章節 4: Bitches be Ed
It was nighttime and the Eds and Eric had gone to bed in their dorm rooms. The dorm complex that the Eds and Eric stayed at wasn't the biggest, nor was it the smallest. The reason they stayed there was because as transfer students, it was assigned to them. The room had 4 bed rooms in the corners of the complex, with their own bathrooms. In the middle of the rooms, was a kitchen area in the form of 3/4 of a square, a table for eating, a sofa, a tea table in front of it, and a TV. And there was a door at the end of the middle area which led to a small ledge, looking outside of the building.
In one of these rooms was Eric, sleeping in his bed while wearing an orange shirt and underwear. He moaned as he dreamed. "I'm the pizza king," he said.
He then rolled on his left side and smiling, while also getting his face close to a smelly armpit that had flies flying all around it.
A second later, he sniffed the armpit, causing his eyes to snap wide open. The armpit turned out to be Ed's.
Startled and disgusted, Eric screamed and pushed himself away from him as quickly as possible, before ending up falling out of his bed. He groaned in pain and rubbed the back of his head, as Ed looked at him.
After getting up off the floor, Eric's closed eyes opened to look at his dumb friend. "Ed! What are you doing in my bed?!" He exclaimed.
"I can't sleep, Eric," he told him. "I keep thinking; how can words be deep if they can't dig holes?"
Eric took a long pause to find out what Ed was talking about. But then a realization hits him and caused a groan to come out. "Oh, not this again," he complained.
He then grabbed Ed's arm and pulled him out of the bed. "Let's go, Ed." Eric then started pushing Ed out of the room and into the living room.
"Eric, why don't birds just take a bus south for the winter," Ed asked.
"They don't have money for the bus," Eric answered, annoyed and tired. He lets the Ed roam freely in the dorm, letting him do whatever he wants. Just then, the doors to Eddy and Double D's rooms opened and the two remaining Eds walked out.
"What's going on, I'm trying to sleep," Double D said, rubbing his eyes.
"Ed's curious again," Eric simply said. The two of them understood what he meant, as Ed was like this with Eddy back in their adventure that the fractured-eye boy called 'One + One= ED'.
"Oh, come on!" Eddy complained, before letting out a yawn. "Alright, whose turn is it?"
They thought for a moment. He was talking about their system for dealing with Ed when he starts getting curious at night, just to make sure he doesn't wake the others up or wander out of the dorm. One person who stays up with the big Ed-boy, while the others sleep, and then the next time someone else would do it.
Double D and Eddy turned their head to look at Eric. Realizing that they were staring at him, it hits him that it was his turn. With a sigh, he said, "Okay, I'll look after him."
"Alright then," the smart Ed-boy said, before he and Eddy went back to their rooms and closed their doors behind them. Eric let out a heavy breath of exhaustion and sat down on the sofa, knowing that he could kiss his Goodnight sleep goodbye. Maybe he could fall asleep without Ed noticing. The door was locked, so he wasn't going to get out.
But that wasn't likely to happen, as Ed started opening and closing the refrigerator door. This caused the light of it to turn on and off with it. Shining on Eric's face, preventing any chase of closing his eyes.
"Eric," Ed said, "when you close the fridge door, does the little light stay on?"
"Go to sleep, Ed," he groaned, but his words fell deaf to his stupid friend, who continued to open and close the refrigerator.
"Hello light...Hello light...Hello light...Hello light...Hello light..."
'Good Grief. Im getting so sick and tired of Ed and his moments of the month or day or week. Whatever time it is, one thing is for certain. I'm not going to get some sleep tonight.'
00000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000
Cue Seishun Satsubatsuron by 3-nen E-gumi Utatan)
{Intrumental}
{Seishun... Satsubatsuron!}
(The opening starts with the crescent moon as it gradually change to Korosensei's head. Then Ed, Double D, Eddy and Eric appeared upside down with their names shown as they fall and tried to attack Korosensei as he panicked before dust picks up around them as the title appeared.)
Welcome Back, Mr. ED!
{Kuchi ni dasu no wa jikkō suru toki}
{Sore ga kakkoī koto shitteru sa}
(The scene start with Eric waking up in bed as he gets up and gets ready for school. As he walk out of his room, Eddy and Double D were at the living room while the latter was preparing breakfast. He look around only to see that Ed's not up yet so he went to his room to wake him up, only to find that he was not here and saw his window was open.)
{TARGET, sagashite bokura wa satsubatsu}
{Omoi wa mayou mayoedo susumu}
{Migite to migiashi issho ni de sōda}
(Eric panicked and ran out of his room to tell Eddy and Double D that Ed's gone. Eddy groaned in frustration while Double D worried about him, Eric ran back in to his room and came out with his uniform on and a toothbrush in his mouth. Double D quickly pack small breakfast along with their lunches before they head out to find Ed.)
{Nan nanda iraira no hadō wa}
{Bokura no sonzai no shōmei?}
{Tsuki wo miagetakamaru}
{Sā sā! Satsu satsu sattō START!}
(Scene changes to Eric opens a fridge of their neighbor's house and found Ed sleeping in his underwear and half eaten food. Eddy laughed while Eric took Ed out of the fridge and slaps him back and forth to wake him up. Double D look at the time and finds that they are going to be late for school, Eric and Double D panicked while Eddy groaned as Ed woke up from Eric's slapping before he was pulled by Eric and ran out the door along with Eddy and Double D.)
{Yari kittenaikara yarikirenai}
{Yari kittenaikara yarikirenai}
{Genjō daha wo chīsana koe de yagate zekkyō shitaku naru}
(The Eds and Eric, with Ed now in his uniform, rushing to the train station but they missed the train. As Eric and Double D mope in depression, Eddy yelled at Ed before he had an idea as he grabbed Ed the the other two. They're now at a park as they sitting in a box with a tree that is cartoonishly pulled down like rubber below them while Ed was holding the tree down by sinking his teeth in another tree. Double D was calculating their trajectory while Eddy was getting impatient and Eric was starting to regret it. Double D conclude that they would land in the field behind the building but isn't sure about it. Eddy isn't surprised as he signals Ed to let go as they're launch in the air heading to towards school.)
{Yari kittenaikara yarikirenai (Yareba dekiru sa)}
{Yari kittenaikara yarikirenai (Kitto dekiru sa)}
(Eddy, Double D and Eric screamed while Ed laugh as they flew through the sky. Then Eric saw Korosensei flying by as he pulled out his anti-sensei knife and tries to kill him but no avail as Korosensei sped up ahead of them.)
{Dōse, to iu no wa kantandakedo}
{Ima wa agaite mitainda kimi to hajikete mitainda}
(Meanwhile in E-Class, Yada was sitting by her desk and glance at Eric's desk in front of her as class was about to start. Korosensei arrives through the window and begun roll call, Yada asked him if he seen the Eds and Eric this morning making Rio teased her about it as she blushed in embarrassment. Korosensei answers as the Eds and Eric crashed through the roof and landed in the floor next to Korosensei, surprising the students.)
