best not to sound so shaken up.
"No. I don't recognize her." Sara admitted. She looked closer at the woman, "Although now that I look closer, her face does remind me a little of Gabrielle. She must be a family member. Let's ask Michael. I'm sure he knows."
We finished replacing everything in the chest, then headed downstairs. Michael was finishing on the phone when we got there.
"Hey, did you get a hold of them?" Sara asked as we stepped over to him.
"Yes. Raphael and Gabrielle are going to stop by this evening so that we can discuss all of this and try to figure out what can be done." Michael answered. He noticed that she was holding the picture in her hand, "What's that?"
"Oh, Sevee and I were looking through some pictures upstairs and we found this. We didn't recognize her, so we wanted to ask you who she is." Sara explained as she handed it to him.
Michael looked pleasantly surprised as he saw it.
"I haven't seen this picture for years. Where did you find it?" he asked her.
"It fell out of the back of an album." Sara answered.
"Who is she Pop? Is she another family member?" I asked.
"She is." Michael confirmed, "This is Annabelle Renaldi. She's my grandmother."
This was his grandmother? While it did dawn on me that I'd heard her name before, I hadn't put it together until now.
"Oh wow. So this is Annabelle? She was married to the Angel who started your family, right?" Sara recalled.
Michael nodded, "Yes, but we've never found any pictures of him. There's only a few of her that we know exist too. I halfway recall our dad telling us that there was a fire that destroyed a lot of them when they were kids, so we're lucky to have what we do. He also mentioned that she didn't like her picture taken that often either."
The wheels in my mind were turning as he spoke. This woman had been my great-great grandmother, and the one who helped start our family. There was more to what I was seeing in my dreams before. I was sure of it.
"Hey Pop, how much do you know about Annabelle?" I spoke up.
"Not a whole lot. She died when I was only about two years old." Michael admitted. He thought about it before continuing, "I know that she was originally born in Poland, and I heard before from my father that she was a child survivor of the death camps during the Holocaust. He also said that she had a tattoo on her arm from it that she always tried to keep hidden. But she was always a very kind and gentle woman according to him, and she always accepted what her family was going to be."
"I guess she had to be if she'd agreed to marry an Angel and start this family, but I'm confused now too." I responded.
"What about?" Michael inquired.
"Your dad." I responded, "He was the son of her and this Angel, right? So why didn't he change like the rest of us?"
That had Sara's interest too, "It is strange when you think about it Michael. Your father would've been the most direct descendant." she pointed out.
"Yes, that is all true, and we've never understood it either. My dad was actually the oldest of three children that the Angel and Annabelle had. He had a younger brother and sister. But none of them ever had their bloodline awaken. He never explained why that was to us, even though we always believed that he knew the answers." Michael explained to us.
"And his brother and sister didn't have kids?" I probed.
"No, they never did." Michael answered, "I do remember that Uncle Lance died when we were kids, and he was still young, only in his early twenties. I think it was in some kind of fire, but I don't know all the details, although Raphael might. I do know that Aunt Dot lived a lot longer. I think I remember hearing that she passed away right after our dad, but she lived out in Tennessee, so we didn't see her before that for a long time."
Something felt really off as he said all of this. It was like that familiar inkling of darkness was creeping back up on me. Was it connected somehow? If so, then I'd been right. It did go way beyond what happened with Missy.
My thoughts were interrupted by the front door opening. Sean was back to pick me up. I noticed it was just him too. Mom must've stayed home with Seraphina.
"Hey, how's everything been going?" he asked us.
"It's been fine. I'm going to meet up with Raphael and Gabrielle this evening to talk about what's going on, so I'll let you and Mia know what we can come up with to deal with this." Michael told him.
"Sounds like a plan to me." Sean sighed. He noticed the picture he was holding, "Who's that? I don't remember seeing her before."
"Oh, Sevee and I just found her picture upstairs. She's Michael's grandmother, Annabelle." Sara answered.
Sean was instantly interested, "This is Annabelle? I've always wondered what she looked like. I can see where Gabrielle takes after her in some ways." he commented.
Michael was pleasantly amused, "Our dad used to say that too, although she does look much more like our mother."
