38評論
4.74
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- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
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寫檢討
Heart gripping, mind stealing, attention grabbing story. It’s so well written. An intriguing plot with good characters that keeps the readers wanting more. A good start. Anticipating more.
TIn this enthralling tale of redemption and self-discovery, author [author`s name] skillfully blends elements of mystery, drama, and fantasy to create a thought-provoking narrative that will keep readers hooked until the very end.the author deftly explores themes of identity, betrayal, and the power of choice, forcing readers to question the nature of reality and the fragility of perception.Alena's character is skillfully developed throughout the story.The author's ability to blend genres adds an exciting element to the narrative, keeping readers guessing and eagerly turning the pages.At times, the story feels slightly rushed, with certain plot points and character motivations lacking the depth they deserve.Despite these tale that seamlessly combines mystery, drama, and fantasy.It explores the profound impact of truth, perception, and memory on one's sense of self.
This book is really interestiing, I'm looking forward to how elena and the system is going to bond tho, are they going to rrust each other or one might betray the other, but all in all the book is amazing, exce[t for a few errors here and there.
This story has me hooked, like I couldn’t stop reading the moment I started it. The betrayal is real and I felt it through my soul. I recomand reading this story !
It's full of potential, the plot about revenge is always good especially when it's rooted in jealousy hehe. I would suggest that the MC's feeling be explained clearer to add more tension to the story.
Truly a good book, the prologue was Enough to capture my attention, i cant wait for more chapters[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
So for clarification, the stars are just an encouragement. Now about the story. It has potential, but it’s done very poorly. It’s quite obvious that you don’t have much experience. Frankly speaking, I had a feeling that you had some simple idea in your mind, simply sat down and started writing. So yeah… There will be a lot here to unpack. Let's start from the beginning. I think Prologue 1 is pointless. Prologue 2 does a better job at starting the novel, and makes Prologue 1 completely pointless. Don’t take me wrong, it's still a bad start. Why is it bad? To answer this question we should go to the basic of writing. Disclaimer, I’m going ignore prologue 1, because it’s, to me, completely pointless, and pretend you are starting with prologue 2. A few things you need from a good start are: 1. a hook, to keep your readers reading. 2. premise of the story – what it will be about. 3. introduction to your main character. 4. introduction of the setting. What do you have? You have a hook. The story starts with a character (the protagonist in pain). It’s good enough because the readers will instinctively want to know what happened. I’m not sure if you have a premise, because I get horror vibes from this, but it's apparently a romance. What is it? You need to be clear here. You can’t deceive your readers. You kinda introduce your character, but also kinda not. She is just there, like a plastic doll thrown on a bed. I untangle this one a bit more later. Then we have the setting. You also kinda have it, but kinda not. I got the vibe that it’s a real-like world, but then we have a super-blood, but it’s kinda not that super, so It makes me feel like supernatural things are rare, but they do happen around the world. So overall you could add thing up, and say the start is passable, but it’s actually not. Why? I’ll explain. So the character is in pain, can’t really see, opens her eyes, and notices she is in some kind of lab. You don’t really describe the lab. You are the director, actors, scenograph, makeup artist, and everything else of your novel. Set up a scene. Throw characters, and let them play. You didn’t. You are vaguely describing the objects around her, but that's it. Where is the smell? Where is the sound? If you don’t know how to craft a good description, here is a quick guide to a passable one. Describe things as you take them in yourself. We rely on sight most, so start with light. Go from general to specific. Then add sound/smell and other stuff. Obviously, depending on what you need, you can mix those things. This is just a piece of general advice. After that we have your character trying to remember what happened. Why? If I woke up in an unknown laboratory, the first thing I would do is start asking questions. I would check if I can get up, and depending on the reaction from the environment – other people, I would run or stay. Then the complitely-out-of-place-looking boyfriend enters the scene. By that, I mean a dude in a black suit among people in lab coats/hospital attire. He would be stuck out as a sore thumb. Why didn’t she, or us – the readers – notice him earlier? He