{Saredo seishun wa mirai he GO!}
{Sā sā sā! Seishun satsubatsuron!}
(Ed recoiled from the floor as he pulled the other three out with him as the class aside from Korosensei look at them with white eyes and jaws dropped. Korosensei tells them to take their seats as Ed lets go of them and went to their designated desk thus begins class.)
0000000000000000000000
EDventure #4- "Bitches be Ed"
The next day came, and the Eds and Eric were in their classroom.
After having gotten no sleep last night and having to listen to Ed's questions, Eric was beyond tired. He was at his desk, with his face lying flat on the surface. His loud snoring caught the attention of the other students who were seated around him. They looked at him with confusion, as he drooled in his sleep. "So why is he sleeping," asked Yada.
"I'm afraid Ed kept our friend up all night," Double D answered, having gotten plenty of sleep.
Eric let out two loud snorts as his body tensed up, before calming down and sighed with a smile. "...Sleepy. Sleepy. Sleepy..."
"What was Ed possible doing to keep him up all night," Kimura asked.
This question, along with the others talking around, woke Eric up. It was annoying. Here he was trying to catch a few minutes of sleep before Korosensei arrived, and here they were talking over his head. He lifted his head and gave Kimura an exhausted look. "Really? You do realize that you're talking about Ed," he groaned.
They looked at Ed, who had on his usual smile. He looked at them as they stared at him. "Y'up, it's me alright," he said.
Afterward, they turned back to Eric and Double D, having gotten a better understanding. "...Good point," Kimura said before the classroom door opened. Stepping into the room came Karasuma, followed by Korosensei, wearing his 'human' disguise: a fake wig, fake nose, and turning his skin color to the same as a person's.
However, to their surprise, another person walked into the room. This person was a tall, beautiful young woman with fair skin, light blue eyes, and wavy blond hair. Her body was curvy and with an ample bust, she had a very sensual body.
And what was even more surprising was that she was hugging his arm like she was in love!
"Okay, look alive, people," Karasuma ordered the students after he and the two stopped and face them. But it wasn't like the kids weren't paying attention that much, as all of their eyes were glued to the blond woman. "Allow me to introduce you to the newest member the E-Class student-faculty."
"My name is Irina Jelavić," she said in joyfully. "Nice to meet you all!"
Eddy looked at her with a grin. "Bow Chicka Bow Wow," he said, staring at her body.
Double D was a little surprised by the appearance of Irina, but also blushed and sweated nervously. "Oh, my."
Ed thought for a moment before saying, "Hello!"
Eric looked at her a little shocked and disturbed, as Korosensei took off his 'human' disguise. However, instead of being surprised and screaming like any normal person, Irina continued to praise and adore him. "What the hell is going on," he asked.
"I know," Yada said. "Why is she clinging to him like that?"
Karasuma then said to Korosensei, "We decided to bring on Miss Jelavić in the interest of beefing up the English curriculum. No hard feeling, I hope. She eh, very qualified."
"No harm in that, is there?" Korosensei responded.
Kayano whispered to Nagisa, "She totally has a thing for Korosensei. I mean, she seems nice, so I guess it's kind of cute, right?"
"You call this 'cute?'" Eddy looked at her like she was crazy. "I call it a barf show!"
Nagisa in agreeance, with both of them, before pulling out his notebook. "True, but there might be something we could use to kill him too," he told them, hearing them Double D and Eric. The group of friends, minus Ed, stared at the yellow being, as Korosensei turned his head to look down at the woman. Watching to see what he would do.
'Just like us, for more or less, our teacher seemed thrown off by the attention she was giving him. Is it because she's human, or because she's a woman? After a few weeks with him, we knew that our best bet of knowing what his mood was is by his body color changing based on that mood. So what does she make him feel?'
After a few seconds, Korosensei's face turned pink, with two circle blushes, and his smile grew wider. The face could only be identified as one thing: lovesickness.
"Well, that's rather straight forward," Double D said.
"He's all about her," Isogai said.
"Yeah," Kayano said, "no mistaking that face."
'So he's into humans, too. Not to mention blushes like one too.'
Korosensei's weakness #5: Boobs
Miss Jelavić letting out a dreamy sigh as she looked at the teacher. "The more I look at you, the more I'm drawn in," she said, pressing her body close to Korosensei. "Your beady eyes, like two diarrhea pills... Your strange, floppy limbs... Why, you're positively captivating!"
"How embarrassing!" Korosensei said, laughing nervously, while most of his students glared at him with soulless eyes.
'Don't fall for it! She's trouble!' Okano exclaimed in her head.
'No woman in her right mind would be into you!' Rio exclaimed in her head.
"Wow," Eddy said with an amused smile, "if she wasn't acting, I'd say the babe's got a few screws loose."
'Eddy was right, and we weren't dense, either. Korosensei might be a sucker for those looks, but we knew that any teacher who would join us under the bullshit circumstances we were in probably has more to them than meets the eye.'
0000000000000000000000
When P.E. class came around, Korosensei brought the students out onto the sports field to play a game that, surprisingly Ed came up with...to a degree. In his words, he wanted to have a fun time, so Double D thought up a game that would involve trying to kill Korosensei. Called "Kill Ball", the goal was to kick a soccer few soccer balls at the teacher, before the kicker tries to kill him. Seeing that it was an assassination attempt, Eric put it down as an attempt in the Master Plan.
From a window in the building, Irina Jelavić watched them. Karasuma then went over and joined her. "I had all kinds of ways to approach him prepared," she told him. "I just never thought seduction would work on whatever the hell he is." She then pulled a cigarette and placed it in between her lips. Karasuma stared at her as she lit it, observing her.
'Like I said, this was no ordinary teacher.'
Karasuma: "You didn't say that."
'Hey! Who's telling the story?!'
'So yeah, this was Irina Jelavić, professional assassination. Beautiful, intelligent (Ha ha!), athletic, and fluent in ten languages. She can bewitch targets from anywhere in the world, and eliminate even the most heavily guarded marks from point-blank range with ease. If you want to be the best at infiltration and approach, she's your gal."
"As good as you are," Karasuma told her, as she began walking behind him and down the hall, "we can't just hire an assassin to work at a school. You'll also need to do some teaching for the sake of appearances."
She opened a door and stopped, before scuffing without a care. "As if I'll be here long enough," Irina said with arrogance, looking at him from the corner of her eyes. "I'm a professional. I'll finish the job before it comes to that."
She then walked away.
Outside on the field, Korosensei continued to play their game of Kill Ball. It was a fun activity that everyone was enjoying.
However, it wouldn't last. As while the Eds and Eric were spread out and not close to one another, the latter caught something out of the corner of his damaged. He looked and saw Irina Jelavić running towards them with a cheerful expression. "Oh, crap."
"Korosensei!" She called out to him, getting his and everyone else's attention, as she ran up to him. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything, darling! Mr. Karasuma tells me you're oh-so-very fast! Is that true?"