I noted that he didn't say anything about Noel with all of that, but left it alone. After what Sara had told me, I got why he wouldn't.
"Anyway," Sean continued, "I think Mia will feel better once I get Sevee back home. Seraphina's there with her now, and hopefully we can make sure nothing else happens for now."
"I don't think it will, but if anything does, please let me know. We'll do what we can to take care of it." Michael promised him.
No, I didn't feel that comfortable as I walked out of that house with my dad, but I couldn't avoid it either, especially knowing that my mother was desperate to have me home. I knew Mia too well. She was probably worrying sick about me now. I halfway wondered if I'd be allowed to sleep in a room alone for a while.
Sean let out a long breath as the two of us sat in the car. I noticed from the corner of my eye that he looked tired. I wondered how long he'd been up. Maybe he'd even spent half the night worrying about me.
I wondered why he hadn't come looking for me if that was the case. He very easily could've tracked my scent, although it might've turned out badly if he had and caught me with Lenore.
"Yeah, so I know this is a stupid question, but are you okay?" I asked him.
"I will be. It's just been a lot today, and I guess I haven't pulled myself together as much as I thought." Sean answered. He started the car and pulled out of the driveway.
The guilt returned then. I knew I should be apologizing now, and not just for this morning. I had never made things easy for him or my mom. But I guessed I could start with the obvious.
"For what it's worth, I'm really sorry about this morning. I wasn't trying to scare you and Mom, and I wasn't out looking for trouble or anything like that. I was just clearing my head and lost track of time."
Yes, that last part was a lie, but telling him the truth about Lenore right now probably would turn out even worse.
"While I appreciate the apology and I know you mean it, I'm not that angry about it now." Sean responded, "I'll also apologize to you. I was so worried and upset with you that I did overreact and didn't hear you out like I should have. I'm just glad that your mom did."
I couldn't stop the painful smile from crossing my face as I looked out of the window. The vision of her reaction to hearing about my nightmares returned. I was glad I'd be getting to see her now. I needed to hug her and make sure she was okay. She'd been through way too much today.
"I feel really bad about all of this. I couldn't tell you or Mom. I really thought I could handle it on my own. I never thought those dreams were real." I confessed.
Sean was quiet. I glanced at him again, noticing a faraway look in his eyes now. It was like something was really bothering him.
"Dad?" I said after a few minutes.
He snapped back to reality, "Yeah, sorry." he apologized. He waited until we pulled into our driveway a few minutes later before speaking again, "Sevee, there's something I want to talk to you about, but I'd rather not do it with your mother around to hear, so I'd like you to come out with me later."
"Um, sure." I reluctantly agreed.
The way he said that instantly made me nervous. I hoped that this wouldn't end up being about Lenore. Maybe he did figure out that I was meeting with her.
But there was nothing else I could do about this now. I'd just have to wait and see what he'd say when he talked to me.
Our house felt the same as it always did as we stepped inside. Mia and Seraphina were in the den, although Seraphina immediately got up when she saw me. I was a little startled when she ran over and hugged me.
"I'm so glad you're okay. I was so worried about you!" she declared.
"Why? Nothing's happened to me." I managed to respond.
"But it's been happening to you!" Seraphina responded, pulling back to face me, "All those nightmares you've always have were real, and she's been tormenting you with them!"
"That's enough Sera. Sevee's fine, and we'll make sure he stays that way." Sean reassured her.
Mia smiled, standing up as we came into the den, "It does feel a little better knowing that Michael will help us with this. Between him and Raphael, I'm sure they can figure out how to make it all stop." she added.
"I'd imagine that if anyone can find that answer, it would be your uncle. Raphael's very well versed in a lot of things regarding the other side now." Sean agreed.
This was all interesting, but I was more concerned with my mother.
"Are you sure you're okay Mom? I know it was really hard on you when we found out about things with your mom." I said as I stood in front of her.
"I'm doing a lot better now Sevee. Yes, it hurt a lot, but I'm pulling myself together." Mia assured me. She gently ran a hand over my cheek, "I'm more worried about you. This has been going on for a long time, and I know how scared I felt when she died like that and I found out about Grand-mom. I can't imagine what it's been like for you to have to keep seeing them like that, even if it is in dreams."
