25評論
4.13
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
This helps me forget about my exam... Temporarily. Good Job Author! By the way, I need 140 characters for this review to be posted so please ignore whatever is down here. Ajwvw auhenajwb qjsj wj Have you played Honkai Star Rail?
horrible mc, bad personality, too much of a mary sue, also the grammar sucks .... ... .. . .. . . .. ... . . . . .. .. . . ............ ....
Story could be really interesting but all the grammar errors contained in chapter 1 is a huge no from me
It's fine, somewhat, albeit with writing quality issues and cringe plot, it's still readable. Rose feels like an emo, smoking teenager more than anything else, not some alpha female like I've seen in other comments.
.....................................................................................................................................................
YOU REALLY NEED TO WORK ON YOUR WRITING. TRY USING GRAMMARLSY OR THE LIKE. ALSO, REMEMBER TO CAP THE NAMES. AND IF YOU WANTED HER TO BE OVERPOWERED, JUST GIVE HER POWERS SIMPLY. DON'T ADD TWO BROTHERS OR WHATEVER, THAT JUST MADE IT FEEL CRINGEY. I MEAN IT WOULD BE GOOD IF YOU HAVE DONE THAT NICELY. BUT LIKE THIS, IT BECAME MARY SUE. TRUST ME, I KNOW. I HAVE BEEN WRITITING MARY SUES FOR A LONG.
Writing quality - Mid Stability of updates - whole lotta Mid Story development - Peak Character design - SuperMid World background - MidTastic
I love this story and can't wait to find out who the FL is. Also dose anybody know any stories similar to this one where the protagonist is an Alpha
From what I read so far, it seem pretty good but what irritates me is the non-use of capitalization. Even if the plot is good, grammar mistakes turn me away.
Pretty decent. But I feel that this belongs in Wattpad instead of Webnovel. Wish fulfilment is the core of the story and characters act out of their comfort zone to push the story itself. Inserting some reasoning of other characters outside the franchise as the main reason of this OOC behaviour. Then put an MC more edgy and hot-blooded than any cultivation male protagonist I've seen. But it's an enjoyable read if you turn brain-dead while reading so it's decent.
The story is great so far to where I read it, but sometimes there are long paragraphs and it is hard to keep up reading a block of paragraphs like that with no commas, and there are some minors spelling errors. This is all I found up to chapter 2, I hope you improve your spelling and spacing.
I love it Trdnhfdhdfwrjgdkthfnghxhgckhgxfhrjsjtrekhtfhgcmgdkjgfrde nhgfjgrehtfjgfdmjhghkgdjgrljyfjrgekhtejtrekyrqryefhmfgyvnvffbvxjgrfnhgdluluttjhgdkutfrjgrnhfekytejgrehktdhktrmjhdjgrfnhgfvcfbvgjfdiyrrthkdjgfdkhtfnbgcyv ytfytfygdytruyfjgfjhfhgfhgfjghnhfhgjhghgcjvggjfjggjhgjhgjhfjgfjhgjhcgjxhggjgfbgcbvcbgcbggjhfhgcgjh
I love stories like this because there so rare and to find one that is so perfectly done makes me so happy that I found this story #Ruby rose X Neopolitan Because it's not used anuf and it's such a cute couple
I love this story. the grammar can be bad sometimes but its readable. Ruby in this book seems to like pushing people away. Which is fine because its not cannon ruby so obviously their not going to act the same. I just hope she changes over time. Though i do like the way she is treating Onyx the wannabe mary sue. So i guess just keep doing what you're doing and i hope this story keeps going and gets even better!
揭示劇透
I'll be honest i love these kind of stories and love how the author is going about ruby's character.I cant wait to see more! I hope to see more of this!!!
If you want an ALPHA FEMALE MC with Plot , this is the one .This Ruby is the best protag for me , she is a ruthless killer , tries to gain strength and be the top of the world and never hesitates to end the lives which is extremely rare . The best part is she never tried to be the hero , she has best goals in my opinion.
I read all of the 9 currently released chapters before making this review. I usually like RWBY fanfics but your main character and their goals feel wrong for me, but that's a matter of taste. The story itself has a good plotline with the only problems in writing being a number of reoccurring grammatical errors. Overall, a good story so far, but not for me. (°^°)7 Keep writing and you'll do well.
I love it, and I wish more writers would make stories like this more often, cause they are really good, I really enjoy the whole becoming a cannon character trope, and it’s done nice here.
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揭示劇透
loving the story so far it's actually quite intriguing but if it was me I would have asked the dark God for a gift as well as the light. Already gave you one yeah the dark God gave Ruby Soul destroying eye but I would have made it so that he gave her a Grimm form because that is a beautiful concept and we barely find any stories with it but then again that's just my opinion but good job on the story I liked it
five stars because I like it and I'm lazy. if you get tired of the 3.0 arc you can skip it. you wont miss much except penny might confuse you. if you get tired of the dxd arc you can skip it. you won't miss much context. if you get tired of anything after that you can skip it all the way upt to new RWBY. basically you can ignore everything between her opening the door and new RWBY. Though except for the dxd arc I recommend it all.
揭示劇透 This helps me forget about my exam... Temporarily. Good Job Author! By the way, I need 140 characters for this review to be posted so please ignore whatever is down here. Ajwvw auhenajwb qjsj wj Have you played Honkai Star Rail?
horrible mc, bad personality, too much of a mary sue, also the grammar sucks .... ... .. . .. . . .. ... . . . . .. .. . . ............ ....
