章節 21: 1.21 I'm Not That Fragile
Ren Zexi said to forget everything. Nonetheless when some words had been said, it was really difficult to pretend that nothing happened. For example, their routine morning kiss. Previously, Lu Yizhou had never thought there's something special to it but the next morning when he found Ren Zexi leaned closer like he always did, his body subconsciously stiffened.
The teenager noticed it too and paused. A flash of sadness emerged in his eyes which he quickly covered with a wide smile. "Good morning, Uncle Lu. How's your body today?"
Ren Zexi took a seat on his right, humming.
Lu Yizhou observed him for a while and found no obvious change in the teenager's expression. Only then did he let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. "Just as usual." A bowl of porridge was put in front of him. He picked up the spoon and started to eat, pausing when he realized Ren Zexi was staring at him fixedly. "What's wrong?"
"Is that plain porridge or is there any medicine in it?"
"It's just plain porridge, Young Master." Butler An took the initiative to answer. "Because Master Lu often feels uncomfortable with heavy food, plain porridge becomes the perfect menu for every breakfast."
Lu Yizhou nodded in agreement.
"Then I want a bowl of plain porridge too, please!" Ren Zexi stared at the assortment of exquisite dishes in front of him and felt his heart ache. What was Lu Yizhou feeling everytime he saw these delicious foods yet unable to eat them? How could he trust the man's words when he said he had gotten used to it? Was it even possible to get used to this kind of thing?
"Young Master Ren, are you sure?" Butler An asked in surprise in which Ren Zexi answered with a firm nod. The butler stole a glance toward Lu Yizhou and smiled helplessly. "Alright, please wait for a while."
Lu Yizhou put down the spoon. "You don't have to do this."
"I want to." Ren Zexi smiled yet one could see a hint of sadness in it. "Uncle Lu, you don't have to hide anything from me again. I really want to take care of you. So let me...please?"
Lu Yizhou stared at him with an indescribable gaze and sighed. Without a word, he proceeded to eat his usual menu for breakfast.
A more genuine smile made its way to Ren Zexi's face. He knew that Lu Yizhou had acquiesced to his request. Lu Yizhou had always been like this. No matter how cold his exterior was, Ren Zexi knew he was a big softie inside and that's why he adored him so much.
And true to his words, Lu Yizhou never bothered to hide anything from Ren Zexi anymore. He took his medicine in front of the teenager. The side effects of his treatment, the discomfort and mild relapse he regularly suffered from, Ren Zexi gradually learned of all of them.
So, this was the torment Lu Yizhou had been enduring all these years, Ren Zexi brooded. He had never known. Eleven years he stayed with that man, yet he had only ever thought of himself. For the first time in his life, Ren Zexi realized how immature and selfish he had been.
Since the day Lu Yizhou collapsed, it was as if Ren Zexi had matured overnight.
When summer arrived, Ren Zexi had taken over almost 50% of Lu Yizhou's job whereas the man himself was demanded to go home at a fixed time so as to give him a lot of time to rest. Under his leadership, two major projects Lu Group was handling ended up flourishing, giving Lu Yizhou all the more reason to convince the board directors of his decision to appoint Ren Zexi as his successor.
Recently, a huge amount of his workload suddenly eased and he had a lot of free time in his hands — one which Lu Yizhou preferred not to have. He sat in his study room and stared out of the setting sun and the burst of majestic golden lights, rubbing his fingers together once in a while. [It's getting harder to breathe.]
[666: Of course, Host. You're dying afterall.]
Lu Yizhou glanced down at his chest, immersing himself in the rhythmic thumping of his heart and the heaviness he had gotten used to for the last few years. The ray of sunset fell onto him, making his light colored eyelashes look golden and his face paler. [If I die...what will happen to him?]
[666: You mean Ren Zexi? Of course, nothing will happen to him! As soon as you leave, the world will restart on its own and be on standby until a new Host enters!]
[Is that so?] Lu Yizhou frowned. He had always known that everything was just a simulator so why...when he imagined Ren Zexi behaved in the same way he did to someone else, to look into another's eyes with the same gaze he used to look at him, he felt an unprecedented sense of loss deep within his soul?
