章節 85: The Butterfly and the Bee IV
On Sunday, I found myself lounging around the family room, idly flipping channels. The March Madness NCAA Basketball Tournament was still going on, but since USC, UCLA, and Cal had ALL missed out, I didn't really care much. Stanford had been a #1 seed, but I was happy to see they'd been upset by Alabama the day before.
I was still flipping channels when the twins came down. Emma unceremoniously dragged me away from my comfortable spot in one of the couch corners, plopping me into the center cushion of the 3-seater sofa. Then one twin cuddled up on each side of me, using me as a backrest while draping their legs over the armrests in either direction.
Eden promptly swiped the remote control out of my hand and went looking for her own shows. I really didn't mind as I found myself lost in thought over the two very pretty young girls leaning against me. The times had changed. Eden and Emma were fourteen, in High School, with nice tits and great asses and all those things that come with being a beautiful teenager. But for the first time in a long while, the vibes I got from them were from years and years past. These weren't horny teenage girls wanting to explore their sexuality with me. These were just ... the twins, my baby sisters.
I felt no urge to let my hands drift down their chests to cop a feel. Neither twin made any move to grope me, either. We just sat there, watching TV, enjoying the familiar and comfortable presence of a loved one. It was like the twins were 10- years-old again. I imagined that if I whipped out the latest Grand Theft Auto, the girls would squeal for me to steal a pink car for them.
Right in that moment, I could scarcely believe all the sexual things the girls and I had done in the past couple of years. It seemed like another person, not me, who had french-kissed the twins and fondled their naked breasts and let them swallow his cum. Either that or it was really me and they were different young teenagers, not really my little sisters. I just couldn't reconcile the acts that had taken place and the brotherly affection I felt for them right now.
The feelings confused me. After all, my brotherly affection had never interfered with me fucking Brandi's and Brooke's brains out. But after a few seconds of thought, I realized that I put those two sisters in a completely different category from the twins. Maybe it was the age gap. Maybe it was because Eden and Emma were just the babies of the family. Whatever it was, there was something about the twins that put them in a class of their own.
I thought about the future, and how my life was changing as I grew up. Lately, I'd been distracted by the dramas of my butterfly and my bee, developing this new relationship with Cadence and trying to figure out how best to support Paige. But when I expanded my thoughts beyond them, I realized just how OLD I was getting.
In a few months, Brandi would be graduating and moving on with her career and life beyond the core family. That meant in two more years, I would be doing the same. Already we were both in college, living 500 miles away from Orange County and from our parents. In another few months, Brooke would be arriving, having already gotten her admission to Cal as well. The three of us had this college life in common, or close enough to it. We were in a category of our own.
The twins, however, were at a completely different point in their lives. They were just barely in High School and had three more years of growing up to do. I had already seen how much the last two years of my High School career had changed me. My thoughts drifted back to Keira getting married yesterday. I had come to the realization that we were worlds apart, and that we simply didn't belong together. Now, I realized that the twins and I were worlds apart as well. And as I realized that, I also realized that I was NOT the right person to take their virginities.
I didn't regret the things we'd already done. The girls had been curious and naïve. And as uncomfortable as it made me at times, I was much happier knowing the 13 and now 14-year-olds had explored their budding sexuality with me. I was safe. I loved them. And of course, the physical pleasure was pretty nice as well.
But that was then. This was now. The girls had grown up some and had their own experiences with boys. I wanted them to be safe, but they still had to try and fail and learn and grow, the same way Brandi and Brooke had during their teenage years. It wouldn't do for them to be fixated on me, especially since I wasn't around.
And that was the main point: I wasn't around. Yeah, Brooke was two years younger than me. But after I took her virginity, I was still around her every day and night to satisfy her urges and teach her and protect her and generally BE a big brother. If I also took the twins' virginities, I wouldn't be around for them. The simple fact was, once a girl started having sex, she'd want to continue. If I fucked them and went back to Berkeley, the twins would have no choice but to turn to their classmates and the people around them, whether they were ready to deal with those kinds of boys and men or not. And my ego added that if I gave the twins the greatest possible sexual experiences, everything else with fumbling High Schoolers would be a letdown. I just couldn't do it to them.
My mind came back to the real world as I blinked and looked down at the tops of the twins' heads. The girls were still zoned out to the television, oblivious to the thoughts racing through my head. I tightened my arms, hugging them a little more firmly.
Eden noticed and looked up at me. "What's up?"
I smiled back and leaned in to peck her forehead affectionately. "Nothing. Just thinking about how much I love you two."
Both twins giggled and then snuggled deeper into my embrace. But again, there was nothing sexual about their movements. There were no indications that they might want to retire to a bedroom and practice kissing or giving each other oral pleasure. Whether consciously or not, it seemed that they'd also decided that they and I would be affectionate siblings, and nothing more.
That was fine with me.
It felt like I'd made a momentous decision. I wanted to share it, and I knew exactly who I had to tell. Patting the girls' shoulders, I said, "Let me up."
Without questioning why, the girls simply sat up to let me scoot out away from them. Once I was gone, they turned themselves around and backed into the corners, letting their legs drape across each other's. Their eyes were on the TV, big brother already forgotten. I smiled and turned away to look for Mom.
