章節 9: "Masochistic Crusader?"
This story is Fanfiction, and I don't own 𝗞𝗼𝗻𝗼𝘀𝘂𝗯𝗮!, if I did, Aqua would be even more useless. 𝗞𝗼𝗻𝗼𝘀𝘂𝗯𝗮! Is owned by 𝗦𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗶𝗼 𝗗𝗲𝗲𝗻 and 𝗡𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗲 𝗔𝗸𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗶.
-<[𝘼𝙝, 𝘾𝙧𝙖𝙥!]>-
"Team meeting!" Kazuma bellowed into the Voice chat, something that appeared when we registered as a party.
Well, he specifically contacted me, yelling into my damn ears at twelve-thirty at midnight. "Wha' the 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 Kazuma?" I muttered angrily, "It's twelve at fuckin' midnight. 𝙄'𝙢 𝙩𝙧𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥!"
I heard Kazuma grumble under his breath before speaking again, "We have a problem." He said with such seriousness that it snapped me from the grip of sleep, "What kind?" I asked.
"A masochistic crusader." He responded.
I muted my receiver before muttering to myself, rubbing my temples, "A masochistic crusader?"
"..."
"...Jenny? Are you there?" He asked.
"*gulp*...Hello?" He asked once more, this time a tinge of fear in his voice.
"𝗞𝗮𝘇𝘂𝗺𝗮. ("Eep!") You are going to deal with this, 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚. And if you wake me up past midnight, for stupid shit 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨, we're going to have a problem." I stated.
"But-"
"𝘼𝙧𝙚. 𝙒𝙚. 𝘾𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧?"
"Ye-Yes Sir- I mean Ma'am!" He agreed. (Probably from fear, not quite sure.) "Good. Now fuck off."
I closed the line and rubbed my eyes. Why did I think it was a good idea to leave the damn comms open?
Oh yeah, 'cause I couldn't be bothered.
Damn it past-me.
-<[𝘼𝙝, 𝘾𝙧𝙖𝙥!]>-
I swear this day is just getting more and more ridiculous.
"Let go of me, you crazy masochist!" Kazuma continued to shriek, screaming every profanity he knows- holy shit I've never thought to put those together.
Meanwhile, the Crusader, Darkness, continues to latch onto Kazuma. "Yes! That's it! Degrade me!" She yells.
Alright, that's enough of that.
I walk between them, and pry Darkness off of Kazuma, holding her by the scruff of her armor, "Alright you two, chill for a second, we don't need to make a 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦." I said, looking Darkness in the eyes at the last part.
She uh… she made a weird noise (More like a squeak) and fainted, and now there's a weird smell- 𝘰𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘰𝘥.
"Am- Am I really that frightening?!" Kazuma nodded his head so fast I thought he would break his neck.
"Wow… You didn't have to agree with me!" I yelled in indignation, "Lets just- *𝙝𝙪𝙛𝙛* Let's just go to the others. And bring Darkness, because I have a feeling you told her to take the toad quest as a deterrent."
He gave me a look, "How the hell did you know that!?"
"You have it in your hand. Dumbass." He looked at his hand, the quest paper sitting there.
"Oh."
…
The walk to the fields was… I wouldn't say awkward, but it was cutting it pretty damn close. Kazuma looked like he was ready to choke someone out, and Aqua looked smug as hell. She probably did something dumb as all hell.
Megumin wanted to come along, so she was sticking close to me, occasionally glaring at Darkness, and The crusader in question kept sneaking glances at me. Wonder what that's about?... NOT!
"We're here!" I announce, "Darkness, show me what you got!" I yelled excitedly, pointing towards the slowly waking toad.
"Y-Yes, Mistre-MPHH!" Darkness attempted to say something not safe for work, before Kazuma's hand shot out like a snake and covered her mouth.
"Shut." He demanded, his features darkened. "The up." Darkness nodded slowly, her face flush.
He slowly removed his hand and wiped it on Aqua's shirt ("Hey!"). They've been bickering for a while now so I've tuned them out.
"Go ahead. kick its ass, Darkness." I said, not as excited as before. She nodded, with a resolute expression, "Yes!"
She rushed forward in a burst of speed. Then, she swung.
Hitting the rock twelve feet from the 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯 𝘵𝘰𝘢𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘵! 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯 𝘪𝘵!
"Yes~!" She yelled. I could feel my brain cells committing suicide the longer I looked. I sighed, "Damn, another useless one…" I muttered before I [𝙁𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙝]ed towards the toad, and started [𝙎𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙣' 𝙉' 𝘿𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙣'].
The toad croaked, attempting to grab me with its tongue, but forgot it had a 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 worked up and squirming darkness already in its grasp. It hit Darkness instead.
She moaned.
"Oh my GOD! 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗜𝗦 𝗔 𝗙𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧! 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗣 𝗠𝗢𝗔𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚!" I yelled in frustration.
