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Ben
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What was I going to do? What the hell was I going to do? Ryan had invited himself to sleepover at Ocean and Kai's place and I couldn't tell him no. I couldn't tell him that I was still too scared and worried about everything to spend time alone with him.
I know that he only invited himself so that we could talk without prying ears and all that, or at least I hope that was why. Still, I didn't know what to say to him, what to think about him.
Dinner had been great, really. It had been perfect and allowed us to get to the point where we were talking to each other again. The problem was that I hadn't been able to open up to him or talk about anything that really mattered. In truth, this 'date' that he was saying we were having was no different than the times that we hung out as 'just friends' with the guys. Aside from the fact that Ryan kept holding my hand nothing was different.