I found her in the living room, actually. She was chatting with Brandi about school and about her future plans. Both women looked up when I entered and Mom read the seriousness in my expression first. "What is it?"
"Uh, I don't want to interrupt."
"No, it's fine. We're just chatting." Mom looked to Brandi for confirmation, and my sister just nodded seriously. It seemed both of them knew what I had to say was more than just a casual comment.
I took a deep breath to collect myself and glanced at Brandi, taking an extra half- second to decide that I didn't mind if she was here for this. I took a seat on the couch next to Mom and looked right at her. "I know we had some talks about the twins and their, ah, development."
Mom nodded and Brandi arched an eyebrow at the topic.
I took another deep breath and stated while shaking my head, "I am NOT going to have sex with the twins, even when they turn fifteen."
Now Mom arched her eyebrow and she looked at Brandi while taking a deep breath of her own. Then she glanced back at me. "I see."
Mom could tell that I had more to say, and very deliberately, I spelled out all the thoughts I'd just been thinking about on the couch, ranging from my belief that the twins and I were just worlds apart to how I wouldn't be around for them in the aftermath if I DID go through with it. I explained that I didn't regret a thing that I'd done with Brandi or Brooke, but that things were just very different with Eden and Emma. My narrative was a little disjointed as thoughts came back to me and I realized I'd zig-zagged around the logical progression of things. But I got my point across and in the end, both women were nodding in agreement with me.
"Aren't you worried what will happen to them on their own?" Mom asked me when I was finally done.
I sighed and nodded. "Of course. I'm their big brother and I love them. But ... Brandi managed to work it out on her own, and she turned out alright."
Brandi blushed and looked down in mild embarrassment.
"Besides, I think the twins have a good foundation. They've learned a lot — both of the positives and the potential negatives — from all of us older kids, including Adrienne. Brooke's still around as an enforcer for a few more months at least. And I'm pretty sure you won't have anything to worry about until next winter when the twins turn fifteen."
Mom grinned. "We are NOT telling them about this little conversation. If I could convince them that they still need to wait for you until they're eighteen, I would."
Brandi and I chuckled. "You don't want me to tell them?" I asked.
Mom shook her head. "No. I'm going to do whatever I can to keep them virginal and pure for as long as I can. Oh, I know they'll need to learn eventually. But I've got the right to err on the side of caution."
I sighed. "They'll be disappointed though, next winter. I'm not sure they'll really understand. I don't want them to feel rejected or to hate me for it."
Mom shrugged. "If it makes you feel any better, I never would have let you do it anyways."
My head jerked back and I arched an eyebrow. "What?"
Mom grinned mischievously. "I never intended to let you sleep with the twins, Benjamin, for the exact same reasons you just laid out."
"You didn't?"
She shook her head. "But you realized it on your own, that it was the right thing to do. I'm very proud of you."
My mouth gaped. I was still surprised at her declaration. "But if you were never going to let me, why did you let ME think I was going to do it?"
She shrugged. "Same reason I'm not telling the girls yet. Having that carrot out there helped keep all THREE of you in line. Like I said, I'm a Mom. I'll do whatever I can to keep them pure and virginal for as long as I can. If we're lucky, the girls will grow out of their infatuation with you by that time and it will all be a moot point."
There was no mistaking the devious grin on Mom's face. Brandi and I turned, looked at each other, and rolled our eyes. Then I looked back to Mom and sighed. "Fine. But if they don't and the twins want to come skin me alive for making them wait and then not following through, I'm going to point them at YOU."
"We'll see..." Mom smiled. "We'll see."
I didn't give the whole thing much further thought after that. It seemed that Mom was on the right track that the twins were growing out of their infatuation with me as they didn't pursue me for physical pleasures at all that week. We did, however, share a lot of fun brother-sister time just chatting and loafing around the house. To my surprise, the twins had taken to playing on their Nintendo GameCube after they'd gotten home from school and finished with their homework. I got roped into playing Mario Party with them. And somehow they always got me to pick the pink go-karts or characters.
Brandi and I also did the sibling-bonding thing during the weekdays while our parents were at work and our sisters were at school, since the local district had a different spring break from Cal. Brandi was facing her rather permanent move out of Southern California as she'd already landed a job in San Francisco. And she seemed on a mission to visit all the landmarks she'd miss down south, like the Getty Center, Griffith Observatory, and Pink's Hot Dog stand.
And of course, Brooke and I did our own version of sibling-bonding, the kind that involved my dick inside her tight pussy. With her own graduation and relocation up north fast approaching, she had no serious boyfriend and she'd been looking forward to this week for some time.
But after a pleasant week spent with family, I headed back to school...
... And back to my butterfly and bee dramas.
MARCH 28, 2004, SPRING BREAK
It was already evening when Adrienne pulled the Mustang back into the old familiar driveway, and I was quickly out the door and hustling around to the trunk. I grabbed both Brandi's and my suitcases, trundled around to the front of the house, and went up the steps onto the porch.
The door opened before I got to it and Dawn stepped out, quickly hopping up to me and giving me a welcoming hug. "Hey, you."
"Hey," I replied warmly, hugging her back. But as happy as I was to see Dawn, my mind was on two other girls who were very important to me. "Is Paige back yet?"
