章節 403: Be a Person Who Can Eat Pork Cutlet at Any Time!
Maybe a Fake Gintama Chapter 403 Be a Person Who Can Eat Fried Pork Cutlet at Any Time!
One day, Yorozuya.
"Gin-san! Kagura-chan! Listen to me!" Shinpachi said angrily as he pushed open Yorozuya's door, "When I was walking on the road just now, some female high school students looked at my face and laughed! Is my face funny? Is it weird? Is there something stuck on it? Don't you think it's rude to laugh at others?!"
As he spoke, Shinpachi had already pushed open the door between the entrance and the living room and came to Yorozuya's living room. However, at this time, Shinpachi discovered that Gintoki and Kagura were actually not there. In the entire living room, there was only Kawaki, who was sitting on the sofa with his legs crossed, and an uncle who was tied up on the floor with a rope and a towel stuffed in his mouth. He dressed strangely like a cat-shaped robot from other cosplay works.
"Ka-Kawaki-san?" Shinpachi asked in surprise, "Why... why are you here? Where are Gin-san and Kagura-chan? And who is the one on the ground?"
"I don't know," Kawaki shook his head and said casually, "I only came five minutes earlier than you. As for the uncle who was playing on the ground, he was a thief."
"Thief?!"
"Ah, yes," Kawaki nodded and continued to explain, "When I first came here, I heard a strange noise in the drawer, and then I discovered him. Maybe he hid in the drawer because he heard my footsteps."
"I didn't expect that one day, there would be a thief visiting Yorozuya. You have to know that this room is completely empty." Shinpachi asked, "But having said that, did Kawaki-san call the police?"
"Not yet. I'm still interrogating him on what he stole." Kawaki shook his head, then glanced at the uncle who was struggling on the ground because of Shinpachi's arrival, "But as you can see, he won't say anything, and he doesn't even admit that he is a thief. Yes, I have never seen such a thick-skinned thief."
"Who... who is a thief" The uncle with a bloody nose and a swollen face finally spat out the towel in his mouth. His veins bulged as he scolded, "Can't you just look at the atmosphere?! Will a thief come out of a drawer?!"
"Bastard, you still dare to be so arrogant when stealing things!" Kawaki was furious. He instantly got up and came in front of the uncle. He raised his foot and began to kick. While kicking, he scolded, "Stop pretending to be stupid. You're a perverted thief! He's definitely here to steal Kagura-chan's panties, right?! Believe it or not, I'll send you to hell! Bastard!"
"Don't... don't hit me anymore... Please... I beg you!" The uncle quickly begged for mercy.
"Are you going to admit it? You perverted panty thief." Kawaki stopped what he was doing, raised his hands, and said with a look of disdain.
"I'm not that kind of thing! Why do you think I'm a panty thief? I've said many times that I'm a robot from the future!" The uncle argued loudly with spittle flying.
"Shinpachi, call the police. Don't look at this kind of guy who is reluctant to admit his mistakes now. He will definitely say everything when he arrives at the detention center." Kawaki looked at Shinpachi and said with a serious face.
"Little brother! You should understand, right? An uncle...robot like me came out of the drawer." The uncle quickly looked at Shinpachi for help, "That's right! I came from the future to help little brother! Trust me!"
"You clearly wanted to talk about uncle just now, right? You definitely wanted to talk about uncle, right?" Shinpachi retorted expressionlessly.
"It's a robot!"
Shinpachi, "..."
...
In short, although he was still suspicious in his heart, in the face of this uncle's bitter begging, Shinpachi's heart softened and he loosened his tie for him.
"Really. Next time, listen to me properly." The uncle rubbed his swollen cheek and complained unhappily.
"Don't be so proud, you bastard," Kawaki crossed his legs and curled his lips in disdain, "Next time, I will definitely send you to hell, you perverted panty thief!"
"I told you I'm not a panty thief!"
"Do you admit it?! Do you admit that you are not a panty thief but an ordinary thief?! You perverted thief!" Kawaki shouted.
"Well, calm down a little, Kawaki-san." Shinpachi, who was at the side, hurriedly advised, "In short, whether it is a thief or anything else, I just checked and Yorozuya did not lose anything. I will spare him this time."
"Shinpachi, you can't be too kind to such a disgusting and perverted thief." Kawaki sighed softly and said bitterly, "Otherwise, this kind of guy will become even worse next time."
"Really?!"
"Yes, definitely." Kawaki cupped his hands and nodded, "Many people felt that a small mistake was not a big deal because they were easily forgiven when they made the first mistake. In the end, they became big villains. This kind of development is almost everywhere on TV, Shinpachi-kun."
"Indeed..." Shinpachi cupped his hands and nodded in deep agreement.