should be in the description. Now it looks like you are materializing characters out of nothing. She hears his voice and recognizes it, but for some reason does nothing about it. Why not call his name? Why not ask for answers? If she can speak, this should be her immediate reaction. You make her look like a plastic doll, not a human, because she behaves unrealistically. Then the doctor starts talking about experiments and stuff. If I heard it I would be already half a mile away from that place, sprinting for my life. She does nothing. I could pick up on that stuff, more, tu there is a character limit in the review, so I’ll move to more general stuff. You need to make your characters believable. They need to behave humanely! You have doctors interested in a girl performing horrible experiments on her for apparently no reason. What is their goal? Why is the girl not under anesthesia? She should be knocked out, and if she is not, there needs to be a reason for that. Give a reason for their actions, or make them more reasonable. If she has to suffer, explain why. Maybe one nurse would ask a question, and the doctor would explain? Maybe an argument between them, because the doctor is just a sociopath who wants to make her suffer. Make your own explanation, but you need one. Even more general stuff. You tell a lot without showing much, at least in the first 4 chapters. The fifth is a bit better about this. I’ll give you an example. Quote: She has a faint guess already but still was tightly clutching on the last ray of hope so that everything is not true. She hopes that it’s all misunderstanding. Her body was trembling by now. She could only gaze at his lover in the hope that he will pull her into his embrace just like before. Just as she was thinking” So why not like this: „The dark thoughts were already hunting her mind, but she desperately held to the last ray of hope – that this all was just a misunderstanding. A lie. She reached with her trambling, cold hand towards him, but he didn’t respond. There was only his cold gaze, focused on her as if she was an object, not a person.” See the difference? People are doing things. Reacting. Now another thing. In the quite I presented, and in the rest of your story, you do a lot of grammatical mistakes. You misspell, mix times (past and present, especially in your narration), and repeat a lot of words – a rule of thumb is 6 lines of text before repeating something. Even if it’s a character name. Use some software to check for this stuff. I use Grammarly. It's free. So yeah… I hope this helps.
揭示劇透
can't wait for author to update more of this book it's really a good one and deserves to be tried by revenge lovers ❤️
Very good! I love how the set up is made and the author shows how evil the enemies are and how much they deserve what's coming for them. The plot is interesting and I want to know who her real family is!
the first few chapters definitely show a lot of emotion, and dives the reader in quickly. It doesn't take too long, even though it has a prologue. Good job author!
These first chapters have managed to move me, I will continue to follow it the story is very intriguing. I hope new chapters will come soon.
Love it! Though the general theme is a bit generic with the revenge-new-life-become-a-better-self, it was still a fun read! There were a few grammar and structural mistakes scattered throughout the chapters; however, they weren’t detrimental to the story's overall flow. I like the pacing and how the narration of the scenes was written—it flowed quite smoothly. Keep it up, author!
Good story! If you want to read a well-written second chance story with enough mystery, this is for you!
A fabulous book. It is intense at places and amazing the way it progresses. I am hooked on to it and hope the writer would increase the update stability to atleast 2 times a week.
A well thought out story that was executed perfectly. I was seriously hooked from the first chapter. The betrayal of her family, lover, her sister, and the revelation, everything sent goosebumps down my spine. Can't wait to read more. This book should get more attention.
Wonderful book and great storyline god job author continue to write as it is still short but it is quite entertaining looking forward for more.
Everything about this novel is incredible. The author has a way to paint vivid images in the reader's mind. The psychological tolls on the MC, the revenge we all await, it's great. The only thing I would add as a suggestion would be to fix some grammatical errors. HIGHLY RECOMMEND!
Dope/awesome novel. The pain can be felt through the story. Developing of the story was just awesome. Overall, a great novel, it could be better, but I do want to see more of this.
The novel itself has great potential . From the start to the current chapter I couldn't stop reading for even a second. The story development is dhope and nice although at first I was confused and didn't understand it. however as I continued reading, the only thing that crept inside me was an addiction to read more . highly recommended to everyone. well-done author.
