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The Life of Tim

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Volume 1: The Life of Tim

In a world of magic and heroes, Tim, an ordinary law abiding citizen, experiences absolutely nothing bad. Life is just hunky-dory for him. His life definitely does not get ruined by any heroes not doing their jobs, and he totally does not commit several war crimes in the course of getting his life back on track. You cannot prove anything. Nothing out of the ordinary here! Very wholesome, 10/10 experience.

-- A proofreader that is definitely not being held at gunpoint

Volume 2: The Life of Ellie

In a world of magic and otherworldly heroes, Ellie is a good girl that goes around singing happy songs. At no point in time are there any terrible grudges she has to pursue. I swear by my dear old mother that she most definitely does not break the Geneva Convention multiple times in order to make things right. She's just a sweet little girl with a blanket poncho who most certainly has not put two-and-two together to realize that the heroes are why she has lost everything twice over. Please. I swear it's the truth.

-- Cato and Dentatus have my wife and kids. This is a legitimate plea for help.

Updates every Tuesday.

Cover art by Dentatus

Discord: https://discord.gg/576xkHb9aB

Parents Strongly Cautioned

每周推薦票狀態

Rank -- 推薦票 榜單
Stone -- 推薦票

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ViolettAbyss

this novel is dark and funny at the same time, the mc is losing his sanity with every chapter and doesn't act like your average mc. I love this

2yr
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lalallalalalalalal

Yo haven't been in the disc forr a while now. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbowskiddipapbumbum skrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

3yr
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leorichard2021_0515

Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact leorichard2021*@*outlook.com (please ignore both * when sending email). A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.

3yr
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最新發布:
Chapter 102: Chapter 29 - Epilogue 1 years ago