Dawn looked at me sadly, holding my gaze for a moment before she blinked and shook her head. "No. No word. Not even a phone call since her parents came to get her."
I winced at the memory. Dawn had called me on Sunday, after Keira's wedding, to give me the recap. Paige's parents at first didn't realize she was pregnant, Paige's mom even joking about her eating too much junk food. But deciding to get everything out then and there while she still had backup, Paige informed her parents that she'd gotten knocked up.
Dawn's and Adrienne's presence or not, the parents proceeded to verbally lash their daughter right there on the sidewalk until she was a sobbing mess. They caused such a scene that one passing bystander actually interposed himself between Paige and her outraged father, ordering the older man to back off.
Paige's father just screamed that she was his daughter and he had the right to do whatever he wanted to her. Then Paige's parents dragged her into their car and peeled out so fast they actually burned rubber. I wished I had been there for support, but Dawn assured me that my presence would have only made things worse.
In the here and now, I squeezed Dawn tightly and then took a deep breath. I told her I was heading out to see Cadence, and reminded Dawn to call me as soon as she had word from Paige. Then I headed back out and started walking to my girlfriend's dorm a few blocks away.
I had absolutely no idea what I was walking into.
As concerned as I was for the Paige situation, I was in a happy mood as I rode the elevator up to Cadence's floor. I could barely tolerate the two or three day gaps in seeing my girlfriend for the past couple of months as it was. Spending this last week without her had been an absolute torment, with only the phone keeping us in touch during the absence. Like everything, her style of chatting with me was more tease than content. She seemed to detest the phone even more than I did, and our cell conversations during the past week had all been quite short. As always, she left me craving more.
So I excitedly stepped off the elevator and briskly walked down to Cadence's room. I'd told her my flight schedule so she knew about when I would be coming to her room. And I was expecting a happy reunion with open arms and maybe even a welcome back fuck. Our going away fuck had certainly been mind- blowing.
But as I passed the dorm lounge, a familiar face caught my eye. It was Peggy, Cadence's roommate; and she was sitting on the couch with a textbook in her hands. She looked up when I came to an abrupt halt and gave her a little wave hello. She blanched and almost nervously returned the wave. And then her eyes swept over to the bedroom door.
There was a red ribbon around Cadence's doorknob. At first, a sense of dread washed over me. Why would Cadence have put the red ribbon on the doorknob if I wasn't in there with her? Bile rose up my throat and anger crept into my brain before my better judgment caught up with me.
Well of course. Cadence knew I was coming home and she was preparing my welcome for me. Our anniversary date, with the carriage ride and all, had gone so well that maybe she was planning something REALLY special for me now. I bet she'd pre-emptively kicked Peggy out of the room and was likely waiting for me clad in some slinky lingerie designed to get me hard and out of my clothes as fast as possible. And with my burgeoning erection leading the way, I strutted up to the door.
"Motherfucking-shit! Fuck me! Oh, fuck me!"
My hand froze halfway to the doorknob. My jaw dropped and my heart thudded into my stomach as I heard the cries floating through the door.
"Pound me! Pound me!" Cadence cried through the door. "Shove that thick cock up my slutty asshole! Fuck me! Fuck me!"
My eyes went wide. FUCK!
My arms tensed and I balled up my fists, readying myself to fucking BREAK down the FUCKING DOOR. But just as I reached up to start pounding, all the fight left my body and I felt like crumpling to the floor. Moisture formed in the corners of my eyes and a sense of anguish washed away the red anger in my mind. Why? WHY?
Feeling numb, I turned away from the door, away from the sounds of sex and away from HER. Staggering slightly, I headed right into the dorm lounge and moved beside Peggy, dropping my ass onto the couch while staring at the far wall.
"I'm sorry," Peggy said softly.
Blinking, I asked while still staring at the wall, "How long have they been in there?"
"A half-hour. Maybe a little longer."
My mind raced. I calculated the timing. Cadence HAD to know that I was coming. She'd even emailed me back to confirm my flight schedule. That meant she'd PLANNED for me to arrive right as she was fucking this guy. And at that realization, I did start crying and buried my face in my hands. "FUCK!"
Peggy was quiet, but I was sure she was watching me. I just tried to keep calm for a couple of minutes, but then I picked my face up out of my hands and looked over at her. "Do you know the guy?"
Peggy shook her head in the negative.
"She been with him before?" I asked.
"I don't know. This is definitely the first time she's brought anyone but you here, though," Peggy said with a shrug, as if that piece of news would somehow help.
I sighed and then put my head down. We were both silent for a few minutes. Peggy just sort of sat there next to me, unable to return to her textbook and unable to just walk away from me. But eventually I turned and looked at her. "I'm going to stay here and wait for them. You don't have to stick around here if you don't want to."
She was visibly nervous and glanced at the door and then back to me. "You sure?"
I nodded.
"Sorry," Peggy apologized as if this whole thing were somehow her fault. She scooped up her book and bag and then almost raced out of the lounge, desperate to get the hell away from this situation. I hoped that this would somehow improve Peggy's relationship with her own boyfriend. At least, then, something good would come of it.
And then I settled in to wait.
