章節 8: Blackeye And Vegan Cupcakes- Part 1 [Rohan]
[So, baby, pull me closer
In the back seat of your Rover
That I know you can't afford
Bite that tattoo on your shoulder
Pull the sheets right off the corner
Of that mattress that you stole
From your roommate back in Boulder
We ain't ever getting older]
"Hello," Ru's voice was still super groggy from sleep, eyes refusing to open.
"Hey Pappu, still sleeping?! Get up, get up, get up! Did you see the pictures of the sherwani? I need two choices, first and second, in two hours, okay? Why are you still sleeping? It is 8 AM, a beautiful, smog-filled Saturday morning, breath in alllll the polluted air, little brother," The female voice on the other side of the phone said in a voice too chirpy, too excited for this time of the day.
"Go away, Pinky," Ru said lazily, sitting up on the bed against the headboard. "Just look at some Mehndi designs, why don't you."
"Shut up. So did you see the sherwanis?"
Ru sighed. "One second."
He picked the tablet from the end table, pulled up his emails, and there it was, a long portfolio of wedding sherwanis, tacky and boring at the same time. He began to scroll.
"Ugh….ewww no…..okay, no way...….nope...….yikes....oh okay, not too bad."
"Which one?" His sister, Pinky, was all curiosity. Her given name was Roomi, but all her family and friends called her Pinky because of how pink she was when she was born.
"The mauve one looks classy. And doesn't put me to sleep."
"Umm, okay, okay, it doesn't go with the rest of the sangeet theme, but okay." Of course, Pinky had her own ideas and telling her his choice would be of no consequence, in the end. Ru knew that.
"What is the theme again? 'We will kill you with boredom'?" Ru gave a half-smile at his own joke.
Pinky sighed loudly on the phone. "You know what? As the brother of the bride,…."
There was a knock on the door at that instant. "What is it?" Ru raised his voice, away from the phone. It seemed everybody wanted him this morning!
"I am heading to the gym. Are you coming?" It was Aarav's voice. Then, Ru remembered he had made plans to try out the apartment building gym that day, specifically the free Yoga classes they offered every Saturday morning at 8:30. Aarav offered to show him around as a new resident of the building.
"Give me five…I mean twenty," Ru answered Aarav and then turned to the phone in his hand, "Babe, I have to go. Good luck with your sherwanis and the death by boredom sangeet. Byeeeee."
"Hey listen!" But before Pinky could say one more word, Ru ended the call. He then jumped off the bed, like a cat jumping off the wall, and in two strides, reached to the door.
"Hey handsome," he said with a broad, sunny smile as soon as he opened the door of his room.
Aarav sighed and walked back to the living room. "I am heading over to the gym. It is on the lobby floor," he shouted from the living area.
Ru had to bite his tongue. He had no clue why he said that since he was perfectly fine with their decision to never fuck, ever again, and it is not like Ru wanted him or anything. He had many, many other choices, many. Anyhooo, in the next fifteen minutes, he brushed his teeth and freshened up and put on his blue gymshark long-sleeved T, black lululemon joggers, and his black Nike legends training shoes, and off he went.
The gym was not as large as Ru would have liked, but it wasn't too bad, and beggars could not be choosers. He was, in fact, quite happy with his decision to move in with Aarav to apartment 403 of Sharda Building Complex of Andheri, despite all that happened. The complex was pretty clean for a city like Mumbai; there was a vegan bakery store across the street to his delight, and free yoga classes! On the downside, he hated it when his roommate would bring over his dates, all ladies, and they would be loud, real loud, as in 'his fuck sessions would shatter the walls' loud.
Ru did leave Aarav a note explaining his shock and distress on a pink sticky note, and the next day, he found the note torn into pieces in the trash. So, he decided to give the man a taste of his own medicine and reactivated his tinder profile. He was going to bring over a date and they would have sex so loud, entire world was going to hear. If only it were easy to find good matches.
In the meantime, Ru explored his complex and the adjacent neighborhood. He found a few likable people. One of them was a girl named Shilpa. She looked like she was in her mid-twenties, clearly in show biz with her tall and chiseled body and a round, sweet face. Ru would totally do her if he decided to date women; it was just that he is in his men-only phase now. He heard of the free Yoga classes from Shilpa, and there he was now, in front of the gym with his purple yoga mat tucked under his arm.
When he went it, he quickly spotted the girl, tallest among the lot, in the fitness instruction room, with around twenty others. Soon as he walked in through the glass door, Shilpa walked over, friendly as she was.
"Hey, you made it!" She said, stretching her long, long legs.
"Almost!"
"We are still waiting for the instructor. We are a little worried, just so you know. She has never been so late. Come, let me introduce you to the others."
He followed her and soon, he was struggling to remember the names of fifteen new people that he just exchanged pleasantries with. They all looked like a nice hipster bunch but cool, all around the same age as Ru. He looked over, and through the glass doors, he saw Aarav at one of the weight machines on the other side of the gym. There were four or five more guys too, all lifting weights, pumping the dumbells, calling each other dude, and showing off their biceps, all androgen-filled ridiculousness; Ru knew the type. He was surprised to see how well Aarav fit in there, exchanging small talks and raucous laughter with them. At one point, their eyes did meet through the glass door, his and Aarav's, but the man quickly looked away.
"Uh oh," Ru heard Shilpa behind him and turned to her. "Looks like she is canceling."
Disappointed sighs and gasps filled the room.
"What a shame!" A guy said. "We were about to learn a few asanas to help with digestion."
"Riiight," Ru replied with a thought, "guys, I can offer to be your teacher for today, if you want."
Shilpa looked unsure, and Ru explained that he was a certified yoga instructor and had instructed his college classmates throughout his university days. He still practiced yoga regularly and did not see why they all needed to return to their apartments disappointed when he can offer a class right there and then.
And, the pupils agreed!
So, Ru walked up to the front of the class, unfurled his yoga mat, sat on it, as did the pupils.
"We will start with the pranayama," Ru declared and proceeded to demonstrate the correct technique for the breathing exercise. Next, they did the asanas, starting with the padmasana. As he was instructing, his eyes glanced over to the machine room, and unsurprisingly, the hormone guys were sniggering and throwing him some mocking looks. Ru ignored the idiots, and the class moved on to the surya namaskar asanas. That was when all hell broke loose.
Ru saw one of the guys near the weights make a limp wrist gesture. And he lost all cool. He jumped to his feet, burst out of the instruction room, and stomped over to where the guys were working out.
"What is your problem?" Ru blazed at the man, walking up to him in long strides. Ru knew he was trembling like a leaf from all the rage flowing through him but did not give a sh-t.
"What do you mean?" The man stepped closer to him, too, trying to be all alpha male. The guy was looking up at him with threatening eyes that irked Ru more. Were he not enraged, Ru would have laughed at how the man was significantly shorter than him, not even reaching up to his nose.
"I mean, what was this, huh?" Ru copied the gesture that the man had done earlier.
By then, a few others had also walked over to them, including Aarav.
The guy shrugged. "I mean that is how all you guys are, right?"
"Hey guys, leave it," Aarav said, pulling at the guy's arm, and a few others tried to defuse the situation.
But Ru was seeing red spots before him. "What do you mean how all you guys are?" His voice got very shrill.
The guy folded his hands. "All you guys, you know, the pansies, gays, and hijras."
And BOOM!
Ru's knuckles were tingling, but boy, did it feel good when they made contact with the guy's face.
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