"You two are really rude!" The uncle shouted in dissatisfaction, then pointed at Shinpachi and continued, "I already told you that I'm a robot that came from the future to help this little brother!"
"There is actually delusional disorder. This kind of guy is completely hopeless, Shinpachi-kun." Kawaki whispered into Shinpachi's ear, "The best way to deal with him now is to send him to the police station or the mental hospital."
"Kawaki-san, are you sure about that..."
"Anyway, make a cup of tea first, little brother." The uncle glanced at Shinpachi and ordered impatiently.
"Huh?" Shinpachi was stunned.
"I said make a cup of tea. Don't you have anything to entertain the guests in this house?"
"I have never made tea for thieves..." Shinpachi retorted with a speechless face.
"Hey---!! How many times do I have to say it? I am not a thief!"
"Thieves usually say that," Kawaki nodded, folded his hands, closed his eyes, and analyzed seriously, "But when you get to the police station, you will be honest."
"You won't have a share of the props from now on!" The uncle crossed his arms, turned his face away, and snorted, "Even if you are an acquaintance of this glasses little brother, I will not take out useful props when you need help! This is punishment!"
"Moshi Moshi, is this the police station?" Kawaki expressionlessly took out his mobile phone and placed it beside his ear.
"Wait! Please wait!" COSaemon-san hurriedly stopped him and said, "Please! Don't call the police! I will still give you the props! Please!"
(Doraemon's uncle cosplayer, here abbreviated as COSaemon-san)
"Forget it, Kawaki-san, don't target him," Shinpachi let out a long sigh, then looked at COSaemon-san and continued, "In short, I will brew the tea. After you drink it, hurry up and leave. Then, don't be a thief anymore."
"Little brother! You don't want the props either?!" COSaemon-san roared angrily.
...
Shinpachi sat next to Kawaki. The two of them were equally speechless as they looked at COSaemon-san, who was holding a cup of tea on the sofa opposite them.
"Speaking of which, what did you say when we just entered the door?" Kawaki suddenly thought of something and turned to look at Shinpachi beside him, "Female high school students?"
"Ah, I was just made fun of by them," Shinpachi explained.
"So that's how it is." Kawaki nodded and then patted Shinpachi on the shoulder with a serious expression. He continued with a serious face, "Shinpachi, pay attention to your rest. Don't think too much before you go to bed. You can still be saved, don't worry."
"Hey, your words are really hurtful. Don't tell me I don't even have the right to be laughed at?" Shinpachi narrowed his eyes and complained unhappily.
"I will tell your sister and Gintoki. I will tell them to let you have a good rest." Kawaki continued, "We won't give up on you."
"Hey!" Shinpachi shouted loudly with veins popping out, "And maybe she just smiled kindly! Maybe she felt like "I made eye contact, ah ~ he's so handsome~"!"
"It's hopeless." Kawaki sighed and sighed.
"Indeed, there's no way to save him." COSaemon-san shook his head and sighed.
"You two did it on purpose, right? You definitely did it on purpose!" Shinpachi shouted loudly, and then pointed to the opposite of him, "Not only Kawaki-san, but even you, a thief, want to attack me?!"
"Are you an idiot?" COSaemon-san curled her lips in disdain, "How could that happen? You have to open your eyes wide and look at yourself in the mirror, little brother. In which world would there be a female high school student who would smile kindly when seeing you like this? A delusional! Disgusting! Annoying! Glasses!"
"Why do you even deny glasses..." Shinpachi narrowed his eyes with an expressionless face.
"Shinpachi, didn't your teacher teach you?" Kawaki nodded and casually agreed, "It's best to be a person who can eat fried pork cutlet at any time."
(From Oishinbo: Oishinbo Volume 11, the original meaning is to ask students to be moderate people, that is, neither to grandeur nor to impoverished, and become a person who can just "afford fried pork cutlet", that is, "All the people are striving for a well-off society." The meaning here is that Kawaki hopes that Shinpachi can recognize the reality and be down-to-earth.)
"I don't know what you are talking about, Kawaki-san..." Shinpachi pushed up his glasses and said with an expressionless face, "Although it does sound like a famous saying, I don't understand it at all."
"Indeed, at least it has to be to that extent," COSaemon-san crossed his hands and nodded, "Only at that level can we see reality better. But it's not quite accurate for me, instead of fried pork cutlet, I prefer something else."
"Indeed, the fried pork cutlets are a little unhealthy for someone like me who is almost thirty years old." Kawaki nodded in deep thought, "Shinpachi is more suitable."
"Why did the topic deviate too far? By the way, what have you two been talking about since just now? Is it about food preferences?" Shinpachi squinted his eyes with a look of disdain. Then he looked at COSaemon-san who was sitting opposite him with his legs crossed, "Speaking of which, who are you? And what's with that posture? Why do you act like this is your home?"
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