It actually didn't take very long. I knew Cadence and I had some marathon sessions together, but twenty minutes later, the door opened and a tall, well-built guy came out fully dressed. Cadence was behind him, apparently wearing just a robe over her naked body. He turned to kiss her lips but she presented her cheek to him instead. And then he stood and said hesitantly, "I'll call you sometime?"
"Sure," Cadence shrugged noncommittally. Her eyes immediately darted over to me when she realized I was in the lounge. And then she almost pushed the guy out the door.
Obediently, he left and headed down the hall toward the elevators, shaking his head and muttering, "Crazy bitch."
When he passed, I stood and headed to the door. Cadence looked at me with a curious expression, and then she tightened the robe around herself while going back into the room, running her right hand through her strawberry-blonde hair. I followed her inside and then closed the door behind me. My nose crinkled at the obvious smell of sex.
Cadence flopped onto the bed and sat upright. The robe parted slightly at her chest, revealing the deep cleavage of her 36D's. She sighed and looked up at me, asking, "What are you doing here?"
I blinked and folded my arms across my chest, leaning against the wall. "I was coming to see my girlfriend after the Spring Break."
She pursed her lips and looked away for a moment, then turned to face me. "How long were you out there?"
"Long enough."
"And you stuck around?"
"I wanted to talk."
Cadence sighed, tilting her head back and looking for the entire world as if she'd rather do ANYTHING but talk. I wasn't too surprised. Deep conversations were NOT my butterfly's forte. "Do we really have to?" she whined.
"I think we should."
"I cheated on you. You hate me. We break up. Isn't that how this is supposed to work?"
"Is that what you want to happen?"
She turned her head and then looked back at me. "Yes," she stated firmly.
I arched an eyebrow. "You don't want to talk about this and hope that maybe I'll forgive you?"
"What?" Cadence looked shocked. "No, I don't want your forgiveness! I want out! That's why I seduced that guy. That's why I timed it for when I knew you were coming." She stopped and rolled her eyes in obvious annoyance. "I wanted you to catch us so I wouldn't have to fucking DEAL with this conversation!"
Just then my cell phone went off. I sighed and without looking, reached down and pressed the END button.
I folded my arms again and asked, "Why? Why did you want to break up?"
"Because this isn't working, Ben. Because what you want and what I want aren't the same thing. And because I thought this relationship would be fun!"
"Wasn't it?"
"Most of the time," she conceded. "But then we had these moments where you pulled shit like you're pulling right now. You want to talk and you want to discuss our future and blah, blah, blah. It's so boring! It's not FUN!"
"And was that guy fun?" I pointed out the door. "Do you want HIM now instead of me?"
"Him? Eww, no! He was disposable," Cadence flipped her hand. "I'll never talk to him again. He didn't mean anything to me."
"So what? You used him? To hurt me?"
Cadence shrugged. "It's worked before. Clearly I underestimated your feelings for me." She shook her head. "And why is that? Huh? Just WHY do you have such strong feelings for me? What the fuck did I ever do that made you think we had a future?"
My cell phone went off again. This time, I held down the END button until the fucking thing powered off.
"Why couldn't I think of a future with you?" I scowled. "Isn't that why people get together?"
"No!" Cadence looked at me like I'd asked her if she wanted to eat live cockroaches. "I wanted a boyfriend, not a fucking husband! I wanted a reliable man who would open doors for me and treat me nice and fuck the ever- living-shit out of me whenever the hell I wanted! I wanted a date who would take me out to dinner and pull out my chair and then take me home and blast a load of hot cum up my ass! I wanted a steady source of dick, and you're the best around!"
I chewed on that and glanced back at her. "Then ... then ... why weren't we just fucking from the first date?"
"I don't know! Why weren't we?" Cadence glared. "Gawd, maybe that should have been my sign. I should have realized you were a romantic when you were playing it slow instead of jumping my bones like you did every other girl you met."
"I'M a romantic? What's with all that Princess crap?"
"A girl likes to be treated nice out in public, okay? That doesn't mean I want to cuddle and get all mushy and talk about my feelings." She spat the word "feelings" as if it were the most disgustingly filthy curse word she could imagine.
"But if you just wanted to have fun, why were YOU waiting?"
"Because I don't make a move until YOU show me that you want me. I just don't. Except for that first time I asked you out — because I REALLY wanted to hook up with you — I'm not the kind of girl to initiate contact. What kind of Princess has to pursue a Prince?"
"You didn't pursue..." I waved my hand in the general direction of the door. "... him?" I questioned.
"Of course not." Cadence rolled her eyes again. "He's been after me for weeks. Yeah, I flirted with him and I teased him. And HE had the fucking balls to ask if he could come into the room with me the first chance he got."
"Fucking hell..." I stared at her with a fury in my eyes. The S-word was on the tip of my tongue, but I was loathe to call anyone a slut, even her.
She recognized the foul expression on my face. Getting defensive, she growled. "Don't get me wrong. I'm no slut. I turn down 99% of the guys that proposition me. But I turn down 100% of the guys that DON'T, and it's not my fault it took you weeks to get down to business."
Still with the slut concept at the front of my head, I growled. "And how many of that 1% you DO accept happened since we got together?"