"Well, he might have exaggerated a little," he said bashfully.
As they watched the two adults be all lovey-dovey in front of them, the Eds joined up with Eric. Eddy stared with a raised eyebrow. "He can't seriously be this stupid!" He said. "She's clearly faking it."
"She's using her body and sweet talk to get close to him, Eddy," Double D explained, much to Eddy's annoyance. "As of right now, our teacher is under her seductive spell."
"I hate to ask this, but I'd love to try some real Vietnamese coffee," the woman said, looking up at him with pleading eyes and hands together. She also made sure to make her boobs even more presentable to him. "Do you think you could bring me some while I start with an English lesson?"
Korosensei's face turned pink with lovesickness. "Why, of course," He told her. "I happen to know a great café in Vietnam." The yellow being then jumped a few meters into the air, causing winds to blow into everyone, before rocketing off into the distance. Leaving the students with Irina.
They then heard the school bell ring. "Oh! Time to go to class!" Double D said with excitement, before running off. His friends, however, stayed behind and watched him leave. The smart Ed-boy stopped, walked back over, and looked at their new English teacher, who hadn't moved an inch. In fact, all the other students were staring at her too. "Er... Miss Irina? Class is starting. Shouldn't we go back in?"
"Sure, whatever," she said in a rude tone, placing another cigarette in between her lips and lighting it. "Knock yourselves out. "Just make it study hall or something, I don't care." This sudden change in attitude took most of the kids back by surprise. They were expecting for the woman to not be what she was making herself out to be, but they weren't expecting for her to be like this. She lets out a puff of smoke and looked at them. "And another thing: let's agree not to call me Miss when the octopus isn't around. And we are by no means on a first-name basis, so drop it. When he is around, call me Miss Jelavić."
Everyone was silent for the moment.
"So what are you going to do, Miss JelaBitch," Karma asked, mocking her by replacing the 'vić' part of her name with 'bitch'.
"No nicknames!" She snapped at him.
"So you're a real pro, right?" Karma crossed his arms while looking at her with his usual smug look. "The entire class together couldn't take down this monster, but you're going to kill him all by yourself? You don't mind sharing it with the rest of us?"
"Please, sweetheart," Irina responded with an egotistical expression and attitude that was an instant turn-off for any guy. "Adults have their own special ways of doing things, so take note." She then turned and looked at Nagisa. "Speaking of which, you're Nagisa Shiota, right?"
Irina walked up to him and before he and anyone could have guessed, grabbed his face and kissed him on the lips.
"WWWHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Kayano screamed in absolute shock and anger, as everyone around her stared at the two in surprise. Karma, however, looked with a mischievous look.
The sensation of the lip lock overloaded Nagisa mind and body. Instead of feeling the desire to kiss her back, it felt like he was hit 10 times with each millisecond. He struggled to pull away, but Irina strong grip kept him there. Like a lion after catching its prey, the assassin held the boy in the kiss until he was unable to move or think. Afterward, she pulled away and held him to her ample boobs. "Come to the staff room later. I'd like to see what you have on him," she said to him, as his eyes were soulless-white with his cheeks flushed.
Irina then looked up and turned her attention to the Eds and Eric. Once she did, Eric gulped, hoping that she didn't know about the Master Plan.
Irina pushed Nagisa to the ground. "And you, the one with the eye." She pointed him out before walking over to him, making Eric and the Eds tense up, as the three took a big step back. Everyone stared at her as she went. Yada didn't know why, but she really hoped she wouldn't kiss him the way she did to Nagisa. When Irina got him, she placed a finger under his chin a brought it up to look her in the eyes.
"I hear that you have a Master Plan," she said with a confident smile. "Do me a favor and hand it over to me when you and Nagisa come to the staff room."
"But..." Eric blushing heavy at how close the woman was, was about to explain to her that it wasn't really a plan before another set of hands grabbed him by the shoulders.
"Oh, no you don't!" Eddy picked Eric off the ground and then placing him away from Irina. "Who do you think you are coming here thinking you can boss us around, lady," he demanded with a glare and pointing at her. "You may be our teacher, but the Master Plan is ours..." He stopped when she pulled out a small, two-shot golden Derringer pistol and placed the barrels to his forehead.
{Play slow guitar solo.}
This caused panic and fear from the students, as they could only watch in silence as their friend was held as point-blank range. Ed chattered at his nails, Double D had his hands to his mouth, and Eric looked in wide-eyed shock.
"If you interfere even slightly with my assassination," she told him with a cold, sinister smirk. "I won't hesitate to kill you." Looking at the gun pointed to his head, Eddy sweaty nervously with shaking knees. He may have bitten off more than he could chew. After a moment, Eddy stumbled backward. Irina, smirking with satisfaction, she then turned towards the other students. "That goes the same for any of you snot-nosed punks! Hand over any and all Intel you have and I'll give you something good in return."
Ed then noticed something out of the corner of his eye to the left. Three strange men with strong bodies and broad shoulders walking over to Irina.
"If you girls prefer, you can have one of my men instead. It's a pro's job to have both technique and connections. You brats go watch from the outfield."
As Double D tended to Eddy, who had his hands on his knees and breathing heavily after the traumatic experience of having a gun to his head, and as Ed helped Nagisa stand up again, while he wiped Irina's lipstick off his lips, Eric stared at the assassins as she talked to her companions.
'Powerful knockout kisses, meathead bodyguards, and the full intent to kill. We know that what we were dealing with was a professional killer. We would have been more than willing to help her in Korosensei's assassination, but there was just one big problem.'
'Irina Jelavić was a total bitch.'
{End music.}
0000000000000000000
The next day came, and to say that things weren't going so well for the Eds and Eric would...be almost normal to say. However, after the events of yesterday, things weren't going their way. They stared at Irina, as she sat behind the teacher's desk, sitting sideways with her legs crossed over one another. She was working on her tablet to plan out her big strategy to kill Korosensei. On the desk was Eric's Master Plan journal. She barely even touched it, yet she took it from him with the notion that she was going to use it to help her. But that was a lie.
'My assignment is the first to kill an unidentified life-form.' Irina continued working on her tablet, before finishing with a smirk. Everything's ready. She then turned her head towards Eric, making him tense up. The Eds quickly looked down. 'The boys' shared their Intel with me, but I wasn't going to let them have any plans of their own after this. It's not like they'll need it after I'm done. She winked at the fractured-eye boy.
Eric felt a shiver go up his spine.
—(flashback: yesterday)—
"I told you," Eric said to her after she found out what the Master Plan really was. He and Nagisa were leaning against the chalkboard of the staff room, while Irina stood in front of them with the journal. "The Master Plan is a trial and error plan, and so far, no one has been able to do the deed."
"We've managed to destroy single tentacles before," said Nagisa, looking at his notebook, "but he just dodges your next attack while he lets it grow back."
