章節 23: Undoubtedly, Some Montages are Required. (5.3)

Though I was a good hand at magic and combat, mostly out of necessity, I was far from someone who could repair an entire fort. However, scouring the depths of ruins is a second instinct for anyone who has played a video game. Unfortunately, there was no treasure in the heart of the fortress, but a single tower survived whatever destroyed the rest of the fort.

It was easy to figure out that it was the place where the commander stayed. There was a porch that overlooked the rest of the courtyard and the walls. Most of the furniture and everything else were either destroyed or ripped apart.

Understandably, upon finding a fully-intact Fortress Commander Tower, I made it my secret base. There's no point in lying about that. It might not be a smart move, but I liked castles and there was just one that no one had a claim to? No rules against taking it? There's absolutely no way I could live with myself if I didn't make it mine.

Still, I used to just have a few weapons, clothes, and food. A place where I could hide if Orario blew up like the powder keg it was. Or if I pissed off some meathead that was stronger than I am. Both had an equally likely chance of happening. Too many Familias were competing with one another, and pissing people off is easy and as fun as hell.

Still, after I started taking in Students, the place started to have 'style,' gain 'furniture,' and become 'organized.' Arde stayed in it the most, given the fact the rest of the Soma Familia are a bunch of drug-addicts, so she bought a few cots. The rest chipped in for bookshelves, Mage Lights, and a table set.

Everyone being around was rare, but they basically had free reign over the place. The jerks didn't ask permission. Still, I didn't turn aside things people gave me for free. That's against my ethical code. Wait, doesn't that mean I lack ethics? Eh, equal exchange is stupid anyway. I like free things.

"So, what's so special about the kid, Sensei?" Arde laid back on one of the room's cots, juggling a dozen knives. Each one gently caressed the ceiling before falling back to the ground. The Level 2 Pallum's Dexterity allowed her to do it with ease. I wasn't even able to talk since I did the same. Still, with the bonus of Mentor I was sure I'd have to look into buying more after I Updated myself later. The growth bonus of Mentor from six students is nothing short of ludicrous. I was keeping up with Cranel's bullshit protagonist power even though he was beating the Loki Familia Members with ease. I'm sure that we'd both catch up with Arde later. "Why go so far for someone you just met a month ago?"

"Didn't I face down two Level 2s and three Level 1s after knowing you for five minutes, Arde?" I tried to deflect the question, but at Arde's snort I knew she wasn't going to let the matter go. I shut my book and thought about what I knew about Liliruca Arde. Yep. She's going to get herself hurt by doing something stupid no matter what I do. Might as well make it not my fault. "Brat's Skill is a game changer. History-making. He's going to be unstoppable when the time comes."

"And, you're sworn not to divulge the real nature of his skill, aren't you, Sensei?" I grunted an affirmative and Arde just gave a sigh of frustration. The Pallum stopped her exercise and stood up from her cot, working the kinks out of her back. There was definitely some frustration in her voice, but she knew that I took keeping my word seriously. It's probably one of the only reasons we got along. "So, is his God looking to take in new adventurers? I already own myself in the Soma Familia, so I'm free to go to a Familia that isn't filled with money-hungry addicts. I could do without all the begging and threats."

"Those are just idiots and morons, Arde." I turned back to my book as Arde took the seat by her side. The auburn-haired Pallum produced the notebook and pen I bought her a while back before going over it. Never thought that critical thinking and analysis problems would help out in this world, but when most of the population can only read and write, a little bit of critical thinking goes a long way. I train all my students in the mystical art of deductive reasoning and analysis. If there are dead bodies everywhere, screams echoing from down the hallway, and the scent of blood is in the air… that means you should leave the area. Amazing. "Besides, I thought you were staying in Soma since you wanted to exact your vengeance by throwing the largest Soma's Nectar down the sewers every month?"

"It got boring after the third time. They just started picking fights with the one who got Second Place instead of me." Arde shrugged. Then, the auburn-haired Pallum pointed at a part in her notebook. Huh, so Bugbears grew teeth and spat poison when they weren't killed fast enough? That's certainly terrible for one of the fastest, flying enemies in the Deep Floors. Between her and my other four students, I was getting a clear picture of the Deep Floors. Heh, go forth, my minions. Risk your lives so I have no need to! "Soma seemed happy whenever I did it too, that creepy old bastard keeps offering to Update me whenever I come by now."