"Yeah. It's been like witnessing Hell in a lot of ways, but I'm not weak enough for her to break me." I swore to them.
"No. You've always been strong, a lot like your dad." Mia agreed, smiling slightly at Sean.
Sean shrugged it off, "I don't know if I'd call myself that all the time. I might just be better at hiding some things."
Seraphina was still hugging my arm, "What happens now?" she asked them, "How long do you think it's going to take to stop Sevee's nightmares and make her go away?"
"We don't know yet, but for now, we'll just take things as they come. Your mom and I will also do what we can to keep things from getting any worse." Sean told her.
"You do know that I'm not into the idea of always been watched over. I can sleep on my own." I informed them.
"Yes, and there's no reason for us to force you not to. Everything's only been in your dreams, and nothing's ever harmed you there, so you should be okay." Sean agreed.
Mia wasn't quite as convinced, "Maybe, but I do want to be able to check on you. It'll make me feel better." she added.
"I guess." I reluctantly agreed.
"I'm right next door to his room too Mom, so I can listen for anything that doesn't sound right." Seraphina offered.
"I said I'm fine." I reiterated louder.
Sean chuckled, "It's alright. You know your mother and sister are just worried about you."
Nope, I couldn't argue that one. At least I felt like I was loved.
Things seemed pretty normal at home after that. We went about our day like our family usually did, and none of us talked anymore about my nightmares or Missy Renaldi. For my part, I was trying to push it all to the back of my mind and enjoy being with my sister and parents. After hearing everything that had happened in my mother's childhood and her mother's illness and horrible demise, I was appreciating my life just a little bit more.
But as the evening rolled around, Sean finally decided that it was time for us to talk. Since Mia and Seraphina were busy with one of my sister's paintings, he was able to pull us away with the claim that we were just going outside to get in a quick evening walk.
We headed out to the end of the driveway, continuing to walk down the side of the lonely country road. I felt a little nervous now, but did my best to hide it. Whatever my dad had to say, I'd man up and listen.
We'd been walking in silence for about five minutes before he finally decided to speak.
"You know Sevee, the older you get, the more I realize how much you and I have been alike." he stated.
"I'd say that's a compliment, but I'm not sure if that's right with what we are." I joked.
Sean chuckled, "Yes, you do have a point. But I do mean it in a good way. Even if things have been hard here and there, I've always been very proud of you and your sister."
"I know. You've told us that before, and I believe you. Our family has always loved each other, even if I make it hard sometimes." I responded.
"Well, I can't say that I didn't expect some of it even before you were born." Sean lamented. He looked up at the sky as he continued, "To be honest with you, there was a time when I didn't think that I would ever have children. The day that your mother told me she was pregnant with you and Seraphina was one of the best days of my life. Not only did I have her, now we were going to have a family of our own. It was like a dream come true for me."
"Why didn't you think you'd have kids?" I asked, "Was it because you didn't think you'd meet someone like Mom?"
Sean shook his head, "No. I haven't told you this before, but things work a little differently at times for those of us how are half human when it comes to such things. A lot of children born between Foxes and humans can't have children for some reason, and I was warned of that possibility since I was very young. While I could reason that your mother being a Nephilim might've made a difference, I was fully prepared for the possibility that it still may not happen. Like I said, I was elated when it did, and I swore from that moment that I'd protect you no matter what, just like I'd always protect her."
I couldn't stop the grin from crossing my face, "Bet you weren't expecting two of us." I teased.
"Not at all, but I like to think it was a pleasant surprise, especially when you and Seraphina turned out to be a boy and a girl." Sean admitted.
At that, I decided to cut to the chase. No sense in dancing around stuff, and he did seem like he was in an okay mood.
"Hey Dad, I know this might sound rude and all, but why did you want to talk to me like this? It couldn't just be to tell me what I mean to you. You've always said those things in front of Mom and Seraphina."
"No, that isn't the reason, even if it's always been true." Sean sighed. He drew in another breath before continuing, "The thing is, I wanted to talk to you about what's going on now, and what happened back when Missy was killed. There's things that I need to tell you, and even though your Mom knows most of them, I don't want to hurt her again with it."