"Actually, Double D's been theorizing on that: what if it's possible to kill and or stop him from moving if we destroy all his tentacles at once." Eric then looked at Irina as she smoked. "And another thing..." He surprised her by pulling the cigarette out of her mouth, and snuffing it out on the chalkboard. "If you're planning to sneak up on him, you probably shouldn't smoke."
"He's right, for a guy without a nose, he's a bloodhound."
"Just look over the Master Plan, it just might save you."
—(flashback ends)—
'Like I'll need to look at a journal filled with amateur tactics,' she thought in arrogance, closing her eyes and angled her head down. The students looked exasperatedly at her. Why couldn't she just be a teacher and do something useful to help them? 'I am the one and only Irina Jelavić. A pro among pros who's pulled off assassinations in all kinds of circumstances. I walk between the raindrops. Disappearing into...'
"C'mon, Miss JelaBitch," Maehara said, angering Irina as she felt the word stab through her body, "are you teaching us or what?"
"Yeah, Miss JelaBitch!" Rio said, stabbing her with the word. Increasing her anger.
"I mean, you are a teacher here, right, Miss JelaBitch," asked Sugaya. Again, 'bitch' stabbed the bitch.
"Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!" Ed started singing, causing multiple arrows of the term to stab Irina. "Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! BITCH~!"
After finally reaching her breaking point, Irina let out a rage-induced scream.
"WILL YOU QUIT SINGING 'BITCH' ALREADY!?" She yelled at Ed, before turning to the other students. "The name is Jelavić! Jela—'V'—vić! JelaBitch is what I'll be if you do get it through your thick skulls!"
"Let's begin, lightly bite your bottom lip and hum."
The students did as they were told.
"Good." She smiled in satisfaction. "Now stay like that for an hour and give me some peace and quiet while I ignore you."
A purple cloud appeared over the students' heads, as they glared at Irina with white eyes. 'What kind of lesson is this?!'
'Like I said, a total bitch!'
000000000000000000000
"SON OF A NUTCRACKER!" Eddy angrily yelled, jumping out of his seat and paced back and forth. Their new teacher had walked out of the classroom when the period was over, leaving them in the classroom. The others watched as he started ranting, after holding in his frustration. "How many times? How many times are we gonna keep getting screwed over?!"
Double D sighed at his friend's ranting. Why must he be so vocally loud? "Eddy, please, control yourself," he said.
"How, sockhead!?" Eddy snapped at him. "That Master Plan was our best plan to kill the octopus until 8-Ball had to give it to that bitch!"
8-Ball was another nickname he used for Eric. "She said she wanted to look at it! How was I supposed to know she'd take it," he snapped back at him.
"Why not reset and do it all over again," Ed asked.
"Didn't you guys make a copy of the journal," asked Kataoka.
Eric sighed, leaning back facing the ceiling and rubbing his eyes. "I knew we should have done that."
Double D turned to him. "Don't you mean you," he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Don't sass me." Eric pointed a finger at him. Eddy then groaned loudly in misery and fell backward onto the wooden floors with a thud. "Come on, Eddy. It may suck, but we don't need the journal," the fractured-eye boy told his short friend. "It's only to keep track of what works and what doesn't. We can get another journal and go from there, so long that we remember what works and what doesn't."
"And besides," said Karma in the back of the room, bringing everyone's attention to him, "she only took it because she's confident that she'll kill him in a pinch. All she was doing was eliminating the competition."
Nagisa nodded and said, "Yeah, but the worst thing is that we don't even know what she has planned for him."
Eric thought for a moment, reaching down to his right and grabbing his Anti-Sensei Rifle, before placing it on his desk to look over it. It was same as all the others: an M4 Carbine fitted with a full stock, a Magpul foregrip, Magpul BUIS, and PMAGs. He really didn't know what she was planning, or it was worth the trouble to find out for themselves. All he could do was hope that Miss JelaBitch—Jelavić knew what she was doing.
Maybe today's shooting lessons would clear his head.
00000000000000000000
When those lessons came around, and when it was Eric's turn—along with Yada, Maehara, and Rio—he stepped up to the white line and aimed downrange at the paper target. He then started shooting. Because they were BB's he had no trouble controlling the M4. Even when he started rapid firing, he was able to hit the center of the target.
He stopped when he had emptied the magazine. He pressed the mag release, pulled out the mag, and set the safety on.
"Wow."
He looked to his right and saw Yada looking at him in amazement. "What's up," he asked her.
"I didn't think you'd be that good," she said. "Not that I didn't think you were good."
He smiled at the compliment, before pulling out another magazine and slamming it into the rifle. Yada followed his example by turning back to her paper target and aiming her M4 at it. "Thanks," Eric said. "It's something that I learned from my grandpa."
"Really?" Yada fired a shot.
"Yeah." Eric aimed downrange and started shooting at a slower rate so he could talk to her. "He's retired, but he used to be Special Forces."
She fired another BB, before looking at him with curious eyes. "Really? What Special Forces was he?"
Eric lowered his gun and turned his head towards her with a nervous smile and his eyes closed. "I don't think I should tell you that. It's...not really something you can just tell anyone." He then opened his eyes, but when he did, he caught something over her head. Focusing on it by leaning his head to the side to look around Yada, he saw Irina and Korosensei walking towards the storage shed. He sighed with a deadpanned expression. "Don't look now, but the lovebirds are on the move."
This caused everyone to look. "What?" Mimura wined. "Oh come on, you've got to be kidding me!"
"Wow, seriously," asked Suyaga, seeing Korosensei's face pink. "I'm kinda disappointed in him, getting reeled in by such a transparent woman."
"I'd have to agree," Double D said, "especially with how unpleasant our new poor excuse for an educator is."
"Double D's right, Mr. Karasuma," said Kataoka. "I get that she's a pro killer, but we just can't bring ourselves to like her."
"Yes, I know," Karasuma responded. "I'm sorry you kids have to deal with her, but the higher-ups seem to think she's all that. And, well, seeing what she's been able to put together in such a short amount of time, there's no denying that she's a top-class hitman."
Nagisa looked at him. "What do you mean," he asked.
"Let's just say that she's created a spider web that I hope works."
Eric watched the two walk behind the shed before he and the other students at the firing line stepped back to let the next five steps up. After back away and joining with his friends, he looked at the shed again. Eric knew that she wasn't going to win against Korosensei. He wasn't so sure. Maybe she could. But after all the attempts they made on the teacher's life, the fourth man of the group knew that just by reading Korosensei's weaknesses without reading the Master Plan was going to lead to failure.
Then an idea formed in his head, after spotting a window in the shed. It was a bad idea, but it was one that they all could benefit from. He sighed. "Screw it," he breathed and placed his gun on the ground. "Ed, come on!" Eric then ran towards the shed.
This caught many of the students by surprise, including Karasuma. "Wait, Eric!" He called out to him, before Ed ran past him.
"Wait for me, Eric!" The simpleton exclaimed, throwing his gun in the air. The airsoft m4 flew upwards before landing on Eddy's head, knocking him out.