"Well it was a half-assed plan, so you only got a half-assed result." I pointed out, turning back to my book. Carefully turning a page, I made sure to make it clear that I was right and she was wrong. As what every teacher must do. Before all that, however, I wrote down 'kill quickly' and 'potential use against opposing adventurers' below her newest bestiary entry. I actually had to meet the minimum requirements of my Teacher Class before initiating my most powerful attacks! "The best thing you could've done was give it to them all equally the first few times… then start favoring one group over the other. That would've started a civil war that would've culled most of the idiots… or made you the Leader of the entire Familia."

"That sounds like too much effort." Arde pointed out. "Too much effort for a bunch of idiotic addicts, anyway."

"...Good point." I agreed after a moment of thought. Yep. No number of loyal Soma Familia members is worth that much trouble. Not only that, but it would be better if I started forming Bell's Adventurer Party sooner rather than later. Cranel, myself, and my students would probably blow out any 'bad guy' that Zaimokuza had planned before I got into the picture. Altogether, we're far too strong for all the bosses on the first three discs. "I'll talk to Hestia about taking you in. She owes me a lot for 'revealing' my Skill for the sake of her Familia."

"Thanks, Sensei."

There wasn't much to talk about after that, we simply fell into our regular routine. Arde going over her most recent findings, and me studying magic theory.

Arde, of course, tried to stay awake as long as I did, and I had to carry her to her cot after her head started lolling to and fro. Each one of my students all tried to do the same, and I always had to see them asleep before going back to work through the night.

I mean, they all knew they can't keep up, why they'd all want to stay awake was beyond me.

…

"Hat-kun, Hat-kun, Hat-kun!" I felt a weight settle on my shoulders and a pair of legs fall against my chest. The sudden force nearly had me fall straight into the pot of food I was stirring for breakfast. However, my Imouto Handler Skill auto-activated, and I quickly caught my balance with the heels of my feet. I was soon presented with a piece of stir-fried vegetable. "Taste my ultimate dish!"

"How is it different from your ultimate dish from yesterday?" Eh, Arde, where did this hostility come from? Please, show some courtesy to the Level 5 that can crush my neck! I don't want to die. Maybe, just focus on cooking your part of the breakfast, please? "You even used the same vegetables."

"I made it with more seasonings and spices, of course!" Hiryute proved to be exceptionally skilled in evading Arde's biting comments. Wait, was the Amazon just capable of ignoring any bad comment aimed at her?! What a useful skill to have! That skill alone negates every attack I could possibly mount against her in my current level! My passenger waved the piece of potato before me.. "Try it, Hat-kun~"

"…Only if you get off my shoulders." I went for the compromise that didn't end with my head popping like a watermelon because of an errant insult. Death by thighs might be somebody's fetish, but it isn't mine. Truly, the fact that I have to acknowledge that fact sickens me, but at least it wasn't a warship. Hiryute gave a cry of success and simply flipped off my back. I took the proffered piece of food. Huh. "It's good. Better than yesterday."

"Yay!" Hiryute gave a little pump of her arms, nearly making me forget she was capable of crushing boulders in a single hand. The Amazon ran off towards her cooking station. She gave a backwards wave as she sprinted away. The apron she wore flew to the winds, rendering her to her normal Amazon clothes. I turned my gaze back to the pot. "C'mon, everyone, time to eat! Hat-kun's approved of my special meal!"

"You'd think a Level 5 would control herself better." Arde huffed, shaking her head, before turning to me. "Sensei, couldn't you have gotten a more normal guard?"

"Nope! My lovely Tiona-chan was the only one available for the entire week!" I was interrupted before I could answer. A ladle blurred into the pot and scooped choice pieces and vegetables before I was able to stop it. Loki giggled as she rapidly stepped away. Damn you, it isn't ready yet! Don't you dare complain if it doesn't taste good! I'm proud of the food I make, dammit! "Ooh! Adventurer food! I bet my Familia eats this all the time on their expeditions! I'm sure that by eating this I'll understand my cute Familia better!"