Her eyes flashed dangerously. "Before him? Zero. I was completely faithful to you up until today." Then Cadence's eyes dropped to slits and she sneered at me as she asked, "What about you?"
I snarled and looked away. I knew damn well I'd fucked both Adrienne and Brooke since getting serious with Cadence. While they didn't "count" to me, I wasn't entirely sure my girlfriend would have seen things that way. I started to compose a response, but Cadence beat me to it.
"Look, I don't really care who you had on the side, be it Adrienne or even more than her," Cadence sighed. "You never left me wanting, and that's all that mattered. But right now, I just don't want to waste any more time. This is already WAY more drama than I want to deal with, and there's always another guy."
I shook my head at how casually Cadence was dismissing our relationship. "Fucking butterflies..."
"Huh?"
"Nevermind," I sighed.
"What do you want from me, Ben?"
"I wanted a girlfriend, alright? If I just wanted to get laid, I could've just kept banging all your sorority sisters," I griped, holding my forehead.
Cadence exhaled, dropping her chin into her hands. She looked as if this were the absolute worst torture she could imagine, trapped and having to TALK to me. "Sorry I'm not what you expected," she drawled, not really sounding sorry.
But then a second later, she fixed those green eyes on me and stared at me seriously. "Look, when we first started, I didn't know you wanted any deep commitments. I just wanted to have a good time and based on what I knew of you, seeing you flirt with all the other Tri-Delts, I thought that you were of the same mind." She took a deep breath, this time looking truly apologetic. "I'm sorry. I should have realized it when you brought me to meet your friends on Valentine's Day. I was just too excited to notice, I guess. I was hot and horny and really tired of waiting so long for you to make a move. And when you finally did, the sex was just so amazing that I forgot about everything else."
Her candor and open honesty for once did wonders for calming me down. This was the most serious I'd ever seen Cadence, and I couldn't help but remember all our naughty, nasty sex sessions. And unable to stop myself from smiling, I arched an eyebrow and drawled, "The sex was great, wasn't it?"
She sighed. "I'm going to miss it. But sex alone won't save us. Not when we want different things."
"I want the intimacy and affection of a relationship," I sighed.
"And I don't. That's our problem. And that's why we can't stay together."
I nodded and turned to lean my back against the wall, tilting my head until I was staring at the ceiling. "There, was that so hard? Just talking to me? You didn't have to debase yourself by fucking some random guy."
Cadence chuckled and flashed me an impish grin. "But I LIKE fucking..."
"Still. This would have hurt less," I growled. I still couldn't get the vision of my girlfriend getting plowed by a random stranger out of my head. My hands balled into fists and I had to exhale slowly to keep myself calm.
"I'm sorry." She shrugged. "Maybe next time." I looked up to see that her whole posture had improved. She seemed to realize that our conversation was coming to an end and she wouldn't have to deal with me and my emotions anymore. Like a true butterfly, she was already off to land the next flower.
I shook my head and cursed myself for being so stupid. Dawn had warned me that we were doomed to fail if we didn't get on the same page. But I'd been blinded by a pretty face and great tits and never really paid attention to all the warning signs. I'd failed once with Adrienne, not realizing that we didn't want the same things in our future. Now I'd done it again with Cadence.
What was this with me attracting girls who didn't want to settle down? Maybe it was my own fault. Being the man-slut that I was, perhaps all the "nice" girls ran screaming the other way whenever I came around. No way would any of them want to put up with my wildly promiscuous ways. I'd made my own bed, playing around with the entire Tri-Delt sorority, and I had to sleep in it.
Cadence wasn't going to change, and for me to waste any more time trying to make her was pointless. So shaking my head, I stood up straight and took a deep breath. I fixed the sleeves of my sweater as I looked wearily at my now ex-girlfriend. "Fine. You're free. We're broken up," I sighed. "You take care, Cadence."
She measured me and nodded. "You too, Ben."
I walked out the door, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to will the visions of Cadence and the other guy out of my head.
But the harder I tried, the more they stayed lodged in my brain.
I needed to PUNCH something.
I was quite morose and pissed off as I staggered up the steps to the house. I was also in pain, having attempted to knock down the wall in the lobby of Cadence's dorm.
Wall 1, Ben 0. Fucking felt like I'd fractured my hand.
I went into the house to find the living room empty. I turned to head into my bedroom, but someone must have heard my steps on the hardwood because Adrienne's door flung open and there was Dawn, glaring at me with a very pissed off expression on her face. "Where the FUCK have you been?" she squawked.
"At Cadence's. You fucking KNOW that!" I barked right back, not in the mood. But I regretted the anger in my voice and softened, looking back at Dawn's face. "What's going on?"
"I've been frantically trying to get a hold of you. Your cell phone is off or something." Dawn pushed the door wider open, to show Adrienne, Brandi, and Paige sitting on Adrienne's bed. Paige was sobbing and the other two were trying to comfort her.
"While you were busy getting laid, WE were dealing with this," Dawn jabbed her finger at Paige.
"I wasn't getting laid," I spat back, too exhausted to try and argue with her right now. And I realized that now was not the time to argue anyways. So I pushed past Dawn and went into the room.
Paige looked up at me as I came in and just started crying even harder. She put her head down while the girls rubbed her back. The petite redhead was whimpering constantly, mumbling mostly. The only words I could make out were, "I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!"
