章節 13: Omake 01

"Uh...can you repeat that please?"

"It's time to die transmigrator. Your presence in this world has shifted it off its original course and I have been brought here by the almighty and handsome God to eliminate you", said the steely-faced man.

"Yeah I get that but you're talking about ROB, right? The dude who has no face? You're calling him handsome?" I didn't know if I should laugh or not.

"You dare mock the mighty God!?" He yelled, his face contorting into one of rage. What are you getting so worked up for? It's not like I insulted your mother or something.

"Oh, you're so defensive over him. You got something going on with him?" I suppressed a laugh only for my expression to turn into one of disgust as the burly man before me started blushing like a girl after having her crush exposed.

"Well I've been praying diligently and-"

"Ew dude I don't wanna know, nor do I care. Get out of here. You're ruining my weekend", I said before speedily walking away back to my house.

"You're lucky this is a public area, or you'd be dead by now. I'll come for you later boy", the man yelled from the distance but I ignored him. I don't wanna be near this guy. Not that I think he's dangerous or anything, it's his crush with ROB that's making me uncomfortable.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

"I told you I'd be seeing you again boy"

"AH FUCK!" I screamed in surprise sending out Rashomon shaped into a fist, the man launching off the window sill onto the street.

"Are you serious right now!?" I screamed at him from the window as he slowly got up.

"Deadly so", He glared at me, his eyes filled with determination.

"Well couldn't you have at least waited or something? Do you not have any manners!?", I almost screamed at him, my face red with anger and partly embarrassment.

"You must always strike when the target least expects it. This is the way of the assassin"

"SO YOU CAME TO PICK A FIGHT WHILE I WAS TAKING A PISS!?"

"Exactly. It was the perfect opportunity to catch you off guard, and it almost worked too. Dammit, all that time spent listening and watching you from outside was wasted. But there'll be the next time"

"Eh? You were watching me...all this time?" I asked as my expression faltered. He nodded seriously as if it was only natural to be spying upon me while I relieved myself.

"I'm kicking you're ass. Right now.", I washed my hands before diving through the window and sending a kick for his face.

<<<<<10 minutes later>>>>>

"Don't let me catch you around my house again you hear me? I don't appreciate being spied on by some weird old guy. Have you no shame?", I asked as I looked down at the beaten man sprawled out on the floor.

"I will not rest...till I have carried out the Lord's orders...", He groaned, his voice filled with pain.

"His orders don't even make sense. He gave me this chance, why the hell would he fish some dirtbag pedo out the gutter with no special ability just to try and kill me? Has ROB gone senile or something?", I said to myself as the angry caw of a bird resounded from a nearby building.

"Oh fuck off. If you're not gonna give me an explanation don't get offended by my assumptions", I put up a middle finger in the direction of the building before heading back inside. Too much craziness for my peaceful weekend.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I've come to an amusement park with my family. Mom thought it was a good idea to have some fun and to relieve some stress from school and work. I surely am stressed, but not from school.

I walked over to a man selling candy floss. Hadn't had this in a while so it would be fun to try again. As I reached the cart that had an umbrella tilted at an angle, I squinted my eyes to get a good look at the man. I could see he was well built but his face wasn't visible since the umbrella covered it.

Making my way over, I took some cash out of my back pocket to hand over before groaning in irritation. Before me stood the biggest annoyance and hindrance of my weekend.

"So we meet again boy", he smirked as he stared down at me, his expression victorious.

"What are you so smug about? Following an underage boy around, peeking in on him while he's pissing, and even trying to kill him? Emphasis on trying", I said with a somber face.

"I am but a soldier carrying out the orders of the almighty God. My diligence will surely be rewarded", the man said as he spun some candy floss and stuck it in his mouth, watching me as he started eating.

My lips curled in disgust. What the hell? Where'd ROB find this guy?

"Look Oh Chosen Pedo. I don't have the time and my patience has long run out to deal with your shit. So either you stop stalking me or you disappear then reappear on a missing person's list in the next few hours"

"I HAVE A NAME. I AM CARTER AND I SHALL NOT BACK DOWN FROM A FIGHT", the man yelled loudly as he stepped out from behind the cart and attracting the attention of the surrounding amusement park goers.

"Save it for someone who gives a shit. Let's go."

But before we could even throw a single fist at each other I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Oh, honey who would this be?" My mother said from beside me as her eyes flickered with a sharp light. My father stood on my other side, his usual gentle face replaced by an expression as cold as stone.

I suddenly smirked at the man before putting on a frightened expression.

"Mom, this man, h-he's been following me for the past few days and, he even tried to...have his way with me once" I gripped my mother's arm as she pushed me behind her, her expression turning dark as both her and my father glared at the man, his sweat flowing like a river.

"You're in need of some punishment", my father's deep voice rang out as the earth started to shudder.

"Indeed", my mother added, her fists shining with a blinding light. Before the man could even utter a single word his face met with two extremely fast fists.

>>>>>>>>>

"We'll be sure he's locked away for good. Sorry you had to go through this young man", the police officer nodded towards us before heading back to his car where Carter sat in the backseat, barely conscious and beaten every shade of blue and purple.

"C'mon honey, let's go home. I think we all need some rest from this eventful day", my mother sighed as my father and I hummed in agreement, walking to the parking lot.

I suddenly stopped as a bird landed a few feet away. I wouldn't have stopped if it were a normal bird but this one was different. It had no face.

"So, you gonna explain what that was or?", I questioned the bird as it tilted it's head at me.

It cawed a few times even though it has no beak before those caws slowly turned into the irritating voice of ROB.

"Well entertainment mostly. Thought I'd spice your life up a bit and get some kicks out of it as well"

"So sending an unregistered sex offender after me is your type of entertainment?", I asked with a raised eyebrow, unamused.

"What else is more entertaining than that? Would you prefer I sent goblins? Would you like to reinact goblin slayer for me?", ROB chuckled maniacally.

"Y'know I always thought you were lonely but not to the point that you'd do something like this. Ah, I'm so generous aren't I, taking time out of my day to entertain the outcasted mentally ill god. I'm such a good person aren't I?", I said as I looked at the sky with the most righteous expression I could pull off.

ROB looked at me in silence but I could feel his anger boiling.

"You little brat, don't think I haven't forgotten how you flipped me off last time..."

"OH WOW. You're so amazing. To be able to remember that with your mental illness is impressive", I exclaimed in mock astonishment.

"How's that pleurisy holding up for you?", ROB retorted back. "I'm just trying to play with the disabled kid aren't I? Ah, such a benevolent god I am", ROB sighed gently, a saintly aura radiating off the bird he possessed.

"Drop dead pigeon fucker."

"Get an inhaler Darth Vader."

We traded insults for a while before my mother came running over to me.

"Why weren't you following us? We walked all the way to the car and didn't even realize you were gone," My mother said out of breath.

"Oh I was just looking at this weird bird" I pointed only to find the bird was no longer there.

My mother looked at me in puzzlement before shaking her head and pulling me along. I really hope he doesn't pull any of this stupid crap anymore. This took a toll on my mental state for sure.

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Maerdy Note: This doesn't have anything to do with the main story directly. It's kinda like Naruto filler. Just some dumb shit that isn't mentioned and kept behind the scenes yknow?