Walking into this story, I had no idea what to expect. I did find myself intrigued with the plot line. Since I went in as a blind reader, I did find the seeds for her traitorous sister. That moment didn't surprise me, but I do view the execution of it as a positive one. Although not many of the characters are really explored just yet, I have the sense that her sister or perhaps her former lover are being set up to be the main antagonist. I am in the right mind to think that they are going to work as a group to oppose her. Overall, this story is shaping up to be something interesting. I can't wait to see how the author begins world building somce these early chapters lack much depth in that regard. Character and world building are probably two greatest concerns for this story in my mind. Crafting a memorable character is just as important in a quality story.
揭示劇透
I must say, I can't wait to see the what the writer will come out with next. I thoroughly enjoyed delving into the pages of this literary work. The author's choice of words and sentence structure truly captivated me, leaving me in awe of their writing prowess. I am already anticipating the release of their next piece and eagerly looking forward to following their literary journey.
Writing quality is good so far. I didn't see any clutch words being used. The writer did a great job garnering sympathy from the readers. And I kinda want to see the "experiment on human" plot point being one of the key points of ending of that jerk Mo. And great healing abilities of Mc blood. I want to see every villains mask getting torn too. Otherwise it's similar trope to other modern rebirth c-novels. And we love this trope so 🤷♀️. The world background is quite simple with a pinch of mystery and supernatural elements. (of course due to healing and rebirth abilities.) You are doing great author.
I love the story. The development of the story was great. I am so captivated by the storyline stirring me up finish. Nicely done indeed and I expect more!
Quite a great story. The book drags you in and hooks you to read more. It is awesome in writing and has a great plot. Excellent job. Keep writing. We want more!
The beginning of the article is fascinating and attracts readers The combination of plot and character image is just right, which makes the article vivid.
Although revenge plots are quite basic and narrow, if it's done right, then it actually intrigues the reader and keeps them interested. For example, this book.
The first chapter was a great start to the novel, and it kept on going like that. You introduced the characters in a great way and made them very interesting to read. Recommend this to anyone who likes to read revenge novels. (myself)
an amazing book about revenge and betrayal. first chapters are written so well, you can actually feel the pain she feels. amazinh job author, can't wait for new updates 😁❤
Amazing book filled with interesting twist and plot. I was engrossed from the first chapter. The characters are well portrayed and the story is well written. Keep on with it, author!
Heart gripping, mind stealing, attention grabbing story. It’s so well written. An intriguing plot with good characters that keeps the readers wanting more. A good start. Anticipating more.
TIn this enthralling tale of redemption and self-discovery, author [author`s name] skillfully blends elements of mystery, drama, and fantasy to create a thought-provoking narrative that will keep readers hooked until the very end.the author deftly explores themes of identity, betrayal, and the power of choice, forcing readers to question the nature of reality and the fragility of perception.Alena's character is skillfully developed throughout the story.The author's ability to blend genres adds an exciting element to the narrative, keeping readers guessing and eagerly turning the pages.At times, the story feels slightly rushed, with certain plot points and character motivations lacking the depth they deserve.Despite these tale that seamlessly combines mystery, drama, and fantasy.It explores the profound impact of truth, perception, and memory on one's sense of self.
This book is really interestiing, I'm looking forward to how elena and the system is going to bond tho, are they going to rrust each other or one might betray the other, but all in all the book is amazing, exce[t for a few errors here and there.
This story has me hooked, like I couldn’t stop reading the moment I started it. The betrayal is real and I felt it through my soul. I recomand reading this story !
It's full of potential, the plot about revenge is always good especially when it's rooted in jealousy hehe. I would suggest that the MC's feeling be explained clearer to add more tension to the story.