"Paige, Paige..." I said soothingly, shoving my own anger aside. It was actually good that there was some new crisis for me to focus on; it made me stop dwelling on Cadence. I reached my hand out to her and asked, "What's wrong? What happened?"
Paige looked up me, her eyes dull and her face ashen. She reached out and took my hand in hers, crying, "My parents kicked me out."
Ah, hell.
Already emotionally wrung-out from the whole thing with Cadence, I simply sank down onto the bed and hung my head downward. Paige squeezed my hand and continued whimpering. Then she spilled the story for me.
"They were livid, of course, when they came to pick me up. They drove me straight to the church and we went in to see our priest. Then they kept me there almost the rest of the night, asking me questions over and over again until they were convinced I had told them everything."
Paige took a deep breath and I managed to look at her, squeezing her hand.
Her eyes apologetic, she continued. "They don't know much about you. I told them you were my boyfriend freshman year but we broke up. I told them you weren't involved. They were more concerned with what was going on last semester."
I shrugged and nodded. Her parents being mad at me wasn't something I was worried about.
Paige sighed and looked at the other girls. They'd already heard this part, but being able to retell it had focused her narrative. "My parents know everything: the drugs, the sleeping around. They couldn't believe that I didn't even know who the father was. My dad was ready to excommunicate me right then and there."
Paige grimaced and bent over, looking ready to start crying again. I squeezed her hand and said, "You don't have to tell me everything. Maybe we should just get things calmed down right now. The girls can fill me in later."
But Paige shook her head and looked stubbornly at me. I knew the look. When my little firecracker got something in her head, nothing would stop her. "I had to do some penance, saying prayers and things like that. My parents brought me home and then promptly locked me down. I couldn't leave the house for any reason. We didn't even celebrate my birthday. I turned 20 last Tuesday. Did you know that?"
She turned forlornly to Adrienne, who just pursed her lips and nodded. Adrienne was good about remembering people's birthdays.
Paige sighed. "For the whole week, they gave me only bread and water — probably not the greatest diet for the baby. They made me pray or do these stupid rituals almost constantly. And then they did their best to show me the error of my ways and remind me how much I'd disappointed them. Like I didn't know that already."
She sighed and I just kept squeezing her hand, waiting until she'd talked it all out.
After a few moments to catch her breath, Paige looked at me and whimpered. She looked ready to cry again, her mouth a hard line with her lips pressed inwards. "Apparently I didn't show them enough contrition. Never mind that I've already spent months beating myself up over it and I'm too tired of second- guessing myself." She bit her lip and looked to the ceiling. "They never talked to me about what to do with the baby. I don't know if they discussed any plans themselves. Nothing was talked about what to do in the future. It was only about the mistakes I'd made in the past and how they never should have let me leave home to go to college."
Brandi and Adrienne were still rubbing Paige's back and arms. They had tensed up, and based on their cues, I got the impression Paige's story was coming to a close.
My little redhead took a deep breath and then looked at me. She was surprisingly calm at this moment, as if she'd accepted what happened. Or maybe it hurt so much that she was still in shock. Either way, her voice was clear and strong as she sat up straight and stated, "I had no idea what was going to happen when my parents drove me back to school. I was surprised they hadn't talked to me about what to do with the baby at all. Frankly, I'd thought they wouldn't even let me come BACK. But they drove me to Berkeley and dropped me off outside the dorm. Mom stayed in the car and Dad came around to pull my bag out of the trunk."
Paige took a deep breath. I realized that everyone else seemed to be holding theirs in as well.
"He looked at me strangely and said, 'You are no longer our daughter. We will cancel your credit cards and you are not welcome in our home. You have obviously chosen to take this sinful path in your life, and we will leave you to it. What you do from now on is up to you.' And then he got back in the car and peeled away from the curb."
I blinked in absolute shock. She'd told me way in the beginning that her parents had kicked her out. But it still felt like I'd gotten kicked in the gut when Paige finally laid it out.
My male problem-solving instincts went to work. Perhaps it would have been better to be emotionally supportive. But then again, maybe Paige had been getting enough of that from the girls so far. I blinked a few times and then looked up, asking, "Is your tuition paid off through the end of the semester at least?"
Paige nodded and glanced at Brandi before returning to me. "I'm fine financially, for now at least. I got a full-ride, remember? Tuition, room, and board. Even medical. As long as I keep my grades up."
I didn't remember. I'd known Paige had some scholarships, and that she was a smart girl. But a full-ride? "Wow," I breathed.
"So I won't lose my dorm room," Paige said carefully. "But, ah ... I mean, I know I said I wouldn't be staying here long. But, I-"
"You can stay here as long as you need. I won't ever kick you out," I said firmly. Only then did I look to my roommates for confirmation. Neither of them looked like they were going to disagree. Even Dawn was nodding her head.
Paige nodded and looked at her hands. Now that she'd told her story ... twice ... she seemed remarkably calm. Resigned, but calm. There was no imminent danger of losing a roof over her head or having to drop out of school. There was, of course, the impending arrival of a baby. But now with her parents no longer an option for support, maybe I could still talk Paige into an abortion. Or at the very least, adoption. She was in no condition to raise a child.