"Loki." I addressed the goddess after putting out the fire. A few minutes of simmering and stirring were left before I could serve it. I had to learn to cook before I managed to get a room in the Hostess of Fertility. I lived on stew and bread for about six months. I mastered the art of cooking stew. "I thought you and Loga went back to Twilight House."

"Eh, you want to get rid of me, Hikigaya-kun? I'm hurt!" Loki gave a fake sob as she dug into the meat. No insult came, and she had to stop eating for a moment, so I assumed the goddess liked it. Not even going to give me an inch of a compliment, eh? You sure don't like it when you don't get your way, Loki-sama. Be careful, someone might mistake you for a spoiled brat if you keep acting like that… oh, wait, you already are. "After I saw the 100 point increase for all my precious Familia, of course, I had to stick around and see their final day of training!"

"You mean try it yourself and figure out if Sensei's still lying about his skill." Arde came to my defense quickly, leveling a glare at the goddess without hesitation. Well, my student, if you want to take care of this annoyance for me I won't be complaining. "Hmph, you do realize that Sensei's just doing the bare minimum for your Familia, right? They're not actually his students. You won't be getting the absolute, best training methods we have." My Pallum student sneered. "I thought Gods were supposed to be smart."

"Hah? What'd you say to my Kami-sama, little brat?" Bete Loga made his presence known with a growl. Oh boy, Arde and him are going to get along famously. Their gazes locked and I felt a chill go down my spine. My Pallum student met his glare and he cracked his knuckles dangerously. What was this, some 70s Seinen manga? Where are your metal bats, medical masks, and pompadours? "Would you mind repeating it? I think I misheard you."

"I said-."

"Arde, stop." I cut her off, and her jaw snapped tight. My eyes met hers and she took a deep breath before turning back to her pot. Bete Loga, however, seemed rankled at being so suddenly dismissed. I turned to the damnable woman, who had a smirk on her face. Smile all you want, bitch. I saw your face when Arde snapped at you. You hadn't expected that at all, did you? "Loki, keep your mutt leashed. We can have a civilized conversation once you have."

"You smug little bastard-."

"Bete-kun, go see if Tiona-chan needs help. I don't think I'll be needing your help for now." Loki surprisingly complied. She leaned on a wooden box, as the silver-haired Wolf Tribe member stalked away biting his tongue. "So, Hikigaya-kun, you're not training my students in the ultra-special classes you gave to your mini-me over there? My, my, I'm a bit hurt, Hikigaya-kun."

"The deal was I raise their Basic Skills, not teach them how to fight." I answered smoothly, taking a step back and looking over the Goddess. Unlike the last time we met, there was a rather shocking difference to her that I hadn't noticed last night. The Trickster Goddess' abdomen was covered in white bandages. Something must've taken a chunk out of her. "Huh, what did you piss off?"

"I was going to ask you that." Loki chuckled darkly, she scowled as she leaned against the decrepit fortress's walls. It must've taken one hell of a monster to injure a god to that extent. Even when healed, deeper wounds ached incessantly, requiring tight bindings. Loki was a lot more fearsome that I realized, if she was still standing after a wound like that with a normal, human body. She produced a piece of paper and threw it my way. I caught it. "You recognize that thing?"

I prided myself in knowing about just about every monster that was discovered in the dungeon, but the one on the paper she gave me… plant-type… body stronger than steel… capable of impaling Level 3s… capable of rapid growth and regeneration… weak only against magic… it was one of the most dangerous monsters I'd ever laid eyes upon. It was something that I would study the hell out of, if only to stay clear from it.

"No, I don't."

Yet, I didn't. That alone set alarm bells in my head.

"I heard you kept a little bestiary in that head of yours, and your students report to you, I hoped you knew." Loki gave a scowl. Something that looked out of place given her usual smile. I had the distinct feeling that the goddess was very, very pissed off. "Someone attacked Orario last week. Dozens of those monsters just sprouted from the ground all over the city."

I met Arde's gaze, sharing the paper with her, but she offered no information to it. All we could do was look at the grimacing, trickster god.

"No one has a clue who did it, how they did it, or why." The scowl deepened, Loki leaned back. "So, I'm going to need to ask for your help, Hikigaya." She crossed her arms, leveling her gaze. "I want in on your eyes and ears in the city. Name your price."

Of course, my price was for me, my students, and Cranel to not get involved in it.

I knew a sidequest when I saw it.