章節 20: Burning heart, cold soul(1)

I went inside after the police left. Since I entered 'limbo state' I calmed down but I had the desire for revenge. This surprised me because this is the first time I had an emotion while I was in this state, desire, the desire to punish those who wronged me. To make the person that did this pay.

The others were still asleep and I didn't want to wake them up so I could tell them about what happened so I went to my room. I don't know why I did that, my legs simply carried me there. I closed the door behind me and went to the table where I keep my notebook. I take one of my sketchbooks and start looking through it, most of it had drawings of buildings, then my hand stops at a drawing of Naomi, a portrait of her. One where she is smiling at. I remember this one I made specifically so that from every position you look at it you see her smiling at you. Anger overtakes me. I throw the sketchbook away and then the desk where the rest of the sketchbooks are. I enter a layer deeper in the void I calm again. I look at the mess I made.

'What do you know. I can lose control of my emotions in this state. While I'm not angry anymore I still feel that cold flame burning inside me.'

I put the table back and arrange the notebooks back on it. I kneel on the ground and I start to take pieces of parquet out of the floor. I look at the gear that I've been working on for the last weeks. It was almost finished. I take one of the gloves in my hand, I look at it, and finally, something inside me clicks. I want revenge I want to get the monster that did this and beat him to death, but first I need to prepare for that. I need to finish my equipment and I need to learn where the scumbag is.

"Ethan is everything ok? I heard the noise and came to check if you're ok."

"Yes, I am. I tripped, I'm sorry for waking you up."

"No problem. Can I come in?"

"Just a second!"

I put the glove with the rest and then put the pieces of parquet back. Then I go to open the door.

She comes in and kisses me. I'm about a head taller than her and so I needed to lean down in order to return the kiss

"Mornin'!" She says after she kisses me.

"Mornin'!" I respond putting a fake smile on my face.

Truth be told I didn't feel anything when she kissed me and for her in general at the moment. I felt I was looking and talking with a block of meat nothing more. I knew this was wrong. I knew that I shouldn't use 'limbo state' to deal with this because sooner or later I would need to confront this head-on. But today is not that day.

"Did you have breakfast?"

"Not yet. Want to wake up the others?"

"Let them sleep a little more."

She takes my hand and pulls me along to the kitchen. When we get there she hugs me and I hug her back. It would've been a wonderful moment if not for the circumstances.

While we prepared breakfast the others wake up one by one Mako, Zane, Kai, Bolin. In the end, we all ate at the small kitchen table. We talked for a while and then we all went our way. Nya wanted to spend more time with me but Zane pulled her away saying that they have some things to do at home. I was thankful for that because I didn't want to pretend anymore.

The moment they all left I started to clean the house. Even if grandma wasn't around anymore that doesn't mean the house shouldn't be clean. After the cleaning was done I went outside and put a sign with "Closed till further notice" and I went to see Wu.

When we entered the Equalists he told us where to find him during the day. Apparently, he was posing as an ordinary worker in one of Sato's factories. I got there and asked for him. The security guard showed me where I can find him. I thank the security guard and went the way the guard pointed me.

It was a big crowded place so it took me about ten minutes to find him. I approached him and I said I wanted to talk with him. He told his colleague to take his place for a few minutes.

"What's with you here? Happy birthday for yesterday by the way."

"Thank you. Master, I'm here because I want to know some information about a fire bender crock called Chen Crazy Knees. I know the brotherhood has a big information network so I came to ask you if you could please help me find him."

"Why do you want to find him?"

"It's something personal."

"Ok, I'll see what I can, but you will probably have an address in a few days since I can't put priority to your request without a reason."

"It's ok."

I was about to wait when he suddenly lunged at me. I stopped him without even turning my body all the way.

"Ethan I'm going to ask you once and you better don't lie to me. Why are you in your weird fighting state?"

'Well shit, now I need to come up with some lies'

"Did you know that Nya has feelings for me?"

"Of course I know. The two of you have been my students for a long time and I could see how the girl looks at you. I thought you knew as well, guess not. Why? What happened?"

"Firstly how did anyone but me know that but me. Secondly, why does everyone think I'm all-knowing. Lastly, something great happened. She told me she liked me. I sang her a love song and then we kissed."

"What does any of this have to do with you being in full fighting machine mode?"

"This state doesn't only help me fight better it helps me focus. My thoughts are in shambles I can't think of anything else other than her so this helps me focus."

"Haha, young love so beautiful... so passionate..."

"Haha, it might seem funny for you master but it makes me a little scared since I'm not used to being so distracted."

"Kid, that's love for you. Don't try to suppress it, it's a wonderful experience that needs to be lived to the maximum. Ok, I'll look in that guy for you but you need to promise to me to stop suppressing it."

"I wasn't planning to suppress it either."