章節 33: I'm You
<Elsie?
My lips fell silent for a moment. Cleopatra who as far as I know is innocent and doesn't dare to oppose me just lightly lifts her chin arrogantly, reversing all my words. I'm kind of naked here.
"You won't be able to enter my world," I replied coldly. The situation that should have built up to be warm and intense, was the opposite of what I expected. This is like the cold war that happened between Cleopatra and Elisabeth. Two legendary great queen names. "My world is a world filled with hypocrisy, violence, and no justice. All I want is for you to stay away from that world. Not to put yourself on a waitlist. You idiot."
"Then why? Why if I can't try to enter your world, Elsie? We were conceived by the same womb, lived together, born together until now we are still together. If you try to interfere in my business, why don't I have the right to interfere in your business? " The corners of her lips trembled. "I. Want. Feel. What. You. Feel. Because I want you to share your pain with me..."
"Enough," I cut in.
But Cleopatra kept her word. "… so that you no longer have to feel neglected, excluded, excluded, and think the world is unfair has taken everything from you. Freedom, love, compassion, and..."
"Enough!" This time I shouted. I look at my reflection in the form of another person in front of me now, so bleary and sad. My teary eyes are ready to break the grains smoothly on my cheeks. "You do not understand." And at the same time, my tears flowed along my shoulders heaving with emotion.
"Because you don't want to open yourself up to me."
"You're not Mom, Cleo. You're different from Mom. And forever won't be able to understand me like Mom." I went to leave Cleopatra's room before things happened that I didn't want. Trust me, this isn't what I was expecting. What's wrong with me trying to keep her away from something wrong? During this time she was the proud daughter of the Cavern family with her intelligence, modesty, and innocence. She can't be me. She can't be broken like me. Damn hypocrites!
I closed the door hard. I thought Cleopatra had left me alone in the room and wouldn't bother me at this point. Instead, she banged on my door hard. My legs go limp. I slumped on the floor leaning against my bedroom door and felt tears run down my cheeks. Enough. Today people tortured my heart very cruelly.
"Is this what you do every day, Elsie?!" she shouted. "Crying alone, huh? I know that behind your wild behavior, you're crying inside! Yeah, right?"
"Shut the fuck up!" I replied louder. I don't care if Dad will come in a wheelchair.
"You're too selfish to care about your feelings." She still wouldn't keep his mouth shut. "You need help."
"I don't need help, Bastard! Get lost!"
"Okay." Her voice lowered a few octaves. "You need to know, I'm doing this because I love you. You are not alone. You have me. Please, don't do this. I... I'm sad too, honestly."
I was silent, I felt my shoulders rise and fall with a soft sob and a high emotional feeling every time I pondered the sentences earlier.
"I miss a mother's love as much as you do, Elsie. I know you want Mom back. I know you love her very much. But…" There was a short pause before she continued. "You don't know one thing that happened all this time. Mom won't come back to us. She has her world, her own life, something you can't accept." Even her breathing could be heard behind me. I think Cleo is sitting behind this door. Like she often does whenever I'm angry. She wouldn't move from her spot, instead of waiting for me to open the door.
But all I did was stay behind this door. Decided not to come out until she left.
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