Story could be really interesting but all the grammar errors contained in chapter 1 is a huge no from me
It's fine, somewhat, albeit with writing quality issues and cringe plot, it's still readable. Rose feels like an emo, smoking teenager more than anything else, not some alpha female like I've seen in other comments.
.....................................................................................................................................................
YOU REALLY NEED TO WORK ON YOUR WRITING. TRY USING GRAMMARLSY OR THE LIKE. ALSO, REMEMBER TO CAP THE NAMES. AND IF YOU WANTED HER TO BE OVERPOWERED, JUST GIVE HER POWERS SIMPLY. DON'T ADD TWO BROTHERS OR WHATEVER, THAT JUST MADE IT FEEL CRINGEY. I MEAN IT WOULD BE GOOD IF YOU HAVE DONE THAT NICELY. BUT LIKE THIS, IT BECAME MARY SUE. TRUST ME, I KNOW. I HAVE BEEN WRITITING MARY SUES FOR A LONG.
Writing quality - Mid Stability of updates - whole lotta Mid Story development - Peak Character design - SuperMid World background - MidTastic
I love this story and can't wait to find out who the FL is. Also dose anybody know any stories similar to this one where the protagonist is an Alpha
From what I read so far, it seem pretty good but what irritates me is the non-use of capitalization. Even if the plot is good, grammar mistakes turn me away.
Pretty decent. But I feel that this belongs in Wattpad instead of Webnovel. Wish fulfilment is the core of the story and characters act out of their comfort zone to push the story itself. Inserting some reasoning of other characters outside the franchise as the main reason of this OOC behaviour. Then put an MC more edgy and hot-blooded than any cultivation male protagonist I've seen. But it's an enjoyable read if you turn brain-dead while reading so it's decent.
The story is great so far to where I read it, but sometimes there are long paragraphs and it is hard to keep up reading a block of paragraphs like that with no commas, and there are some minors spelling errors. This is all I found up to chapter 2, I hope you improve your spelling and spacing.
I love it Trdnhfdhdfwrjgdkthfnghxhgckhgxfhrjsjtrekhtfhgcmgdkjgfrde nhgfjgrehtfjgfdmjhghkgdjgrljyfjrgekhtejtrekyrqryefhmfgyvnvffbvxjgrfnhgdluluttjhgdkutfrjgrnhfekytejgrehktdhktrmjhdjgrfnhgfvcfbvgjfdiyrrthkdjgfdkhtfnbgcyv ytfytfygdytruyfjgfjhfhgfhgfjghnhfhgjhghgcjvggjfjggjhgjhgjhfjgfjhgjhcgjxhggjgfbgcbvcbgcbggjhfhgcgjh
I love stories like this because there so rare and to find one that is so perfectly done makes me so happy that I found this story #Ruby rose X Neopolitan Because it's not used anuf and it's such a cute couple
I love this story. the grammar can be bad sometimes but its readable. Ruby in this book seems to like pushing people away. Which is fine because its not cannon ruby so obviously their not going to act the same. I just hope she changes over time. Though i do like the way she is treating Onyx the wannabe mary sue. So i guess just keep doing what you're doing and i hope this story keeps going and gets even better!
揭示劇透 I'll be honest i love these kind of stories and love how the author is going about ruby's character.I cant wait to see more! I hope to see more of this!!!
If you want an ALPHA FEMALE MC with Plot , this is the one .This Ruby is the best protag for me , she is a ruthless killer , tries to gain strength and be the top of the world and never hesitates to end the lives which is extremely rare . The best part is she never tried to be the hero , she has best goals in my opinion.
I read all of the 9 currently released chapters before making this review. I usually like RWBY fanfics but your main character and their goals feel wrong for me, but that's a matter of taste. The story itself has a good plotline with the only problems in writing being a number of reoccurring grammatical errors. Overall, a good story so far, but not for me. (°^°)7 Keep writing and you'll do well.
I love it, and I wish more writers would make stories like this more often, cause they are really good, I really enjoy the whole becoming a cannon character trope, and it’s done nice here.
Izjjdjdjzjzjjxjzjxjxjxjjdjzjsnxnxjzjdjsjjdjdjxjxjjxjxjxjxhhxjxjxjxjjxjxhxjxjxjjxjxjxjxjjxjxjzjjxjxjxjxjjxjxjxjjxjxjxjxjjxjxjxjxjxjjxjxjxjjxufudhdydhcjfjfuofjfufjdihdgidigdigdihdohdkhdkhdohffljdkhfkhdhldkhckhchkclhclxhhocnlclhclfhflfofohcocohcohxoh
揭示劇透 loving the story so far it's actually quite intriguing but if it was me I would have asked the dark God for a gift as well as the light. Already gave you one yeah the dark God gave Ruby Soul destroying eye but I would have made it so that he gave her a Grimm form because that is a beautiful concept and we barely find any stories with it but then again that's just my opinion but good job on the story I liked it
five stars because I like it and I'm lazy. if you get tired of the 3.0 arc you can skip it. you wont miss much except penny might confuse you. if you get tired of the dxd arc you can skip it. you won't miss much context. if you get tired of anything after that you can skip it all the way upt to new RWBY. basically you can ignore everything between her opening the door and new RWBY. Though except for the dxd arc I recommend it all.
揭示劇透