Truly a good book, the prologue was Enough to capture my attention, i cant wait for more chapters[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
So for clarification, the stars are just an encouragement. Now about the story. It has potential, but it’s done very poorly. It’s quite obvious that you don’t have much experience. Frankly speaking, I had a feeling that you had some simple idea in your mind, simply sat down and started writing. So yeah… There will be a lot here to unpack. Let's start from the beginning. I think Prologue 1 is pointless. Prologue 2 does a better job at starting the novel, and makes Prologue 1 completely pointless. Don’t take me wrong, it's still a bad start. Why is it bad? To answer this question we should go to the basic of writing. Disclaimer, I’m going ignore prologue 1, because it’s, to me, completely pointless, and pretend you are starting with prologue 2. A few things you need from a good start are: 1. a hook, to keep your readers reading. 2. premise of the story – what it will be about. 3. introduction to your main character. 4. introduction of the setting. What do you have? You have a hook. The story starts with a character (the protagonist in pain). It’s good enough because the readers will instinctively want to know what happened. I’m not sure if you have a premise, because I get horror vibes from this, but it's apparently a romance. What is it? You need to be clear here. You can’t deceive your readers. You kinda introduce your character, but also kinda not. She is just there, like a plastic doll thrown on a bed. I untangle this one a bit more later. Then we have the setting. You also kinda have it, but kinda not. I got the vibe that it’s a real-like world, but then we have a super-blood, but it’s kinda not that super, so It makes me feel like supernatural things are rare, but they do happen around the world. So overall you could add thing up, and say the start is passable, but it’s actually not. Why? I’ll explain. So the character is in pain, can’t really see, opens her eyes, and notices she is in some kind of lab. You don’t really describe the lab. You are the director, actors, scenograph, makeup artist, and everything else of your novel. Set up a scene. Throw characters, and let them play. You didn’t. You are vaguely describing the objects around her, but that's it. Where is the smell? Where is the sound? If you don’t know how to craft a good description, here is a quick guide to a passable one. Describe things as you take them in yourself. We rely on sight most, so start with light. Go from general to specific. Then add sound/smell and other stuff. Obviously, depending on what you need, you can mix those things. This is just a piece of general advice. After that we have your character trying to remember what happened. Why? If I woke up in an unknown laboratory, the first thing I would do is start asking questions. I would check if I can get up, and depending on the reaction from the environment – other people, I would run or stay. Then the complitely-out-of-place-looking boyfriend enters the scene. By that, I mean a dude in a black suit among people in lab coats/hospital attire. He would be stuck out as a sore thumb. Why didn’t she, or us – the readers – notice him earlier? He should be in the description. Now it looks like you are materializing characters out of nothing. She hears his voice and recognizes it, but for some reason does nothing about it. Why not call his name? Why not ask for answers? If she can speak, this should be her immediate reaction. You make her look like a plastic doll, not a human, because she behaves unrealistically. Then the doctor starts talking about experiments and stuff. If I heard it I would be already half a mile away from that place, sprinting for my life. She does nothing. I could pick up on that stuff, more, tu there is a character limit in the review, so I’ll move to more general stuff. You need to make your characters believable. They need to behave humanely! You have doctors interested in a girl performing horrible experiments on her for apparently no reason. What is their goal? Why is the girl not under anesthesia? She should be knocked out, and if she is not, there needs to be a reason for that. Give a reason for their actions, or make them more reasonable. If she has to suffer, explain why. Maybe one nurse would ask a question, and the doctor would explain? Maybe an argument between them, because the doctor is just a sociopath who wants to make her suffer. Make your own explanation, but you need one. Even more general stuff. You tell a lot without showing much, at least in the first 4 chapters. The fifth is a bit better about this. I’ll give you an example. Quote: She has a faint guess already but still was tightly clutching on the last ray of hope so that everything is not true. She hopes that it’s all misunderstanding. Her body was trembling by now. She could only gaze at his lover in the hope that he will pull her into his embrace just like before. Just as she was thinking” So why not like this: „The dark thoughts were already hunting her mind, but she desperately held to the last ray of hope – that this all was just a misunderstanding. A lie. She reached with her trambling, cold hand towards him, but he didn’t respond. There was only his cold gaze, focused on her as if she was an object, not a person.” See the difference? People are doing things. Reacting. Now another thing. In the quite I presented, and in the rest of your story, you do a lot of grammatical mistakes. You misspell, mix times (past and present, especially in your narration), and repeat a lot of words – a rule of thumb is 6 lines of text before repeating something. Even if it’s a character name. Use some software to check for this stuff. I use Grammarly. It's free. So yeah… I hope this helps.
揭示劇透 can't wait for author to update more of this book it's really a good one and deserves to be tried by revenge lovers ❤️
Very good! I love how the set up is made and the author shows how evil the enemies are and how much they deserve what's coming for them. The plot is interesting and I want to know who her real family is!
the first few chapters definitely show a lot of emotion, and dives the reader in quickly. It doesn't take too long, even though it has a prologue. Good job author!