00000000000000000000
Irina closed the doors of the shed, with a dark, almost sinister smile. She was successful in luring Korosensei into her 'spider trap', as Karasuma said it.
Korosensei turned to her in the darkroom. "So what is it you want to speak about in private, Irina darling," he asked. She didn't answer him and turned around to lock the doors. To her, an infiltration is a form of art. The key point of it is to be flexible where the target is concerned. The target was an unknown life form, so her best course of action was to kill him before he gets suspicious.
Irina turned around, and took off her white dress shirt.
000000000000000
Eric and Ed made it to the wall of the shed. The goal for the former was to look into the room to see the assassination. He knew that it sounded and made him look like a pervert, but they needed to know what the plan was, so that if it fails, they'd know that it didn't and move on to the next plan. Eric looked up at the window and then turned to Ed. "Alright, give me a boost," he whispered to him, trying to be stealthy.
"Okay." Ed thought for a moment, confusing Eric, before saying, "You are a good person, and people say nice things about you."
"Not a morale boost, moron, a physical one," Eric corrected him, before pointing up to the window. "I need to see what's in that window."
Ed looked up at the window before looking at him again. "But Eric, that window is very high. I don't think you are tall enough."
"I know, I need you to help me look through it," he clarified in annoyance.
"I don't think I am tall enough either. Also, my head is round, that window is square."
Eric looked at him in disbelief with an eye twitching. He was certain that he was used to Ed after all their adventures, but the fractured-eye boy was proven wrong...again. "Just stand still, you," he ordered him, before climbing him. Each step on the big Ed's body stretched either his clothing or his skin down.
After reaching the top of Ed and standing on his head, Eric grabbed the edge of the window ledge and looked into the room. It was dark, and he wasn't able to see much, but he was able to see enough and hear perfectly on what's going on.
"What do you see, Eric," Ed asked.
Eric shook his head. "I'll tell you when you're older, Ed," he said.
As he looked through the window, he saw Irina Jelavić, with her white dress shirt off, leave on her strapless black shirt and her white mini skirt. However, she was pushing her boobs up as she leaned forward in front of Korosensei. "Oh, Korosensei," she said in a pleading and suggestive voice, "I just can't stand it. You'll think I'm a harlot, but I just can't control myself around you."
"NYUUAAA?!" Korosensei turned pink again, as he started twitching and spouting out gibberish.
"That body and power." As she spoke from inside, Eric looked at the scene in wide-eyed disbelief and jaws hanging. However, the forceful of an act was she willing to pull? "Everything about you drives me mad with lust. Does that make me a bad woman? Am I bad?"
He slapped his hand on his face. "I can't believe I came all the way out here for this," he groaned.
However, while he knew that she was forcing the acting and getting Korosensei to pay attention to her, what he didn't know was that yesterday, Irina was preparing her trap. Behind Korosensei, out of Eric's sight, and behind gym equipment and barricades, the three men who accompanied her were hiding.
And had Korosensei locked within their gunsights.
Now was the time to strike. "I'll make this the best time of your life," she said soothingly, backing away from him. Irina then started walking behind a board, waving to him. "Just give me a minute and I'll be all yours."
"That's it," Eric said, pushing away from the wall and then jumping off of Ed's head. "Come on Ed, let's go." The two then started to take their first step towards the others.
"It'll only take one minute," Irina told Korosensei with one last look, before hiding behind the board.
That's when the three goons opened fire on him, hitting him with every shot.
But these weren't the BB's that the students were given. These were real live rounds, firing from real guns.
0000000000000000
"GET DOWN, ED!" Eric yelled when the shooting within the shed started. The two boys jumped forward with their arms stretched out, before landing on the ground (with Ed making a small imprint of himself in the dirt), and covering the back of their head. And it wasn't just them that were started. The other students, from where they were, nearly jumped off their skin by the sound of automatic guns going off.
Eric picked his head off the ground shouted, "What the fuck is she thinking?!"
00000000000000000000
However, in the shed, Irina was more than pleased, as she kneeled on the floor with her back against the bulletproof broad and plugged her ears with her fingers. 'Live ammo, big guns. M61, M134, and speed and firepower to take out a small army.' She looked down at an airsoft M1911, staring at it like it was a mere toy. Which wasn't far from her thoughts. 'Who needs BB's when you have the real thing? I'm a pro. I'll stick to actual weapons, thank you very much. Firing sequence complete in three, two, one, zero.'
And the guns stopped firing.
Irina stepped out from behind the broad, expecting to see her target nothing but a pile of his flesh and whatever he was made of.
{Play music: "(When) Your Middle Name Is Danger" by Trocadero}
"!" However, she instead gasped and her eyes widened in shock.
Korosensei stood before, unharmed. His body was darkened by the sunlight coming from the window behind him, as steam came from his chest area, and his eyes shined bright red, giving his smiling face an unsettling vibe.
He chuckled for a moment before he said, "A noble effort, Madame, but lead bullets are useless against me." He then reached to where the stream was coming from—a hole in his shirt that was formed by the bullets—before pulling out a large, silver lump. Korosensei held it out in front of her. "In fact, they simply melt inside my body." The lump of lead lost its form and slipped out of his hand and between his fingers like it was water. "Now, take a good look at my face and tell me what you see."
Irina did and gasped again, taking a step back. Above the tiny white dots that were his eyes, she saw two more dots. "You have... four eyes?!"
"No, two of these holes are nostrils."
"How am I supposed to know that?!"
"I noticed a distinct, metallic odor in here since yesterday, along with an old-man smell. The moment it hit me, I knew something wasn't right." He explained, causing Irina to gasp. She then remembered what Nagisa said to her.
Flashback
"...for a guy without a nose, he's a bloodhound."
End of flashback
"So you see, I was only pretending to be caught in your trap," Korosensei said, eyes flashing as they continued to glow red, "fun, but all for nothing. I've exposed you for the uncreative act you are!" He started to move closer to her, causing Irina to back away. Korosensei reached into his outfit and pulled out something that further added to her shock: the Master Plan journal. "And you really shouldn't have thrown this away. After all, the Eds and Eric worked hard on it. You could really learn a thing or two from them and the rest of my students. Their assassination attempts are much more imaginative."
He continued his advancements towards her until she backed up against the wall. Irina was now scared. Trembling, sweating, and whimpering as Korosensei brought out more of his tentacles. Wiggling them around as they started to form a yellow body fluid on them.
"Oh, and just out of curiosity. Did the government diocese of me mention that my preferred method of retaliation is grooming?"
00000000000000000000
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The students outside were started by the sound slithering noises and Irina screams of terror. Eric and Ed got up from the ground, with the big Ed-boy hiding behind his friend.
"What was that?!" Okano exclaimed.
"Now what could go on in there?!" Double D exclaimed.
"Gunshots, a scream... and now slithery sounds," Okajima asked. They stopped talking and listened for any more sounds.
{End music}
"Noooooo!"