I'd been ruminating on these things for a few seconds, still holding Paige's hand but staring off into space. It was Dawn's urgent, "Ben!" that roused me, as I looked over to see that Paige's eyes were fluttering and she was on the verge of passing out. Oops, she hadn't been calm and resigned. She'd been in shock. And as her emotional reserves of energy were leaving her, she was toppling forward right at me.
Quickly I scooped my arms and caught her. Then without thinking about it, I lifted Paige like a little child and brought her into my lap. Her legs were on either side of me. Her arms were over my shoulders. And her head was pillowed on my shoulder.
"Hmm..." the little redhead whimpered and wrapped herself more tightly around my body.
Without a word to the girls, I pivoted and then stood up off the bed, still holding Paige in my arms. I walked out of Adrienne's bedroom, straight across into mine. A few seconds later, I gently lay the little redhead down in my bed before turning and kicking off my own shoes and uncomfortable jeans. She pulled off her own jeans as well before tucking herself beneath the covers, shivering slightly at the cold touch. Then I slipped in beside her, cuddling the young, frightened girl against me and giving her my body's warmth. I slowly talked to her, giving her soothing words about how I was there to help her. And eventually, we both fell asleep.
The pain didn't go away in my sleep. Once I was out, my subconscious took over and kept me tossing and turning fitfully, never quite enough to wake me up but not letting me really rest, either.
I kept running through every conversation I'd ever had with Cadence. I kept seeing all the clues I'd missed: clues that she never wanted a permanent, romantic commitment. And I mentally thrashed myself over how stupid I'd been and the mistakes I'd made.
And I wasn't the only one tossing and turning. Paige was having a rough night of her own, no doubt trying to cope with the idea that her parents had disowned her and that she was all alone in the world. It's a frightening thing for a young girl who'd grown up very sheltered, to suddenly find herself tossed out into the real world. I couldn't imagine what was going through her head that night.
At some point, my tossing and Paige's tossing woke us both up. It was the darkest part of night, but there was enough illumination from clocks and the moon that we could see each other's eyes as we turned to each other. And for a few seconds, we both calmed down seeing the face of someone special, someone who truly cared about us.
I was feeling abandoned by Cadence. While I wouldn't have said I'd fallen in love with her, I'd put a part of my heart into our relationship and a lot of my hopes for the near future at least. I was feeling lonely and angry. I wanted to lash out at something and wanted to feel good at the same time. I am a sexual creature, and drowning myself in a sea of orgasmic bliss was always an option I looked for in moments like this.
Paige was feeling abandoned by her parents. She was tired and scared and alone. She was looking for comfort and love, in any form. And in me she saw a possibility for happiness. Wouldn't it be wonderful for her if the only man who had ever stepped up to defend her came to love her again? Wouldn't it be wonderful if she could once again be with the only man who had ever been a protective, considerate boyfriend? And how wonderful would it be if her greatest love married her and raised her child with her, sheltering and providing for her and her baby. She wouldn't have to be alone ever again. And she could be happy for all eternity.
Of course, I knew what was I was thinking at the time. I wouldn't find out what Paige was thinking for another day. But it didn't matter. In that moment, we both wanted the same thing. I reached out to hold her cheeks in my hands, tilted my head, and closed my eyes as I puckered up. Paige trembled with excitement and eagerly met my lips, her eyes wide open for the few seconds as our mouths molded together. And then she whimpered in surprised elation before closing her eyes and giving herself over to the passion of our kiss.
From that point on, there wasn't much more thought from either of us. It was sometime after 3am. We were both physically and emotionally exhausted. 'Thinking' just wasn't part of what happened next. We simply moved.
We'd both fallen asleep in the T-shirts we'd been wearing the previous day, plus our underwear. Maintaining our liplock, I rolled us over so that I was on top. And then we started to pull off our clothing. Paige and I broke our kisses long enough for me to drag her T-shirt up over her face, up her arms, and then to leave it somewhere above the pillows. She reached behind herself to unsnap her bra, and then I snaked a hand up and underneath the loosened cup to fondle one of her pert 32B's. All the while I ground my crotch against her hip bone. And our tongues dueled together inside of and between our mouths.
Paige's hands then tugged at my boxer shorts, jerking at them hurriedly. I pulled away long enough to drag them down my ass, not even quite to my knees, but low enough to free my cock and balls. For a brief second I thought about taking the time to fully undress, but the urgent need to be inside her was too great. So reaching down, I pulled the crotch of her panties to the side, slotted my dick, and started pushing.
Paige tore her mouth away and grunted when my battering ram parted her tight pussy lips. She was wet, but not that wet, and her vaginal lips were no longer used to opening. She strained and groaned, spreading her legs to the sides to help. I lowered my chest onto hers, feeling her bra cups against my chest just beneath her neck. And I gripped her hips for leverage to continue pressing my thick member deep inside her moistening canal.
The petite redhead groaned as I sank in inch by inch. Her fingers bunched up my T-shirt, slowly dragging it up my back without trying to take it off. And eventually she raised her legs around my hips, crossing her ankles behind me and yanking inward, helping me force my way through her extremely tight tunnel.
"Oh, God, Ben!" Paige moaned right into my ear before licking the lobe. "Deeper ... deeper..."