I nodded, "Makes sense, and I'll listen. I still feel like I haven't gotten the full story with all of that. Michael told me the gist of it with how she was killed and that Fox was related to us, but I feel like he left some stuff out too."
"I'd imagine he did. It was a very traumatic event in a lot of ways, and I believe that him and Mia are still protecting themselves mentally over it." Sean responded.
"So, what else happened? Missy came here to get Mom, and that Fox killed her, right?"
"Yes." Sean acknowledged, "But I also carry a lot of guilt from that time. Like I said, your mother knows about this too, and it's not easy to talk about. Back when all of that happened, your mom and Raziel were taken hostage by that Fox. He took them to his den, and Missy was also there. She was tasked with keeping an eye on them to make sure that they wouldn't escape while he was waiting for me. But from what I've come to know, your mother was able to use her abilities to clear her mind, and Missy tried to help them. She was too late though, and the Fox returned and figured out that she was no longer under his control. That was when he led her away to another part of his den."
"And he killed her there." I surmised.
"Yes, but there's a bit more to it from my side."
"More?"
Sean stopped with me so that he could face me.
"I've always told you that Fox nature can be a cut throat thing. You and I both carry it, whether we wish to or not. We'll always be aggressive when it comes to what we want, not to mention extremely selfish at times. For me, that came out in a horrible way with your mother. Back when she and Raziel were taken by that Fox, I took it upon myself to locate that den right away. I went far ahead of anyone else, including your grandfather and uncle, and I managed to find it and make my way inside. When I was slipping through the maze of tunnels, I caught sight of that Fox taking Missy Renaldi into one of his many caverns, and I followed them to see what was going on." he explained.
I was immediately getting the gist of what he was implying.
"You saw him kill her?"
"I did." Sean confirmed, "But more than that, I also didn't attempt to help her. When I told your mother and Michael that I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to stop that Fox because I was a young half breed, I was lying. I could've stepped in and possibly stopped it from happening. He was only truly after me. But I also knew that Missy wanted to take your mother back to Miami, and with her mind cleared, she very well could've tried to do so. For that, I made the selfish choice not to stop him, and let her die."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. That didn't sound like my dad at all. The Sean I had grown up with was kind and loving. He wasn't the type of person to let someone die.
"I can't believe that Dad. That's not you. You've never wanted to hurt anybody or see them get hurt, let alone let another Fox kill them." I reasoned.
"That's not true Sevee. I did try to hurt your mother before, and I did hurt her to an extent before she broke me." Sean reminded me. He stopped and looked down, letting out a long breath, "But I confess that I've carried guilt over what I allowed for seventeen years now. I hated myself for being so selfish and letting her die like that, and it's haunted me ever since. I still have nightmares over it, and I've woken up plenty of times wishing I could turn back time and take it back. That's why it's eating me up now about what's happening to you. I'm the one who deserves to be haunted by her, and be the target of her wrath. You never had anything to do with it."
My mind was conflicted as I absorbed all of this. I couldn't deny that my dad was telling the truth about what he'd done back then, what he'd allowed to happen. It obviously still got to him. But for as awful as it was, I knew that I probably would do the same thing if it meant keeping Lenore. I might sacrifice someone to save and keep her, even if I doubted it would ever be my close family.
"I'm not gonna blame you Dad." I informed him, "What's done is done, and we can't take it back, no matter how much we want to. But I think I get why she'd go after me too. At least some of why. I'm your son, and Mom broke her and made her vulnerable. That Fox that killed her was also related to us. Why wouldn't she hate us all for that? Why wouldn't she blame us all, even me when I wasn't anywhere close to be created?"
Sean looked remorseful as he regarded me, "You're right. Maybe she does hate all of us for what happened, even your mother for trying to save her. But the past is the past, and I want you to know that I'm also determined to make things right. I'm going to stop her from going after you now, and I'm going to do whatever I can to free her soul."
I believe that this was the start of me truly admiring my father, not because of who I'd always perceived him as, but because I understood that he wasn't perfect. He was right. We were what we were, and nothing in this world could change the Fox traits in us, even if they did bring an unintended tragedy. But I also made my own silent vow that evening.
Not only would I be free of this nightmare, but I too would set Missy free from her pain.
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票