What they didn't expect to hear was Irina screaming again and the slithering sound. Only this, she sounded less in terror and more like pleasured.
"~Noo...ooo...~"
Now that one sounded really sexual.
But not to Ed. "Just like I thought," he said in fear as he backed away and grabbed the sides of his head, getting everyone's attention. "Korosensei has devoured Miss Bitch! And those screams were her wails of pain, as her body's been melted inside of him!" Ed stopped and stretched his underwear out, before reaching into it. The students watched in wide-eyed disgust as he fished for something. A moment later, he pulled out one of his horror comics. He opened it and looked into it for a moment, before turning back to the others. "And now he will hunt us down for Sunday supper."
Double D, Eddy, and Eric looked at him in annoyance. Everyone else looked at him questioningly and doubtful, even though they should know to expect this from him. However, Fuwa asked, "Do you mind if I read that?"
"Enchanting, Ed, but I'm sure that there's a more grounded and reasonable explanation for what has transpired in the shed," Double D stated, before running towards the shed. He was then followed by the others.
After reaching the shed, they ran around the corner to the front where the door was. The moment they did, the door slid open and out came Korosensei. His skin was pink again, but his usual uniform was patched up with random pieces of fabric. "Korosensei," Nagisa exclaimed.
"Did you touch her boobs!?" Okajima demanded.
Korosensei sighed happily. "I would've liked to enjoy myself a little longer," he said, before turning his skin yellow again, "but class isn't going to teach itself. Oh, and Eric." The teacher brought out the Master Plan journal and handed it to Eric, who accepted it with wonder. "I've also added in some notes for you to take into consideration." The fractured-eye boy opened the journal and looked in at, as his friends gather around him to look as well. Flipping through the pages that they used, they saw red notes with doodles for addition aide. They weren't so many things about what they did wrong. They were instead what they did right and they should do next time in more detail. "After you attempt it, come and see me so that I may give you pointers."
"Y-Yeah, but..." Eric wasn't able to really put his words in order, as he and the others were amazed by what he was willing to do.
"Wh-What happened in there," Nagisa asked for him. His answer came when Irina stumbled out for the shed. They and the Eds and Eric were shocked to see her not wearing her usual clothing, but navy blue bloomers, a white T-shirt with her name on it, and a red headband. But she seemed really out of it. With her eyes looking upwards and drool coming from the side of her lips.
"IT LIVES!" Ed shouted, pointing at her, before smiling and waving. "Hiya, Miss Bitch."
"She's been stuffed into a wholesome, retro gym outfit!" Nagisa exclaimed.
"It would take longer to describe the things he did to this body than it did for him to do them," Irina mutter, as her mind flashed back to moments that seemed like a blur. Remembering his tentacles all around her. "My back and shoulders have never felt looser... He somehow worked in a lymphatic beauty massage...A change of clothes, just because...And he still had time to do this...thing with his tentacles..." And with that, she collapsed face-first on the ground.
"What 'thing' with his tentacles!?" Most of the boys exclaimed as purple lines appeared over their heads.
Nagisa looked at his teacher with suspicion. "Korosensei, what is she talking about?"
"Uh." Korosensei quickly looked away, his skin white, and his face having a plane look. With two black dots and a closed and straight lip line. "Adults somethings need special care."
"I see so many red flags here," Eric groaned.
"Now, back to the classroom, students," Korosensei said, leading the kids to the school.
"Yes, sir," they groaned in response.
They left Irina alone on the ground, as she lifted herself up on her arms and knees with her head down. 'Unbelievable,' she said angrily in her head and ripping off the headband. 'I've never been so humiliated in all my life.' She then looked up at where Korosensei used to be when he was walking the students back to the classroom. Her eyes glared in hatred. 'I'm a professional, dammit! The octopus will pay!'
00000000000000000000000
The day wasn't over yet, and the students were now in study hall. However, most of the students looked tiredly at Irina. Watching her as she tapped her tablet loudly, gritting her teeth in anger while sitting at the teacher's desk. However, not all students were focused on the bitch.
"So it said here that normal bullets would just melt in his body," said Eric as he read from the Master Plan. He had it on his desk and opened to a page Korosensei added in. All in red pen, showing the plan Irina used in the shed, complete with doodles, notes, descriptions, the right and wrongs, and even suggestions.
"That explains why they didn't give us real guns," Eddy said.
"And the fact that we're kids," Kayano said.
"I'm just glad you guys were able to get the journal back," said Hinano, smiling at the Eds and Eric over her shoulder. "I mean, you guys don't really do that much of the attempts, but it's wonderful that you're willing to help us that much."
"Dammit!" Irina yelled in frustration, startling them. "Why doesn't this podunk school have wi-fi?!"
"You're awfully pissed off, Miss Bitch," said Karma from all the way in the back, with his arms behind his head. "Guess he really did a number on your pride, huh? I know that's how I'd be if my plan failed."
"Your plans did fail," Eric reminded him, before smirking, "just not as miserably."
"Oh, I know!" Ed reached into his uniform. "I'll give her Angus—"
"DON'T!" Eric shouted and pointed a threatening finger at his friend, getting him to stop. "You dare! Bring out that stupid dead fish!"
Double D sighed. He was hoping that this would be a chance to actually start learning, but Irina once again made it a study hall so she could conjure up another attempt on Korosensei's life. Having enough, he spoke up. "Excuse me, Miss Jelavić," he said, getting her attention.
"What?" She responded rudely.
"If you're not going to teach us anything, do you mind if we swop you out for Korosensei," the smart Ed-boy asked politely. "We've got entrance exams this year, and we..."
"Ha! You want that vicious creature to teach you?" She retorted with a mocking look. "You think your exams matter when the whole planet's at stake?" Irina placed her tablet on the desk and stood up. "Must be nice being a clueless brat! Give it a rest, even if the earth wasn't in danger, entrance exams are for students with a future."
This caused anger to build up in the students, excluding the Eds and Eric, Nagisa, and Karma.
"I mean, look at that sack of stupid." Irina gestured with a hand at Ed. "He's probably the biggest dumbass on the planet. Where could he possibly go after school? What college would accept him? He's not, and will always be nothing!" Ed looked down in despair, his lips quivering, eyes growing larger, and tears forming. "Why even bother?" While Double D looked at his friend with concern, her words were more than enough to spark rage in Eric and Eddy, and anger the students even more. "How about this, kids? Forget the studying. If I successfully assassinate him, I'll give you each a percentage of the reward money! That's far more than you'd stand to gain from a bunch of useless schoolwork! So shut your dumb mouths and do as I—"
She stopped when an eraser, throw by Eric, hits the broad inches from her head, surprising her. The eraser bounced off the board and lands on the table. "Get out," he demanded.
Irina looked at the class. She gasped lightly at the sight of hateful looks staring right at her.
Suddenly, the room exploded into an anger E-Class yelling, getting out of their seats, and throwing everything they had at Irina, as she tried to shield herself.
"GET OUT, YOU FUCKING BITCH!"
