章節 34: School [2]
'Shit' Junya cursed at himself for being inconsiderate toward Alice. The more he thought, it was just him being paranoid. She hadn't done anything that would warrant a reaction like what he just showed.
He thought to himself and realized he just feared Alice doing a complete 180 as Imani did, he couldn't see himself trusting another person.
Even after knowing the cause It was all in his head. His paranoia made it plausible for Alice to try and kill him as soon as he exited the shower and probably secretly a member of a human trafficking ring.
'What the hell am I thinking, That's not possible right?' He shook his head at the thought. The paranoia that plagued his mind was a direct link to the shock she received from Imani's betrayal, he had a hard time seeing people that cared about him as genuine.
Since he himself also thought Alice cared for him, it was inevitable he thought about it.
He put his clothes on before exiting the shower room. He put part of his limbs outside to quell his doubt for paranoia by using them as bait.
He went over to Alice who was carefully polishing her weapon with a rather mean expression. Junya was slightly scared but decided what he had to talk about was more important.
"Alice, can we talk, I need help with something"
"If you stopped being an assh*le then go ahead" Alice retorted.
Junya swallowed her words like a large pill and explained what he had been thinking about and his relationship with Imani. His facial expression changed when he recalled everything that happened giving Alice full context.
She realized that the conversation was very serious and stopped what she was doing to listen closer.
Junya struggled to spill what he had on his mind, only to give her little context.
"So she did all that to you, and how does that make you feel" Alice lifted his head up to look into her eyes.
Junya's eyes were slightly watery from the explanation he had to give. "Me… I don't know"
"Do you still love her?"
Junya looked at her surprised by the question, but his widened eyes looked down in anger. "I know I should hate her, but that's what annoys me the most. I don't think I hate her enough"
Alice never said anything more but hug Junya which made him cry, he returned her embrace searching for her warmth to console his conflicted feelings.
"You don't need to question your feeling, over time you will remember to forgive her and move on. Letting her actions haunt you isn't doing you any justice. I know it must hurt having your trust betrayed, but you can't hold a grudge against her for making her decision.
Focus on the future and walk with your chest held high. Life is a Maze most times and you won't know what you will encounter at the next corner, but you can't let it stop you from finding the way out.
Don't let this stop you from moving forward. Accept the feeling you have, it may seem hard at times but that's no reason to stop. This is only a minor step back in a long journey.
It may affect how you perceive the world but don't let it stop you from changing it. If you really can't get over your paranoia then just make sure you are stronger than all your friends and protect them with strength. The world is not pretty most time, neither is fighting, killing, breaking people necks, In fact, it's disgusting, but that doesn't mean there isn't beauty in the world. It's just hidden among the rough, when you find that beauty protect it with all your heart, even if it means dying or going crazy, as long as it makes you happy."
Alice's voice sounded soothing to Junya, she continued to console him while running her fingers through his hair. After a few minutes, Junya was still tired and dozed off.
"There's too much anger in your body, I just hope that it doesn't charge you for the worse. I just hope I can make you let go of that anger and never let it change"
She continued to hold him until he started sleeping and breathing soundly. The room became calm with only the both of them sitting on their knees.
Alice eventually put him on a mat to sleep. She felt relieved that he managed to share something like that with him.
'I never thought someone this good at killing could be so soft-hearted, the world really isn't fair, they turned the beauty inside him into anger but I will protect you as best as I can'
She wiped the tears off his face and continued to shine all her weapons. A few minutes later she got a call.
"Mam, We are on our way with the shipment of new Mobs that were ordered. I'm calling to confirm the deal is still on the table"
"Forget the other shipment, Refund the whole thing" Alice said. 'I think I've put him through enough'
"But Mam! This took weeks to put together and you assured us that you were going through with the deal!"
"Then why the hell calls me, I said I don't want it. Deals of. Shove it up your ass for all I care" She berated before hanging up.
'Hmph, idiots' She mentally snorted disapprovingly before continuing her cleaning.
創作者的想法 
LeftPinky
LeftPinky I want to make my MC really dependent on trust. That's why I portray that it still affects him and gives him doubts about trusting new people. It's all plot people, I won't make him like this every time he hears her name.
Keep in mind, that Imani was all he had for a large portion of his life, which he recalled as happy memories and with that gone, his perception of trusting went as well.
Just wanted to say this so you don't think it will go on in later chapters. It will NOT. After this, he is pretty much whatever for the most part.
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