[666: Host, have you been affected by this world? By...Ren Zexi?] 666 asked gingerly.
Lu Yizhou was taken aback by the system's sudden question. [Affected? Me?]
[666: Don't worry, Host. It's not the first time someone felt this way. The previous Hosts too, they all had difficulties moving on from the first world. But that's just because you haven't gotten used to it— aiyah, 666 can't explain it clearly. When you have transmigrated into more than three worlds, you will understand what 666 means. Remember our system's true purpose?]
To stimulate someone's will to live.
A mocking laugh escaped Lu Yizhou's lips. All of these scenarios, it was just to make him want to live longer, to compel the useless emotions he had killed when he decided to end his life with his own hands. He lifted his hands and clenched them. Why did he want to continue living? No reason. There was no longer anything which could—
"Uncle Lu!" A sudden shout snapped Lu Yizhou out of his thoughts and he turned his head in time for a dark shadow to pounce on him, hugging him tightly. "Uncle Lu…" Ren Zexi's familiar scent rushed to his nose and he hugged the teenager back by reflex, surprised.
"What's wrong?" He asked with a frown, moreover when he found Ren Zexi's body slightly trembling.
Ren Zexi's heart almost jumped out of his throat. He didn't know why, when he stood at the door and found Lu Yizhou bathed in the afterglow of the sunset, all beautiful, tranquil yet solemn, he felt as if the man was so fragile, that if he looked away even for a bit, Lu Yizhou would suddenly disappear without a trace. He was suddenly reminded of the euthanasia form that Butler An coincidentally found in one of Lu Yizhou's folder as well as his words, "You have no idea how scared we are to live every single day without knowing when Master Lu will suddenly disappear on us."
He had never understood how Butler An felt more than now, understood them so vividly that it hurt...
Fear shook his body and he couldn't help but hug Lu Yizhou tighter to make sure that the man was still there, safely secured within his embrace. "It's nothing…"
"Don't lie." Lu Yizhou replied somberly. How could he say it was nothing when he was trembling like this? "Did something happen in the company? Did those directors and shareholders bully you?"
"No. How could they?" He laughed shortly and abruptly realizing something, let Lu Yizhou go hastily and scanned the man up and down in worry. "Ah, I'm sorry! I didn't do it on purpose! How is your body? Did I surprise you? Do you feel uncomfortable anywhere?"
"Zexi. Ren Zexi — calm down!" Lu Yizhou was dizzy to be bombarded by a barrage of questions. He cupped Ren Zexi's cheeks and forced the teenager to look straight into his eyes. "I'm okay. I'm not that fragile, okay? You didn't hurt me."
Ren Zexi sought his eyes as if eagerly drinking in the sight of him. Only then did he let out a huge sigh of relief, beads of sweats formed on his forehead. "That's good…"
Lu Yizhou sighed and wiped his sweaty face. "Look at you. You're my, Lu Yizhou's personal assistant and the Lu Group's advisor. How can you lose your composure so easily?"
He really had no idea at all… Ren Zexi laughed bitterly inside. In front of other people, Ren Zexi could become a good leader with charismatic presence, a witty and intelligent advisor, a cool headed and wise decision maker, anything.
But only in front of Lu Yizhou… he was unable to keep his calm at all.
All the tension evaporated from his shoulders and he slumped down on Lu Yizhou's lap, resting his head on the man's knees for comfort. "Of course, I'm still lacking compared to our Lu Group's Big Boss." He said teasingly. So that's why Lu Yizhou ought to mentor him for many, many days in the future, right?
Lu Yizhou let out a scoff and ruffled his head. "So, what did you come here to find me for? Did you meet any difficulties with the project?"
"No, everything is going smoothly. After we won the bid for the government land in City D, almost all of them have been convinced by my capabilities." Ren Zexi paused for a while. Lu Yizhou almost thought that the teenager had fallen asleep when he suddenly lifted his head, eyes filled with determination. "Uncle Lu, there's a favor I want to ask of you."
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