卷 1

  1. 1
    Prologue: In Which the Heroes do a Good Thing 3 years ago
  2. 2
    Volume 1 Chapter 1: The Life of Tim 3 years ago
  3. 3
    Chapter 2: Traveling by Map 3 years ago
  4. 4
    Chapter 3: Hydration is Key to a Healthy Life 3 years ago
  5. 5
    Chapter 4: Taxes and Death, The Only Certainties of Life 3 years ago
  6. 6
    Chapter 5: Cookies, a Rat's Best Friend 3 years ago
  7. 7
    Chapter 6: Oh You'd Butter Believe This 3 years ago
  8. 8
    Chapter 7: The Rat Definitely Does Not Talk 3 years ago
  9. 9
    Chapter 8: Hey Kids, Wanna See a Disembodied Hand? 3 years ago
  10. 10
    Chapter 8.5: Hey Siri, What is the Geneva Convention? 3 years ago
  11. 11
    Chapter 9: No One Ever Invites Me to Parties 3 years ago
  12. 12
    Chapter 10: Do Corpses Count as People? 3 years ago
  13. 13
    Chapter 10.5: Farmers Don't Count As People 3 years ago
  14. 14
    Chapter 11: My Friend, My Good Friend 3 years ago
  15. 15
    Chapter 12: Loitering Can Be Bad For Your Health 3 years ago
  16. 16
    Chapter 13: Of Rats and Half-Elves 3 years ago
  17. 17
    Chapter 14: The Rat is Not a Flute 3 years ago
  18. 18
    Chapter 15: Arm, Meet Rat 3 years ago
  19. 19
    Chapter 16: Rest When You're Dead 3 years ago
  20. 20
    Chapter 17: In Which Tim Discovers War Crimes 3 years ago
  21. 21
    Chapter 18: How To Make Mustard Gas 3 years ago
  22. 22
    Chapter 19: Kneel 3 years ago
  23. 23
    Chapter 20: Some Mustard For Your Hotdog 3 years ago
  24. 24
    Chapter 21: Definitely Not Sherlock 3 years ago
  25. 25
    Chapter 22: The Getting Out Of The Dodge 3 years ago
  26. 26
    Chapter 23: Always Pack Brass Knuckles On Trips 3 years ago
  27. 27
    Chapter 24: History Tends To Repeat Itself 3 years ago
  28. 28
    Chapter 25: Wood Splinters and Stone Bricks 3 years ago
  29. 29
    Chapter 26: Survivors 3 years ago
  30. 30
    Chapter 27: What Did That Desk Do To You? 3 years ago
  31. 31
    Chapter 28: In Which Tim Explores the Wonders of Chemical Weapons 3 years ago
  32. 32
    Chapter 29: Gunpowder? More Like Funpowder! 3 years ago
  33. 33
    Chapter 30: In Which The Hero Does His Job For Once 3 years ago
  34. 34
    Chapter 31: In Which Elena Causes Property Damage 3 years ago
  35. 35
    Chapter 32: In Which Tim Leans Back Really Far In A Chair 2 years ago
  36. 36
    Chapter 33: In Which Tim Slightly Improves Race Relations 2 years ago
  37. 37
    Chapter 34: Sir, I Need You To Ignore The Suspicious Barrels 2 years ago
  38. 38
    Chapter 35: In Which People Show Up To Work Hungover 2 years ago
  39. 39
    Chapter 36: In Which The Boys Look Forward To A Cold One 2 years ago
  40. 40
    Chapter 37: Volunteers Are A Renewable Resource 2 years ago
  41. 41
    Chapter 38: The Rat Requires Two Tins Of Cookies 2 years ago
  42. 42
    Chapter 39: In Which A Demon Camps For Kills 2 years ago
  43. 43
    Chapter 40: In Which A Hero Jumps Off A Wall 2 years ago
  44. 44
    Chapter 41: 1v1 Me Bro 2 years ago
  45. 45
    Chapter 42: In Which A Hero Uses Her Brain For Once 2 years ago
  46. 46
    Chapter 43: Spamming Lightning Magic 2 years ago
  47. 47
    Chapter 44: In Which Tim Ignores OSHA Regulations 2 years ago
  48. 48
    Chapter 45: A Flower In A Sea Of Smoke 2 years ago
  49. 49
    Chapter 46: Remember Kids, Always Cut Off The Head 2 years ago
  50. 50
    Chapter 47: In Which Tim Valiantly Runs Away 2 years ago
  51. 51
    Chapter 48: In Which Tim Becomes A Good, Upstanding Citizen 2 years ago
  52. 52
    Chapter 49: In Which Gangsters Bake Some Pastries 2 years ago
  53. 53
    Chapter 50: Messengers Are Expendable 2 years ago
  54. 54
    Chapter 51: Please Stop Killing The Messengers 2 years ago
  55. 55
    Chapter 52: A Wistful Dream For When The Violence Ends 2 years ago
  56. 56
    Chapter 53: A Rare Seven-Fingered Elf, What A Find! 2 years ago
  57. 57
    Chapter 54: Torchlight Reflecting In A Glass 2 years ago
  58. 58
    Chapter 55: In Which Bert Sings A Silly Song 2 years ago
  59. 59
    Chapter 56: Eleven Seconds 2 years ago
  60. 60
    Chapter 57: Hide and Seek With Your Friendly Neighborhood Hero! 2 years ago
  61. 61
    Chapter 58: Ain't Got No 'Mallows 2 years ago
  62. 62
    Chapter 59: In Which Adrian Drops his Mixtape 2 years ago
  63. 63
    Chapter 60: In Which Elena Eats Some Cod 2 years ago
  64. 64
    Chapter 61: My Friends, My Good Friends 2 years ago
  65. 65
    Chapter 62: Leftovers Always Taste Better 2 years ago
  66. 66
    Chapter 63: In Which Clarkson Does Paperwork 2 years ago
  67. 67
    Chapter 64: How To Use a Severed Head as a Distraction 2 years ago
  68. 68
    Chapter 65: In Which The Town Guard Stops For A Light Dinner 2 years ago
  69. 69
    Chapter 66: The Obvious Benefits Of An Ambush 2 years ago
  70. 70
    Chapter 67: In Which Tim Needs Some Aspirin 2 years ago
  71. 71
    Chapter 68: In Which Jumping Into A Burning Building Is A Good Idea 2 years ago
  72. 72
    Chapter 69: The Life of Tim 2 years ago
  73. 73
    Chapter 70: A Life, Almost Forgotten 2 years ago
  74. 74
    Volume 2 Chapter 1: The Life of Ellie 2 years ago
  75. 75
    Chapter 2: Bill Clarkson Vs Elena's Alcohol Addiction (Round 1 - Fight!) 2 years ago
  76. 76
    Chapter 3: In Which Elena Hates Blue People 2 years ago
  77. 77
    Chapter 4: In Which Ellie Takes Care of Very Serious Business 2 years ago
  78. 78
    Chapter 5: Fifty Good Men Ready To Commit Acts of Extreme Violence 2 years ago
  79. 79
    Chapter 6: The Voices in the Wall Aren't Real, They Can't Hurt You 2 years ago
  80. 80
    Chapter 7: Hello There Dandy-Man 2 years ago
  81. 81
    Chapter 8: In Which Galler Gives Out Firm Yet Loving Hugs 2 years ago
  82. 82
    Chapter 9: A Hero in Jeans and a Button-Down 2 years ago
  83. 83
    Chapter 10: In Which Santet Becomes One With The Dust 2 years ago
  84. 84
    Chapter 11: Exploring The Possibilities of Premeditated Homicide 2 years ago
  85. 85
    Chapter 12: Kicking Back With A Snack To Watch The Carnage 2 years ago
  86. 86
    Chapter 13: There Ain't No Ice Cream On A Battlefield 2 years ago
  87. 87
    Chapter 14: Bad Vibes On A Battlefield 2 years ago
  88. 88
    Chapter 15: In Which Some Soldiers Sample Fine Cuisine 2 years ago
  89. 89
    Chapter 16: Right, So The People In The Mud? Yeah. They Can See You 2 years ago
  90. 90
    Chapter 17: A Thousand Voices 2 years ago
  91. 91
    Chapter 18: Keep An Eye On The Rats 2 years ago
  92. 92
    Chapter 19: In Which Ellie Has A Sneaky-Beaky Idea 2 years ago
  93. 93
    Chapter 20: That One Thing With The Dragons And The Balls 2 years ago
  94. 94
    Chapter 21: In Which Ellie Has Violent Intentions 2 years ago
  95. 95
    Chapter 22: In Which Ellie Gets Some Petty Revenge 2 years ago
  96. 96
    Chapter 23: EAT THE GLASS EAT THE GLASS 2 years ago
  97. 97
    Chapter 24: The Gore Pit 2 years ago
  98. 98
    Chapter 25: The Man In The Suit 1 years ago
  99. 99
    Chapter 26: The Thing In The Gore Pit 1 years ago
  100. 100
    Chapter 27: Attempting To Shank A Hero 1 years ago
  101. 101
    Chapter 28: The Life Of Ellie 1 years ago
  102. 102
    Chapter 29 - Epilogue 1 years ago