"Take a hike, you stupid bitch!"
"Bring back Korosensei!"
"Don't screw with us!"
"Where'd all this come from," Irina yelled angrily at them with white eyes. "WAAAAAHHHH!" She screamed in fear when she saw Ed picking up his deck and throwing at her, forcing her to duck under the table before it slammed and broke apart.
"Go away, mean lady!" Ed yelled as Eric looked at what he did in shock. Everyone else, except from Double D and Nagisa, continued to shout and throw things at Irina. Ed was going to throw his chair next, but Eric grabbed his arm and pulled back to prevent him.
"Ed stop, you're gonna hurt somebody!" Eric exclaimed. "This ain't a cartoon anymore!"
Irina poked her head out from behind the deck and growled, as random objects flew over her. "THAT'S IT! I WILL MAKE YOU RUE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN!"
"Oh yeah?! Well, come on!" Eddy yelled at her with a shaking fist, as Double D and Nagisa continued to sit at their desks and cover their heads. Not wanting to get involved in the mayhem all around them. Kayano however, with white eyes, held up a protest sign that said "No Big Boobs!" on it. "We're right here, bitch!"
"Your boobs are way too big to be a teacher!" Kayano shouted.
Nagisa looked at her in disbelief. 'That's your problem?'
As the chaos ensued, Karasuma stood at the cracked open door, growling in great annoyance with a hand on his forehead.
00000000000000000000
After the fight and Irina being escorted out of the classroom, Karasuma brought her to the staff room.
"What is with those brats?!" She exclaimed slammed her hands on the desk in front of Karasuma's as he worked calmly on his laptop. "I'm too fine a woman to be one-upped by a bunch of punks! How are they not grateful just to be breathing the same air as me. They'd be lucky to lick the mud off my stilettos?!"
"In case you haven't noticed, sweetheart, the children don't agree with that assessment," Karasuma said, annoyed with her childish attitude. "If you're gonna stick around for another attempt, I suggest that you suck it up, march in there, and apologize to them."
"Do what!?" Irina complained, feeling her pride continually being hit. "Do I look like a teacher to you? Let me focus on the assassination!"
This further annoyed Karasuma, with him, letting out a sigh. "All right, whatever." He then got out of his seat and started walking towards the door, confusing Irina. "Come with me."
0000000000000000000000
After walking her out of the building, Karasuma led Irina to the forest. Once they arrived, the two adults hid behind a tree as they watched Korosensei.
"Erromango, one of the islands of Vanuatu, Nor the New Hebrides..." Korosensei said as he sat in a beach chair, with a small table next to him that many educational textbooks on it. With one tentacle holding a juice box up to his mouth, one tentacle holding up a clipboard, and another one holding an open textbook under the clipboard, he worked on the paper with multiple tentacles that each had a different tool at blazing fast speeds.
"Okay, so what the hell is he doing," Irina asked.
"He's writing test questions," Karasuma answered. "That's what he does every Wednesday during the sixth period, ever since I got here."
"...He's sure taking his sweet time. At Mach 20, he should've finished ages ago," she said, leaning against the tree.
"He writes different questions for each student," he told her, making Irina gasp in shock. "He takes into account each student's strongest and weakest subjects, and then hands out a test specifically for them."
Irina, however, noticed that there were also comic books on the table too, and that Korosensei had one in his tentacle, before switching to another comic book after five seconds. "So why is he reading comics?"
"He's working on Ed's test."
"That stupid kid?"
Karasuma nodded. "Ed's the strongest out of all the students, but he suffers greatly from mental retardation. Most teachers would have seen Ed as a lost cause, but the octopus sees him as a challenge to becoming a better teacher. Yet even with his faults, the boy's imagination is vast and is willing to try and learn what he can and can not. However, the one thing that he does seem to understand is art, and science fiction. So the octopus makes a test that Ed could understand, hoping that it can help him in future tests."
"Looks like we've got Ed to understand spatial," Korosensei said, "Why don't I throw in a trick question to mix things up?"
"His IQ is off the chart. Literally," Karasuma said, as Irina looked at Korosensei in wonder. "His speed puts every weapon we have to shame. He's dangerous, cunning, and out to destroy the earth... and yet, he's a damn near perfect teacher."
00000000000000
"Take this!" Yada hits a ball over a badminton net with a wooden knife that had a curved blade, as she played with other students in a made-up game that appeared similar to the real sport. Each team had five players and the same wooden knives. Eddy and Ed were playing the same game too, with the small Ed-boy on Yada's team and the strong Ed-boy on the opposing team. Eric was off to the side with a few spectators, standing next to a scoreboard.
"I got it! I got it!" Ed exclaimed as he ran to hit the ball back. He did hit the ball—which was yellow and had Korosensei's face on it—but ended up sending it flying straight up into the air.
Everyone groaned, but Eddy stared at the ball after it stopped ascending and started falling back down. "I got it! I got it!" He exclaimed with a confident smirk moving left and right, trying to find the right place to send the ball back.
After lead Irina to the back schoolyard, Karasuma stopped and pointed at them. "Take a look and tell me what you see," he said, confusing the assassin.
"They're just screwing around," she said, as Eddy stopped moving and waited for the ball to come to him.
"They're fine toning the necessary hand-eye coordination skills to hit a moving target," Karasuma corrected her. "It's called assassination badminton. I taught it to them." After a second of waiting, Eddy saw his opportunity. He jumped up and spiked the ball over the net. The other team's players weren't able to react fast enough, and the ball hits the ground, scoring them one point. Eddy's team and even some of the members on Ed's team cheered for him, as he smirked and looked at his nails arrogantly and proudly. Eric nodded at him with a smile and added a point to his team.
"What?"
"Target and teacher, assassins and students. That's the role that everyone has here..." As Karasuma spoke, Korosensei was in the classroom, helping Hara, a somewhat large girl with brown hair tied into a ponytail and dark-brown eye.
Outside and crouching down below the window was Double D with his M4. "It's a bizarre classroom this creature has created..." Double D then brought the airsoft gun up, quickly aimed at the teacher, and fired a single shot. Korosensei blocked the shot with a clipboard. "... not a place for easy answers or tidy resolution."
He turned his head to her, as she stared at the game going on. "You make a big deal out of being a professional, but if you can't cut it as both assassin and teacher, that makes you the most inept professional here. If you want to stay here and continue going after him, fine, but the least these students deserve is respect."
Karasuma then turned around and walked away, leaving Irina to think long and hard.
00000000000000
The class started, and everyone was back in the room. It was the period that was supposed to be their English class, but that was before the arrival of Irina. Now, everyone was just sitting or standing around talking to each other. Irina wasn't there.
However, they all stopped when the door slid open. They were surprised to see it was Irina, only with a more serious face than yesterdays. As the kids watched with wide eyes, Irina walked over to the chalkboard, her high-heel sandals clicking and clacking against the wooden floor before stopping.
She then picked up a white chalk and started writing on the board.
