章節 90: Chapter 90

AUTUMN

I still can't believe that he's here.

And what's more - we're getting ice-cream from Gandolfo's. I love Gandolfo's, and now I get to share it with Alex? How did I ever think this would be possible? I didn't, because I never thought I would see him again.

Losing him once nearly killed me. I told my therapist that I'd entertained the idea of ending my life over it - over losing Alex. And not in the melodramatic way teenagers feel when they break up, but because I didn't want to spend my life knowing it could always be better, knowing there was an alternate life where I could be happier - and I wasn't living it. I went on anti-depressants until I decided I no longer needed them. Shit still sucked, but it'd been a couple years since then, and I figured I could just pretend none of it happened.

So, I did.

I pretended.