"Ughhhh..." I groaned, pushing with desperate urgency. At last, I felt my pelvic bone mash up against hers and I collapsed onto her petite body, panting for oxygen after realizing that I'd been holding my breath.
"Mmm ... So good inside me..." Paige moaned.
Those would be the last coherent words either of us spoke until the very, very end. Like I said, 'thinking' wasn't a big part of what we were doing. And all we could muster from that point on were the grunts and groans of two young people fucking in the middle of the night.
"Gahhh ... Nnggaaahh..." Paige groaned as I started pumping in and out of her tight snatch. Her voice was breathy as she let her head fall back and let the rest of her body relax. She wasn't quite a limp fish beneath me, but she was certainly content to let me do most of the fucking work.
"Unnnghh ... Hhuunnghhh..." I grunted with the exertion of thrusting myself through her clenching cunt, feeling her vaginal walls resisting me on the way in and then gripping me on the way out.
"Mmm ... hmmm..." Paige moaned as she moved her lips to my shoulder, tugging my T-shirt away from my neck and nibbling on the flesh she'd exposed while clutching my back as if her life depended on it.
"Ohhh ... Nnnghhooo..." I groaned as I felt her clamping her pussy around me even more, trying to match my rhythm by loosening to allow my entry and then holding me tightly as I withdrew. My hands scooped beneath her shoulder blades and held her still while I levered my torso up with my elbows so I wouldn't keep crushing her.
"Ugghhh..." Paige groaned when I changed the motion, keeping my dick fully embedded inside her and gyrating my hips to carve my meat pole along the walls of her cunt to slowly stretch her out while also setting off all her inner nerves. But that only lasted for a minute or two before her heels tug into my ass and she jerked down on my shoulders, collapsing my chest onto hers once again. She then began to undulate her hips, fucking back at me to get the in and out motion she so desperately craved.
"Oh, fffuhhh..." I began, unable to complete the word as I gave myself over to the ecstasy. I'd been trying to watch her face, to show Paige the love and care I felt for her with my eyes. But now I just let my forehead burrow against the pillow and closed my eyes as I concentrated on driving myself through her tight pussy, feeling the exquisite pleasure shooting up my dick.
Our fucking had all been instinct. Neither of us really thought about what we were doing. This close to 3am, neither of us was really awake enough to think, period. And now our instincts driving us to find the ultimate pleasure were driving us to fuck harder and faster and deeper than before. Paige repeatedly flexed her legs, pulling her ass off the mattress and fucking herself against my invading prick as if I were a stationary sex apparatus. I kept my eyes closed and my head down as I rammed myself rhythmically, feeling like I was on one of those rowing machines in reverse as I drove my entire body forward forcefully before retreating back to do it again. And soon we were racing to our climaxes.
Thankfully, Paige beat me to it. I wasn't thinking clearly but I would have regretted it if I somehow finished before her. Her petite body was dwarfed beneath me, but she was fucking back at me just as hard as I was fucking her. Careless for the jostling the baby in her belly had to be feeling, she flung her hips at me with abandon and started wailing out as her orgasm approached. "AAHHH! AAHHH! AAHHH!!!"
"UNGH! UNGH! UNGH!" I grunted right with her, fucking her so hard that tears started squeezing out from under my eyelids.
"AHH! AHH! AHH!" she chanted, her voice getting higher pitched as she sped up as well.
"UGH-UGH-UGH-UGH!" I followed right along, my hips flying as my cock pistoned in and out of her body at an uncontrollable speed.
And then she was there. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Paige screamed as the orgasm ripped through her body, an explosion of relief and pleasure that detonated deep inside her core and radiated outward until it seemed that her limbs were jerking from electric shock.
She actually threw off my rhythm when she came, jerking so violently that my cock was almost dislodged from her convulsively clenching cunt. But so close to my own orgasm, I gritted my teeth and moved my hands down to her hips, pinning them in place while I thrust frantically into her spasming snatch, desperate to cum as well.
Paige was just winding down when I finished. I gave three last herky-jerky thrusts before burying myself to the hilt inside her pussy. My cockhead banged against her cervical wall, tightly closed and sealed to prevent my entry. And then that cervical wall was bathed by hot, sticky jism as I started pouring out my frustrations, desires, and love in a seemingly endless stream of cum.
"ARRRGHHH!!!" I grunted as I came, my body jerking spastically with my cock as the epicenter. My back was arched and my hands gripped Paige's hips so tightly I nearly bruised her. But she didn't cry out against the pain. Already sated herself, she simply slid a hand beneath my T-shirt and stroked my spine soothingly, moaning pleasantly into my ear as I poured out my pleasure into her warm, willing body.
I collapsed again on top of her chest. The petite girl was barely a hundred pounds, but she supported me without complaint and kept rubbing my back while humming with deep satisfaction. Her legs were still wrapped around my waist, holding me deep inside her. And my cock slowly softened inside her now saturated pussy while the two of us cooled down from our nocturnal act.
"I love you, Ben," Paige whispered softly, clutching my shoulders even more tightly and pulling my heavy weight even more firmly onto her.
"I know," I replied and nuzzled her neck. "I love you, too."
每周推薦票狀態
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