"You are incredible in bed."
Irina then turned towards the students. "What word does 'incredible' modify," she asked them. "You know this one."
The students didn't answer and looked stunned and a little taken back at her.
"Read it out loud."
"Y-You are incredible in bed," they said, not sure why they would ever say that out loud in public.
"I once took out a certain American VIP, literally," Irina told them. "The first thing I did was seduce his bodyguard, using my feminine grace to close to him. The sucker fell for me hook, line, and sinker. 'You are incredible in bed,' is what he told me. 'Incredible', in this case, modifies 'you'. Any questions?"
Most of the classroom silently stared at her with white eyes, pink blushing faces, and a few drops of sweat. Looking at her with WTF looks. "Okay!" Ed said, not really understanding what she said.
"...That's...great to know...really," Eric said, both hesitantly and sarcastically. "But...Why would you use that as an example...for Junior High kids?"
"It's often said that the fastest way to learn another language is to get yourself a lover who speaks it," Irina explained to him and the others. "You want to know what they're feeling, so you try your hardest to understand what they say. I've had many opportunities throughout my work to learn quite a few new languages that way. Therefore, my lessons will teach you how to sweet-talk foreigners. The basics of endearing conversation, straight from a pro assassin: master them and they'll come in handy with a real, live foreigner."
'A foreigner!' Okajima and Rio thought dreamingly, with the pervert thinking about a certain English female video game archaeologist and the blonde thinking about a certain live-action Disney pirate.
"Let that octopus teach you what you need to know for your exams. The only thing I can teach you is practical conversation skills. And if you still don't think of me as a teacher, I'll give up on my assassination and leave," Irina told them before her expression turned timid and pushed her pointer fingers against each other. "Y-You're okay with that, right? And... I'm sorry about...being a bitch."
The class became silent, letting what had happened sink in. With a new attitude, it was like they were staring at a different person. However, they surprised her by laughing in good nature.
"Why so nervous," asked Karma. "You were threatening to kill us a moment ago!"
"She's totally a teacher now," said Maehara.
"Guess we can't call you 'Miss Bitch' anymore," said Okana.
"Eh." Eddy shrugged his shoulders with a smirk. "It was fun while it lasted."
"You... You're giving me a chance?" Irina placed a hand over her mouth, as an overwhelming feeling of joy and acceptance filled her body. "You're not upset with me? Not even you, Ed?"
"I forget what we're doing," Ed said, still being a simpleton.
"We were being pretty mean to you," Yada said
"Yeah!" Eric smile, before holding up the Master Plan. "I mean, your failed attempt did help us greatly."
"So what do we call her," asked Hinano. "We can't call Miss Bitch anymore."
"How about Bitch-sensei?"
The moment of happiness came to a crashing halt for her with that name. "Er... How about we move away from the whole "bitch" thing? Just call me by my first name. I don't mi—"
"Boring," Eddy exclaimed, grinning his usual arrogant grin. "Face it, that's not going away any time soon!"
"I don't think that's rather appropriate, Eddy," Double D scolded him.
"Cheers for Professor Bitch!" Ed exclaimed happily, throwing up his hands in the air.
Eric grinned at him and said, "Hey, that's a good one, Ed! Well, there you have it. Welcome to E-Class, Professor Bitch!"
"Totally!"
"Let's get started, Professor Bitch!"
"Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! BITCH~!
But while they loved the new name for their new teacher and had fun with it, Irina felt unbridled rage and let out a furious shriek. "I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH!"
While the class laughed and Irina yelled at them, Karasuma and Korosensei stood outside in the hallway and looked through the window. "She seems to be fitting right at home," Korosensei commented.
"More or less," Karasuma said. They listened as Irina yelled at them, as the human male adult saw an opportunity to try and kill the octopus. He silently reached into his suit and started pulling out his M1911.
"Thank you for being a new teacher, Mr. Karasuma," Korosensei said, making his hand stop before the airsoft pistol could be fully pulled out. "She's a bit rough around the edges perhaps, but a welcomed addition to our little family, I think." The yellow being then turned his head to look at Karasuma. "Who better to spice up the language arts syllabus than globe-trotting assassin/temptress like her?"
While he didn't show it, Karasuma was a little astonished. 'Impossible. Did he seriously see all this coming?' His thoughts asked as he watched the strange creature walk away down the hall, off to satisfy his very strong sweet tooth, before the government agent looked back in the classroom and watched as Irina yelled at the student for calling her cute. 'He stubbornly refuses to say why he chose to teach E-Class. But the more we make it the perfect place for an assassination, the more we end up making it the perfect place to learn.'
'Karasuma wasn't wrong about that. Korosensei had every one of us wrapped up in his tentacles. But then again, as long as we were able to be there, we didn't mind at all.
We were ready to learn. Both as students and assassins.'
00000000000000000000000000
{Playing Welcome Back by John Sebastian}
[Instrumentals] The opening fades into a scenery of Tokyo, Japan. The morning has come, and the sun was rising in the east
[Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out] The scene then cuts to the inside of a house, showing a hallway with four doors, two on each side. Eric exits out of one of the rooms with yawns out loud while stretching his arms up. Double D then came out of his room, wearing a bathrobe and a bath-hat on his head.
[Welcome back, to that same old place that you laughed about] The smart Ed-boy greeted him positively, while Eric said good morning tiredly. Double D then walked down the hallway, as Eric knocked on a door on the other side, telling whoever was in it to get up.
[Well the names have all changed since you hung around] The scene changed to show the Eds and Eric at a table eating waffles for breakfast.
[But those dreams have remained and they've turned around] Eric then looked at the clock. He then stood up and told them something, to which they all stood up and grabbed their bags behind their chairs.
[Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)] Looking at them from the left side, the views are shown the Eds and Eric walking to school. Walking Billboards and advertisement.
[Back here where we need ya (Back here where we need ya)] They're now shown walking up the dirt road to the old school building.
[Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot] In the room, the Eds and Eric go to their assigned seats. Before he sat down though, Eric took a moment to look at Yada.
[Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back] Yada noticed him looking at her and smiled and waved. Eric returned both gestures and sat down.
[Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back] Soon Korosensei arrived and the class began.
[Yeah we tease him a lot, welcome back, welcome back] Later on in the day, the Eds and Eric are shown attempting to assassinate Korosensei with some elaborate assassination plan.
[Cause we got him on the spot, welcome back, welcome back] Next it shows them failing.
[Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot] The camera cuts to a hand holding a yellow notebook with the description of the assassination, and a number to indicate what attempt it was. It was crossed out by a red marker.
[Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back] It is shown to be Eric who was holding the notebook, with the Eds around him. They sighed in disappointment, as the sunsets.
[Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back] They look at each other and shrugged with a small in an 'Oh well' manner. Eric then flipped over to the next page and put down the next number for the next assassination plan.
[Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back] The Eds and Eric are then seen walking back home before everything fades to black.
00000000000000000000000
Next time: EDventure #5 "A Few Good EDs!"
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票