In an act of final defiance, the Toad spits Darkness out of its mouth, and straight at me. I would like to keep my clothes nice and clean, thank you very much. I used [𝘿𝙖𝙨𝙝] to maneuver around the impromptu projectile crusader and slit its stomach open.
Aqua fell out of it.
So 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 where she's been. Didn't even notice her absence.
"HELP US!!" Kazuma and Megumin shrieked. Kazuma was carrying a slimed Megumin, running from a yellow toad. If you had to guess, it would be something akin to paralysis, because Megumin hadn't cast an explosion yet.
So I did what every semi-competent spacefarer would do.
I shot it with my Handcannon chambered in 50 Cal.
…
"I didn't know you had a gun! Why didn't you tell me?!" Kazuma complained.
I raised an eyebrow, "Have you had any training?" I held my hand up so he didn't interrupt, "And no, games do not count. You're Japanese. I grew up in Neo-Mican. Or, futuristic 'America' according to the eggheads."
He looked confused.
I sighed, for what seemed to be the umpteenth time, "What I'm saying is, I was trained to wield guns for combat. You weren't. If I gave you a gun, you probably would've 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘭 to see if it was loaded." I deadpanned.
Darkness both looked incredibly lost in the conversation, but Megumin piped up. "What's a… what's a 'Gun'?"
…Okay.
Do I tell the Explosion-obsessed magician about guns? Do I risk her pulling out an RPG-9 on an unsuspecting monster?
…𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩.
"Okay, Megumin. Do you know what a crossbow is?" She nods, "Well, think of a gun as its superior cousin, using a series of springs and triggers, to use its own 𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘰, the 𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘰 hitting its target the second you pull the trigger."
She looked even more intrigued.
Hook.
But, she had an important question, "Why do you keep emphasizing the word 'Ammo'?"
"The '𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘰' uses miniaturized explosions to fire the main projectile. Specifically, with a compound aptly named gunpowder."
Line.
"But due to certain issues, different types of guns were made for different situations. Which meant, if you needed an explosive option, you got one."
𝙎𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙚𝙧.
She gasped in excitement. Kazuma paled. Darkness was still confused but was at least glad she knew what that contraption was now.
Kazuma gave me a look of betrayal and terror. "Are there 'Guns' with bigger explosions!?" Megumin excitedly asked.
"Give me a 'sec sweet cheeks." She blushed again.
I opened my comms tab in my HUD and started typing.
__________________________
𝙹𝚎𝚗: 𝙷𝚎𝚢 𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚊𝚜, 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚁𝙿𝙶-𝟾𝚜' 𝚍𝚘 𝚠𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚐𝚎? 𝙼𝚎𝚐𝚞𝚖𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎.
𝙰𝚕𝚒: 𝙰𝚑, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙴𝚡𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗-𝙿𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍 𝙰𝚛𝚌𝚑-𝚆𝚒𝚣𝚊𝚛𝚍? 𝚂𝚞𝚛𝚎.
𝙰𝚕𝚒: 𝚆𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙰𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚡. 𝟹,𝟻𝟺𝟸 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚁𝙿𝙶-𝟾 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝟷𝟸 𝚝𝚢𝚙𝚎𝚜, 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚙. 𝙼𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚞𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜.
𝙹𝚎𝚗: 𝚂𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚙 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚜, 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚜. 𝙺𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝟷 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚝𝚢𝚙𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎, 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝙰𝚕𝚒!
𝙰𝚕𝚒: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝙸 𝚍𝚘 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗… *𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚑*
𝙹𝚎𝚗: …𝙳𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚢𝚙𝚎 *𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚑*, 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔.
𝙰𝚕𝚒: :(
𝙹𝚎𝚗: :)
𝙰𝚕𝚒: 𝙳:<
_________________________
I closed the tab and re-focused on Megumin.
"Mmm… Those are called RPGs or Rocket Propelled Grenades. I have about one hundred different types in storage." She started to blush.
Do explosion-basssed things get her off?!
I mean, It was kind of expected. But it was still concerning.
"I mean, do you want to punish some Toads sometime… tomorrow?" I asked Megumin.
I probably should have watched my words because Darkness is red in the face. "Darkness can come too, I guess."
Darkness started mumbling about how I 'Completely disregarded her choice in the matter' with some 'Mistresses' plopped in.
Kazuma slowly, and wisely backed away.
"Gladly!" Megumin yelled, her fist in the air.
Heh. "Guess~ it's a date~!" got me an "Eep!" from Megumin, before she fainted from overheating.
"I'll be heading over to the Hunter, and before you get pissy Kazuma ("Oi."), I'll eventually start bunking on-planet when I can afford it."
Yeah. Turns out Toads don't pay all that well, and people are seemingly abrasive about Alrunes. A race that I am not.
𝐴𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑂𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔!
-<[𝘼𝙝, 𝘾𝙧𝙖𝙥!]>-
創作者的想法 
Dumby_3054
Dumby_3054 Ta-dah~
Creation is hard, cheer me up!
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票