These first chapters have managed to move me, I will continue to follow it the story is very intriguing. I hope new chapters will come soon.
Love it! Though the general theme is a bit generic with the revenge-new-life-become-a-better-self, it was still a fun read! There were a few grammar and structural mistakes scattered throughout the chapters; however, they weren’t detrimental to the story's overall flow. I like the pacing and how the narration of the scenes was written—it flowed quite smoothly. Keep it up, author!
Good story! If you want to read a well-written second chance story with enough mystery, this is for you!
A fabulous book. It is intense at places and amazing the way it progresses. I am hooked on to it and hope the writer would increase the update stability to atleast 2 times a week.
A well thought out story that was executed perfectly. I was seriously hooked from the first chapter. The betrayal of her family, lover, her sister, and the revelation, everything sent goosebumps down my spine. Can't wait to read more. This book should get more attention.
Wonderful book and great storyline god job author continue to write as it is still short but it is quite entertaining looking forward for more.
Everything about this novel is incredible. The author has a way to paint vivid images in the reader's mind. The psychological tolls on the MC, the revenge we all await, it's great. The only thing I would add as a suggestion would be to fix some grammatical errors. HIGHLY RECOMMEND!
Dope/awesome novel. The pain can be felt through the story. Developing of the story was just awesome. Overall, a great novel, it could be better, but I do want to see more of this.
The novel itself has great potential . From the start to the current chapter I couldn't stop reading for even a second. The story development is dhope and nice although at first I was confused and didn't understand it. however as I continued reading, the only thing that crept inside me was an addiction to read more . highly recommended to everyone. well-done author.
Walking into this story, I had no idea what to expect. I did find myself intrigued with the plot line. Since I went in as a blind reader, I did find the seeds for her traitorous sister. That moment didn't surprise me, but I do view the execution of it as a positive one. Although not many of the characters are really explored just yet, I have the sense that her sister or perhaps her former lover are being set up to be the main antagonist. I am in the right mind to think that they are going to work as a group to oppose her. Overall, this story is shaping up to be something interesting. I can't wait to see how the author begins world building somce these early chapters lack much depth in that regard. Character and world building are probably two greatest concerns for this story in my mind. Crafting a memorable character is just as important in a quality story.
揭示劇透 I must say, I can't wait to see the what the writer will come out with next. I thoroughly enjoyed delving into the pages of this literary work. The author's choice of words and sentence structure truly captivated me, leaving me in awe of their writing prowess. I am already anticipating the release of their next piece and eagerly looking forward to following their literary journey.
Writing quality is good so far. I didn't see any clutch words being used. The writer did a great job garnering sympathy from the readers. And I kinda want to see the "experiment on human" plot point being one of the key points of ending of that jerk Mo. And great healing abilities of Mc blood. I want to see every villains mask getting torn too. Otherwise it's similar trope to other modern rebirth c-novels. And we love this trope so 🤷♀️. The world background is quite simple with a pinch of mystery and supernatural elements. (of course due to healing and rebirth abilities.) You are doing great author.
I love the story. The development of the story was great. I am so captivated by the storyline stirring me up finish. Nicely done indeed and I expect more!
Quite a great story. The book drags you in and hooks you to read more. It is awesome in writing and has a great plot. Excellent job. Keep writing. We want more!
The beginning of the article is fascinating and attracts readers The combination of plot and character image is just right, which makes the article vivid.
Although revenge plots are quite basic and narrow, if it's done right, then it actually intrigues the reader and keeps them interested. For example, this book.
The first chapter was a great start to the novel, and it kept on going like that. You introduced the characters in a great way and made them very interesting to read. Recommend this to anyone who likes to read revenge novels. (myself)
an amazing book about revenge and betrayal. first chapters are written so well, you can actually feel the pain she feels. amazinh job author, can't wait for new updates 😁❤
Amazing book filled with interesting twist and plot. I was engrossed from the first chapter. The characters are well portrayed and the story is well written. Keep on with it, author!